by Anne Key
“So, what do you want to do about your birthday party? It’s in two weeks and it is a relatively big one, yes?”
“What? I’m having a birthday? Are you sure?” Eighteen. Christ.
“I was there when it happened, so yeah. I’m pretty damned sure.”
I grin at her, roll my eyes. “You’re never going to let that go, are you? Poor, poor pregnant mom.”
“Poor hugely pregnant mom with your two-year-old brother hanging on my arm as I waited for your sperm donor to get home from the bar.”
“Totally not my fault.” I grab the toast from the oven and hand two pieces to Mom.
“No. No, the contractions, though? Totally your fault. The way you wouldn’t wait? Again, all on you. Hell, the fact that you were delivered on a Faubourg Marigny apartment floor by an old Creole witch that smelled of gumbo? I blame you.”
God, I love this story. “A witch?”
“Stringy wild hair, a gold tooth, and a mole on the side of her face that was shaped like Florida, I swear to God. She heard me screaming and Benny crying and came in, wearing nothing but a pair of cutoffs and an LSU bikini top.”
“You don’t remember that….”
“Say I don’t, girl! I remember everything that happened on the days my babies came!” She pushes a chair out so I can sit with my egg and toast. “Amy! Get up, child. Your sister cooked your breakfast. Now, where was I?”
“LSU bikini top.” Now she’ll talk about how I had a voodoo birth.
“Right, my little voodoo baby, born with this old broad chanting away.”
I crack up, because Mom starts doing her voodoo impersonation, which is funny as all fuck and Amy comes out all messy and grr. “What are you doing?”
Mom takes a puff. “Asking your sister about her birthday party. Come eat.”
For the first time I don’t know what to do—I want Kaylee to be there and Brant and Meaghan and everyone, but Kaylee doesn’t know about Meaghan. Nobody does but Brant, and he sucks at keeping his mouth all the way shut.
I wish I could have two parties.
“Let me think about it. I don’t want something big.”
Mom gives me a look, her head tilting. “You and Kaylee have a fight?”
“What?”
“You’ve just… usually you’re never here. Hell, I think you’ve slept at home more in the last three months than you have in the last five years, and she’s never over here at all anymore. You two get into it?”
“No. No, she’s busy, mostly. Cheering and school and Steve.” And I have someone else to hang with. Someone that likes me and softball and making out in the car.
“Ah. Do you like Steve?”
I shrug. “He’s okay for a guy, I guess. He’s real religious.”
One eyebrow arches. “Aren’t you seeing the preacher’s boy? Y’all go out twice a week, you know….”
Yeah, but Brant’s not religious and we’re not dating.
“That’s different.”
“Different how?”
“Just different. God, Mom, don’t nag.” Because I don’t know how to tell her about me and Meaghan.
“Okay, okay. Not nagging, I swear.” She holds her hands up and almost sets her bangs on fire with the cherry on her cigarette. “Just think about your party, okay? I’d like to give you one with all your friends.”
“That’s totally cool. I will; I promise.” I throw away what’s left of my breakfast. “I’m going to run to school, okay? I’ll see you.”
“Love you, creepy teenager.”
“Love you, nagging momster.”
I kiss her cheek and run. I need to….
I need to do everything. I need to hang with Kaylee, I need to do my pre-calc.
What I do, as soon as I’m in the Woody’s parking lot, is text Meaghan.
Miss u
ditto
Oh, she’s awake.
can i call
My phone rings in response. “Hey, baby girl. You okay?”
“Mom’s just being Mom, and things are… how am I going to tell her?”
“Maybe you could, like, introduce me? I’d like to meet her and when she sees I’m not a monster….”
“Okay.”
“What?”
“I’ll introduce you. When can you come out?”
“For reals? Like you really would?”
I know I’m shaking my head. I know it, but my mouth lies. “Sure.”
“Oh. Oh, man. Cool. I can come spend the night on Saturday, if that works.”
“Totally. Mom likes a late breakfast. We’ll go out. It’s a thing.”
She laughs and suddenly, weirdly, all is well. “A thing, huh? I like it. Should I bring a dress?”
“For breakfast with my mom?” Hardly. “We’ll be lucky if Amy remembers to brush her hair or if Ben wears pants that aren’t see-through.”
“Oh. Cool. Also, nasty.”
“Yeah, he’s a boy. He has the funk.”
I head over to the school, gather up all my shit, and finish my Coke. One more day closer to graduation, right? Right.
Someone taps on my window, scaring the living shit out of me. Shaundra is grinning like a monkey and I turn the car off. “I gotta go Meg. Hit me up later?”
“Always, baby.”
I hang up, and Shaundra is still all smiles, teeth huge and white as I open the door. Hell, she almost pounces me like I never see her anymore or something. “Girlfriend! Where you been?”
“Uh…. School?” Right? I have been attending classes, I know I have because I have homework. “School and work.”
“Right. School and work, except you’re like never anywhere but school and work and disappearing into nowhere. You haven’t posted on Tumblr in something like two million years. Kaylee isn’t tagging you anymore; it’s all ‘Steve Steve Stevie Steve big smoochies.’”
I can’t help the way my nose wrinkles and her eyes get huge in her face. “Y’all did break up. OMG. No shit? And you didn’t tell me?”
“We didn’t break up! We just…. We’re busy.”
“Walk with me.”
I grab my book bag and we start across the parking lot, and I have to walk a little slow because Shaundra doesn’t move so fast. It’s cool. In fact, it’s starting to get chilly, which is all about the yay.
I crack my own shit up.
“So, talk. It’s early and there ain’t no one here. ’Splain.”
“Explain what? I swear, we’re not fighting, me and Kaylee. She’s busy with cheer and Steve and shit. She’s talking about having to volunteer at the old folks’ home for school too. Like to get into UT and stuff.”
We’re not fighting.
We just haven’t talked.
“Do not bullshit me. Y’all have been in each other’s pockets for, like, your whole lives.”
“I’ve just been working.”
My phone buzzes, and thank God it’s not Meaghan. It’s Kaylee. “See? See, it’s her.”
Breakkie w me?
At school pmu?
pkg lot
nods
“We’re going to breakfast. See? Not. Broke. Up. Still besties.”
Shaundra rolls her eyes. “So, are you still going with that new kid?”
“Brant?”
Sort of.
Not really.
Like at all.
“Yeah.” God, Shaundra can put a whole lot of bitch in one syllable.
“He’s wicked cool. I like him a lot.” That isn’t a lie, at all. He’s a great friend and I love hanging out with him. We’re easy together. Safe and totally no pressure.
“Really?” Shaundra looks a little disappointed, honestly. “I didn’t think he was your type.”
“I have a type?”
Why does everyone on earth have an opinion on my type?
“Sure. Everyone has a type, right?”
“What’s yours?” We sit at the edge of the school where I know Kaylee can see us.
“Smart, sex-ay.”
�
�Uh-huh.” That isn’t a type. I know it isn’t. A type is brown hair and blue eyes and boobs.
A type is physical.
“And what type is Brant, then?”
“Real religious, for one. He’s got a shit-load of money.”
“His dad is a preacher.” He doesn’t actually preach for the money, that’s what the L-3 job’s for, but they’re not like crazy-loaded.
“You hang out with the rich kids. You can’t judge right.”
I’m staring at Shaundra and I know my mouth is hanging open like a landed fish’s. “What?”
“It ain’t no big thing, but look at Kaylee. She’s like loaded, and y’all are still friends….”
“Yeah, but that’s not part of it.” It’s never been a part of it for either one of us. I know that.
“Sure it is. There ain’t no way it can’t be. Just like I’ll always be your fat black friend and you’ll always be my scatbacked white friend.” She curls her lip, sneers a little. “We both know it’s like that, Charley.”
But I didn’t. I didn’t know that. I do now, 100 percent.
“I’ve never once called you fat. Not once.”
“What? Like I don’t know? You think I don’t know I’m fat?”
“What’s going on?” I don’t get it. I mean, at all. I’ve never worried about her being heavy. Of course she knows. She has a mirror.
“You suck, that’s what’s going on. You get yourself a boyfriend and suddenly you’re like your rich-bitch friend, better than us. Well, fuck you! You’re out of the club.”
“Are… what’s wrong with you? Did you, like, hit your head on a cabinet or something? Are your extensions too heavy, cutting off your blood supply?”
“Fuck you, bitch.”
She flips me off and storms off, and I’m still just standing there when Kaylee pulls up and honks. I damn near jump out of my skin and then hurry over to the passenger side. “Hey.”
“Hey. What were you doing?”
“Shaundra and I just had a big fight, I think. She’s real pissed at me.” And I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything. I know I didn’t do anything on purpose.
“She’s always pissed at someone.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t do nothing to her.”
“You got laid. That’s enough.”
“What?”
Okay, I’m in some alternate reality, right? That’s what happened. I woke up in a weird world where Mom wasn’t in bed, Meaghan’s spending the night, and I’m fighting with one of my oldest friends about something that didn’t happen with a dude I’m not dating.
“Everyone knows. It’s okay. It’s about time. Grandy’s or Starbucks?”
“Starbucks.” What the fuck?
“Cool. I hope they have those lemon-cake slices. Seems like I haven’t seen you in months and you’re never on Tumblr anymore. What’s up?”
“Nothing.” Everything. All of the things. “How’s you?”
“You know, Mom hates me, but she’s working all the time. Daddy loves me, but he’s working all the time. Steve’s cool. I’m going to have to cheer at basketball games and that means Thursday nights. You’re working, huh?”
“Yeah. I still got Fridays off.” And Brant and I totally go to Dallas. It’s cool to hang out and not worry.
“You don’t love basketball anyway.” Kaylee sighs. “Can you come over after school? It’s like I never see you. Is it going to be like this? I mean for always?”
“God, I hope not.” This whole thing is utterly exhausting, no shit. Do I tell Kaylee about Meaghan? Do I tell Mom? What about Brant? Shaundra? I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Kaylee cracks up. “I know, right?”
We pull into the Starbucks parking lot and get in line. Caramel macchiato? Mocha? No, totally a caramel. Meaghan likes chais. I like how Meaghan’s lips taste after a chai.
“What are you going to get, Charley?”
“I don’t know. A chai maybe?” So I can feel a little closer to her.
“You don’t like hot tea, derp. You want a scone?”
“Yeah. Those are cool.” I like lots of things now that I’d been scared to try before. Sushi. Hot tea. Dancing in public. Girls.
I order a small caramel macchiato and Kaylee gets a vanilla Frappuccino, which is basically a vanilla milk shake. “No coffee?”
“Not today. You want to sit? We have time.”
“If I can do my homework, sure. I totally forgot to finish it last night.” A total lie. I was setting up a new Tumblr with a new name so I could follow the guys from Dallas. Brant has a fake name too; he showed me how.
“No probs.” She finds us a table, which just shows how damn magic she is. I mean, seriously, who else could do that?
I sit down and start working the stupid problems. At least there’s only five. “So, what have you been doing?”
“Hanging with Steve, mostly, I guess. I met his mom; she’s sweet, clueless, but sweet.”
“What about his dad?”
“He’s okay, I guess. I don’t see him much. Have you met Brant’s folks?”
“Nope.” I can just see that. Hey, Mr. Preacher, I’m Brant’s beard. How are you? Christian? Uh. There was a voodoo priestess that delivered me….
Of course, it’s bound to happen. Brant’s still dead set on getting the hell out of Dodge like the day after graduation.
“Ah. Steve says they’re both assholes. You guys want to go out tonight for Halloween?”
Not really. I don’t even have a costume. “Let me ask Brant. Maybe. Where?”
“We were talking about grabbing some Taco Bueno and heading to the Junction, be in their costume contest, but we’re easy.”
“I’ll see what he wants to do.” I’m sort of hoping for sitting in the coffee shop and texting a lot. “What are you dressing up as?”
“We’re going as a lion tamer and a kitten. A bunch of us ordered matching costumes and we’re going to be, like, a circus.”
“Yeah, so you’re already going with a bunch of people.” So much reason to go, not.
“Only for the contest, and then we’re splitting up, you know. It’s just a group thing.”
“I get it. I’ll see what Brant wants, but I wasn’t thinking about dressing up and I might have to take Amy around. I don’t know.” Hell, Amy is too big to go trick-or-treating. She wants to stay at the house and give out Tootsie Rolls.
“Cool. So… you’re not, like, pissed at me, right?”
“What? Why does everyone keep asking me that? I’m not pissed at anyone!” I’m just trying to keep my fucking head above water.
“You’ve changed. You’re all unreachable.”
OMG, the horror. Except, it’s not. I’m not, I just… I have a new life.
A different life.
“I’ve just been super busy. Rehab, work, stuff—you know. It’s not like you’re sitting at home waiting for me to call.”
“No, that’s totally true. Totes. I just… I guess I’m used to you being at home waiting for me. I got spoiled.”
That’s probably the smartest thing I’ve ever heard Kaylee say.
“That’s you, spoiled brat.” I’m going for teasing. Hopefully it works.
“Yeah, yeah. Have you gained weight?”
“Oh, yeah. I’m, like, massive and stuff.” Hey, I’m having regular periods, at least. The mess sucks, but it sort of feels like somewhere I’m becoming more normal rather than less.
“Huge. God, I love these shakes. It’s crazy.”
I nod, even though I don’t care for them. God, I do that all the damned time. I should stop, say, “I don’t like them. I don’t like boys. I don’t like lying to you. I want you to meet my girlfriend and like her.”
I’m not going to, but I want to.
“So, you’ll text about tonight, huh?”
“Sure. I just gotta make sure Brant hasn’t made plans. He’s a planner, like me.”
That’s not a lie. Brant has everything planned out, every little lie organi
zed so that nobody catches us. Good thing he practices. A lot.
“Lord, just what this universe needs. Two people like you.” Kaylee’s laughing at me and that’s okay, I guess.
Whatever. None of this matters anyway. Meaghan wants to meet my mom.
“SHE’S COMING over to meet my mom.” Brant and I are sitting in the park, swinging under the moon. We played miniature golf, ate a couple orders of onion rings, and now we’re just avoiding the inevitable going home. It has been the perfect Halloween.
“No shit? You coming out?”
“I don’t know. She wants me to.” I don’t know if I want to.
“Just be careful, huh? If you do, it could be rough.”
Or it could be good, right? My mom’s cool and so’s Ben. Amy doesn’t even care, I don’t think.
“Yeah, I know.”
“I can’t believe I took you to Dallas and you’re the one that hooked up.” Brant rolls his eyes at me, sticks out his tongue. “Evil bitch.”
“I know, right? I’m a ho.”
“Oh, sweetie, you’re like the least whorish person ever.” Brant reaches over, takes my hand and the swings start twisting, going a little wild and we both start cracking up as our legs bang together. “Okay, so that’s way less romantic than in the movies….”
“You think they practice?”
“Shit,” he answers. “I think they have mechanical swings.”
“How do you do it? Keep all the secrets?” I need to know. This is so hard.
“I have you. I’d go crazy otherwise.”
“Oh.” Yeah, I can see that. Brant’s the only one I’m not really making shit up with.
He shoots me a quick grin. “That’s your cue to say, I’ve got your back, man.”
“Is it?” Asshole.
“Yeah.”
“You’re a bitch.” We laugh again, just swinging away, hoodies unzipped, open. There’s a storm coming, and it’s making the air heavy, thick. Quiet.
“It’s super fucking hot for Halloween,” he says and I nod, although he’s from Houston and ought to know about heat indexes.
“Do you remember the hurricane down there?” I barely remember seeing it on the TV.
“Yeah, my mom and me, we went to stay at my Aunt Patty’s in Albuquerque while Dad stayed in Houston. It was just like a vacation more than anything.”