“Yes?” She tilted her head a fraction.
“Something has been weighing on my mind these past three years. A question that I hope you might provide the answer to.”
“Oh.” Her eyes narrowed, thick lashes shading them from his view. “What might that be?”
He leaned forward, his hands on his thighs. “The last time I saw you, you acted as if I were a stranger.”
A pained expression overtook her features and she nodded.
“Why?” Lewis asked, his voice barley audible.
Her cheeks bloomed a delicate pink and he almost regretted asking her. Not because he didn’t wish for the answer, but because he hadn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, I did—”
“No.” She shook her head. “You have a right to know.” She meet his stare and sighed. “After you left England. The first time, after my parents ball.” She cast her gaze to the carriage floor and inhaled a deep breath.
Lewis watched the rise and fall of her breast as silence stretched out between them. He wanted to push her. To demand she go on, but could plainly see that she required time to gather her words. When he could no longer take the silence, he reached for her hand. “Grace.”
She brought her warm brown eyes back to his, moister gathering in their corners. “I did what I had to do…not what I wanted to do.”
Lewis gave a gentle squeeze, his large hand blanketing hers.
“Whenever your name came up…” She shook her head, her voice cracking. “It was simply to much to bare. I couldn’t… Before long nobody spoke of you, or us. Not even your sister.”
By the time Amelia was born, his courtship with Grace would have been a long ago memory. His chest squeezed. Had it truly been that easy for Grace to erase him from her life? Was she embarrassed over their past? He searched her gaze hurt clamping onto his heart.
“And you wish…” Miss Eliza stirred, and he swallowed back the rest of his words not wanting them to be over heard. He glanced at the woman as she stretched and opened her eyes, then locked his gaze back on Grace.
She peeked out the window then asked, “are we to procure rooms for the night?”
Lewis leaned back against the seat. “My coachman has been instructed to find lodging before night falls.”
“Very good.” Her eyes locked on his and she mouthed the words: I’ll come to you.
Chapter 3
Eliza’s light snore filled the chamber as Gerace slipped out of bed. She froze when her companion wriggled beneath the covers, then breathed a sigh of relief when she settled back into slumber. It was not so much that she feared Eliza discovering what she was about to do as it was that she didn’t want to explain her past with Lewis—not when she herself hadn’t come to terms with it. As for scandal, Grace was far from proper and Eliza well understood that about her.
All the same, it was best to avoid stirring up the gossips. Being a duchess as well as a widow afforded her some freedom and more than her share of forgiveness, but even she wasn’t entirely above societies rules.
She crossed the room then pulled on her wrapper before going to the mirror. The moons light provided just enough of a glow for her to inspect herself. She pinched a bit of color into her cheeks and ran a brush through her hair. If she had time to do more, she would, but she had no wish to wake Eliza. Her current state would have to do. She tiptoed to the door and grasped the handle.
Her heart beat a staccato as she stepped into the hallway of the coaching inn. Excitement and nerves stirring within her. The hour was late so nobody should be about. Still there remained a chance someone would spot her. But the anticipation of being near Lewis—in private—had her more worked up than the risk of discovery ever could.
She took careful, measured steps staying close to the wall as she made her way down the darkened corridor. One, two, three…she counted the doors she passed all the while watching for his room number. A smile stretched her lips when she stopped in front of room twenty-six. She inhaled a deep breath then rapped softly on the door.
Grace waited with her heart in her throat, then rapped on the door again and waited some more. Had he already gone to sleep? Did he not wish to see her? Perhaps he’d not been able to tell what she’d mouthed earlier. Or maybe he simply didn’t care. Her shoulders slumped, excitement cooling as she pivoted ready to return to her room.
Before she could take a step, Lewis grasped her elbow and pulled her into his room, the door clicking shut in her wake. Her pulse speed—not in fear, but in pure excitement. It had been a lifetime since she’d last been alone with him.
He held her tight, her back pressed against his muscular body as he whispered in her ear, “I didn’t think you would come.”
The whisper of his breath on her skin sent a shiver of pleasure through her. She longed to turn in his arms. To find his lips with hers and forget everything that had come between them. But that wasn’t why she’d come to him. Grace stepped out of his embrace and turned to face him. “I owe you answers.”
Lewis sat in a chair near the window, his gaze on her as she moved to take the chair opposite his. “You owe me nothing. All the same I am curious.”
Grace arranged her wrapper, draping it over her legs to cover her nightshift. Lewis had taken her by surprise when he’d asked earlier, making it hard for her to find her words. Now that she’d had hours to reflect on the past and her behaviors, she was more than ready to discuss things from the past. In fact, she had a question of her own. But that could wait.
She meet his curious green stair and gave a small grin. “By the time Amelia was born, our past had been forgotten by most and wasn’t discussed by anyone who remembered it. You were in America and I was soundly wed. There was no reason to tell Amelia anything about you and I.”
Lewis gave a nod of understanding, but Grace recognized hurt in the depth of his eyes.
“I figured you would say something if you wished for her to know. When you didn’t make our acquaintance known, I assumed it was what you wanted and played along.”
“I have never been embarrassed about you, Grace,” Lewis said, her name sliding off his tongue like warm honey.
“Nor have I been over you.” Grace leaned forward, hoping to emphasize what she had to say next. “Though, I have been over the way we ended.”
Lewis reached for her hand, clasping it in his and leaned closer. “You did what you felt you had to do.” His gaze searched hers. “I may not have agreed, and certainly never understood, but I do know that you never intended to hurt anyone.”
“Least of all you,” Grace said, her mind going back to that night in the garden and his pained expression as she’d broken their courtship.
“Tell me. Did you love him?”
“I loved you.” Grace pulled her hand free and stood. She paced to the far corner, before glancing back. “I never would have married him if not for my parents insistence that it was the only way to save the family from ruin.”
Lewis made his way to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. He stared at her with an intensity that threatened to melt her. “I would have saved you.”
“You didn’t have the means to.” Grace shuddered, fighting the urge to sink against him.
He winced at her words, his hold on her tightening. “I would have found a way.”
“Perhaps you would have.” She sighed. “Maybe I should have trusted you. Believed enough in us to fight for our love.”
Lewis released her, this arms dropping to his sides. “Everything would have been so different.”
Grace had lived a thousand fantasies of what life could have been. She’d always longed for Lewis and mourned what could have been. Still, she’d had a good life. One that she would mourn as deeply as the lose of Lewis if it were suddenly taken from her. She nodded. “Yes, so very different.”
Guilt crashed into her as she stared into Lewis’s eyes. It seemed as though she were dishonoring her past and the life she’d been given by her husband. Like she was besmirching his
good name. Stomping on all the joy and love they had come to share. She didn’t wish to cause further hurt, but lewis had to know the whole truth.
“I am lucky, for I have loved and been loved by two men.” She drew in a deep breath as Lewis’s stair intensified. “I did not tell you a falsehood. At the time of my marriage, my heart belonged only to you. However, over time, I came to love the duke and he cherished me. We had two daughter’s together and more happy moments then I can recall. For that, I will always feel blessed.”
Lewis closed his eyes, brining his hand up to massage the back of his neck.
She watched him, her heart in her throat as she waited for him to say something—anything at all—but he remained as he was. Unable to stand the silence, Grace placed her hand on his chest, and said, “Lewis.”
Several more heartbeats ticked by before he slowly opened his eyes.
Grace cupped his face in her hands and stared deep into his gaze hoping to convey all she felt. “I always loved you, but I loved him too. How could I not after all we’d shared?”
“Those experiences should have belonged to us.” Lewis turned, causing her hands to leave his face, then strolled over to the window. With his back to her, he said, “You can see yourself out.”
She took a step toward him desperate to make him understand, then pivoted and made haste for the door. Now wasn’t the time to force herself on him. He needed time and space just as she had. She’d grant him both.
At least for tonight.
Chapter 4
Lewis had a devil of a time sleeping last night after Grace left his room. Her words kept repeating in his mind as he tossed and turned. The few times he managed to drift off, he dreamed of her and soon reawakened. At first light he went to the public room for breakfast and unashamedly had a splash of strong spirits added to his tea.
Grace and Miss Eliza entered the public room as he was finishing his meal and soon after they departed. He’d hoped the liquor would help him to sleep as they travelled, but was being to accept that it wasn’t going to be the case. He cracked his eyes open enough to spy Grace sitting across from him.
Other than the rhythmic stroking of her pet, Grace hadn’t moved in the hours since they left the inn. Miss Eliza had been rather quiet and still as well. Other than some occasional inconsequential chatter, Jasmine’s purring had been the only real noise within the carriage. Even now the tiger laid with its head flopped onto Grace’s blue skirts, a loud purr radiating from deep within the cat.
Did Grace find some comfort in the animals attentions? Lewis glanced between her and the animal. When his gaze landed on Jasmine, her eyes seemed to spark with interest. Lewis could not say what possessed him to do such a thing, but at that moment he he scratched his nails across his trousers making an enticing noise for the cat.
Jasmine’s ears perked up and twitched for a moment before the beast of a cub stood. In an instant she was leaping from the seat she’d shared with Grace to the one he sat on.
“Jasmine, no,” Grace called, reaching for her pet.
Lewis reached out a hand and began scratching behind Jasmine’s ear. “She’s perfectly fine with me.” The cat settled on his lap with a crushing weight, its loud purr filling the carriage once more.
Grace settled back against the seat, her lips pressed in a tight line.
Lewis fought the grin pulling at his lips. Good, let her stew for awhile. The two of them were acting like petulant children, but at the moment he couldn’t help himself. He took his attention from Grace and placed it firmly on Jasmine. The cats fur massaged his hand as he stroked its back and head. There was an odd comfort in the animals weight baring down on his thighs and the rhythmic humming of its pleasure. Before long his eyes grew heavy, his mind relaxed, and he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.
Lewis could not say how long he’d slept, but when he woke he felt rested. He searched for the animal, patting the seat beside him before he opened his eyes. Grace and Miss Eliza were eating bread and jam, a wider basket between them, and Jasmine had abandoned him at some point to return her mistresses side.
“I trust you rested well, Mr. Duffield?” Miss Eliza asked.
Lewis ignored the urge to reach for the basket as his stomach rumbled. “Indeed I did. How long was I asleep?”
“Hours.” Grace popped a bite of something into Jasmine’s salvaging mouth.
Lewis glanced out the carriage window, noting the sagging sun. “Shall we stop for dinner?”
Grace plucked an apple from the basket. “The tree of us are content to wait until we stop for the night.”
“As you wish.” Lewis nodded, wanting to pilfer through their basket, but unwilling to give Grace the satisfaction. He crossed his legs at the ankles, and reclined back against the seat, his gaze trained on the ladies.
Miss Eliza stared at Grace for a long moment then shifted her gaze to the basket and back. When Grace did naught, Miss Eliza turned to him. “Mr. Duffield, may I prepare some toast and jam for you? Or Perhaps a chicken sandwich?”
“A sandwich would be appreciated. So long as Her grace doesn’t object.”
“Of course I don’t,” Grace said, her words clipped, then she turned her attention back to feeding Jasmine.
Miss Eliza assembled the sandwich without paying anymore mind to Grace. Surely the woman had noticed a change in the way her mistress and he were behaving. Lewis could not help but wonder at what was running through Miss Eliza’s mind. Had Grace told her companion about their past? Did the woman know that they’d been together last night?
Perhaps this had all gone too far. He turned his gaze on Grace, hoping to catch her attention. She must have felt his stare because after a few moments, she meet his gaze and frowned. Before he could attempt to convey anything, she returned her attention to Jasmine.
“Mr. Duffield.” Miss Eliza held a plate out to him with the sandwich and some fruit on it.
He smiled. “Thank you for your kindness.”
Lewis turned his attention to the food, eating his fill before handing the dish back to Miss Eliza. After he did his best to remain quiet and ignore Grace. When they eventually stopped for the night, he booked two rooms and escaped into the solitude of his.
Lewis swirled the whiskey in his tumbler as he sat near the window staring out into the black night. He wished he could go to Grace—longed to talk to her and apologize for his behavior today. He’d allowed his wounded pride and past hurts to cloud his judgment.
In retrospect he should be pleased that he’d gotten answers from her. For years he’d tormented himself wondering at the past, and now, despite the pain her words caused, he understood why she’d done as she had.
He tipped the tumbler against his lips taking a deep swallow of the whiskey. If only he could drink enough to wash her from his soul. With a sigh he reached for the decanter about to refill his glass when a rapping sounded at the door.
Perhaps Grace had come to him. His pulse speed at the thought as he made his way across the room, then flung the door open. A short lived euphoria for it was not Grace but an inn worker.
“Good evening, sir.” The lad bowed.
Lewis did his best to appear pleasant as he meet the lads gaze. “What has brought you to my room?”
“Mistress sent me to see if you require a fire for the evening?”
The temperature had cooled considerably since night fall, but Lewis didn’t find it cool enough to warrant a fire. “That won’t be necessary. Thank you.”
“Good night, sir.” The lad gave another bow then turned to continue down the hall.
Lewis glanced in the opposite direction to where Grace’s door stood. Had she requested a fire? An image of her seated before the hearth, firelight reflecting off her long silken hair and creamy skin came to mind and his groin tightened.
Before he could do anything so foolish as knocking on her door, he retreated back into his room and the comfort of strong drink. But before he could retrieve his tumbled, someone rapped at his door.
“Are you planning to leave me out here all night?” She asked, a playful grin tugging at her lush lips.
Recovering his senses, he stepped aside. “Come in.”
She breezed past him, her wrapper fluttering out around her legs to reveal her sheer nightdress. “I had to see you.”
He closed the door behind her, his blood roaring in his ears as he turned to her.
“You see, I have a question as well.”
He quirked one eyebrow. “Do, go on.”
Her spine stiffened as she studied him. “Why didn’t you come for me?”
What the devil was she talking about? He stepped closer to her. “When?”
“After my husband passed away. Once my mourning period was done? I waited for you, expected you, but you never came.”
The words knocked the air from his lungs. He stared at her for a long moment before he found his voice. “How was I supposed to know you wanted me to?”
She brushed off his question and continued. “Then at Amelia’s. I thought you would reclaim me, but you didn’t.”
“You acted as if we were strangers, and now you tell me that you’d wanted me to claim you. Have you any idea how ridiculous that sounds?” He turned away to face the window. “All of my life, I’ve dreamed of you.”
“I’m right here.” Her delicate hands came down on his shoulders as she stepped around him. “Lewis, I never stopped loving you.”
He brought his lips to hers in a punishing kiss. His mind swirling with lust and anger, but also with love and joy as he plundered her sweet mouth. Grace moaned, a sweet throaty sound, as he trailed kisses down her neck.
Scandalous Liaison Page 3