by Reina Torres
“I know it scared me. I went from this really narrow world to suddenly having a whole bunch of people who care for me and that was new. That was so new, and it freaked me out a little, but I felt like you and I had this connection.”
He didn’t know what to say to her. He heard the truth in her voice, the conviction in her tone. He wanted to tell that she was right and wrong. Yes, they had a connection, he still felt it, but that was also why he was trying so hard to stay away.
He was only starting to realize how stupid he’d been, but now she was going out with someone. What was he going to do? Step in the middle of that? What if it went wrong? What if they went wrong?
She touched his arm and it was everything he could do not to pull her against him and tell her he’d been stupid, a stubborn jerk. Instead, he stood there and let her touch him, because he was helpless to do anything else.
“What can I do to fix this… this distance between us, Still? I just miss you every day.”
“It’s space you need, Aylin. This is an important time in your life. You’re making new friends. You’re working toward a degree and really planting your feet under you. You deserve to do all of that without someone weighing you down. Take this time to broaden your horizons.”
“Really? Broaden my horizons, Still?”
Listening to it, out loud, it did sound stupid.
“You sound like the college counselor at my high school. If that’s why you’ve been staying away from me, please stop. I can figure things out on my own. That’s what I learned from my tutors when I was building up my reading skills. They could dance around on burning coals, but until I got it in my head and my heart to do what I needed to do and put their techniques in play, it wasn’t going to make a bit of difference to my school work or my life.
“If you think that I’m going to make better choices without you, I think we’ve already proved you wrong. I’m better when I have people around me who mean the world to me. People I can trust. People who I care about so much, they’re not just like my family, they are my family.
“So, I need you to tell me, Still. Are you part of my family? Can I count on you to be there for me and let me be there for you?”
All of his good intentions hadn’t done a thing except drive a wedge between them that he didn’t want. He’d made her think he didn’t care, instead of letting her know that he cared too much.
The Alarm sounded and the speakers blared telling everyone in the building that there was a house fire that needed them.
Stillman knew he had to go, but he also needed to say something to Aylin. He just hoped that he didn’t mess it up.
“I’m always here for you.”
She opened her mouth to argue, and he realized that his actions didn’t speak the same language of his words over the last few weeks.
“I was stupid to stay away from you. I trust you to know what you want, but I wasn’t showing it and for that I’m sorry.” He heard someone run past the office, calling his name. Stillman took a step away from her and toward the door. “If you need anything, Aylin, and I mean anything, you know you can always call me. You are my family and I’m here for you. I promise. No matter what.”
And then he had to run. He knew he’d be the last one down to the apparatus floor, but he’d make it there in time and he’d do what he needed to do to prove himself to his crew... and Aylin too.
Chapter 8
As much as she wanted to move on... move along, Aylin always felt like there was something missing in her life. A few more weeks went by with school, homework, tests, work and yes, new friends and dates with Wes.
Instead of really moving forward with her life, it felt like she was in Neutral instead of Drive, where the world was moving her forward, or maybe it was momentum propelling herself through the days and nights.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t trying to make things better, she was.
It just wasn’t happening.
Moving along the sidewalk, she made sure to check the walk signal on the small cross street before she stepped into the crosswalk. It had been a relatively nice day weather wise and she’d walked to her morning classes and at the end of her long day, back to the apartment.
She held back a sigh. She didn’t even consider it ‘her’ apartment so much. While she loved Lissa and would be her roommate in a double, this three-way split was starting to wear on her nerves.
“Aylin, wait! Aylin!”
She slowed her steps as she saw who was waiting for her in the parking lot of her apartment.
Craig.
Craig Dennis.
Her... father.
Stepping up onto the curb, she walked over to him and went right by him toward his car. How the man still drove a Lexus SUV still boggled her mind. An ostentatious show of wealth when he was still struggling to turn public opinion in his direction just seemed like an odd choice.
She made sure to keep her voice low. “What are you doing here?”
He looked a little disappointed for a moment and then schooled his features into a broad grin as he held out a tissue paper wrapped bunch of flowers. “I bought these for you.”
Aylin hesitated to take the flowers from him, looking around the parking lot for a moment before she reached out and accepted the flowers.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?”
Well first, the fact that he called her ‘sweetie’. People who called her nicknames like that were either strangers who were much older than she was, or people who were close to her and viewed her as family.
She really didn’t see Craig in either one of those groups. Definitely not the first. And there was a long road to travel before she saw him in the second.
“I thought I asked for some time.”
“And I gave you time.” The lines at the outer corners of his eyes were etched in deep. “I miss you, Aylin and I thought you’d appreciate the flowers.”
She let silence fall between them for a long moment before she spoke again.
“You don’t know me all that well. We’ve barely spent any time together so I’m not sure how you can miss me. I’ve been working really hard and I’m doing really well in my classes. I just need a little more time to think-”
“It’s been over a week since we talked-”
“And while we were talking you were pushing really hard to take me to dinner.”
“What’s wrong with that? You come, you eat, and then I bring you back here. That’s good, right?”
“What’s weird is that it’s at a really popular restaurant in town and I feel like you’re not taking me there for me.”
“And who,” he lowered his voice into almost a growl, “would I be taking you there for?”
“Yourself. I remember seeing you in a bunch of photos in the newspaper society columns while you were eating at the restaurant. I’m starting to wonder if you really are as far removed from the political arena as you’d like me to believe.”
“That’s not fair, Aylin! I’ve been trying so hard.”
“Maybe too hard, okay? This isn’t something you can rush.”
“Rush? Again, it’s been over a week...”
She listened as he continued on, but the words started to blend together as he talked about his integrity. She’d learned a long time ago from her mother that words were cheap, people showed you their true character and right at that moment, she was seeing the not-so-good side of Craig Dennis.
“Hey, Roomie!”
Turning her head, Aylin felt something pinch a nerve at the back of her neck. The car that had just pulled into the lot was exactly the last car Aylin had hoped to see.
Sean Morgan’s super sleek jaguar convertible was a car that was instantly recognizable and the blonde leaning on the door with her eyes wide as saucers was none other than Kat Jennings.
“Who’s this?”
Wow, Kat. Nosy enough?
Before Aylin could manage a sound, Craig walked past her to the car and held out his hand. “Craig Dennis. I’m Aylin’s f
ather.”
Kat offered her hand for a limp-wristed shake. “I thought her dad was a fireman. You,” she added a little pointed tone to her voice, “don’t look anything like a fireman.”
Aylin couldn’t see Craig’s face, but she saw the hard line of his shoulders.
“That’s Ethan. I’m Craig, her real father.”
A cold chill shivered down Aylin’s spine. She didn’t say a word. She wasn’t going to argue with him, not in front of Kat and Sean, but she certainly wasn’t going to add fuel to the fire.
Sean pulled his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose and squinted as he looked from Craig to Aylin and by the slant of his lips, he didn’t like what he saw. “Two dads. That must make it interesting on Father’s Day.
Craig tapped the top of the convertible’s door and stepped back. “Well, everyone wants Aylin for a daughter. Can’t blame Ethan for trying. Nice to meet you two. Maybe later-”
The car pulled away and Aylin felt like the weight of the world was crushing her. She could barely stand up straight.
“Can you believe those two?” Craig turned around to look at her. “Didn’t even offer their names and you certainly didn’t try to introduce me. Why is that?”
“Because they’re both annoying and I honestly don’t want them to know much about me.”
“It’s just polite to introduce your friends to me.”
“They’re not friends! Kat’s my roommate and she can barely tolerate me being around even though I pay just as much to live there as she does. And Sean? He’s a pretentious guy who thinks he’s the shit. And he’s not. So why does it matter to you if I introduced you or not?
“If you really want to be involved then you’ll let me introduce you to my actual friends, but that won’t happen if you keep overstepping.”
He opened his mouth to argue, his eyes touching on the flowers she had in the crook of her arm, but miracle of miracles he didn’t say anything about them. He didn’t even repeat his complaints. He just looked at her.
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s been a long day and I really need to go inside and study. I... I appreciate the flowers. Thank you. I’ll... I’ll call you this weekend. Sunday night?”
His lips barely moved, leaving his frown in place as he answered. “That would be fine.”
“Okay,” she tried to manage a smile. “Sunday then.” Drawing in a deep breath, she turned and walked away.
She didn’t even make it four feet in the door when she heard Kat’s voice slice into her ears.
“What’s the deal with that guy in the parking lot?”
“That was something personal.” Aylin hated the hard tone in her voice, but she really wasn’t ready to talk about it.
“I was just curious,” Sean continued. “The guy married to your mom is a firefighter, but this guy? He doesn’t look like he’s worked a menial job in all of his life. His suit alone is worth four figures.”
“I wouldn’t know about that.”
Kat’s laughter was short and cutting. “You don’t have to tell me that. I only had to take a look at you when we met to know that you shop the sales racks and not even at boutiques.”
“Christ, Kitty Kat,” Sean’s tone was like steel and managed to get Kat to stop talking, “anyone ever told you that you don’t have to be a bitch to every woman who’s prettier than you.”
Aylin didn’t know what to do. All she knew is that she wanted to be far, far away from the situation. Kat may just be that catty, but that didn’t mean that Aylin wanted to see her get her feelings hurt or see her be cut down by anyone. Leaving the flowers where they were on the table and the half-filled sixty-four-ounce cup in the sink, Aylin made a beeline for her bedroom.
She heard Kat call after her just as she reached her room.
“Run away, little girl.”
Closing the bedroom door behind her, Aylin turned the lock, not that either of them would break into her room, and sat down heavily on her bed. Sean wasn’t her friend, but she didn’t view him as an enemy either. Why would he say those kinds of things to Kat? It felt like he was goading Kat into lashing out at her.
The only reason Sean was ever in their apartment was because of Kat. She made no secret of the fact that she wanted Sean to be her boyfriend. Since Wes had been taking Aylin out from time to time, Kat was always pushing Sean to go along so they could ‘double.’
Sean went along with it most times, although that also meant that they had to hear his usual crop of ‘orgy’ or ‘swinger’ jokes. It didn’t help that Sean seemed to think she was sleeping with Wes even though both of them had denied it every time. Honestly, the worst part of sharing an apartment was that she had no control over who stopped in and when.
And now that Craig had stopped by and Kat had discovered that she had not one but two fathers, Aylin knew she was going to get a whole slew of new invasive questions and insults.
Just great.
Deciding to stay in her own room was going to suck since she’d have to wait until Kat either took Sean into her bedroom or the two left for some reason. Until then, Aylin was going to get her work done. She had one catering event to work that week and then on Saturday, Wes was taking her to a party hosted by his parents.
She knew that Kat liked to make fun of her clothes, but half the time Aylin wondered if she just said horrible things to be mean. Aylin had taken great care in picking a dress for the upcoming party. She’d even gone to Sloane Bravo and Hildie McGowan for help. Sloane was a socialite who knew how to dress well and Hildie was a fantastic sounding board. They’d helped find her mother the perfect dress for her wedding to Ethan and Aylin had called in the troops to help her with a dress fit for the Hillandale Country Club.
If it killed her, she was going to look the part of someone who belonged there, not for the stature of it, but just because she wanted to enjoy herself. She didn’t want to embarrass Wes even though he’d already assured her that he thought she’d be fine. In his words, he thought some of his parents’ friends were too stuffy and old fashioned. The word ‘classist’ came up at one point and just to get him to stop talking about it and making her more nervous, Aylin had kissed him.
And the kiss had felt better than the one at Club Cumbia, but it also felt worse. Kissing Wes was nice, but he didn’t make her toes tingle or her heart pound. She hadn’t kissed Stillman... well, not like that. When he’d taken her to her prom, she’d thought that she would get that all important first kiss from her date at the door when he’d said goodnight, but instead, he’d kissed her cheek and then one of her hands before he’d walked back to his car.
Yet, the touch of his lips against her skin, the warm rush of his breath, and the feel of his hands wrapped around hers had made her heart pound and her blood course through her body like it had never done before.
Just in those few moments, she’d felt the entire gamut of emotions and need. It might seem crazy to anyone else, but to her it had felt like she belonged in that moment. She belonged with him.
And she knew, without a doubt, that it wasn’t a matter of giving her heart to him, he had it.
The fact that he wanted her to be with someone else, rankled. It hurt where it couldn’t be fixed, but what else could she do. Stillman seemed so sure that there would be something else out there for her, someone else.
Aylin didn’t believe it.
Hadn’t believed it.
But the last time she’d seen Stillman, he’d all but shut the door on her feelings. He’d be there for her, like the other firefighters at the station. He’d be there for her like the Rangers, the FBI, the Police… the entire first responder community. He just wouldn’t be with her.
He wouldn’t love her the way she loved him.
And she’d told Wes that while she was enjoying their time together, she wasn’t quite ready for anything more than their dates. She didn’t think he liked it, but she knew what it was like to be on the end of a relationship where you cared more for the other person than they did for you. So, she was
trying to open up to him.
He said he understood and wanted to go out with her.
That was something, right? That he didn’t want to give up on her? Wes deserved an effort from her. That’s the least she could do. And that party at the country club was coming up. So, she’d put her effort into that and hope that she would be swept away by the romance of the night.
Chapter 9
Aylin ended up getting ready for the Country Club party at her parents’ house. She didn’t mind doing her own makeup, but there were just moments where she wanted to spend time with her mother. Viviana must have a magic wand somewhere in her makeup kit because she always seemed to transform Aylin when she applied just the right sweep of mascara or the mystical touch of color on her eyelids.
That night was no exception. With the pale lavender color of her dress and the amethyst earrings that Ethan had given her on the day he married her mother, Aylin felt like a princess. Even the tiny sparkles on her strappy sandals felt like diamonds.
As her mother dabbed one last wisp of powder on the tip of her nose, Aylin turned toward the mirror in the master bathroom and stared. “Wow.”
Viviana stepped up beside her and gently grasped her shoulders as she looked into the mirror. “Wow, indeed. You look so beautiful, mija.”
For once, Aylin didn’t wave off her mother’s compliments. She basked in it.
The dress that Sloane and Hildie had picked out for her felt like a dream. What was really clouds of fabric fell over her body in satiny waves, while the hem of the skirt and sleeves fluttered against her skin and brought out the warm tones of her skin. “This is going to be the best night ever!”
The sound of the doorbell echoing through the house almost made the women jump. Laughing at their silly reactions, they walked into the hallway. Viviana leaned in. “Should I go down first so you can make an entrance?”