by Larissa Ione
And there was no way he could let Cat die.
“There’s one other thing, sir.”
Of course there was. “What is it?”
“The enchantment inside the Unfallen...it can be used to track her whereabouts.”
Mother. Fuck. “She can’t be left alone.”
“Do you want me to stay with her?”
Oh, hell, no. Silth was a nasty motherfucker, but he was movie-star handsome and had an insatiable sexual appetite. He wasn’t getting near Cat, who had shown herself to be very open about her own sexual appetites.
Gods, she was a dream female. Beautiful and kind, if a little reckless, and when it came to being physical, she wasn’t shy...and yet, there was that pesky innocence about her that intrigued him.
And made him crazy, as his outburst in the bedroom had proven.
“My lord?” Silth prompted, and Hades realized he’d gotten lost in his thoughts. “Shall I stay with her?”
“No,” Hades said quickly. “I’ve got it for now. Send the message to Cerberus, and then contact me once we have hellhounds searching the Rings. Cat can help look for the human, but I don’t want her out there until we have the hounds for protection.”
Silth gave a shallow bow and took off, leaving Hades to wonder what to do in the meantime.
One thing was certain, he wasn’t going to tell Cat any of this. She’d been through enough already. Now he had to figure out how to stay with her while not giving into his desire for her. Somehow, he had to pretend that being with her was easy, no big deal, when the truth was that being with her without being inside her might be the hardest thing he’d ever done.
Chapter Thirteen
The longer Hades was gone, the angrier Cat got.
Yes, she understood he was handling business. And given the state of...everything, it was probably serious business. But the way he’d backed out of the shower and run out of the room had been insulting. Of course, his insults had been insulting, too.
Was he playing a game with her? Was he getting a good laugh over the Unfallen panting after him while he remained distant? Was she just a toy for his amusement?
Cursing to herself, she finished drying with the rough linen cloth she’d assumed was meant to be a towel, and then she tried out the “thought clothes” Hades had mentioned. Instantly, she was clothed in jeans and a corset identical to the real ones on the bed. Huh. She changed the colors, turning the corset to bright orange and the jeans to black.
Neat.
But maybe she should try something different. Something that would knock Hades off balance. He thought she should go to Zhubaal to get what she wanted, so maybe she should show Hades exactly what he’d be missing.
But what?
If you want to get a male’s attention, give him something to look at.
Lilliana had told Cat that while picking out an outfit to distract Azagoth from some sort of bookwork he’d been poring over a few weeks ago. Hours later, if the spring in Azagoth’s step had been any indication, Lilliana’s choice of clothes had been spot on.
What the hell, Cat thought. She replicated the outfit, going for a red leather miniskirt and a leather bra top, finishing it off with matching stilettos. Looking down at herself, she smiled. Let Hades resist that.
As if on cue, he opened the door. But to her frustration, he didn’t so much as glance at her as he crossed to the window.
“Silth found the Orphmage.” He brushed back the curtains. “It shouldn’t be long before he gives up the location of the human.”
Great. Terrific. She should probably say something about that, given that she’d kicked off this entire mess when she came to the Inner Sanctum to find the human.
Instead, she opened her mouth, and something else came out. “What is up with you?” she snapped. “I have been flirting my ass off, and you act like I’m trying to sell you stewed maggots.”
“Hey,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Don’t knock stewed maggots. With enough spices and tomatoes––”
“Argh!” She spun away from him, too angry to continue this. And she hoped like hell he didn’t notice her nearly break her ankle on these stupid shoes that clearly didn’t work to catch his attention. Nothing did. Maybe it was time to give up and stop being pathetic. “Never mind.”
A hand clamped down on her shoulder, halting her in her tracks. A heartbeat later, Hades was in front of her, his expression serious. “Trust me, I’m not immune to your...feminine wiles.”
“First of all,” she said, shrugging away from his touch, “I don’t have any wiles. Second, you’re a big, fat liar.”
“Baby, you’re wearing fucking wiles.” He grabbed her wrist, and before she could resist, he ground his erection into her palm. “And does this feel like I’m immune? Did I look like I was immune when I was in the shower and you were stroking me?”
Holy shit. She stood frozen to the spot, her hand cupping Hades’s massive erection. Finally, she looked up at him, her breath catching in her throat at the glow of heat in his eyes.
“I––I don’t understand. If you want me, why have you been such a colossal asshat?”
One corner of his mouth twitched in a smile. “Asshat? I like that.”
With a huff, she stepped away from him. “It wasn’t a compliment.”
“Your hand was on my dick. Anything you said would have been a compliment.”
How had he gone from being a jerk to being all charming so quickly? “You still haven’t answered my question.”
“You want the truth?” Reaching up, he ran his hand over his hair and blew out a long, tired breath. “You’re off limits to me.”
“Off limits?” she asked incredulously. “Says who?”
“Azagoth.”
She scowled, searching her brain for a reason Azagoth would say that, but she came up blank. “Why would he tell you I’m off limits?”
“You mean, why would he tell me that when he didn’t seem to give a shit that Zhubaal fucked you?”
Ouch. Flustered, she opened her mouth. Shut it. Opened it again. “That’s not what––” She cursed. “How did you know about me and Zhubaal? What did he say?”
“He didn’t say anything. That bastard is as tight-lipped as a Ghastem.”
Seeing how Ghastems had no mouths...yeah. “Then how did you know? And why do I have to keep asking the same question twice?”
He shrugged, his bare shoulder rolling slowly. “Dunno.”
She was going to kill him. “How. Did. You. Know?” she ground out.
“Griminions love gossip. Those little suckers live for it. When they aren’t collecting souls, I’m pretty sure they hold tea and knitting parties or something.”
Hmm. Maybe the reason things with Z had been so disastrous made sense now. Because he’d taken her to his chambers, but then he’d refused sex with her. She’d been pissed, but what if the reason for his reluctance was because Azagoth had forbidden him to be with her?
Sighing, she wished away the shoes and padded barefoot to the wooden chair at the end of the bed. “Is he punishing me, do you think? I keep breaking stuff, and I’ve missed some cobwebs in corners, and once, I even tracked ashes through his library.” She sank down on the chair, her stomach churning. “He’s going to send me back to the human realm, isn’t he?”
She’d be in danger there, defenseless, easy prey for angel-hating demons and True Fallen who made it a sport to drag Unfallen into Sheoul. Even worse, she’d lose Lilliana as a friend. And she’d never see Hades again. At least, not until she died and came back to the Inner Sanctum as a soul waiting to be reincarnated.
Groaning, she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. She could lose everything, and wasn’t that a laugh given how little she actually had. Feeling suddenly very vulnerable, she wished herself new clothes that covered everything. She didn’t even mind the suffocating feeling of having so much skin hidden. Right now, the clothing was much-needed armor.
“He’s not punishing you,” Hades said, his gaze fixed somewhere
outside.
“How do you know? Obviously I’ve angered him somehow.”
“Trust me, if he was angry with you, you’d know.” He shook his head. “No, Cat, this isn’t about you. It’s about me.” Reaching up, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m the one he’s punishing. All females in Sheoul-gra are off limits to me, including servants and his daughters. And trust me, when the Grim Reaper tells you his daughters are off limits...you listen. I looked at one of them too long, and he impaled me. Big stick right up the ass and out of the top of my skull. I still pucker when I think about it.” His tone was light, breezy, as if his pain was no big deal, but when his gaze caught hers, she sucked in a harsh breath at the sadness there. “I want you, Cat, and if all it would cost me was a pointy stick up the ass, I’d pay that price. But it wouldn’t stop there. And I don’t know what price you’d have to pay, as well.”
Stunned by his admission, she just sat there, unsure what to say. All she knew was that Hades wanted her after all, and that should have made her happy, but the only thing it did was make her miserable.
* * * *
So much for playing it cool.
Hades felt like a total jackass. He shouldn’t have said anything about his punishment, about wanting Cat, about anything at all. The only way he stayed sane was to let everything slide off him like lava rolled off a Gargantua.
He wondered if the owners of this hut had alcohol stored somewhere. He could use a drink. Or ten.
“Hades?”
He gazed out the window at the lily pad-choked pond out back and braced himself for a bunch of pity. “What?”
“Is that why you live in the Inner Sanctum? Because Azagoth doesn’t want you to be tempted or something?”
“Nope.” He watched a crowd of people tossing a ball around in a nearby yard. He hated this place. It was too...human. Too bright and cheery. It reminded him that his life was all gloom and doom and asshole demons.
“So you choose to live in the Sanctum? In what’s little more than a hovel?”
He turned back to her, drawing a quick, surprised breath at her clothes. While he’d been looking out the window, she’d changed into tights and a long-sleeved, form-fitting T-shirt. There were even socks on her feet. Since her skin was a gauge for good and evil, she must not want to feel those things. She must not want to feel him.
Not that he blamed her, but he still felt a pinch of hurt that made his voice sharper than he’d intended. “What, you were expecting a palace?”
She stared. “You live in a crypt and sleep in a coffin. They make these things called beds now.”
What a joke. “Azagoth limits my comforts. You know what I miss most about that? Peanut butter. And chocolate. Limos introduced me to them when they first appeared on the human scene, you know? I always raid Azagoth’s kitchen while I’m on that side, but usually I fill up on shit like pizza and Doritos.”
Cat had been reaching for a miniature wooden arrow on the shelf next to her, but now she froze, her brows cranked down in confusion. “Azagoth won’t even let you bring decent food to your place?”
“Oh, he will. He just won’t help me get it. I have to call in favors. Or blackmail people. Limos brought me gelato once, but it was melted by the time Azagoth let it through.”
Cat gasped. “That’s awful.”
He laughed. “It was gelato. Hardly a global disaster.”
“Azagoth is an asshole,” she snapped. He probably shouldn’t love that she was angry on his behalf. “Why is he doing all of this to you?”
“Long story.”
She picked up the arrow and gently stroked her fingers over the smooth surface. “Well, we don’t have much else to do while we’re waiting for the Orphmage to give up the human.”
He could think of a lot of things they could do. If he wasn’t forbidden by Azagoth to do them.
Anger and frustration threatened to boil over. He’d put up with Azagoth’s asshattery for thousands of years, but now...now it felt like he was at a crossroads, at a place where he couldn’t stand it anymore. Hadn’t he paid for his sins for long enough?
Growling to himself, he stormed out of the bedroom and searched the hut for liquor. Soft footsteps followed him, but he ignored Cat as he popped the cork out of a clay jug of what smelled like extremely potent bloodwine.
Cat drifted into his peripheral vision as she checked out the knickknacks on the walls. Demons loved their wood and bone carvings. “So how did you end up here, anyway?”
He chugged a few swallows of the tart bloodwine, relishing the hot tingle as it burned its way down his throat. “You’re a fallen angel, too. You know all about dirty laundry.”
A wisp of pink swept across her cheeks. “My fall wasn’t entirely my fault.”
“You’re still going with that story, huh?”
Her chin lifted. “It’s true. I told you how it happened.”
He snorted. “And Seminus demons hate sex.”
She snatched the jug from him and took a swig. He had to hide an amused smile when she coughed. “So you own your fall?” she wheezed as she sat down at the kitchen table.
“Yup.” He took back the jug. “I fucked up royally.” He brought the container to his lips, pausing to say, “You really want to hear this? You want to know how I got here?”
At her nod, he lowered the jug. He hadn’t told anyone this. It wasn’t that he gave a crap who knew. It was just that he never really talked to anyone. Not about himself or his life. This was new, and he wasn’t sure it was a good thing.
Finally, he propped his hip on the table edge. “When I was still an angel, my job was to process new humans arriving in Heaven after they died on Earth. It was boring as shit, and every time someone came through who had been slaughtered by another human, it pissed me off. So I started spending my time in the human realm, stopping sinners before they committed sins.”
“Stopping them? How?”
“At first, I caused distractions. Earthquakes, sudden rainstorms, swarms of mosquitoes, whatever it took. Then I came across some vile bastard in the act of raping a young woman. I didn’t think, didn’t pause. I flash-fried him with a lightning bolt. And the weird thing is, I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt. I knew I was going to be punished because, with very few exceptions, angels aren’t supposed to kill humans.”
He expected her to show some revulsion, but she merely propped her elbows on the table and leaned forward like a kid hearing a bedtime story. “Did you? Get punished, I mean?”
He shook his head. “Nope. Guess no one was paying attention. So the next time I found an evil human committing an atrocity, I whacked him. Damn, it felt good.” So. Fucking. Good. “And that’s where it all went wrong.”
“Ah,” she murmured. “You liked to kill.”
Damn straight, he had. “It didn’t take long before I wasn’t just killing evil humans, but bad humans.” There was a difference, a very important difference. Evil couldn’t be repaired. Couldn’t be forgiven. But bad could. “I made no distinction between those who were evil and those who were just assholes. I felt the need to punish, and I was made bolder by the fact that I didn’t get caught. Not until I went after a son of a bitch who was famous for his torture methods. Turned out that he was Primori.”
“Primori are people whose existence is crucial in some way,” she mused, and then her eyes shot wide. “Which means he had a Memitim angel to protect him. And all Memitim...”
“Are Azagoth’s children,” he finished.
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah.” He took another healthy swig from the jug. “The Memitim dude came out of nowhere, and we got into a nasty fight that ended with him dead.”
“What did you do?”
Despite the fact that this had taken place over five thousand years ago, Hades’s gut sank the way it had way back then when he’d realized what he’d done. He’d killed a fellow angel. Nearly killed a Primori. And worse, he hadn’t cared all that much. His concern had been for himself, and for thousands of y
ears, nothing had changed.
Until now. Now his greatest concern was making sure Cat was safe. His own fate was unimportant.
“I knew I’d get caught,” he said, “so I ran for a while. Lost myself in the human population. But my parents were both professors of Angelic Ethics, and I’d had their teachings drilled into me since birth, so when the angels started closing in, I figured I’d earn points for turning myself in voluntarily.” He curled his lip. “Turns out, not so much. I was relieved of my wings, but instead of being given a new name and booted out of Heaven, I was handed over to Azagoth.”
At first, he’d thought the archangels’s decision to let him keep his name and send him to Azagoth had been done purely to make the Grim Reaper happy, but once the Biblical prophecy tying him to the Four Horsemen appeared, he understood that he was meant for more than just being Azagoth’s plaything.
Not that being a Biblical legend had helped him avoid pain. At all.
“Wow.” Cat’s already pale skin went a shade paler, making her freckles stand out on her nose and cheeks. “I’m shocked that he didn’t kill you.”
“Azagoth doesn’t kill people.” Hades reconsidered that. “Mostly. He’s a big fan of eternal torment.” No, Azagoth didn’t take the easy way when it came to revenge. Or justice. He definitely wasn’t the forgiving sort. “He needed someone to run the Inner Sanctum, so he gave me wings and power, making me the only Unfallen in history to be able to enter Sheoul without becoming a True Fallen.” He smiled bitterly. “But he also made it his mission to make my life a living hell. And for thousands of years, he did.”
She sat back in her chair, her lips pursed in thought. “Is your living situation part of that?”
“Yup.” He shrugged. “He’s only recently started letting me out of the Inner Sanctum for short periods of time. It’s only been in the last fifty years or so that he allowed me to have luxuries from the outside if I can get anyone to bring them to me.”
“Like the ice cream Limos brought you.”
The pity creeping into Cat’s voice made his jaw tighten. “Yeah.”