For some reason, Mengele’s threat struck something at his core. He had said it so off-handedly, as if asking to pass the salt at a polite dinner. That what he was asking was just a simple fact, and not a betrayal.
On some level, Gus was well aware of his faults and failings and his punishment at the hands of Mengele seemed almost justified. His due reward for his stupidity and hubris of thinking he could take on someone so powerful with no real plan or backup. But those he had come to think of as friends. While they probably didn’t reciprocate those feelings, they didn’t deserve to be dragged down because of him.
A kernel of resistance hardened in his resolve. Mengele could do what he wanted to him, but his friends and family were off limits. The man had already done enough to his family, and if there was anything he could do to distract Mengele for any stretch of time, it would be that much more time he would not be able to go after them.
He twisted his neck to look at Mengele. The simple action took a Herculean amount of effort and pushing through searing pain but he grit his teeth and forced himself to do it. The widening of Mengele’s eyes was cold comfort when he saw the smile that followed it.
“Really, you’re going to make me use the curare again? So be it.”
Gus felt a pinch along the side of his face as Mengele injected something into his cheek and it fell into slackness despite his best efforts to keep his eye shut.
He could almost hear Mengele asking for Gus to ‘give him his hate’ as he peered closer, almost like he was looking through him. Mengele blinked, eyes growing wide as he began muttering excitedly.
At first, Gus thought he was talking to him, but he would trail off, then make a couple of quick notes into his virtual keyboard, speaking softly as he typed. As the curare spread out, his mouth also drooped, and he realized that he couldn’t speak even if he wanted to. A thin dribble of spittle leaked out the corner of his mouth. Mengele resumed his work as if Gus was not present.
“It is precisely these types of situations where breakthroughs come from. When something deviates from expectations. It shows an error in the traditional logic. It challenges things I have assumed I understood. If I didn’t know better, I would think the subject had managed to control more than just the Nun, but that can’t be it. There must be another explanation. I doubt a neophyte could have mastered Ba control, when it has taken me over a decade to refine the process. Still, there is something there.” Mengele paced as he tried to work through his reasoning, looking up as he thought, as if the answers were written on the white tile ceilings and harsh examination lights.
“If some substances can sever the connection of Nth to the Ka, it would stand to reason that something is left after the Ba is removed, otherwise the body would perish. A component of Akh? Can this also be separated? Hmm, yes, I will need to see if this can be accomplished without causing death, or if this aspect could be suffused to another, creating immortality?”
Gus tried to focus on what Mengele was rambling about, but it was difficult to follow without any context. He turned his attention to the ember that was smoldering within. He urged it to burn brighter, as if it could somehow do something to help him. He was divided. Most of him wanted to give up, to let himself crack and just cease to be. But the ember twinkled there in his core. Sparkling with promises of what could be. Of how it would burn in revenge. And though he could detect no outward signs, he knew without any popup that his True Sight had just confirmed that the ember was not wrong.
As the pain began, Gus focused on the ember. Focusing his entire attention on it, and it expanded to fill his whole vision. As if it were expanding or he was shrinking to nothing. It burned brighter and brighter, from orange to yellow, then blazing white. It encompassed his whole vision and then he felt his virtual eyelids close when he could take the brilliance no longer.
While it burned hot, it felt good. On the edge of pain like a searing jacuzzi or going outside for the first sunny day after a drawn out, rainy spring. He opened himself up to it and pushed his pain outward toward the sun-like ember, and felt it connect like a magnetic anchor.
He pushed pain out through the thin filament. Breathing in and then pushing out. Rhythmic. Inhale. Hold. Exhale and push. He leaned back and inhaled deeply, his head tilting back on the metal operating table. Was that blood he was smelling? It wasn’t coppery though, this smelled almost like the sea. It was something different, among the constant suffering that was Gus’ life now and his mind seized upon it like a rabid dog.
Each deep inhale filled his lungs with briny air. He could almost imagine the oranges and reds of a setting sun from his relaxing spot on the island a lifetime ago. Was that the wind? He leaned into a warm breeze as it caressed his face, ruffling his hair.
This is it, Gus. You’re finally cracking. Your psyche is splitting or whatever happens after prolonged psychic strain, he told himself. He welcomed the change. He was lost either way and this just felt… good. That wasn’t entirely accurate; it was another feeling. Gus let the sensations take hold of him and he could feel more and more as he allowed the memories to come to him. The soft cushion of his putty knee pad on the hard rock. The hypnotizing slosh as the waves undulated in and out in time with his deep breaths. The screech of gulls as they flew by overhead.
Though his eyes were closed, he could see the scene as if it was coming into focus. The palms and coconut trees came into focus, and their gentle whispering *shush* as their fronds were tickled in the wind. Gus saw a crab scuttling across the sand, which drew his eyes back up to the vivid sunset. He sat there captivated as the warmth of the sun’s last rays melted away the despair he had accepted as his new reality.
The sun hid partially behind a strip of clouds that hovered parallel with the horizon. Gus stared at the clouds as they moved slowly in response to the wind. He let his imagination run on autopilot as the clouds tumbled over one another. At one point he thought they almost resolved into words. Gus looked away, letting his mind wander as he surveyed the other side of the beach.
The pale yellows and oranges flickered to deep reds and drew Gus’ attention back to the sunset. The clouds were definitely resolving into words.
I’m finally losing it. But what the hell. Whatcha got for me, clouds?
It looked like they said ‘wirehair’ at one point, but the clouds kept moving, spinning and turning.
Just my imagination.
He almost turned away again when the clouds stabilized along sharp lines instead of their puffy, indefinite curves. Reading the message, Gus took a quick intake of breath.
We Are Here.
The message stayed long enough for him to realize that this was no trick of the light, though he was still unconvinced that it wasn’t all just a hallucination. Maybe even a dream. Sleeping would be acceptable, because the surge rebound of his Leech power feedback would kill him and then he could rest at last.
The clouds dispersed again as the colors deepened to darker shades. More words resolved, and Gus stared at them until the sun set. This time the clouds did not disperse. They held their message as if they were made of stone.
You Are Not Alone.
Chapter Seventy-Three
Golden Sunset
As he stared at the message, Gus wondered who could be sending it. Was it his father? The other supers? Maybe someone with mental or imagery powers?
But then the intensity of each of his senses increased and he realized exactly who had sent the message. It should have been obvious, looking back. Now he could place the feeling he had been experiencing at the beginning of the vision. It was not merely happiness, it was hope.
That combination of sensations had happened at a point in his life when he had felt a turning point. That new possibilities were now opened to him that he never believed would be a part of his life. That things were going to change for the better. That he had finally gotten a break in his depressing letdown of a life.
He wouldn’t have ever thought about this moment in particular but the hybrid-
Nth had known. Somehow, they were able to communicate in a way that typical Nth weren’t, and had found this set of circumstances to transmit that emotion in the peculiar way they communicated.
Perhaps that was why it was so confusing to Gus when they had tried to communicate in the past. They didn’t have any context to share their messages.
As Gus was ruminating on this, an enormous moon began to rise, replacing the sun. It was much larger than a normal moon, and brighter by far. It began to rise above the horizon, its pale reflection creeping across the ocean as it continued to rise. The speed with which it rose was unnatural, and it slowed as its lower edge touched the horizon, balancing there.
The reflection flickered on the waves as it touched the shore. The light pooled together and coalesced as a figure stepped out of the water. It was humanoid in form, but it was also fluid. It glinted with a pale glow, shimmering like mercury. It stepped slowly from the waves and Gus saw the moonlight reflected across the head.
As the humanoid form approached, Gus could see that the head had no face at all—smooth and featureless like a mannequin. It stopped on the beach below and appeared to squint, the smooth surface puckering in. As the figure relaxed, the shape of the eyes remained, and lids opened, revealing blue eyes that glowed lightly in the dark.
Gus realized with a start that they were fashioned after his own eyes, at least the facial features around the eyes themselves. The iris reminded Gus of a wolf’s, penetrating and wild.
Without breaking eye contact, the figure reached an arm up and swung it in an arc overhead. Time sped by as if in fast forward, and it was day again. The figure pointed at both its eyes with two fingers then pointed to Gus and then to the water. He aimed his attention there and saw a ghostlike representation of himself, as he returned from his deep dive to get the second plate.
As he left the water, the figure pointed at the plate and then to itself.
“Okay, I get it. You’re the Kroutonium, or Endurium. Is there any name you’d prefer?”
The figure looked up and tapped its face where the chin would be as if in thought. It then nodded and its body went mercurial again, slowly reforming into a tower with multiple tiers as it tapered to the top. The hand re-emerged and pointed to the very top of the tower.
“Tower, tower. Top of the tower.”
The hand beckoned, in an encouraging gesture.
“Um. Roland?”
A quick finger wag no.
“Just tell me. If you can’t talk, write the words, like you did with the clouds—”
The brows furrowed and the figure shook its head in a violent ‘no,’ reminding Gus of his friend’s little brother throwing a tantrum.
“Calm down, I’ll keep playing charades, shhh. Shhh.” He held his hands out placatingly. The being vibrated and wisps of whatever it was made of started to emanate like dry-ice vapor. With some coaxing, he finally settled the creature and within seconds the being was just staring expectantly as if nothing had happened. It then formed the tower again with its accompanying arm.
“Turret? Spire?”
A back and forth wishy-washy movement. The finger once again pointed to the very top of the tower, then motioned at the body of the tower with another finger wag no.
“So only the top. Okay. Penthouse?”
A vehement thumbs down.
“Capstone?”
A tenuous, waggling okay sign let Gus know he was close but not getting the exact meaning that was trying to be conveyed.
“So Cap for now. I like that. A little more personal than ‘hey you.’”
The tower reverted to its previous humanoid figure. Holding its hand out, another figure bulged out of its hand and resolved into a small man the size of an action figure. As it became more detailed, Gus recognized it as himself, though it was a solid white with no shading for details. This was further confirmed when Cap pointed to it and then to Gus.
“I get it, that’s me. Now what?”
The mini-Gus split like an unwound piece of rope, separating into three components, each with a different color. One red, one blue, and one a greenish yellow. Cap’s other hand beckoned to the sky, where clouds had gathered to form a distinctive shape, reminiscent of his display. The figures leaped into the air and flew like streaks, leaving colored contrails behind them. They populated the areas on his display where he tracked his HP, MP, and Stamina.
Seeing the connection, Gus tried to confirm.
“So those three aspects are part of my nature, I guess? Health, energy, and MP. What would MP be?”
Cap waved its hands in a “slow down” gesture. The colored figures flashed back, and Cap pointed to the red one.
“That’s health—”
A vehement shaking of the finger.
“Not health, then… Life?”
Big thumbs up from the figure.
“Not sure how that’s different than health, though.”
Next Cap pointed to the blue figure, which was analogous to MP. With its other hand, it made a cage around the blue character and pointed to Gus.
“So I can’t access my MP. I have figured that out.”
The figure shrugged then scooped its hand as if to say ‘go on.’
“Why? Oh boy. To be honest, I really don’t know what MP is. It’s just the fuel for your powers.”
Cap looked around as if looking for something, then again with the shrug.
“Where? Like where does it come from?”
A vigorous head nodding ‘yes.’
“I don’t know…”
The eyes looked severe and Cap jabbed at its temple.
“I’m thinking, I’m thinking, jeesh. So it’s energy that fuels powers, and somehow the Nth must be able to use it to make abilities work. You showed it as a part of me. Has that always been that way, or only after I became a super?”
Cap held up two fingers. It pointed to the first and nodded, then the second and shook its head.
“I guess I should just ask yes or no questions so it’s easier to respond. So if I’m understanding you, MP has always been a part of me?”
Cap nodded and gave a thumbs up.
“And other humans?” The nodding continued. “All humans, even regs?” Still nodding.
“That’s something I didn’t know. So we all have access to this MP energy whether we have abilities or not. The difference must come when we get Nth to actually do something with that—"
Cap pointed at Gus and was nodding like a madman. He had hit upon something. Cap waggled its fingertips forwards as if it was helping someone park a car. Keep it coming.
“So if everyone has it, and it must recharge, do we generate this energy ourselves?”
Cap waggled a finger no.
“So we don’t make it, but we absorb it over time?”
Thumbs up.
“So it comes from the environment, then?”
The wishy-washy, sort-of gesture.
“Is there more than one type of MP?”
Cap leaned back and closed its eyes in what could only be ecstasy as it pinched its fingers and nodded with slow satisfaction. It stepped over to the blue thread and peeled it like a banana into six thinner filaments.
There was an orange one, a translucent one, an opaque white, dark black, light green, and brown. The threads sparkled as light glinted off them, reflecting on tiny hidden facets, refracting light slightly when it hit them just the right way.
“Whoa.” Gus scooted closer to get a better look but the being put a gentle hand on his shoulder and gave him a warning look. It was only after backing up and blinking that he saw after images from the filaments temporarily burned into his vision. Gus rubbed his closed eyelids and still saw the afterimages of the sparkling threads. When they finally started to fade, it was back to a mere blue thread and the figure zipped them back together and the mini-Gus reformed and sublimated away.
The figure folded its arms expectantly.
Gus grimaced and rubbed his tongue over his teeth. When the figure
didn’t move or respond, Gus ran a hand through his hair.
“You gotta give me something more than that.”
A finger stabbed out, wagging at Gus a number of times, each time a little bit higher before ending right above his head. It then did the pinching zip motion with its fingers and waved goodbye. It turned and stepped back into the water, its body dissolving into a brighter glint on the water’s surface upon stepping completely in the water. Once the crest of its head dipped below a wave, it was gone.
What was all that about? And how does it possibly help me?
An errant wave sloshed over his feet, tickling them as the sand streamed by as the wave receded. Gus looked over his shoulder and saw a familiar outcrop. He navigated to the spot and watched the ocean and pondered what he needed to do as he watched the day settle into a golden sunset.
Chapter Seventy-Four
Want You Gone
“Razor. I’ve tried to be patient all these years. I thought we were past all this once we both graduated. Agree to disagree and just go our separate ways. I think you’ve told yourself a different story about what really happened. Enough that you have convinced yourself that things happened differently than they did. You were the bully. I don’t understand how you’ve made yourself out to be the victim. It just pissed you off that despite all you did, I succeeded in spite of you. That’s the real issue, isn’t it? Short little Darik always beating you somehow.”
Like I chose to be short. Out of all the Lusk men in his family, he was at least a foot shorter than his shortest brother. A trade-off for getting his powers much earlier than normal. While he had a much more intuitive control of his abilities, in his case it severely stunted his growth. He was never really self-conscious about it, regardless of how much idiots like Razor thought it was a dig.
“If the instructors weren’t favoring you, none of that would have happened! I earned the top space, but they had to be all sensitive and politically correct. Let the little guy win,” Razor finished in a taunting high-pitched voice.
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