by Kenneth Buff
The Headless Hover Biker
Dick sat in the plastic booth, sipping his coffee. The smell of it made him feel at home in Murphy’s Diner. It reminded him of all the other countless stops he’d made there.
HN-R3 sat across from Dick. His metal frame seemed out of place with Murphy’s décor, but Dick didn’t notice.
“How is your coffee, sir?” HN-R3 asked.
“It’s good, Henry,” Dick said with surprise. “Thanks for asking.”
“You are welcome, sir. Many sociology texts state that humans appreciate conversation that is not dictated by factual need.”
Dick smirked. “That’s true. We think of it as being polite.”
“I understand that is the thought, but sir, what is the point of being polite if it immobilizes progress? Many times humans will choose the action that is perceived as pleasant, rather than the one that is logical.”
“I don’t know,” Dick said. “I guess it’s just part of human nature.”
“But sir, that cannot be accurate, unless we are to believe humans possess multiple natures. I have observed—”
The robot was interrupted as a young waitress approached. “Are y’all ready to order?” The gum smacked in her teeth as she smiled.
Dick looked across the table to Henry, his eyes raised. “I’ll take the fish and chips,” he said.
“Good choice,” the waitress said with a smack. “It’s one of my favorites.”
She waited a moment for Dick to respond, he smiled at her slightly, and she turned her attention to Henry.
“And if you need anything, hon, just let me know.”
“If a situation arises where I need your assistance, I will inform you.”
The waitress smiled. “You do that.” She turned back to Dick, “I’ll have that order right out.”
“Thanks,” Dick said.
The tension in Dick’s shoulders loosened as the waitress walked away.
“Why don’t you enjoy the company of other humans?”
“What?” Dick asked.
“You do not enjoy the company of other humans. Why is that so?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sir, I have monitored your behavior for the last six months, and I have noted many patterns, one of which is the negative physical reaction your body exhibits when engaged in live conversation with another human. I must say, I do not understand it. Social interaction is good for human health. I am concerned.”
Dick shook his head as he smiled. “I appreciate the concern, Henry, but I’m fine. I get plenty of social interaction aboard the ship.”
“Conversations with company robots do not count.”
“I wasn’t referring to robots, Henry, thank you very much. I’m a member of an online chess league. We meet every Thursday on the scanner.”
“I was not aware of this. Do you speak to one another during the game, or does the video feed merely provide a false sense of company?”
Dick rubbed his palm across his forehead, rubbing the skin there. “Does it really matter? Let’s talk about something else.”
“Was I not being polite, sir?”
“You’re fine, I just don’t want to talk about it anymore. Pick a new topic.”
“Yes, sir,” Henry said. “The temperature is quite exceptional for our needs. At negative 120 degrees Celsius asteroids will explode into slush upon impact with the ship, only causing superficial damage.”
“Great news,” Dick said.
The waitress returned carrying Dick’s order.
“Sorry about the wait, hon, kitchen’s backed up with a big top.”
“That’s all right,” Dick said.
“Everything lookin’ good?”
“Looks great,” Dick said.
“All right, y’all enjoy.”
“Miss,” the robot said as she turned away.
“Yes, babe?”
“Could you repeat what you were discussing in the kitchen with the cook?”
“Henry!” Dick threw his hands into the air.
The waitress smiled at Dick. “It’s all right, hon, I don’t mind.” She turned to the robot. “We were talking about the bike factory on Kiev. I’ve been wanting one for awhile, been saving up, but Jack just told me there ain’t any for sell on account of the disappearances.”
“What disappearances?” Dick asked.
“The workers. They’re all gone. I guess they just vanished. Happened over the holiday, so they haven’t had a chance to report it. I told Jack I’d just buy an old one, but he said all the prices been jacked up because of demand. Couldn’t buy one if I wanted to.”
“Strange,” Dick said.
“Sure is,” she said before heading back into the kitchen.
“We must stop at Kiev,” Henry said.
“What?” Dick said. “You’ve lost your mind. We’re not stopping on Kiev. We have a new trailer full of product; we’re going to the station.”
“Kiev Motor Company is a subsidiary of Miracle Grocer. If what the woman said is true, then the company has currently misplaced 1,323 employees, the value of whom far exceeds the contents of the trailer.”
“Okay,” Dick said, done arguing. “We’ll call it in; they can send someone from the station.” He went back to his fish.
“That will not do.” Henry said. “The misplaced workers may require immediate assistance. We must act now.”
Dick stared at the robot, not flinching. He knew he couldn’t win the argument. “Fine,” Dick said, stuffing a fry in his mouth. “Can I finish my food first?”
“That would be optimal. You will need your energy.”
Transport 1 entered the atmosphere of the colonial planet Kiev. The sight was phenomenal. Dick brought the ship down through the green mist, rubbing the skin around his temples as he did it. He was worried about the vegetables in the cargo trailer. Since MG Station 2 was only a two-hour flight from the Johnson farm, he hadn’t bothered refueling the O2 tanks that kept the trailer’s cabin pressurized. He thought briefly about using one of the O2 tanks from the ship’s cabin, but quickly dismissed the idea. Better to risk a dock in pay than death. It was still a tough decision. The Earth housing market wasn’t getting any cheaper.
A soft beep sounded from the dashboard display, alerting Dick of a call.
“Accept call,” Dick said. “Display image, split screen 50:50.”
A woman’s image appeared on the screen of the ship as it continued its descent.
“This is Maggie Flinton, CEO of Kiev Motor Company. Your ship is entering private airspace. Please state your business.”
Henry approached Dick, turning his back to the screen. “Sir,” Henry began, “her statement that she is the CEO of the company is not accurate. She is, in fact, the general manager.”
Dick pressed the mute command on his dashboard before responding, “Thanks, Henry, but we’ll let her have this one.”
He pressed unmute and turned back to the screen, “I’m Captain Dick Shannon of Miracle Grocer’s Transport 1. We’ve been informed that your facility currently has 1,323 employees who have gone missing. We’ve contacted Station 2 and are still waiting for a response; protocol dictates that we launch an investigation ourselves until further instructions arrive.”
Dick turned to the robot and grinned. “Happy?”
“I assume the question is related—”
Dick raised his finger to his mouth as Maggie Flinton spoke.
“Oh, thank god, I was afraid you were marauders! They went missing yesterday, but I haven’t been able to get any calls through. I’ve been afraid to leave in case any of them come back.”
“I see,” Dick said. “But if you weren’t able to make any calls, how did we find out about your situation?”
The woman laughed. “I can’t control what happens outside of my factory. The people of the town talk. Our latest shipment didn’t leave yesterday like it was supposed to. I guess the town noticed.”
“Hmm,” Dick sa
id as the ship touched down on the grassy planet. “Would you mind if my harvest bot and I took a look around the factory? Time can be of the essence in these types of situations.”
“Oh my, please do. The sooner my employees are found, the sooner we can get the shipment in the air.”
Half the screen went black as the woman disappeared.
Dick turned to Henry. “Okay, I’m glad you made me come. Something weird is going on here. I don’t like her.”
“Sir, you do not yet know this woman. You may find that her personality is to your liking, given more time to appreciate her human imperfections. As for the situation of the missing workers, it is not as unique as it may first seem. Numerous events with similar patterns have happened before.”
“Oh yeah? What did these other ‘events’ turn out to be?”
“In seven out of twelve incidents the results led the investigators to mass graves; five out of those seven were filled with bodies whose deaths were determined to be mass suicide. The two others were cases of a local virus mutating. In both cases, the virus was responsible for killing the entire planet.”
“Oh,” Dick said. “What about the other five, what happened to them?”
“Currently unsolved,” Henry said.
“Interesting. Well, at least everyone on the planet’s not dead.”
Dick and Henry left the ship; Dick locked its controls before exiting. They moved to the glass door of the factory—it slid open as they approached.
“Welcome to the Kiev Hover Bike Factory, home of the world’s largest hover bike community.”
Dick smiled at the colorful screen as it detailed how they could continue their tour.
“Computer,” Dick said. “Access override.”
The screen went black. “Awaiting prompt.”
“Employee ID 1611. Dick Shannon, pilot of Miracle Grocer’s Transport 1. Requesting information on missing employees.”
“I’m sorry; your employee ID was not recognized. Goodbye.”
The screen returned to the images of the planet. It continued its instructions for the tour.
“Henry, why didn’t that computer accept my employee ID?”
“That I do not know, sir. The company was purchased by Miracle Grocer over a year ago, all Kiev software should have been updated within that time. I am accessing a file on Miracle Grocer and subsidiary ID numbers. The transfer speed is slow in this building. I will have access to the complete file in five minutes. Would you like me to step outside to increase speed?”
“No,” Dick said. “I want you here with me. Let’s get to this woman’s office.”
The two ignored the instructions from the video and followed the printed signs to the manager’s office.
They walked into the office. It was clean and orderly.
The woman smiled. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said. “I just want all of this to be over, so that we can get back to work.”
Dick looked past the woman, through the window behind her. There were still people working on the factory floor. “How many employees do you have working for the company?”
“A little under six hundred thousand.”
Dick’s head cocked at this. “Then why’s production stopped?”
“Most of those positions are clerical in nature. We only have two thousand employees who work directly in the factory.”
“I see,” Dick said, still looking out the window at the workers.
“The download is complete, sir. Would you like me to share the information with you, or would you prefer to wait?”
“Let’s hear it now. Miss Flinton’s story’s so full of holes, I’m sure a few more couldn’t hurt.”
Maggie appeared shocked. “How dare you accuse me of lying! I invited you here to help!”
“Lady, you’re so full of shit I can’t tell at which end you begin and which you end.”
“I won’t tolerate this! Out of my office!” The woman’s face was beet red.
“We will leave, ma’am,” Henry said, “but first I must share a document with you and Captain Shannon. The findings are very telling.”
Dick watched the woman as she put her hands to her ears and shook her body. “No!” she screamed. “I will not listen to you! Get out of my office!”
“You’re not going to scream your way out of this, lady. We’re not stupid,” Dick said. “Don’t worry about her, Henry, just read the document.”
“The file is over seven hundred pages. Would you like me to read it in its entirety, or would you prefer relevant excerpts with commentary and possible interpretations?”
“The second one,” Dick said.
“NO!” Maggie screamed.
“Upon receiving the file, I immediately noted the average update time for the software of corporations by Miracle Grocers Incorporated is under three months. This meant that it was likely that the computer rejection of Captain Shannon’s ID number was not a programming error.”
“Stop it!” Maggie yelled.
“Ignore her; keep going.”
“Further reading,” Henry continued, ignoring the woman’s screams, “revealed that the Kiev Motor Bike Corporation had received software updates within the first month of its acquisition, and employee ID recognition was among the updates.”
“What are you talking about!?” Maggie demanded.
“So her whole story’s a lie?” Dick asked.
“Not necessarily, sir. The software, though updated, is still not up to interplanetary standards. Any proficient hacker could have infiltrated the system.”
Dick scratched his head. “Lady, Miss Flinton, please stop screaming.”
“No! You don’t believe me!”
The window behind her exploded.
Henry jumped between Dick and the shards of flying glass. A hover biker flew into the office, grabbing Maggie by her hair, pulling her to the bike. The figure wrapped its arms around her and flew from the factory, out into the green planet.
“What the hell was that?” Dick asked. “Did that thing have a head?”
“It would appear that Miss Flinton was kidnapped. As for the kidnapper, if it were human, then it must have a head, despite the lack of one present, but if it were a machine, it may, in fact, be headless.”
Dick brushed the broken glass from his uniform. “Shit. What the hell do we do now?” Dick looked through the broken glass, out into the factory. Henry was detailing possible actions, but Dick wasn’t listening. “We have to go after them.”
“I do not know if that would be best, sir. This could be a ploy to lure us from the factory.”
“We have to, Henry! She could be in danger.”
“I calculate the odds of Miss Flinton’s capture resulting in physical harm to be less than 12 percent. While our pursuit lends itself to an increased risk. If we were to pursue, there is a 30 percent chance that you will suffer injuries.”
“I’ll be careful,” Dick said.
“That is not good enough.”
“You can hold me on the bike, like a harvest bot seatbelt.”
Henry was silent for a moment as his positronic brain ran the numbers. “This would ensure relative safety. I will agree to our pursuit under these terms.”
“All right then, let’s go!”
Henry wrapped his heavy arms around Dick’s waist and jumped from the broken window to the factory floor. Henry’s feet stuck to the metal grates on impact.
“Deactivate magnetic grip,” Henry said. Henry’s feet let go of the floor, and he ran to the nearest bike.
The robot leaped atop an unfinished hover bike, and placed Dick in front of him.
“Is this such a good idea?” Dick asked as Henry tightened his hold around Dick’s waist. “The bike’s not even finished.”
“It is the only available form of transportation. We must utilize it.”
Dick looked around the factory. He didn’t see any other hover bikes. “All right…”
Henry started the vehicle and flew it above the flo
or, bringing it up slowly. The bike groaned under the weight.
“There’s gotta be another one around here. Maybe somewhere in the back.” Dick tried to step off the bike, but Henry held him tight—he pressed down on the accelerator, and the bike snapped forward.
Dick’s hair blew past his face, dancing in the air. The smell of the wind carried the scent of life.
Henry scanned the topography, searching for bent foliage. He found it. He followed the trail into town.
The hover bike turned down Main Street, kicking up mud as it went.
“You’re going kinda fast, Henry.”
“Sir, I’m driving well below the vehicle’s top speed; your safety is secured.”
“Sure, but it’s not comfortable.”
“I regret that your comfort cannot currently be addressed. Finding Miss Flinton and the kidnapper is our top priority.”
“There better be—”
Dick was cut short as the headless hover biker drove into their left side—smashing the plastic frame.
Henry’s hand released the throttle, and they flew from the bike. Henry held Dick to his chest like a magnet, and curled his body. He absorbed the majority of the blow as they slid across the dirt road.
Henry raised his head to see the hover biker pulling away from the wreck. It was flying toward them.
Henry pushed Dick from the road and dropped his head as the bike flew inches above him. Henry forced his hand into the guts of the bike and tore out the machine’s power core.
The bike’s engines died, and the biker flew from their seat to the dry earth.
Dick stood over the biker, staring at its missing head. The biker was covered in black leather, and where its neck should have been there was nothing, just a flat surface that was even with its shoulders, and it too was covered in leather.
“What the hell is this thing?”
“It is the kidnapper,” Henry said. The robot knelt to the fallen biker and unbuttoned the leather suit, holding down the biker’s arms as they flailed.
As Henry unsnapped the buttons, a blue glow began emitting from the leather’s seams. Henry pressed his fingers into the seams and pulled the suit apart.
Dick’s mouth hung open as he stared down at the young blonde, woman. Her face was surrounded by the glow of internal wiring, highlighting her features.
“What is she? An android?”
The woman laughed. “You two are idiots.” She reached for the remaining buttons of the suit, and a massive bulk fell from her shoulders. She no longer looked as if she were a headless android. Dick could now see she was a young woman, with a slim build.
“Where’s Miss Flinton?” Dick demanded.
She laughed again, “Miss Flinton? That’s rich. She’s off taking care of that thing you’ve been looking for.”
“The missing employees.” Dick said.
The woman looked confused. “No, you idiot, the hover bikes. She’s destroying the hover bikes.”
Dick looked to Henry. “Why would she destroy the hover bikes?”
“There are many possible explanations, but taking the recent data into account, the most likely answer is personal vendetta.”
“That’s right,” the woman said with spit flying from her mouth. “We’re tired of Miracle Grocer taking from the planets and giving nothing back. Interplanetary corporations aren’t supposed to exist to turn a profit.”
“They don’t turn a profit,” Dick said.
“Actually, sir, according to their most recent report filed with the United Planetary Associates, they are a very profitable corporation, and are currently under investigation.”
Dick shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, so they’ve made some mistakes, whatever. You can’t just destroy their product because you’re pissed off.”
“Actually,” Henry said, “it would appear that their rise in profits was deliberate, and as far as the woman’s ability to destroy Miracle Grocer’s products, it would seem she has proven that she is capable.”
The woman smiled. “Looks like your robot’s smarter than you are.”
A low growl escaped Dick’s throat. “What about the employees? What have you done to them?”
The woman cackled. “What I have I done with the employees? We hired them. It’s amazing how underpaid we all are. People will do almost anything if you promise them money.”
“Wait,” Dick said. “If you’re destroying the hover bikes, how are you going to pay them?”
“I said ‘promise’ them money.”
“Oh, that’s sleazy.”
“You’re one to talk; you’ve got a woman penned to the ground by your robot.”
Dick ignored her and looked to Henry. “We have to stop Flinton from destroying the hover bikes.”
“Negative, sir, the police are on their way. I sent a digital transcript to the local police station, detailing the situation.”
“Please tell me your shortened it.”
“I did, sir, the document is only forty-three pages.”
“Christ,” Dick said. “They’re going to take too long. We have to go now.”
“The situation is too dangerous, and the reward is too low to risk your involvement.”
“We’re already involved, Henry.” Dick stepped away from the robot for a moment. He knew that argument wouldn’t work with Henry. He needed to think of something that would. He stared off into the distance until his vision went blurry.
“That’s it! Henry, you know how far a human eye can see. Get us close enough that you can see, but still far enough away that no human could see us. Would that be safe enough?”
“It would.”
The woman shrieked. “Idiots and cowards. I’m so glad our paths crossed; this is going to make a great story at cocktail parties.”
“Ignore her,” Dick said.
“I am already doing so. However, we will need to take her with us. We have no way of securing her for the police. I will update the sent file, notifying them of the change.”
“Thanks, Henry.”
“You’re welcome, sir.”
“Are you two done blowing each other?”
“When she says that we are, ‘blowing each other’, what is it she is referring to? This is a human colloquialism I have not yet heard.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Dick said.
The woman grinned.
“Just throw her on the hover bike.”
Henry carried the woman over his shoulder, applying enough pressure to prevent her escape. She protested vehemently.
Henry examined the condition of the wrecked hover bike; he found it suitable and threw the woman from his shoulder to the bike. He climbed on behind her.
“Ow! Watch it, lug nuts!” the woman screamed.
Dick smiled.
Henry started the bike, and it elevated three feet above the ground; the engine fluttered, but it flew. He moved it slowly toward Dick.
Dick climbed onto the hover bike and Henry helped him in front of the woman. The robot wrapped his arms around them both. The woman complained the entire ride.
Henry stopped the hover bike five miles west of the factory. He held onto the woman as they climbed off the bike.
“Let go of me, bastard! Let go of me! I’ll scream!” Henry covered her mouth. She squirmed, but there was no sound.
“What do you see, Henry?” Dick asked.
“The missing employees, they’re loading the hover bikes into a transport.”
“They must be taking them somewhere to destroy them. That’s strange though. Why wouldn’t they just do it here?” Dick walked to the woman and looked into her eyes. “If I ask Henry to take his hand off your mouth, do you promise not to scream?” Dick waited for a response and then realized she couldn’t move her lips. “Blink once for yes, twice for no.”
She blinked once.
“Henry, let her go.”
Henry released her. She looked as if she was considering running, but five miles was a long way.
/>
“Where are they taking the hover bikes?”
“Your robot’s lying.”
“What?”
“He’s lying. The plan wasn’t to move them, but to destroy them in the basement of the plant.”
“Robots can’t lie.”
“Well, he is! He has to be!”
Dick looked at the robot. “Are you lying, Henry?”
“I am not, sir. They are continuing to load additional hover bikes into the transport. They appear to be nearing the end.”
“We have to see what they’re doing!” the woman said. “Please! I have to know!”
“Lady, you’re nuts.” There were tears in her eyes. Dick scratched his head. “Henry, are any of them armed?”
“From what I can see, sir, they appear to be unarmed.”
“Could you allow us to get closer?”
“While I would not suggest that we move closer, sufficient evidence does not exist to say that doing so would be dangerous.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“If you wish.”
“I do.”
“Yes!” the woman clapped her hands together in quick succession.
They hopped on the hover bike and flew toward the factory. Henry stopped just short of the line of the factory workers loading the ship.
“What’s going on here!?” the woman screamed. She jumped from the bike and ran to the nearest worker. He ignored her and continued to fly into the ship.
Dick watched the woman scrambling around the factory workers. None of them paid her any attention.
“If we weren’t watching several felonies being committed, this would actually be kinda sad.”
“The act of theft from an interplanetary corporation is classified as an interstellar infraction, not a felony. Though the amount of product being stolen may require a new identifier be given. Perhaps grand theft with vindictive intent?”
“Henry, have you ever thought about becoming a lawyer?”
“No, sir, I have not.”
Dick smiled and then moved his focus to the workers. “Okay, Henry, how do we stop this?”
“Sir we are greatly outnumbered, the odds of any direct line of interference being successful is below 1 percent.”
“Thanks for not giving me the decimal.”
“I omitted it per your request.”
Dick slid his hand through his hair. “Thanks, Henry.” He was sweating. The wind was cool, but it didn’t make a difference. “So is there anything we can do to stop this?”
“Assuming you mean, ‘is there anything we can do to protect the product,’ then the answer is yes.”
“That is what I mean. So what can we do?” Dick watched as the line of hover bikers continued into the cargo bay of the transport ship.
“We could attempt many things, but the most likely success would happen if we were to divide our efforts by skill set. I suggest we seek to sabotage the ship’s escape by removal of its power cells. I can remove the power cells with relative ease while you distract the employees and the woman. Is this plan of action agreeable?”
“Yes, Henry! Let’s move!” Dick jumped from the hover bike and headed toward the screaming woman. Henry made his way to the ship.
“Hey!” Dick yelled at the panicking woman. She couldn’t hear him over her own shouts of desperation.
“Where is Maggie!?” she screamed at a passing biker.
The man looked at her. Her face was red, and moist with tears. He pressed his hand against the headset in his earlobe and spoke to it quietly. The biker looked at the woman with pity and steered the hover bike into the loading bay.
“Wait!” the woman begged. She turned to see Dick waving his arms. “What do you want?”
“To be honest, I just wanna get the hell out of here at this point, but I like to sleep at night, so I’ve gotta see this through.”
“You like to sleep at night?” she choked out a laugh. “I don’t know how you can. Do you even know who you work for?”
“Yeah, I do. I work for the galaxy’s number one crop manufacturer.”
“You mean the only producer? And how do you think that happened? Let me spoil it for you: it wasn’t luck.”
“Look, I don’t know what your insinuating, lady, but save it, I’m not really interested.”
Her cheeks flushed a darker red. “You’re so stupid. You’re being cheated, and you don’t even know it.”
“No, I know it. There’s just not a whole lot of options out there.”
The woman’s laugh was interrupted as the bay door suddenly closed.
The line of hover bikers floating out of the factory stopped. Their faces were as confused as the woman’s.
She walked to the nearest factory worker and grabbed him by the shoulder. “What the hell’s going on here?”
The man shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Henry walked along the underbelly of the ship, making his way to power cell A. He pulled back the tip of his right index finger. He inserted the screwdriver into the metal plate and began removing it.
“Hold it right there, robot.”
Henry’s finger stopped spinning. He turned to look at Maggie Flinton standing below him. She was holding a laser rifle.
“You are no longer an employee of Miracle Grocer. Your commands are not valid.” Henry returned to removing the plate.
“That’s true,” Maggie said. “I don’t work for Miracle Grocer anymore. But your friend does.”
Henry stopped unscrewing when he heard the sounds of the rifle raising.
“You’re standing too far to get an accurate shot,” Henry said, his back still to the woman.
“I can see him just fine. I have the crosshairs over his chest.”
Henry turned to face her.
“Don’t,” she said. Henry stopped moving.
“Release your magnets from my ship, and let yourself fall to the ground.”
“I cannot commit self-harm.”
“You can, and you will. Unless you want to be responsible for a hole in your friend’s chest.”
Henry released the magnetic grip in his feet. He fell to the ground; landing on the hard earth, back first.
“Now stand,” Maggie said, “with your back facing me.”
He did as she said. Chunks of dirt and grass clung to him.
“Walk behind me. Stop when I stop.”
Dick held the woman back as he saw Maggie Flinton approaching; she held a rifle at her hip. It was aimed toward them.
“Let go of me, you idiot!” The woman struggled to be free, but Dick had her.
Maggie stopped walking. Henry was standing behind her. His back turned.
“Hi, Alex,” Maggie said.
“Maggie? What’s going on?”
Maggie shrugged. “What can I say? I decided to go bigger.”
“What!?” Alex screamed.
Dick had to put his all of his weight into holding her back.
“Bigger? What the hell does that mean? What are you doing?! Tell me! Please!” Tears were pouring down her face.
“Oh, baby.” She wiped Alex’s cheek. “It’ll all work out. You’ll see.”
Maggie turned from Alex to Dick. “I believe we have a trade to make.”
“Henry, are you all right?” Dick yelled to the robot.
“I am fine, sir. She threatened to murder you if I did not agree to obey her commands.”
Dick grimaced. “Smart bitch.”
“Yes, I am.”
“The girl for Henry.”
“No,” Maggie said. “I want something else.”
Alex’s face was shocked.
“Okay,” Dick said. “Then what?”
“Your word that you won’t follow me.”
“I can’t give you that.”
“If you can’t, I’ll put a hole in your robot right now, and if you follow me, I’ll shoot your ship down the moment it’s in video range. That’s not a problem, but I’d prefer things not get
messy.”
Dick looked at her ship. It was a Miracle Grocer Transport, second edition. It was not equipped with defense magazines.
“Fine,” Dick said. “I won’t follow you.” Dick looked past the woman. “Henry, let’s go.”
“Not yet,” Maggie said, backing away. “He can move when I’m in my ship.”
She brought her hand to her earlobe as she walked away. By the time she moved her hand, the hover bikers were already scattering, flying from the factory in every direction.
“Take me with you! God dammit! Take me with you! Please!” Alex yelled after her.
Maggie turned and blew a kiss. “It’s better this way. I love you.” But her words were quiet, and Alex couldn’t hear.
Alex turned to Dick; she beat her fists against his chest. “You son of a bitch, this is all your fault! It’s all your fault!”
Dick raised his arms to block her. The pain was only numbed. Dick looked to Henry, his face pleading. “A little help here.”
Henry grabbed the girl. That’s when Dick noticed it. “Stop screaming.”
He looked at it. It was so bright he had to close his eyes. The box sat on the ground, next to Transport 1. It was emitting a yellow light.
“Is that a portable microwave?”
Dick took a step forward, and Henry grabbed him. The robot swung Dick and Alex to his chest.
The bomb exploded, sending pieces of rock, plastic, and metal flying.
Alex screamed as the debris bounced off of Henry’s back, some of it blasted past the robot, slicing her skin.
When the air settled, Henry let them go.
Dick looked where the bomb had exploded. He scowled. “Your girlfriend tried to kill us.” There was a crater in the earth where the bomb had been. Hollow and burned, but worse than that was the other thing it did. Dick wiped the smoke from his eyes. “I take that back. She didn’t try to kill us. She just wanted to ground us.” There was a hole in the ship were the hyper drive had been. Any hopes of catching the already-departed transport were gone.
Dick turned to Henry. “What does she want?”
“I do not yet know, sir.”
The ship drifted through the blackness of space, completing its route to Miracle Grocer’s Station 2.
Dick sat at the pilot’s seat, watching the stars glow in the dark.
“Henry, can you take the helm? I want to talk to the prisoner.”
“I can, sir. Though, technically she is not our prisoner; we are neither police officers nor jail men. The correct term would be ‘captive.’”
“Oh, I’m just your captive? That makes it feel better.” Alex lay on a bench in the living quarters. Her leg was chained to a rail.
Dick took a seat beside her. “I’m sorry about the limited space. The ship’s not really designed for comfort.”
“It’s fine,” Alex said. “I wasn’t expecting to be comfortable.”
Dick swallowed a lump in his throat. “I wanted to ask you a question. Why did Maggie leave you?” Dick could see tears building in her eyes.
“I don’t know.”
“That wasn’t part of the plan?”
“No,” she said, wiping her eyes, “it wasn’t.”
“I see,” he paused, considering not asking her, but then decided to. “Is Maggie Flinton your girlfriend?”
“Wife.”
“Wife!” Dick said with a laugh. “You’re a family of criminals? Please tell me you don’t have any children.”
“She’s pregnant…”
Dick couldn’t hide his disgust. “She’s pregnant! And she’s attacking the galaxy’s largest interplanetary corporation?”
“Someone has to,” Alex said, rolling over to her side, facing the wall. “Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Are you sure it’s even yours?”
“Of course it’s mine! She’s not a cheater!”
“She left you,” Dick reminded her.
“Go away!”
Dick returned to the dashboard, his head aching more than when they started the investigation. “Now do you see why I don’t like people?”
“No, sir, I do not. From my observations it would appear that you do like the captive, Alex Flinton, for both her physical appearance and for her company.”
“Well,” Dick said, straightening his back, “you’re wrong, but just because I’m curious, tell me why you say that.”
“I have observed your conversations with Miss Flinton, their average length being between 1.5-2.0 minutes. The average length of every other conversation I’ve witnessed you in engaged in with a human has been under .5 minutes. This data, along with your selected word choice and use of sustained eye contact in her presence, has brought me to the conclusion that you do indeed like the captive, sir.”
Dick’s eyes grew wide. He brought his lips to the robot’s sound receptor, “Shut. Up.”
“I’m sorry, sir, was providing that data not polite?”
Dick couldn’t stop the smile. He gritted his teeth as he slapped his hand across Henry’s back. Dick took the seat next to him. They sat there, side by side, piloting the ship through the darkness.
Dick and Henry Will Return…
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Also By Kenneth Buff
Skeletons
Bad Dreams
More Coming This Winter
Coming Soon
If you liked Dick and Henry: The Space Saga, then you’ll love Sunborn. Sunborn is a science fiction novel that tells the story of Daniels, a man trapped in an icy future where feuding empires battle for steel cities buried in the ice below.
Sunborn is coming Spring 2015.
About the Author
I was born in Wichita, Kansas, where I learned the love of story telling through the screen of a television and the film of a video cassette. I currently live in Stillwater, Oklahoma with my loving wife. I work by day as a Special Education teacher, and by night as a math tutor. When I’m not doing those things I’m working on my next book, short story, or novella, but even if I am teaching, I am probably mulling the ideas over in my head, while I also teaching a child how to add. This can lead to some unexpected story ideas, such as Robot Wedding, a short story that’s about exactly what it sounds: A robot wedding. The idea came directly from a conversation with a first grader, and it turned out to be a pretty good story. That’s how I work, ideas come from strange places, and hopefully turn into something that’s worth keeping around, I usually think so, those ones that aren’t, they can just stay in that blue folder on my desktop. All the others, I’ll share with you.
Well readers, thanks for taking the time to read a little about me, I’ll see you next time.
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