He shoved off me. “I have to go.”
“Ramiel…”
“Keep practicing. Practice until you’ve gained control.”
“Ramiel!” I caught his hand before he could disappear. “What’s wrong?”
His jaw worked. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” He vanished before my eyes. It didn’t matter how tightly our hands were linked. He left anyways.
I slumped over. What was that? I wondered. Perhaps I’d begun to chip away at his icy exterior. Maybe his heart did, in fact, still beat.
You’re being ridiculous. The Dark Lord is infecting the world with darkness, and all you can think about is winning the heart of your guardian. I was lonelier than I had thought. I had given up on love since Vidar… since my imprisonment, but Ramiel was different. A mystery I wanted to unravel. If I was going to die for my world, I may as well enjoy the last of my living days.
I picked myself, and the feather, up off the floor and went to fix my hair. I’d try again tomorrow. At least I hadn’t destroyed my chamber again. Thanks to Ramiel. If he hadn’t interfered, the wind would’ve slipped from my control again. I didn’t understand how I’d been able to command it all those springs ago when I was sixteen. Only one factor was different. All of Sarantoa hadn’t been depending on me back then. I needed to calm down. Focus my energy on controlling my power.
Tomorrow. I would try again tomorrow.
Aslaug’s voice wrenched me back to reality. “Queen Starella is out there.”
“What?” My gaze flicked over to her.
“She’s to journey home from Aquila.”
“Oh, yes. I suppose she is.” I finished combing my hair and plopped down on the bed.
“Your guardian said demons can get into our realm. What if they attack the queen?” Her hands trembled, so she clasped them behind her back.
I saw the question in her eyes. Will you be made queen if your sister dies? I shook my head. “No. I mean, if something happens to Star, the throne will likely go to my cousin, Aros.”
“Do you even care that something horrid could happen to your sister?” Her chin dropped. “My lady.”
“Did she care when my father shoved me in this tower?” My eyes stung. Aslaug winced at my tone, realizing her mistake. I said, softer, “Of course I care, but there’s nothing to be done about it. Perhaps you could pray to Celestia for her.”
“I will, my lady.”
“Now, stop being so sheepish and pass me some of that wine.” I pointed to the decanter she’d brought with her.
I didn’t bother asking what the special occasion was, but she told me anyway. “I thought after working so hard the last few days that you deserved to relax.”
I did my best to smile. “Only if you’re going to drink it with me. And stop acting so frightened.”
She filled two goblets and took a seat. “Aren’t you frightened? You’re the one who must face him.” The Dark Lord, she meant. Even his name was too horrendous for her to speak.
“I’m not afraid to die. I’ll happily spend the rest of eternity with my mother’s spirit. And what’s the point in being afraid? I don’t seem to have any choice in my destiny. The goddess has put the air element inside of me.”
Aslaug peered over her goblet at me. “Perhaps it’s your blood that chose.”
“It could’ve picked Star instead of me.”
She almost choked on her wine. “Do you really believe Queen Starella could fight in this war?”
I burst out laughing. Aslaug couldn’t help but join in on my laughter. The wine had begun to do its job. My handmaid’s demeanor loosened, no longer wound so tightly. I daresay, we both made much better company with wine involved.
We drank every last drop, and then Aslaug slunk back down to her own chamber.
Chapter 16
The sun lit my chamber for a while before I hauled myself out of bed. I poured myself a cup of water from the tray Aslaug had left earlier. I shoved a biscuit into my mouth and didn’t bother changing before picking the feather up off the floor. I perched on the edge of the purple lounger and squinted at it. “I will make you float gently.”
I balanced it on the flat of my palm like before and steadied my breathing. You controlled your power before, I told myself. Do it again.
I remembered the feeling of the wind as I had before, only this time, I imagined myself dancing with it. I took the lead. I was in control. Not the other way around.
That tiny spark inside my core burned brighter. Crystalized.
I asked… no, I ordered the feather in my palm to lift. The air obeyed, bent to my will. The feather floated up off my palm. I laughed, sending it on a slow spin as I dropped my hand down to my side.
“Ramiel! Ramiel!” I called.
No answer.
“Ramiel!”
“Well done,” he said from beside me. “Now freeze it.”
“Excuse me?” I turned to face him, letting the feather drop to the floor.
My guardian held himself stiffly, nothing of our last encounter written on his stony features. “I said make it cold. You have the ability to control frost.”
Of course. The wine that’d frozen in my hand. The dream of the bath turning to ice. They were links to my power. But… “Isn’t that part of my power linked to Vesirus? Pavanas obtained it under his control.”
“His darkness did warp her power, but yours was inherited. Use it to your advantage,” he advised.
“How?”
He pressed his lips together before kneeling before me. He took both my hands with his. “It’s easier to show you. You need to focus your power in a different way. Open your mind. Let me in.”
I stared at him. “You want me to let you inside my head?”
“Yes, if you want to learn, you must.”
“How… intimate.” I cracked a grin.
He dropped my hands. “Aura—”
I took his hands back up and cut him off. “Fine. I’m sorry. I’ll focus. Just do it.”
He hesitated, but he nodded and then closed his eyes.
I closed my own. I nearly jumped back at the ball of white light I saw in my mind. But it felt familiar. I realized the light belonged to Ramiel.
It blinked thrice, beckoning me to follow. Full of wonder, the spark within me trailed it. Down. Down. Down. I went farther into myself. Farther than I thought possible.
Brilliant colours of blue and purple filled my head.
The ball of light stopped.
“There.” Ramiel’s voice was worlds away.
I didn’t even notice him let go of my hands as the ball of light, his light, winked out.
“Give the command,” my guardian instructed.
My eyes flicked back and forth behind my lids. So much untouched power lay inside of me. Blue and purple. Pull up. Bring it to the surface, my instinct told me.
I gathered that part of my magic from deep within me and opened my eyes.
No frost layered the floor. I breathed out. My breath didn’t come out in clouds.
My shoulders slumped.
But then I noticed my hands. My flesh had turned blueish, as though I’d spent too long in the cold. I marvelled at my transformation and asked, “I don’t feel cold. Why don’t I feel cold?”
“Your power won’t harm you. You’re immune to it.”
My skin was already returning to its natural shade. I lowered my hands. I’d never felt so euphoric.
“You didn’t freeze the feather, but this is a start. You’ll need to practice focusing your intentions more,” he said.
Ignoring his last statement, I looked him up and down and replied, “Too bad. I wouldn’t mind you shedding that mighty armour of yours to help warm me.” What had gotten into me?
Ramiel choked. His mouth opened and closed. I’d rendered him speechless. Who could blame me? We had a connection deeper than mere mortals. And I’d been locked up with only Aslaug for company for the last four springs. I wouldn’t apologize. “I—I don’t have any body heat.”
>
My mouth curved up as I stepped closer to him. “There’s more than one way to heat a woman’s blood.”
He took a step back, eyes flickering. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”
The feeling of pure power, the way our sparks had intertwined… it’d done something to me. “Why?” I begged. “Why can’t we—”
“Auralina, stop.” My name on his lips sounded sweeter than honey to my ears.
But he didn’t want me. He didn’t like me. That self-revelation snapped me out of the spell. I tore my gaze away from him before he could see the shame there.
I saw his shadow move away. “Keep practicing.” I heard him shift as he said, “I’m sorry.” Then, he left me.
I raised my chin and saw the ice coating the little window on the other side of my chamber. And I knew if I were to check, I’d find it frozen from the inside.
Chapter 17
I didn’t want to think about Ramiel anymore. His rejection had wounded me more than I wanted to admit. Whether he thought it best to stay away from me, or he had other matters to attend to, I didn’t know, but he didn’t visit me again until I had a handle on my power.
I tried and failed over and over in the time he was absent. I could often get items to float. Keeping them elevated was the problem. When I wanted to freeze an item, frost would coat the floor and leave the item untouched.
Slowly, day by day, I grasped a hold of my power and eventually was able to bend it to my will.
“The queen has returned unharmed,” Aslaug informed me as she poured me a cup of warm tea one afternoon.
I held onto the little white cup, rimmed with silver, and peered at the dark liquid. The steam stopped wafting from the tea right before it crystalized and turned to solid ice.
My handmaid moved into my view. “Are you listening to me?”
“Hmm? Oh, yes. Star is home safe.”
She ignored the ice in my cup, as though frozen tea was an everyday thing. She’d witnessed me practice with many different beverages. I’d gotten so good, I could cool off a tiny amount of space instead of the whole chamber.
“People are telling stories of demons around the dying forest surrounding Terra,” Aslaug went on. “Queen Starella apparently saw none. Though, she admitted she didn’t travel very close to Terra. She did say part of the forest seemed awfully dry.” It was early summer. Trees should be in full bloom in other parts of Sarantoa.
“Thank you for the information, but it doesn’t help me much when I’m locked up here, and there’s been no sign of Ramiel.” Perhaps I’d scared him away for good with my forwardness. I still didn’t know what had come over me. It was like I was drunk on power that night he’d helped me find my spark. I couldn’t really believe he’d abandon me over a little flirting though. Not with the entire realm on the line.
“He still hasn’t come?”
I set down the icy cup of tea before answering. “No, but maybe I don’t need him. I’ve done fine all on my own.”
Aslaug smiled reassuringly.
“Tell me, what does my father think of these demon stories?” I dared ask.
“He believes they’re simply that… stories. He says King Zaeden and his army concocted them to scare the rest of Sarantoa.”
I scoffed. “Of course he did.” My father was a fool. He believed his own daughter a greater danger to his kingdom than his true enemies. He thought Ventosa to be untouchable by the rest of Sarantoa thanks to Pavanas’s spell of winter. I only hoped my sister didn’t follow in his footsteps.
We made small talk until Aslaug finished her tea, and then she left me, taking some of my gowns with her to wash.
I curled up on the lounger with one of my favourite books for the rest of the afternoon. I’d lost myself deep within the pages when the sound of wings interrupted me mid-way through a sentence. I set the story down on the space beside my legs and studied my guardian.
“Have you learned to control your power?” he asked as though he hadn’t deserted me for a little over a fortnight.
“Yes, no thanks to you.” I didn’t bother moving from my position.
“I showed you the way. You did better on your own. I’d only offer distraction.”
My lips twitched up. He had me there. “So, why have you come now?”
He took a seat beside me on the deep-seated lounger. “Solis has fallen.”
I uncurled my legs to sit up straighter. The weight of my destiny suddenly came crashing down on me. My chest squeezed, and I feared it would crush me. “Ventosa is the last free kingdom,” I breathed. “I don’t know if I can do this… if I can defeat him.”
“You can. You are not alone. The other elementals are headed here this very moment in search of you. You will have their aid.”
I turned my face to him. “And you? Do I have you as well?”
He didn’t shy away like I expected. He held my gaze with his as he vowed, “Yes, Auralina. You have me too.” He sat back as far as his wings would allow and crossed his arms.
We sat in silence for a few moments, his last words hanging in the air between us, along with the inevitable battle ahead. His nearness both calmed and thrilled me at the same time.
I thought he might leave me again, but then he stated, “It’s forbidden for guardians to get too close to their charges. Our emotions were shut off when we died to protect us from the memories of our past… from things we can no longer have. I tried to stay away from you, but I fear it’s too late. Spending time with you—it’s made me remember my mortal emotions. And I’m afraid, Auralina. I’m so damn afraid.”
I couldn’t move… couldn’t breathe.
“I was one of the last air elementals,” he explained. “Back then, many bloodlines had elemental magic running through them. Some of those elementals were tempted by Vesirus’s whispers and became dark. Atia, the woman who stole my heart, she became one of them. She kept it a secret at first—that she’d decided to follow Vesirus and had turned her back on our goddess. Then, she tried to convince me to follow him.
“When the elemental war came, we found ourselves on opposite sides of the battlefield. I had to kill her.” He paused as if the memory was too much, the memory I’d brought back.
I placed my hand on his knee.
“I died that day in battle too. Celestia asked me to become a guardian of air when I met her. She said she could take my pain away, and it would remain so unless I let myself become involved with another mortal. She had no way to keep my humanity away if I let myself feel again.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could think to say. I had no idea. The pain it would cause him to feel… I didn’t know.
“It’s not your fault.” His hand came to rest over mine. “It’s the risk I took in coming here, and why the others stay away. We all had painful ends to our lives. I thought I could do it. I thought I could remain indifferent to you, whether you lived or died. But I cannot. You’ve awoken my emotions—my humanity—and I’m afraid of what might happen to you.”
I gripped his face in my hands so that he had to look at me. He’d just stripped himself bare before me. “Don’t be,” I pleaded. “I’m not. I will not fail, and if I do… I’m not afraid to die.”
His otherworldly eyes glistened as he leaned forward. He paused. I didn’t dare breathe. I closed my eyes and felt his lips meet mine. Our lips parted, and I sank deeper into the kiss. So unlike the one I’d shared with Vidar. Eons of emotions swirled within that kiss. It was unfair. That caring for me caused him so much pain. I wanted to heal that pain, to take it away.
My hands roamed over the smooth silver armour covering his chest.
The spark inside of me, where my magic was held, glowed and pulsed, calling to the ball of light living inside of him. Air elementals past and present. I felt our connection on a spiritual level and knew he did too. It’d only strengthened since his light had shown me how to use my magic. Our power was cut from the same star. And now that I had him in my embrace, I needed him like I needed the air
I breathed.
“I remember,” he said onto my lips. “I remember what it feels like to have a beating heart.” The silver in his eyes lit from within.
I let out a muffled cry and kissed him again. But reality gnawed at my heels. I pulled back. “What does this mean?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “We defeat Vesirus, and then we’ll figure the rest out.”
I accepted his answer. The future was uncertain, but the risk was worth it. “I will never follow Vesirus,” I promised. “I’ll never succumb to darkness.” I’d never do to him what his Atia had.
He squeezed my hand. “I know.”
The door opened, revealing Aslaug clutching something in her hand. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed.
Ramiel shot off the lounger so quickly he nearly took me with him. He gave her a slight nod before disappearing.
The smile I couldn’t keep from my face had me explaining what had transpired between me and my guardian. Though, I managed to leave some of the details out.
My power hummed the rest of the night, like it’d been electrified. I knew I would never be able to fall in love with a mere mortal after what I’d just experienced. No other would ever affect me the way Ramiel did. Our sparks were magnetic. If I couldn’t have his heart, I would have no one’s. Not that I’d have other suitors unless I survived the war and found myself a free woman anyways. If that happened… I didn’t want to think about what it would mean for us.
First task… win the war. I had to focus on beating Vesirus back to Mnyama.
I smoothed out the piece of parchment I’d asked Aslaug to fetch me. She’d been quite helpful since she’d learned of my role in the war.
The elementals were coming for me. I needed to ensure they wouldn’t be turned away.
So I did the only thing I could. I dripped the feather in the pot of ink and wrote a plea to my sister.
Dear Star, or shall I call you Your Majesty?
The Elemental Diaries - Complete Series Page 82