I’d had worse offers. “Can we pick up cake on the way home? That bakery by the house has cheesecake that makes me want to roll around naked with a big fork.”
He snorted. “I’m pretty sure that can be arranged.”
“Great. Go back to burning me with peroxide.”
He stared at me for a moment and then leaned in to give me a kiss. “You’re doing really well with the compromise thing.”
“I know. I’m turning into an adult … even though I hate the idea.”
“I think you’re better at it than you realize.”
“That’s kind of a mean thing to say because I was almost shot.”
“Duly noted.”
TRUE TO HIS WORD, Eliot went over every inch of my arms and hips to make sure there was no possibility an infection would take my legs out from under me. He slapped bandages on both elbows and one hip, kissed me between the eyebrows, and then forced me to lie still on the couch with him wrapped around me for a full ten minutes.
Then, the second the clock clicked over to the eleventh minute, he released his grip and returned to his usual self.
“Coneys?”
“We had them for lunch but I’m fine with a repeat.” I slid into my shoes. “Am I allowed to complain now? I can’t keep up with these new compromise rules.”
He chuckled. “Yes … unless you’re going to tell me that your life flashed before your eyes and you saw someone other than me in a leading role.”
I rolled my eyes. “My head was too messed up for anything like that. That’s not what I want to complain about anyway.”
“Oh.” Eliot was momentarily taken aback. “What’s bothering you?”
“You gave James my story.” I managed to keep from yelling … but just barely. “That should’ve been my story. I was in the thick of things. I earned the entire space above the fold. Because of you, I lost it.”
“That’s what you’re angry about?”
“Yes.”
He snorted as he slung an arm over my shoulders. “I won’t do it again … unless I feel an overwhelming urge to cover you in bubble wrap to keep you out of trouble for an extended period.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better.”
“What do you want?”
“That really expensive cheesecake with the chocolate sharks on it.”
“Done.”
I smiled. “Are you going to give me anything I want tonight because you’re so thankful to have me in your life?”
He returned the grin. “Maybe. What did you have in mind?”
I knew what he was thinking. “A Lego Star Wars battle on the Xbox.”
His smile slipped. “Really? That’s what you want to do?”
I poked his side. “We can be naked during the competition.”
“Now we’re talking.”
JAKE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND LAUREN – a woman I personally selected for him because his last attempt at a relationship made me want to run wild through the street burning people with a curling iron – were already in a booth when we entered the diner.
Without a word, Jake moved from his spot to join Lauren on one side, making room for us on the other.
“I thought you guys had left,” Jake said once we were settled.
“Eliot wanted to play naughty doctor, so we went upstairs for a little bit,” I replied, flicking my eyes to the specials menu. “They have fish and chips tonight.”
“I’m fine with that.” Eliot smoothed my hair and smirked when Jake glared at him. “What?”
“Why do you let her say things like the ‘naughty doctor’ thing? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that makes me?”
“Because you used to want to play naughty soldier in the woods behind my house when we were kids?” I asked.
Jake held up a hand to quiet me as Lauren snickered. “I’m done with this conversation. I should have known better than to bring it up.”
“Then why did you?” I was in the mood for a fight, mostly because Eliot gave my story away and wasn’t sorry in the least that he did it.
“Because I’m a moron.” Jake leaned back in his seat and slipped his arm around Lauren’s shoulders. It was a casual gesture, one that might’ve bothered me a bit if he were still with his ex-girlfriend. For some reason, Lauren put me at ease … probably because she was good for Jake. She could be the things he needed, the things I never could, and manage to do it without making me want to smack her around. To me, that was an amazing feat.
“How are you feeling, Avery?” Lauren asked, her eyes turning serious. “Jake told me you were in the thick of things when those shots were fired.”
“I don’t really remember it.” That was a lie. I remembered it all. I didn’t want to dwell on it, however. I worried it would give me nightmares if I did and then Eliot would completely lose his head. “It happened really fast.”
“It did,” Eliot agreed, resting his hand on my knee under the table. “It happened really fast and yet it seemed as if it took me forever to get across the street.”
“Oh, you were there, too?” Lauren’s eyes went wide.
“Not exactly. I was in my shop. I knew she was there. She was excited about messing with the protestors. She has a certain knack for getting under people’s skin, in case you haven’t noticed.”
Lauren chuckled. “I never would’ve guessed that.”
“Yeah, well … I couldn’t find her at first. Everyone was scattered and there were still people screaming. One of the deputies was talking into her radio and said people were down by the podium, so that’s where I went.”
“Is that where you found her?” Jake asked, his eyes serious.
Eliot nodded. “She was with Dan Crawford, checking his vitals. Even in the middle of everything – shots flying and people dying – she was brave and trying to help. I still wanted to lock her in the trunk of her car to keep her safe.”
Jake’s chuckle was low and throaty. “I think you should try that for a weekend. It might be fun.”
Ugh. I was sick of the testosterone twins and their incessant bonding. “Let’s talk about something other than the fact that Eliot wants to lock me in the trunk,” I suggested. “For example, did you check out the roof? Do you think the shooter was up there?”
“We have reason to believe he was up there,” Jake replied, sobering. “We don’t have proof. We’re checking all the cameras. It might take some time.”
“Avery brought up a good point when I was bandaging her up,” Eliot supplied. “Those fire escapes are difficult to pull down. You can drop them easily enough if you’re already on the fire escape, but climbing from the ground is difficult by design.”
Jake cocked a challenging eyebrow. “Avery brought that up? How could she possibly know that?”
“She spies on people at the courthouse.”
“Oh.” Jake accepted the answer without complaint. “That makes sense. I hadn’t thought about that. Good tip, Avery.”
I made a face. “I’ve spied on you up there,” I offered. “You were testifying in a case and I watched you use a lint roller on your pants.” Hmm. Now that I thought about it, the tidbit wasn’t exactly dastardly. “You left the tape things from the lint roller on the street when you were done.”
“I think she’s saying you’re a litterer,” Eliot offered helpfully, causing Jake to chuckle.
“I’ll try to refrain from doing that again. Although … .” He tilted his head to the side and regarded me with mistrustful eyes. “Two months ago Tad Ludington filed a report with the department. He was upset because kids were somehow getting on the roof of that building and he didn’t think it was safe.”
“How did he know kids were getting on the roof?” Lauren asked.
“Because someone had been throwing water balloons at people on the street from the roof.”
“Sounds like kids.”
I magically found something to stare at on the wall. “I think I’m getting the fish and chips,” I volunteered. “It sounds good. You know …
comfort food.”
Jake continued as if he hadn’t heard me. “The thing is, when I went to the roof I didn’t find balloons. I found condoms with messages on them.”
Lauren, still behind in the conversation, knit her eyebrows. “What kind of condoms have messages on them?”
“The kind that are meant as gag gifts,” Jake replied. “For example, they said things like ‘small condoms for tiny peckers’ and ‘I will not be your father.’ That one had an illustration of a lightsaber on it.”
I refused to make eye contact. “I didn’t know they made condoms like that. How fun.”
“One had people doing lewd things,” Jake continued. “It said, ‘You’re my favorite thing to do.’”
Lauren snorted. “That is awesome.”
Jake never moved his eyes from my face. “Then there was the one featuring a skeleton that said, ‘I’d bone you.’”
“Oh, that one was funny,” I groused, losing my cool. “The one that said, ‘Condoms are easier to change than diapers’ was also a real crowd pleaser.”
“I knew it.” Jake glowered at me. “Where did you even find those condoms?”
“The internet. You can find anything on the internet now.”
“She’s not wrong,” Lauren said, clearly enjoying herself. “Oh, don’t pout. It’s not as if she hurt anyone. And water balloon condoms are kind of funny.”
I knew there was a reason I liked Lauren. She got my sense of humor … and often told Jake he was a moron when he didn’t. “I think you should listen to your girlfriend,” I suggested. “Let it go.”
“What if I don’t want to let it go?”
“Then I’ll tell you about my naked doctor session with Eliot,” I replied, not missing a beat.
Jake sighed. “Fine. Let’s talk about something else.” He focused on Eliot. “We’re doubling the security presence at the courthouse tomorrow. We don’t know if it will do any good, but we’re expecting twice the crowd.”
“Why are you telling him?” I asked, confused.
“Because he knows I’ll be there to keep an eye on you and he doesn’t want me to worry,” Eliot replied.
Well, crud. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear. “I think I’m going to need a double dose of that cheesecake tonight.”
Eliot squeezed my knee. “I think we’re both going to have a great time with that cheesecake.”
At least that was something to look forward to.
6 Six
Eliot was in a relatively good mood when we got home. In an effort to keep him that way, I waited until we’d polished off the cheesecake before changing into my Princess Leia Underoos and surprising him in the living room by tossing him one of the condom packages I’d saved during my water condom assault on Tad.
His reflexes were honed, so he caught it in mid-air. “What’s this?”
“A gift for you,” I replied, watching his face.
He read the green package aloud. “Yoda one for me.” He smirked. “There’s an illustration of a green Muppet on this.”
“There is,” I agreed.
“Are you trying to bribe me to get me to forget what happened this afternoon?” he asked, his eyes earnest when they snagged mine.
I shook my head. “You’re allowed to feel what you want to feel. Wasn’t that the compromise we struck? We’re both who we are and there’s no changing that.”
He chuckled. “I guess it’s good I like who you are ninety-five percent of the time, huh?”
“Definitely.” I nodded. “Want to see if we can get that up to ninety-seven percent of the time?”
He clutched the condom. “I could probably be persuaded.”
“Prove it.”
He slowly got up from the couch, a faux predatory look washing over his features. “Are you ready to begin your training?”
Ah, good. He was getting into the fun of the game. “Absolutely. I want to have a lightsaber fight.” I laughed at the expression on his face. “What? Too crass?”
He shook his head. “You’d better start running now.”
That’s exactly what I had in mind.
I WOKE WELL-RESTED AND happy to see Eliot sleeping hard. He lightly snored, one arm thrown over his head, and I snuggled closer as I debated my options for the day. There was no way I could give up the story now. Yes, James covered the court beat, but there were ways to turn Fish to my favor. I simply had to settle on the right one.
“I can hear your mind working from here,” Eliot complained, shifting so he could glance at the clock on the nightstand. “You can sleep for another thirty minutes.”
“We went to bed early,” I reminded him.
“That doesn’t mean we went to sleep early.”
“We kind of did.”
He sighed, the sound long and drawn out. “I can’t believe you’re up before me.”
“Yeah, well ... I think you were more emotionally spent than me.” That was the truth. “Once we stopped competing for domination of the galaxy last night — I’m sorry you fell victim to the Empire, by the way — I was out. I’m guessing it took you a little longer to fall asleep.”
“I was pretty close behind you.” He linked his fingers with mine beneath the covers. “You were snoring so loudly I thought the landscapers were here in the middle of the night, so that delayed me a bit.”
I recognized what he was doing and decided to let it slide. “I slept hard,” I agreed.
“No dreams?”
“I had a weird dream.”
He squeezed my hand. “Tell me about it.”
“We were in the zombie apocalypse.”
“Of course we were.”
“You wouldn’t let me take all my video games with me when we ran,” I said. “You said it was impractical.”
“I’m glad to see I’m also smart in your dreams.”
I smirked. “Later we found out the video games had a special alloy on the discs that turned the zombies back to human.”
“Oh, you’re making that up.”
I did dream about the zombie apocalypse and video games. The video games became a hindrance to carry around, but I didn’t want him to know that. “No, it’s true. I saved humanity.”
He rolled so he was pressed against me and kissed my neck. I could feel his lips curving. “I would totally want you on my team during the zombie apocalypse. You don’t have to worry about that.”
We rested like that for a long time because I thought there was a chance he might need it. I mean ... a long time. Two whole minutes. Then my busy brain got the better of me. “I have an idea on how to turn Fish to my way of thinking.”
His breath was hot against my neck as he started to laugh. “I’m sure you do.”
“No, hear me out.” I rolled so we faced each other, his morning stubble occasionally scrubbing my cheek. “I’m a woman.”
Eliot’s eyebrows hopped. “You don’t say. I’m shocked by that insight.”
I squealed when I felt his hands wander. “Hey! I’m trying to have a serious conversation. That means you have to listen and not ogle.”
“I’m a great multi-tasker.”
“Eliot!”
“Fine.” He sighed and moved his hands to my waist. “You have exactly two minutes to start talking about something I care about before we go back to exploring the fact that you’re a woman.”
The look I shot him was withering. “You are ... a pain in the butt.”
“I am,” he agreed.
“All I meant with the ‘I’m a woman’ comment is that we’re dealing with a case that essentially pits women against men,” I explained. “Now there are other people on each side, don’t get me wrong. In fact, there were quite a few men there walking with the WASP protesters.”
“I’m sure most of those men were there because they thought it would be prime hunting ground for dates.”
I stilled. “That is a very cynical outlook.”
“It is.”
“I was kind of thinking the same thing, though. I’m gl
ad I’m not the only one who thinks the worst of people.”
“That would be tragic,” he agreed, his lips brushing the ridge of my ear. He was clearly serious about picking up this morning where we left off last night.
“The thing is, this is a battle of the sexes.” My eyes crossed when he breathed into my ear. “Fish is going to give me the story simply because I’m a woman. If he doesn’t, I’ll explain to the protesters what’s going on and they’ll demonstrate in front of The Monitor.”
Eliot stilled. “You’re going to blackmail your boss?”
“It’s not as if it’s the first time. Besides, this story should’ve been mine from the start. It has all the hallmarks of an Avery Shaw spectacular.”
“Oh, geez! I can’t believe you’ve named the phenomenon.” He leaned back and dragged a hand through his shaggy hair. He was due for a haircut, although I liked it long so I never minded when it got a bit out of control. “Are you sure you want to take this route? You could just tell him you think it’s necessary for two reporters to be there every day. After the shooting, he’ll probably agree on principle alone.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But I don’t know that I want to gamble on Fish doing the right thing.”
“If you’re not careful he’ll send another reporter just to teach you a lesson.”
“Ah, see, that’s where things get interesting.” I beamed at his suspicious face. “I’m the only female reporter with the skills set to handle this story. The other females are all features reporters.”
“That’s sexist.”
“I agree ... but it’s true. There are only four female reporters. The other three handle features stories. I’m the only one who can handle something this big.”
Eliot remained unconvinced. “Is that true?”
“Is what true?”
“That you’re the only female news reporter.”
“It’s most definitely true.”
He sighed. “Well ... I think you’re probably going to be able to manipulate Fish to your way of thinking.”
I beamed. “Thank you.”
Above the Fold & Below the Belt (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 14) Page 6