“You want me to help you with that, J?”
“If that means you’re going to put your hands all over me, then yes, please,” Jeremy said, passing it over with a cheeky grin.
“That’s one way to look at it,” Nick said, laughing as he untangled the harness and wrapped the waist belt around Jeremy.
He liked that J was comfortable enough to flirt with him without it having to mean anything.
Nick had had his fair share of unwelcome attention in the past—women like Marcie, for example, who didn’t have the good grace to let it go when he made it clear he wasn’t interested—and it wasn’t the first time a gay dude had shown an interest in him, but with Jeremy, it was different. The banter felt natural. Relaxed, but also a little exhilarating. Maybe because J didn’t seem to take it too seriously. Or maybe because, with the fake boyfriend thing, it made it feel a bit like the two of them were in on a joke together. And sure, Nick could also admit that it kind of stroked his ego a bit. Who wouldn’t like to feel attractive?
And honestly, if he were into guys, he’d probably go for someone like Jeremy.
J was a funny mix of gung-ho clumsiness peppered with bouts of embarrassment, and Nick loved that he didn’t let the latter stop him. And physically, well, Nick wasn’t used to sizing guys up that way, but he’d have to say that the guy was definitely cute. Regardless, though, attraction had always been about more than looks for Nick. He saw a lot of hot bodies on a daily basis, but the ones who didn’t have something more to offer ended up with zero appeal, no matter how good they looked on the outside.
J, on the other hand, was overflowing with appeal.
He held his arms out of the way as Nick fed the webbing through the buckle at his waist, pressing his lips together as if he were holding back a laugh.
“Enjoying this, Pumpkin?” Nick asked, grinning at him.
“I’m just trying to get into the spirit of things,” Jeremy said. “This is supposed to be a practice date, right?”
It had been a while since Nick had dated, period, and even though they were only faking it, seeing Jeremy enjoy himself definitely made him feel good. Nick had woken up with a little buzz of anticipation in his stomach about this faux-date that morning, and he was really hoping that even after they ended the boyfriend charade, J would still want to hang out. They’d grabbed a bite to eat on the way to the climbing gym, and so far, spending the day with him was turning into the best time Nick had had since moving to Tulsa.
When Nick wrapped his arms around Jeremy to tighten the belt, Jeremy took advantage of the position to grab onto his shoulders. And okay, maybe calling the way he playfully ran his hands over Nick’s muscles “grabbing onto” was being generous—especially when combined with the decidedly naughty gleam in his eye—but it was all in good fun. Had to give the guy points for getting into his half of their role-playing. Although if Jeremy thought a little groping was going to rattle him, he was sorely mistaken.
Nick could give as good as he got.
He gave Jeremy’s waist belt an extra tug, yanking him closer for a second just to mess with him. It worked. He made that funny rabbit sound that Ava had teased him about, his hands tightening around Nick’s arms when the motion threw him off balance.
“Got a good grip, J?”
Jeremy turned pink—a precursor to the amazing shade of red he was capable of—but, as usual, he was quick to laugh at himself.
“What?” he said, trying to look innocent as he let go and patted Nick’s shoulders in a weak imitation of we’re-just-bros. “You promised you wouldn’t let me fall.”
“I meant from the wall.”
“Always a good idea to practice before the real thing though, right?” Jeremy asked, grinning as Nick pulled the harness away from his body and separated the rest of the webbing.
“Just don’t go getting excited when I secure your leg straps,” Nick said, winking. “Hard to climb with a chub.”
“Oh my God,” Jeremy said. “I can’t believe you just said that. I’m not going to…” He let his voice trail off as his face completed the journey to fire-engine red.
Nick grinned, letting his gaze skitter over Jeremy’s bulge for a split-second as he buckled the harness around his thighs. Not an area Nick normally checked out, but he figured he got a pass for curiosity, given the topic of their conversation.
“No?” Nick teased. “I don’t do it for you?”
Jeremy mouthed another “Oh my God,” then held utterly still while Nick finished with his legs. Nick laughed, almost tempted to push it further just to see how red he could get Jeremy to go. But no. He’d have mercy.
“If we’re going to pull the boyfriend thing off, you’re gonna have to work harder on selling it, J,” Nick said, straightening up once he finished. He tugged on the straps to ensure a good fit, then quickly closed all the buckles. Normally he’d make sure to walk a newb through each step, training them on safety while they did the actual work themselves, but he’d save that for next time with J. He was having too much fun manhandling his faux-boyfriend at the moment. “Today’s not break-up day,” he added. “So you’re going to have to act like you’re into me.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” Jeremy said, his eyes crinkling at the corners as his color finally started to fade back toward a less brilliant shade.
“That’s the spirit,” Nick said, leading the way over to the wall. “We need to present a united front. Have each other’s backs. You and me against the world. Or at least, you and me against Candi’s reunion planning committee. We’ve got this.”
“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m getting a locker room pep talk?” Jeremy asked, eyeing the climbing wall warily. “Go Team Us.”
Nick grinned. “Team Us” sounded good to him. He’d always preferred being part of a group to being alone, even when it was just a group of two, and hanging with J was definitely giving him a much-needed hit of camaraderie. It just proved that Beck was right about him. Nick liked to feel connected to people. Needed it. Got energized by being around the good ones, like fuel for his spirit. It was something he hadn’t fully realized he’d been missing until he found it again.
“You’re definitely my first-round draft pick for Team Us,” he said, clapping J on the shoulder.
He knew Jeremy thought they were just joking around, but as the words left his mouth, Nick realized it was true. Jeremy hadn’t been in his life long, but Nick was already sure that he wanted to keep him there.
“First-round draft pick?” Jeremy repeated back to him, rolling his eyes. “You sweet talker, you.”
Nick laughed. “Romance isn’t my strong suit,” he admitted.
“No, that works,” Jeremy said, pinking up again. “Romance isn’t just chocolate and flowers.”
Nick pulled Jeremy closer so he could clip him into the rope. Normally, he’d start a new climber with bouldering, but with Jeremy’s fear of falling, he’d decided that the guy would feel more confident if he were roped in. With that in mind, Nick had picked a short, twenty-foot top-roped climb to start off with. It was a route that Nick had done enough times that he’d be able to talk Jeremy through it if he got stuck. Not that he should, since it was pretty easy, but Nick wanted to make sure that nothing messed with J’s confidence his first time up.
“I think you’re being too easy on me, Pumpkin,” Nick said, fisting the rope in his hand so Jeremy couldn’t get away. “You’ll need to train me on the whole gay dating thing if I’m going to do it right.”
“I doubt it’s all that different than what you’re used to,” Jeremy said. “Just act like you want to spend time with me.”
“No acting required. I’m good at faking things when I need to, but this is definitely not a hardship.”
Jeremy’s lip twitched. “See? That already makes it the best date I’ve had in a while. Now if you could just pull off pretending to be attracted to me, no one would ever guess it wasn’t the real thing.”
Nick was attracted
to Jeremy—as a person—and even if he’d never been sexually attracted to men before, he certainly had no problem with the idea. Anything consenting adults wanted to do was a go in Nick’s book, even if he’d never personally looked at another man in that light.
Nick was standing chest to chest with Jeremy, and he moved one hand to Jeremy’s hip, trying to imagine how he’d act if he were in the same position, flirting with a girl he liked.
But no.
He didn’t want to think of a girl. This was about Jeremy. Nick already liked him. Was it really that much of a stretch to like touching him, too?
He splayed his fingers, sneaking them under the hem of J’s shirt to test the theory. A shiver went through Jeremy as Nick’s thumb brushed against his skin, and yeah, Nick could admit that getting that kind of reaction was kind of hot.
“Um, what are you doing?” Jeremy asked, his eyes widening.
Nick grinned at the breathless tone, but pulled his hand away. Jeremy had been talking to him about how to fake it, not inviting Nick to feel him up. Nick didn’t take J’s playful flirting seriously, and even if he was feeling a little curious now, Jeremy deserved better than to be his experiment.
Nick shoved his hands into his pockets, looking Jeremy up and down in an exaggerated show of checking him out.
“I’m just trying to get into character,” he said, winking. “See you the way my friend Beck would.”
Jeremy shook his head, laughing. “Oh my God, please don’t,” he said, smoothing a hand over the back of his hair in that spot where it always seemed to stick straight up and then tugging at his shirt in an attempt to straighten it. “This is worse than being checked out in the club.”
“You’re pretty self-conscious, aren’t you, Pumpkin?” Nick teased, grabbing Jeremy’s hand to hold it still.
“Not once you get a few drinks in me.”
“Are you trying to get me to take you on another practice date?” Nick asked, his lip twitching up.
He knew J hadn’t meant that, but he also figured he could probably talk him into it. He laced their fingers together, figuring that was a good boyfriend-ish thing to do, straight or gay. And sure, maybe now Nick was looking for an excuse to touch him again, but J didn’t seem to mind.
Jeremy raised an eyebrow, eyes sparkling. “I thought we were breaking up?”
“Now who’s the sweet talker?”
“I’ve decided to try a new dating strategy,” Jeremy said, grinning. “Faking it and planning the break up from the beginning seem to be working pretty well for me so far. Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong.”
Nick laughed, shaking his head. Jeremy had told him a few of his dating horror stories on the drive over, but for all of J’s self-deprecating humor about his horrible taste in men, Nick was 100% sure that it wasn’t Jeremy who had made those previous relationships go south. From the sound of it, he definitely had a bad habit of hooking up with the wrong sort of guy.
“You’ve just been holding out for Mr. Right,” Nick said.
Jeremy rolled his eyes. “I’ve been telling myself that for years,” he said. “But for real, I’m not sure he exists.”
The pang of disappointment Nick felt at that proved that he really was getting into character, but who was he kidding? There was no way Jeremy would ever see Nick as his dream man, even if he had been gay. Not with their differences. Still, it was lucky for him that J hadn’t found the real thing yet, because if he had, Nick never would have had the chance to fake it with him. And while there were some things Nick would never be good at, faking it when necessary was definitely one of his skills. He smiled ruefully at the thought, pushing away his misplaced disappointment. He dropped Jeremy’s hand and led him over to the climbing wall, determined not to let anything spoil the day.
“I’m sure there’s someone out there for you, J,” he said, meaning it. There was no way it wasn’t true. Jeremy was great. “But until he shows up, you’re welcome to keep me around for practice.”
Jeremy laughed. “Careful, Nick. I just might hold you to that.”
Nick grinned, a tightness he hadn’t realized was there suddenly easing in his chest.
He hoped so.
There was a lot he’d still like to do with Jeremy, starting with the wall in front of them.
Nick slipped his Bluetooth headset on as he got back in the truck after dropping Jeremy off at Sir Reads-a-lot. His phone had buzzed earlier, a text from Beck with a little phone emoji but no clock: Call me, but whenever. Seattle was two hours behind Tulsa, so even though he’d managed to keep Jeremy out a little late, he knew Beck would still be up.
Climbing with J had been a blast. Jeremy had gotten over his fear of heights—well, maybe not “over,” but just like Nick had expected, he’d pushed through it—and ended up doing a thirty-foot wall before they left. His excitement at the accomplishment had been cute as hell, and he’d already mentioned doing it again sometime.
Nick knew his schedule at the gym was pretty packed over the next week, and with Heather working on her new case, he’d have Ava for most of his off hours. Still, he was already thinking about whether he’d be able to squeeze in some more time with Jeremy before they went to Candi’s dinner the next weekend. Given his schedule, he wasn’t sure if he could make it happen, but at least he had the thing at Candi’s to look forward to.
Nick tapped the hotkey for Beck as he pulled away from Jeremy’s place. There was a bakery down the street from J’s bookstore, and Nick made a mental note, since he’d noticed that his FBF had a sweet tooth. Two men were standing at the door, apparently locking up for the night, and the way the bigger one had his hand on the blond’s lower back made it clear that they were a couple. The sight made Nick smile as he made a mental note of the move. He was already planning to step up his fake boyfriend act the next time he got a chance.
“What up, Starboy?” Beck’s voice sounded in his ear.
“This a good time?”
“Perfect. Just got off the phone with your mom, actually, so it must be my Roberts family hour.”
Nick smiled. He’d known Beck practically all his life, and they used to joke that between the two of them, they almost made one complete family. “Almost,” because Beck’s father was no prize, either. Nick knew his mother considered Beck a second son, and since Beck didn’t have a mother of his own, Beck had adopted Linda as his own just as readily… something that was especially reassuring now that Nick wasn’t around to make sure she was taken care of.
As a single mother without a lot of marketable skills other than her perpetually cheerful attitude, Linda Roberts had held down three jobs throughout most of his childhood just to make ends meet. She’d never complained about it, or criticized his absentee father, but Nick had decided at an early age that as soon as he was able, he would do whatever he could to make her life easier. Leaving her on her own had been the hardest part of his decision to follow Ava out of state, but in the end, he didn’t see how he could have done anything differently. Not having his own father around had been difficult in many ways, and he was determined to make sure that Ava had a different kind of childhood than he’d had.
Jack Carson, Nick’s father, had never been a part of his life. Or more accurately, he’d been just enough of a part of it to cause problems. He’d never married Linda or wanted any part of the responsibility of raising his son, but, throughout Nick’s childhood, that hadn’t stopped him from showing up every now and then to try and wheedle money and favors and less savory things from her. Jack had often tried to play the father card in those situations, but his actual interest in Nick’s life had been zero. Nick would have preferred no father to one who occasionally got his hopes up, and one of the many reasons he loved Beck was for his friend’s tongue-in-cheek insistence that Jack was not, in fact, Nick’s father.
Beck’s maternal grandfather had told the two of them a Blackfoot legend when they were young, and Beck had latched onto it and claimed that it was actually Nick’s story. Beck insisted t
hat Linda was secretly Feather Woman, a beautiful girl who’d married the Morning Star, child of the Sun and the Moon. She’d eventually been banished back to earth with her son, Starboy, and used Jack Carson as a way to keep her identity hidden. Whenever Nick’s father had done something particularly unpleasant, Beck would try to make him feel better by “reminding” him that the man wasn’t his real father. And, in addition to sparking Nick’s interest in the stars, the story had made it easier to let Jack’s constant disappointments roll off his back.
Nick was determined never to give Ava a reason to need make-believe to justify him letting her down, though. As far as he was concerned, being there for his daughter was his number-one priority. He may not be the perfect father, but at least she would grow up knowing that he always put her first.
“How’s Feather doing?” he asked Beck, using the nickname they’d given his mother from Beck’s grandfather’s story. “I haven’t talked to her for a few days.”
“She’s good. Did she tell you she’s started volunteering down at the pet shelter? She misses you and Aves, of course, but it’s been good for her.”
“She mentioned she was thinking of it, yeah,” Nick said. “Didn’t realize she’d started, though. I’m gonna guess that she’ll give in and adopt one of her own by the time I get back there for the Mudder.” He hoped she would. Even with Beck checking in on her, he hated to think of his mother alone.
Beck laughed. “No doubt. She’s already been pushing me to come in and take a look, but you know my schedule would make caring for a pet impossible.”
“I hope you’re not using work as an excuse to avoid your training, though. You know you’re not gonna make it through the mud run if you start slacking.”
“Oh, I’ll make it through,” Beck said, laughing. “You think I can’t stay motivated without you here, nipping at my heels?”
The two of them had been doing the annual Seattle Tough Mudder for years. It wasn’t the only mud run they’d participated in, but Nick had always loved the way this particular one emphasized teamwork. There were a group of their friends that generally entered the race together as a team—some members more committed than others—and for all his needling, he had no doubt that Beck would be ready for it. He loved pushing himself as much as Nick did, and the only time either one of them had missed it had been when Nick was recovering from knee surgery for the injury that had ended his college baseball career.
The Delicious Series: The First Volume Page 49