by K. C. Crowne
“So I got roped into working the ring toss later,” Logan said with a grin.
“Oh yeah? Sounds awful,” I teased, leaning back in the chair.
Logan laughed; he was used to me by now. He knew I avoided kids like the fucking plague, even if he didn’t fully understand it.
“You never change, Justin,” Melody chuckled from beside me. “What are you going to do when our baby arrives? We may never see you again.”
I knew she was joking, but I hated that my best friends thought I might avoid them once their kid was born.
I shrugged. “Your kid is different.”
“Oh? And why is that?” Logan asked, side-eyeing me from where he stood by the grill.
“Well, for one thing, it’ll be your kid, and I like the two of you,” I stated.
“You like Finn and Chelsea too, right?” Melody asked.
I glanced at the happy family. Finn was a stepfather to a little boy named Oliver. He had never really wanted kids either; we used to agree on that. But now, he was a doting stepdad, and they had a child of their own now too.
“Yeah, but I’m not as close to the two of them,” I said. Mainly Chelsea. I didn’t know her too well, though she seemed nice. Hell, her little boy even seemed like a sweet kid.
I watched as little Oliver played with another little boy, the son of another fireman I didn’t know as well. They were right around the same age, I thought. I was bad with kids’ ages; they all looked alike to me, but I assumed they were around five.
Five. The same age my kid would be, I thought. I took a swig from my beer and turned away from Ollie.
“It’s alright,” Melody said with a giggle. “We won’t ask you to babysit or anything. Hannah and Izzy have already offered countless times.”
Hannah. Hearing her name brought back memories of the night before. Another thought I was trying to avoid.
The announcer called out, “Games starting in five minutes next to the pavilion!”
I glanced at Logan. “Looks like you’re up,” I said, knocking back my bottle.
Melody made a weird sound, and I looked at her, and I swear, her face was literally green. I helped her stand up as she muttered, “I’ll be right back. Stupid nausea.”
She hurried to the bathrooms, and Logan followed, motioning for me to take over the grill. I had no problem there, as long as he was back before the ring toss started. I flipped over the burgers, which were almost done, and plated them. A line of people had formed around the grill, and I handed them out. Little Oliver was one of those people, and his eyes stared up at me as if he was afraid. The two of us had never hit it off; he always seemed a little nervous around me.
Chelsea was beside him with her arm wrapped over his shoulder. “It’s alright, Ollie,” she said softly. “You know Justin.”
“Hey, little man,” I said, placing the burger on his bun. “Cheese or no cheese?”
As most kids often do, he didn’t answer me. Chelsea did instead. “Cheese, please.”
I placed the cheese on his burger and pointed out the other condiments. Ollie never once said a word to me, even though I’d often see him joking around with Logan and others. It was just something about me. A sign that maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a dad. I often took it as a sign that Dee had made the right choice about ending her pregnancy all those years ago, even if it wouldn’t have been the choice I’d have made. I’d have been a shitty father, and it showed every time I interacted with a kid. I tried, Lord knows I did, but it just never went well.
A bubbly brunette, the wife of one of the guys in the firehouse, rushed over to me, a panicked look on her face.
“Where’s Logan?” Shannon asked.
“His wife got sick, he went with her to the bathroom,” I said, pointing in the direction they went.
“Oh okay, then you come with me then,” Shannon said, grabbing my wrist. “We have a bunch of antsy kids eager to get started on the ring toss.”
“Uh, no way,” I chuckled, slipping my wrist free. “Logan should be back soon.”
“Then he can take over,” she said, laughing as if I was being ridiculous. “Come on, we need you.”
I hated letting anyone down, especially my extended family. They were all I had, pretty much. With a sigh, I relented.
“Only until he gets back,” I said, following Shannon in the direction of the pavilion.
It was a damn ring toss, how hard could it be?
Ooo000ooo
“You’re doing it wrong,” a little girl named Matilda said to me from the sidelines. She seemed to be five going on fifteen, her little attitude taking me by surprise. She reminded me a lot of Dee, and her mother looked a lot like my ex. So much so, I had to do a double take.
“Honey, let the man do it his way. I’m sure Justin knows what he’s doing,” her mother, Penny, said quietly. Penny was married to Chris. I should have known it wasn’t Dee, but my head was all over the place these days. It always was at events like this. Matilda wasn’t the first child I’ve looked at and wondered about.
I’d wonder, How old would he or she be now? Would my child be playing with the other kids, smiling happily and dancing around? Would he look like me, or would it be a girl that looked like Dee? I’d never know of course, but these thoughts hit me hardest when I was around children.
One reason I chose to keep my distance.
No one knew how close I’d come to being a father. Well, not really, since Dee only told me she was pregnant after the abortion. Not that I should have had much say in the matter, it was her body - and I wasn’t ready to be a dad - but part of me still missed the child I could have had.
And events like this always made it worse.
“It’s okay. If Matilda would like to help--”
The little girl shook her head and looked at her mom. “I don’t want to play this stupid game anymore.”
It’s a damn ring toss, I thought to myself. I had the bottles set up, and each kid was supposed to have a few tries to get their ring around the bottle. A classic game. I stared at the bottles, stared at the rings in my hands, and for the life of me, couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong.
“What am I doing wrong, sweetie?” I asked, scratching my head.
But little Matilda was already on her way to another game. Alright, well, she was just one kid who didn’t like me. Two if you count Ollie.
The next child in line was a ten-year-old boy named Alex. I knew his dad well, he had been one of my mentors. Alex smiled at me as he reached for the rings. Hey, maybe older kids like me better than younger ones, I thought.
“Here ya go, buddy,” I said, handing him the ring.
“What do I win if I get the shot?” Alex asked.
No one had told me anything about prizes. Shannon had dropped me off at the booth and rushed off to do something else. I looked around and didn’t see any of the stuffed animals that the other booths had on display for prizes.
I shrugged. “I can make you a burger.”
“Already had one,” Alex said, dropping the ring. He turned to his brother, Tyler, and said, “Come on, they have Pokemon over there.”
I mean, that I could understand. I didn’t have any prizes. Dammit, Logan, where were you? I’d been at the booth for a total of five minutes, and already all the kids were repelled by the ring toss. A simple damn ring toss.
Finally, Logan’s voice called out. “Sorry, man.” He patted me on the back. “I owe you one.”
“You taking over from here?” I asked, handing him the rings.
He smirked. “I guess I better before you run all the kids away,” he said. “What did you do?”
“Honestly? I don’t even know,” I said. “Apparently I wasn’t doing it right, and had no idea where the prizes were.”
“Ah, yeah,” Logan said, pointing to a large trash bag at the side of the game booth. “They’re right there.”
“Dammit. I thought it was trash,” I grouched. “Why would you put prizes in a trash bag?”
I helped my best friend put the stuffed animals on the shelf of the booth, while the two of us talked about the upcoming wedding.
“You nervous?” I asked.
“Nah,” Logan said. “Why would I be nervous?”
“Oh, I dunno, because you’re pledging your entire life to one woman,” I reminded him, picking up a Pikachu stuffed animal and thinking of Alex. Maybe he’d come back around. At least we kind of hit it off.
Before Logan could answer, a little boy of about eight came up to the booth. His mother was behind him. Neither one of them were familiar to me, but Logan knew them.
“Hey, Jessica,” Logan said. “Long time, no see.”
Jessica smiled and met Logan’s eyes with a flirtatious look. Instantly, I saw an attraction there - at least on Jessica’s part - and red flags went up. I knew my best friend would never cheat on Melody, but something didn’t feel right at all.
“Yeah, Simon and I broke up, but I’d promised this little guy I would come with them to the picnic, so here I am,” Jessica said, ruffling the little boy’s hair.
Ah, I knew Simon. He and I were never that close, but the name was familiar. I knew he had a kid but didn’t know anything about Jessica. The little boy looked up at Logan the same way Ollie had looked up at me earlier. Logan got down on his level and tried to talk to him.
“Haven’t seen you in a while, buddy. Last time I saw you, you were just a little bitty thing.” He was still pretty small as far as boys go.
Jessica caught me eyeing them, and introduced herself with a handshake. “Oh, sorry, I’m Jessica, and this is Owen,” she said. “I’m Simon’s ex-girlfriend, Owen’s step-mom.”
Logan stood up, obviously not getting a response from Owen, and elaborated. “Jessica pretty much raised Owen. They’re really close. Aren’t you, bud?”
Owen didn’t say a word. It felt nice to not be the only one who sucked with kids. I still had the Pikachu in my hands, and Owen glanced at it. His eyes lit up.
“Are you a Pokemon fan?” I asked.
Owen nodded.
“Oh God,” Jessica said, laughing. “This boy lives, eats, and sleeps Pokemon. Especially Pikachu.”
I handed the stuffed animal to Owen. Sure, he was supposed to win it, but who would know the difference? The games were all for fun, and every kid was supposed to get a prize anyway, so why not?
Owen took the toy and held it close to his chest, his eyes brighter than before.
“I don’t know much about Pokemon, personally,” I said. “Just that Pikachu is pretty badass.” I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t--”
“It’s alright,” Jessica said, laughing playfully. “He’s heard worse from his father. I think we can all agree that Pikachu is badass.”
Jessica tilted her head toward Logan, batting her eyelashes. If Logan noticed the way she was looking at him, it didn’t show. He didn’t react at all to her flirtatious looks. That seemed to annoy Jessica, who finally blurted out, “If you’re free later, Logan, I’d love to meet up for some drinks or--”
“He’s getting married this weekend,” I interrupted.
Jessica stopped speaking and stared at Logan as if to confirm this. He smiled a big, goofy grin and said, “He’s right. Marrying Melody this weekend. Didn’t you meet her?”
“I don’t think so,” Jessica snapped.
That seemed impossible to me - everyone who knew Logan knew of Melody. The two of them had been dating since high school, without so much as a break. And usually, wherever he was, she was there too. It used to bug me how the two of them were always attached at the hip, but eventually, I got used to it and realized that Logan wasn’t whipped, he just enjoyed her company that much.
He was a good guy, and Melody was good for him. Jessica, on the other hand, was a tall, pretty blonde who seemed used to getting what she wanted out of life. And from the look on her face, she wasn’t very happy to hear about the engagement.
There were no congratulations, just Jessica moving along with Owen, and Logan seemingly oblivious to what had happened.
“See? You were good with him,” Logan said. “So not all kids hate you.”
“That’s really what you want to focus on right now?” I chuckled, picking out another Pikachu and putting him on the shelf.
“What do you mean?” Logan asked.
“Jessica clearly has a thing for you.”
“Nah, we’re just friends,” Logan said.
“Keep telling yourself that, bro,” I said. He tossed me another stuffed animal, this one some generic purple giraffe. I placed it on the shelf.
I knew I had nothing to worry about as far as Logan went, so I pushed all thoughts of Jessica from my mind. Even if she was coming on to him - and even if she would be okay tearing a relationship apart - there was no way Logan would do anything to hurt Melody.
I had little confidence when it came to marriage, except where the two of them were concerned. I’d never met a more perfect couple in all my life.
Nothing could come between them, I was pretty sure about that.
Hannah
“If this meeting is so important, why am I the only one working on the presentation?” I muttered to myself as the clock ticked on Sunday afternoon. I was back in the office all day, adding finishing touches and information Elizabeth had just given to me. The presentation was for Monday, and we were running out of time.
I looked at the time - it was almost time to meet Justin. I couldn’t cancel. We were running out of time for the planning. The bachelorette party was less than a week away, and we had a lot to do. Rubbing my eyes, I sent over what I hoped to be the final draft of the presentation to Elizabeth and leaned back in my chair. She’d look it over and get back to me, so I was in limbo until she gave me the okay.
She’d be heading out to her parent’s soon for the family dinner, but that didn’t mean I’d be cleared to leave. If she found anything wrong or decided to change anything or add new info, I could be working through dinner myself.
I contemplated texting Justin to let him know what was going on but decided against it. The last thing I needed was crap from him regarding my job. No, I decided to cross my fingers and hope my two days of almost nonstop work was enough for Elizabeth.
I sat there for about twenty minutes, waiting for her response. I was supposed to meet Justin at six, but it was already 5:30. It wasn’t looking good for me.
My phone buzzed and it was Elizabeth. I was relieved to read the words, Looks good. I don’t see any other changes that need to be made.
I jumped from my seat and grabbed my purse off the floor. I was out the door within seconds of her text, responding to her as I rode the elevator down to the garage. I texted Justin too, to tell him I was going to be late. I then asked if he’d meet at my house instead. I didn’t want to go out, I was too tired.
I also didn’t feel like cooking, but I was starving, so I offered to order a pizza.
Nah, dinner is on me, he texted back.
I leaned against the elevator wall, my eyes threatening to close on me from exhaustion. I was too tired to argue with him, and besides, it would be nice to have someone take care of me for once. Even if it was simply takeout.
As I walked to my car, it hit me that I was actually looking forward to seeing Justin. Which was weird. Especially after what had happened the last time we were together. I couldn’t let that happen again. Even if the mere thought of that night made my knees weak and my toes curl from remembering how good it felt.
No, it wasn’t worth the potential drama. And when it came to Justin, there was always drama. I had enough problems in my life dealing with my boss; I didn’t need another annoyance in my life. Even if that annoyance was ridiculously good looking and could make me cum over and over again.
I was in a haze the entire drive home. Truth be told, I probably shouldn’t have been driving in the first place, I was so tired. However, it was a quick drive, and I made it home just in time. I pulled into my parking space and rushed up to my apartment and found Justin arriving at the exact same time.
“Wow, you got here fast,” I said, taking note of the bags in his hands. Gary’s Burgers and Fries. My favorite local burger joint, a place Logan and I had gone since we were kids. Our parents used to take us for their milkshakes, and it became a long-standing tradition for my brother and me. Their burgers and fries were comfort food for me, reminding me of easier times. The fact that Justin remembered this made me smile.
Justin shrugged. “I was headed this way anyway when I got your text.”
“Sorry I was late,” I said, fumbling with my keys to my apartment. “Work. You know how it goes.”
I’d expected there to be some awkwardness, considering we’d hooked up and all, but there simply wasn’t. Justin didn’t act upset at me, and he pretended like nothing had happened.
“I understand. Besides, it gave me some time to pick up some food,” he said.
I smiled wider than before. He even had milkshakes in his hands.
I opened the door and invited him in, apologizing for the mess. He scoffed. “What mess? Your place is always immaculate.”
“If you say so,” I said, cringing as I noticed everything that was wrong with my apartment.
Looking around, I noticed the empty water glass on the coffee table, the old magazine on the couch. A couple books on the end table that belonged on the bookshelf. Dust accumulated on top of the television and bookshelves. The blanket still on the couch from where I fell asleep there, too tired to make it to my bed one night after work. Maybe it looked good to him, but to me, it looked like a tornado had run its course through my place.
Then again, Justin and I were very different people. I’d seen his place before, and it wasn’t pretty. I often remarked about him hiring a maid or cleaning service, and he’d roll his eyes. He made okay money working at the fire station, sure, but not enough to live that luxurious. Especially since he wanted to be closer to work and paid more in rent to do so.