On the twilight of Noctis De Celestia, Aslaug brought a small decanter of Sanguis with two crystal goblets and a hearty meal to my chamber. She had bathed me in fragrant water and helped me dress in a gown of lavender silk earlier that afternoon. The tiny crystals on the skirt of the gown caught the candlelight and twinkled shades of pink, blue, and green.
I watched Aslaug pour the red Sanguis into the delicate crystal. “I can’t believe it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death.”
“She didn’t die on the night of our goddess.” Aslaug frowned, passing me a tiny goblet. “She died after, on her way home.”
I accepted the Sanguis, but I didn’t drink. “I know, but this night will always remind me of the last time I saw her.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve thought of that. It was unthoughtful of me to think you’d wish to celebrate this night.”
“No.” I lifted my glass. “Tonight, I’d like to celebrate the memory of Queen Ingrid. I’m sure Celestia won’t mind sharing her night—seeing as how she took her from me.”
Aslaug lifted her goblet too and clinked it against mine. “To Queen Ingrid, and to Celestia. May we thank them both for their love.”
I gulped back the Sanguis and then reached for the plate of cooked beets and meat pies.
“I wonder if my mother could’ve done anything about my situation, if she’d still been alive,” I pondered, scraping the last of the crumbs from my plate.
“I’m sure she could’ve. She was queen. You’re father would’ve had no say.”
I set down my fork and poured the both of us more Sanguis. “I’m not sure she would’ve had a say either. She warned me when I was a child to never let my father know about my power. If he told the kingdom, they could’ve insisted I be locked up… or worse, they could’ve asked for my head.”
Aslaug’s golden brows rose. “Your mother knew about your power? You knew you had power?”
“I found out when I was thirteen. And yes, my mother saw me accidently use my power the first time it’d shown itself. She protected me from… well, from this fate.”
Aslaug sipped at her Sanguis, contemplating. “I don’t believe she would’ve let your father, or the kingdom, tell her what to do when it came to you.”
I lifted my shoulder. I wished it were true, but I knew better. “She may not have had a choice. Riots are destructive to a kingdom, a lesson I learned early on in my tutoring.” I finished my Sanguis and set the goblet down.
“You would’ve made a good queen.”
I left the table and picked up my violin. “We’ll never know.”
I glided the bow across the strings, playing a song I remembered from my childhood. It was a beautifully sad song my mother used to sing to me and Star about eternal love existing beyond death. I hummed along with the strings.
Aslaug watched, her face softening with serenity.
I closed my eyes and let the music sweep me away. I remembered my mother’s face, the love overflowing in her warm heart. The music built and built, flowing like an eternal wave. I poured my heart and soul into the piece, forgetting for a moment I was the princess locked in a tower.
I finished the song and opened my eyes to find Aslaug’s azure eyes bright and filled with tears. “That was… I have no words,” she breathed.
I placed the violin back against the wall. “My mother used to sing it to us as children.”
“You played it perfectly.”
My lips twitched. “Why didn’t you go to visit your family?”
A haunted look crossed her face, and I regretted asking. “I don’t have any family, not really. I never knew my father. My mother raised me in Terra. I lived with her there until she died. I took what little coin my mother had left me and came here. I was curious about my heritage. Queen Ingrid, your mother, gave me the position of handmaid, to which I’m very grateful for.”
“Do you ever wonder about your father?” I asked.
“No, he abandoned us when I was still in my mother’s womb. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead too.”
I decided she was brave. She’d left her home all on her own and succeeded in obtaining a position in the coldest kingdom of all.
I placed a hand over hers and looked into her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
She pulled her hand away. “Thank you. I guess it doesn’t matter if you’re a princess or a maid. Death takes from us all.”
“Indeed, it does.”
We finished the night with lighter conversation of warm childhood memories, and when she left me well past the middle of the night; I sat down on the corner of my bed and lit a tall white candle. I watched the wick burn, gazing into the orange flame. The wax began to melt, and I thought of my mother. Though I still grieved her every day, the pain had faded. The memory of her brought a smile to my heart now instead of a stab of sorrow. This night, though… this night was difficult.
“Mother,” I whispered into the flame. “I’m alive, like you wanted. I’m trying to be happy for you.”
There was no answer, of course.
My gaze shifted to the full moon lighting my window. “Maybe you could ask Celestia to aid me in escaping this tower someday.”
The flame danced as though a breeze caressed its golden warmth.
My lips curled upward. Maybe she could hear me.
Or maybe Celestia herself answered my call.
I let the candle burn through the night. When I awoke, it had burned out.
The days went back to melding together after Noctis. Aslaug snatched some cards for us to play. We gambled with dried berries, pretending to be explorers with gold coins. I asked for materials to knit with once I bored of painting.
Seasons passed without me taking much notice. The length of days were my only sign as to which season it was, and without being able to go outside, I didn’t pay much attention.
I spent each Noctis with Aslaug, or rather, she spent it with me. I always lit a candle for my mother on the night of our goddess and thanked Celestia for my life, sad as it was.
I grew to accept my fate in the tower. Aslaug’s company made it easier. I would’ve likely gone insane if I’d had to remain there alone. I didn’t think Pavanas had been given the gift of companionship when she’d been condemned for her magic. The elemental queen had done harm to her people though. I’d only used mine to throw my sister out of my chambers and then to try to escape. If I’d used my power to destroy half of my kingdom, I doubt Aslaug would’ve asked to care for me. So, I tried to remain positive, as dull as my life had become.
That dullness ended after I celebrated my twentieth birthday.
Chapter 10
“Sorry!” Aslaug said, heaving on the last tie of my pale indigo, corseted gown.
I took the tightness like a true lady of the court. Today marked my second decade on this earth. I wanted to look my best even if no one but Aslaug would see me.
“Oh! I almost forgot.” Aslaug dug deep in the pocket of her apron. “I wanted to give you this for your birthday.”
I gawked at the diamond necklace she pulled out. I recognized it instantly. It had belonged to my mother. The gorgeous piece of jewelry flashed as she clasped it behind my neck. The diamonds came to a point and rested between my collar bones. “How did you…? Will you receive trouble for this?”
“No, I think it’ll be all right. Hilda says your sister never wears your mother’s old jewelry. And they are yours by birthright.”
“So is the throne,” I muttered to my reflection.
“Pardon?”
“Never mind.” I grinned widely at her. “Thank you, Aslaug. This means more to me than you know.”
My handmaid smiled back. “I have a few more preparations to make,” she said, patting my shoulder. “I’ll return by sundown.”
Yes, sundown. My birthday was around the last full moon of winter, when the nights were long and the days short. “Dress in something nice,” I called before she made it through the door.
She stopped. “I onl
y have my uniforms.”
I hurried to my wardrobe and shuffled through the gowns. My fingers paused on a dark magenta piece trimmed with white stitching. I folded the gown over one arm and brought it to her. “Wear this.”
She gasped “My lady. Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Yes, it’s a special occasion. I want us both to look our best.”
She accepted the gown and beamed. “Thank you.” She bowed her head and slipped from my chamber to get ready for the night.
Dressed in satin and diamonds, I watched the sky turn pink and then violet from my window. Aslaug returned when the stars woke from their slumber to shine into the night. She carried a tray covered in my favourite food and a sparkling white wine from one of the lower lands. She looked like a lady of the court in the gown I’d given her. Tonight, we were equals, and it was nice to see her in something other than the plain old uniform.
“If you weren’t a maid, what would you have done?” I asked her, picking at a piece of sweet, creamy cake after our dinner. “I mean, if you had all the coin in the world?”
She thought for a moment, staring at the empty plate before her. A grin spread on her lips. “I’d learn the art of healing and travel the realm, helping those in need.”
I swallowed my last piece of cake and washed it down with some wine. “Truly? You’d work even if you didn’t need coin?”
“Yes, I believe I’d become rather bored if I were to spend all of my time in leisure. If I didn’t need coin, I’d like to think I’d still help people.”
“You’re too good a person,” I said into my goblet.
“What about you?” She leaned back with a smirk. “If you weren’t a princess locked in a tower, if you were free to do as you pleased… would you still want to be a queen?”
I met her azure gaze, sparkling like frozen crystals of ice. “No,” I admitted. “I’d like to travel the realm as well and play violin at ridiculously fancy balls.”
She laughed as she refilled our goblets. We’d pay for our fun tomorrow, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had this much fun. Aslaug stared at the bubbling wine in her goblet, her smile fading. “Queen Starella plans to attend Noctis at Aquila against your father’s wishes.”
I raised my brows. “How did you hear of this?”
“I hear whispers sometimes—from other servants.”
I’d sometimes wondered if Star had grown into someone with a strong enough will to be queen, or if my father still controlled the kingdom from behind her throne. “Good,” I offered. “I would go too. My mother’s death was due to a sickness she’d had before she’d left. To snub Aquila because of it could be harmful to our relationship with them.”
“Lord Elis believes the journey is too long for any royalty of this kingdom to take. He apparently wanted to send an ambassador in her stead.” Aslaug picked her goblet up and swallowed back some more of the pale liquid.
“Lord Elis is a fool. I can’t believe I used to want to make him proud. I’m glad Star is taking a stand. Perhaps she’ll grow enough of a backbone to let me out of this prison someday.”
“He is your father,” Aslaug replied. “Every little girl wants to make their parents proud.”
“You didn’t.”
She blinked at me. “That’s not… you can’t compare yourself to me.”
I took a deep breath and set my empty goblet down. “You’re right. Our situations are different.”
Silence stretched on for a moment. Aslaug was the first to break it. “The servants say this is the first time your sister is going against your father’s council. He’s always been in her ear. Perhaps you’re right. Maybe she will come to your aid eventually.”
“Do you believe so?”
She dipped her chin. “Yes, I don’t see why not. You haven’t harmed me since you were first captured. Maybe we could convince her that your magic has disappeared.”
I thought about it for a moment, but then I waved a hand in dismissal and sank back in my chair. “If she let me out, she’d have to give up her throne. I’m sure she’s grown accustom to all the attention—all the power.”
Aslaug tapped her dainty little fingers on the wood table between us. “We could tell her you’ll leave the kingdom and never return to take her crown.”
A sly smile tugged on my lips. “We?”
“Yes, I’d convince Hilda to speak with her about it. Once you gained your sister’s ear, it’d be up to you.”
I pondered her suggestion. If only it were so easy. I shook my head. “No, she’d never go for it. It was a nice fantasy, but no. The only way I’ll ever leave this tower is if everyone in my bloodline has died and there’s no one left to rule. I doubt even then the people would release me. They’re all too afraid of what they don’t understand.”
Aslaug opened her mouth as if to argue, but instead she said, “It’s always nice to dream.”
“Yes.” There was no sense in false hope. “That gown looks lovely on you.” I gestured to the gown made from crushed velvet. “You’d have made a good lady, had I been queen.”
Her cheeks turned pink. “I’ve never worn anything so exquisite. I’ll return it as soon as it’s washed.”
“Don’t bother. I have enough gowns and nowhere to wear them. I’d rather you keep it.” It looked better on her. The bright shade brought out her azure eyes.
She looked horrified by the idea of such a gift. “But, my lady, I cannot accept something so—expensive.”
“Yes, you can.” I refilled our goblets, careful not to spill as she stared at me like I’d grown two heads.
“But I have nowhere to wear it.”
“You never know.” I raised a brow at her. I wouldn’t take no for an answer.
She must have realized it because she smiled, and her eyes shone as she whispered, “Thank you.”
By the time we’d finished the wine, we were giggly and warm-faced. Aslaug helped me undo the stays of my gown before bidding me goodnight. I stumbled to my bed and all but fell onto the mattress as the chamber spun. Too much wine indeed. It wasn’t often I let myself overindulge, but a lady only turned twenty once in her life. I wasn’t about to let my predicament take that away.
The candle in my lamp burned lowly. I decided it was too far away to bother with and left it lit. It’d burn out soon anyways.
I put my hand to the diamond necklace I’d left on, my mother’s necklace. Wearing it made me feel closer to her. I hoped Aslaug told the truth and wouldn’t get in trouble for taking it.
The smell of burning wood from the hearth filled the chamber. Shadows fluttered along the darkened walls, coxing me to sleep. With heavy eyelids, I sank deeper into my feather-stuffed pillows. The wine had done a good job of relaxing me. My breathing softened.
Then the sound of flapping wings had my eyes slamming wide open as a gentle breeze touched my face.
At the foot of my bed, a man with wings whiter than snow loomed over me. I must be dreaming, I told myself. Surely, I’d fallen asleep.
I propped myself up against my pillows, taking in the sight of the majestic creature. His silver and gold armour fit like a second skin over his muscular chest. His hair was white like the feathers on his wings, but his un-weathered face made him appear young. I would’ve guessed him to be about the same age as me. But his eyes… they were wise… ancient. I’d never seen anyone with silver eyes before.
Those eyes fixed on my face, waiting for some sort of reaction.
As my gaze travelled down his impossibly perfect body, my lips curved into a wicked smile. “Has Celestia sent me a gift on this night of my birth?”
The winged-man frowned down at me, tucking those enormous wings in. “I’m no one’s gift. I’m one of her elemental guardians, but I have come of my own accord.”
It was my turn to frown. “Elemental guardian? I’ve never heard of such a being.”
“We don’t usually come to the physical realm.”
“Are you to be my guardian then?” I
ran my fingers through my loose silver-blond hair and batted my eyelashes at him.
The move didn’t faze him. He didn’t even blink. Was this creature’s heart made of ice? “I’ve been your guardian since you were gifted with elemental magic.”
I scoffed. “You’re not a very good guardian. Where were you when my father locked me in here?”
He blinked, once. “It’s complicated. I’m not permitted to interfere with human lives.”
“But you’re here now?”
“Yes.”
“It’s rude to come to a ladies chamber so late at night,” I told him. “Unless…”
I kneeled on the mattress before him, the effects of the wine making me bold. It’d been so long since I’d seen a man my own age. “Are you here to ravish me?”
He crossed his bare, well-defined arms. “No. Time means nothing to me.”
I mimicked his movement, crossing my own arms. “This is a strange dream.”
“It’s not a dream.”
I laughed. “I’ve gone mad then, haven’t I? I’m to be exactly like my ancestor, Queen Pavanas.”
He didn’t answer right away.
I waited, staring into those beautiful eyes. I noticed the ring of gold around the silver in them. He uncrossed his arms and stepped back. “You’re inebriated. I’ll come back when you’re sober.” He unfurled his wings, which spanned nearly the full width of my chamber.
Maybe it was my body telling me it was missing the pleasure of another’s touch. Sometimes I had dreams of making love to people I’d never met in my real life. They’d never had wings though. If he truly was an elemental guardian… “Wait.” I reached out to try to touch him, to see if he was real, but he disappeared right before my eyes, as though he were never there at all.
I fell back onto the mattress and closed my eyes. It was just a dream. It had to be because the alternative was worse. I wasn’t insane. The wine had a strange effect on me. I’d be careful not to drink so much next time.
Before the candle burned out, I sank into more dreams of winged-men. I couldn’t make out their faces, but they all had the same pure white wings. We soared through the infinite blue sky as they held onto me. I had no fear as the ground beneath me flew by. Those chiselled warrior bodies wouldn’t let me fall. I forgot about Ventosa. No tower could keep me from the sky.
The Elemental Diaries - Complete Series Page 78