by Sarah Price
Indeed Lizzie could.
“Then the Lydia and George situation happened,” she said, a deep frown creasing her brow. “And when he heard that the farm was in such a state of disarray, he considered selling it. He said the thought of coming back here to stay was simply too painful for him.”
Lizzie was seated on the edge of the mattress, waiting to hear what had happened next. “But he came back!”
“Ja, he did! And he knew when he saw me at church that he had been wrong. He never should have listened to whoever told him I didn’t care. And then Frederick urged him to come calling. Of all people!” She clapped her hands in delight and laughed. “To think that there may be a heart in that proud man after all!”
If Lizzie wanted to correct her sister, she did not. Oh, she could have shared everything that she had learned about pride and how they had all been so wrong when they had misjudged Frederick. There were many lessons that they all could learn from her secrets. However, she didn’t want to tarnish the day. Instead she wanted Jane to enjoy this blessed moment without getting into the details of who Frederick Detweiler truly was. Besides, she told herself, if she did start telling Jane the story, she would have to admit that she too had experienced a broken heart. The only difference was that she feared she had missed the opportunity to mend it long before it had actually been broken.
“He wants to announce the wedding right away and have the ceremony as soon as possible,” Jane continued. “Frederick will stand by him, and since he must return to Ohio, it’s better to have the wedding sooner than wait for the wedding season.”
It made sense, and Lizzie knew that many more established couples were not waiting for the traditional time when weddings took place in late October and November. Despite the autumn harvest, they would have an early October wedding, even if that meant fewer people could attend the ceremony and fellowship afterward. From the look on Jane’s face, it was clear that she didn’t care. All that mattered to her sister was that she had, at last, gained the right to be called Charles’s Jane, and that would be how she would be known for the rest of her life.
The bittersweet feelings that Lizzie felt didn’t matter. All that mattered was her sister’s happiness, and that, blessedly, was clearly in abundance.
Chapter Twenty-Five
WITH THE WEDDING fast approaching, Maem was a flurry of activity, trying to finish the canning for winter while preparing for a marriage service at their house. Jane had already made her light blue wedding dress, and it hung from a hanger on the back of their bedroom door. It was her wedding dress and would one day be the same dress in which she would be buried. In between those years she would have bopplis and gardens, harvests and worship service, laughter and even tears. Her life would now be centered on tending to the Beachey farm and taking care of Charles and her family.
Lizzie took to walking in the early morning, right after the breakfast meal. She found herself constantly deep in thought, replaying the events of the past few months in her head. She knew that change was inevitable and that all of these new experiences were life events that had been destined to occur. Yet she couldn’t help but wonder about so many things happening within such a short period of time.
She found herself drawn to one of her favorite verses in the Bible: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” Lizzie was well aware that God’s hand was behind everything that had happened: from the storm that forced Jane to stay at the Beachey farm until the roads were cleared, to Jacob Beachey’s illness that called Charles home, to Charlotte marrying Wilmer and Lizzie’s subsequent visit to Ohio. There was even a reason behind Lydia’s hasty marriage to George, which was what ultimately caused Charles to return to Leola, resulting in his upcoming nuptials with Jane.
For I know the plans I have for you . . .
It astounded Lizzie to realize that God had planned this marriage. He had sanctioned it long before Charles had even met Jane, perhaps even before they had been born. Indeed, He wanted them to prosper in love and life. He also already knew their future and the future of their kinner.
She felt a wave of warmth flood through her body, and she crossed her arms as she walked. What plans did God have for her? she wondered. In what ways was she meant to prosper? If at one time she had only wanted to live at home in order to help her daed during the day and read her books during the night, she could hardly imagine anymore what His plans were for her. Her original idea for her future now seemed dreary and unfulfilling. There had to be something more.
She only hoped that her one opportunity for true happiness had not already come and gone. Her pulse quickened as she asked herself if, indeed, her own unconscious prejudices had blinded her to what God intended. Is that even possible? she wondered with a worried feeling in her heart. Could her own prejudices and sins really stand in the way of God’s will being fulfilled?
For another half hour Lizzie tried to grasp the magnitude of what had occurred, trying to dissect it and understand the unknown. Finally she had to give up and hand it over to God. Instead of second-guessing everything, she paused and said a silent prayer of gratitude to Him for having allowed Jane to reunite with her beloved Charles. She knew that it had been His plan all along to arrange this marriage. What Lizzie couldn’t understand was why it had been such a long and arduous emotional journey, involving so many people. If God intended for Jane and Charles to be together, why had so many other things occurred?
Still, she knew better than to question God: For I know the plans I have for you. God had been in control the entire time. Only He knew the reasons for the other situations that had occurred in the meantime. Lessons learned, experiences endured, life lived.
“Was your walk refreshing or taxing?” Jane asked her when Lizzie returned. She had been sitting at the table, dishing cookie dough onto four baking sheets. However, when Lizzie walked in, Jane quickly set down the spoon and stood up.
“Both, I reckon,” Lizzie sighed.
When Lizzie looked at her, Jane studied her face. “You look far away. Is everything all right?”
“Oh, ja, ja,” Lizzie said quickly. The last thing she wanted to do was worry her sister before her big day. And given the fact that she was uncertain as to what was at the heart of her emotional turmoil, how could she have even begun to explain it? She forced a smile, hoping that it might compel her heart to stop hurting. “I can’t believe that in just a few short days you will be married!”
Jane laughed and reached her arms out to hug her sister in a rare physical display of sisterly affection.
“You will be Charles’s Jane from that day forward!” Lizzie added, enjoying the moment of closeness with her sister.
“If only every woman could experience a fraction of the happiness that I feel,” Jane said enthusiastically. The glow in her blue eyes showed how deeply she meant her words. “I wouldn’t change a thing for the world!”
“I’m so happy for you, Jane,” Lizzie laughed, her heavy mood slowly lifting. After the emotional turmoil that had occurred with the elopement of her youngest sister, it was uplifting to have a wunderbaar marriage to celebrate with her special sister.
“Now, I do have something serious to ask you,” Jane said, unexpectedly sobering from the giddiness of the previous moment. She took a deep breath and laid her hand on Lizzie’s arm. “You know that I would like you to be my newehocker,” she said. “To sit with me and help me. The day would not be perfect if my special sister were not beside me. You have always been such a dear friend as well a right gut schwester. I would have no one else but you be there with me.”
While Lizzie had always presumed that she would be Jane’s attendant, she hadn’t been prepared to be asked quite so formally. “I . . . I would be honored, Jane,” she managed to say.
Delighted with Lizzie’s acceptance, Jane turned around and hurried to the other room, only to return with a new dress that hung from a hanger. It was
of navy blue fabric and perfectly sewn. “I knew you’d agree, so I took the liberty of making your dress for you!” With great finesse she displayed the dress, waiting for Lizzie’s reaction.
“When did you have time to make it?” Lizzie laughed, astonished at Jane’s gift. She took the dress from her sister and held it against her body. “And such a pretty fabric!” She looked up at Jane. “It’s quite different, ain’t so? Wherever did you find the fabric to make it?”
Jane clapped her hands in delight. “Oh, Charles and I went out for a buggy ride to that dry good store past Intercourse. I wanted something special, not just from Smucker’s store.
When I saw this fabric, I just knew you’d look perfect in it.”
“Why, that was only a few days ago!” Lizzie exclaimed, amazed that her sister had been able to create something so beautiful in such a short period of time. “I never saw you work on this once!”
“You’ve been walking so much lately that I took that time to cut the pattern and sew it. I wanted it finished before I asked you,” Jane explained, her eyes sparkling with delight at the secret she had managed to keep from her own sister. “The other thing you should know is that Charles has asked Frederick to be his newehocker. That means you will be seated with him.”
If Jane’s news was meant to disturb Lizzie, it did anything but that. Instead she found herself anticipating the wedding for an entirely new reason: she’d be seated next to Frederick and could, perhaps, express her gratitude for any part that he had in talking with Charles about Jane’s true feelings for him. Somehow she knew that he was behind this joyful match having come to fruition. “I think I can suffer through that,” Lizzie said, her tone serious but the expression on her face teasing. “Even if only for an hour.”
They both laughed at her joke, despite the fact that Lizzie’s heart was racing as she counted down the number of days left until she would have time to speak with Frederick at last.
Chapter Twenty-Six
THE SUN SHONE on the Tuesday of Jane’s wedding to Charles. It was cool outside, as was typical for early autumn, and the leaves were just beginning to change colors. The backdrop of color against the crisp blue sky made for a beautiful day. With more than seventy gray-topped buggies parked in the yard and driveway of the Blank farm, there was no need to announce that a celebration was underway at the house.
Now that the marriage ceremony was completed, Jane and Charles sat at the Eck table, smiling as they greeted the people who approached them with well wishes. Lizzie stood by the door, watching with a bittersweet smile on her own face. The mix of people in the large gathering room and kitchen brought a smile to her face. Their friends and family from Lancaster moved about the room in sharp contrast to the Amish who had journeyed from Ohio to witness the wedding ceremony and participate in fellowship. While the former outnumbered the latter, due to the distance and time inherent to the journey, it was clear that everyone was happy for Jane and Charles. Even Carol Ann had appeared to be genuinely pleased when she approached the table to extend her warm wishes and blessing for a happy marriage.
Indeed, Lizzie was terribly happy for her sister and felt relief that they would not move back to Ohio. Yet there was a longing in her heart for her own happiness.
She slipped out the door and wandered behind the house. What she needed, even if for just a moment, was to be alone, some time to think about everything that had happened in just the past few months. So much had changed, both around her and within her. She stood by the fence and hugged herself in her familiar way, watching the cows graze so peacefully on the far side of the pasture.
Jane would be living at the Beachey farm immediately. Most Amish women remained in their family home for the winter, since it took time for many Amish men to become established and acquire a house or a farm. Charles, however, already had both, and there was no reason for Jane not to join him.
She would miss having Jane around the house. She knew that they would visit often, but Lizzie was also aware that Jane would need some time on her own to get familiar with life at the Beachey farm.
“Elizabeth.”
She turned at the sound of her name. A familiar voice. Yes, it was Frederick, walking toward her, a serene look on his face as he approached. She felt her heart jump into her throat. “I . . . I just needed some fresh air,” she heard herself say in a rather apologetic tone of voice. “It gets so hot in there, with all those people, ja?”
He stood before her and tilted his head, studying her expression. There was a softness to his eyes, and she found herself caught in them. “I shall be leaving for Ohio in a few days,” he announced.
“Oh?”
“I have no further business here in Pennsylvania,” he offered as an explanation.
The news startled her, and she felt her pulse quicken. If he left for Ohio, she knew that she would never see him again. She looked away, praying that he could not read her thoughts. “I see,” she whispered.
“But,” he continued, pausing after the word, “it is my intention to attend the Sunday service one last time.”
“I cannot thank you enough for all that you have done, Frederick,” she said, forcing herself to look at him. “I . . . I . . . ” She wanted to say more, but the words would not come to her lips. “You have proven me quite wrong, Frederick Detweiler, and I have learned a valuable lesson about pride.”
He smiled, a wistful smile that said much more than his silence.
“I . . . I wish you well on your journey home,” she forced herself to continue, hating each word as soon as it came out of her mouth but knowing it was the proper thing to say. The six-hour drive back to Ohio meant good-bye, and that was something she did not want to face.
He cleared his throat and for just a moment stared over her shoulders, his eyes drinking in the scenery: the cows, the pastures, and the sun beginning to sink toward the horizon. And then he returned his eyes to meet hers. “I am standing before you, Elizabeth Blank, for a different reason,” he said calmly. “You see, a few months back, when you were in the Dutch Valley, I asked you a question and you responded, citing two reasons for denying me that which I wished for so desperately.”
Lizzie held her breath.
“I am standing here to ask you another question, a different question, and one that I hope will be answered in a much more satisfactory manner,” he went on. “I understand that my aendi had a conversation with you, one that has given me a renewed hope that if I were to repeat that question, the one that you found so distasteful when I asked it in Ohio, mayhaps the answer would be different?”
“Is that your question, Frederick?” she asked softly when he paused, her heart pounding inside of her chest. “For I don’t rightly understand what you are asking.”
He cleared his throat and seemed to reach deep within himself for courage to proceed. It was an unusual side of Frederick, one that she had not experienced before but that she found quite charming as it contrasted sharply with his typical stoic and controlled manner of approaching situations. “The question is whether or not your feelings for me have changed. You see, my own feelings for you have not changed, Elizabeth. But one word from you, just one single word, and I will return to Ohio, never to bother you any longer.” He paused, taking a moment to compose himself before he dared to reach out and brush a stray hair that had fallen from beneath her prayer kapp. “Yet, if your feelings have changed, I would like to know it so that, mayhaps, we could announce our intentions at the church service this Sunday, and I would delay my journey back to Ohio until I could travel with a companion . . . a wife.”
Lizzie took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. Her heart pounded inside of her chest, and she could scarce remove her eyes from his gaze. “I . . . I hardly know what to say, Frederick.” When she saw a light flicker in his eyes, she immediately continued. “I had no hope of your feelings staying the same, Frederick, especially after I so unfairly abashed you, and despite the fact that mine have, indeed, changed so far to your favor, I am speech
less and finding it difficult to answer your question.”
For a moment he did not respond. He seemed to be reflecting on her words as if gauging their true meaning to ensure that he had heard her properly. When he realized what she had said, he seemed to relax, just a touch, and his eyes softened once again.
“Then I shall speak to the bishop, ja?”
Lizzie bit her lower lip and nodded, feeling shy around this man whom she had just promised to marry, a man whom only a few short months earlier she had vowed would be the last man on earth she could ever consider spending the rest of her life with. Only now she could not imagine spending one more day apart from him.
With a hint of trepidation he reached for her hand. His thumb caressed her skin, and he smiled. His smile was soft and gentle, showing a mixture of relief and tenderness. “Frederick’s Lizzie,” he whispered.
She gave a small laugh, more from nervousness, and he pulled her into his arms. He laughed with her, holding her tight against his chest, not caring if anyone saw. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder, shutting her eyes and enjoying the feeling of finally being held by this man.
“I had all but given up hope,” he said softly, his lips near her ear. “Yet I could not leave Leola without seeking you once again. I feel like a moth drawn to a candle!”
At this comparison she laughed again. “I shall never burn you, Frederick, nor singe your wings!”
“I wouldn’t care if you did,” he retorted, pulling back just enough to stare down into her face. “But I would much prefer that you’d kiss me.”
She glanced over his shoulder, careful to insure that no one was around or watching. Then she stood on her toes and lifted her face, just slightly, with her eyes fixed on his. “A good fraa always obeys her husband,” she whispered as she let her lips brush lightly against his.