“Like what you see?” Cassius asked, crossing his arms and leaning one shoulder against the door frame, blocking the entrance. “‘Cause I’ve got somewhere to be in a few, but I’m free later tonight…?”
Maybe Jeremy didn’t care. Maybe this asshole was just a hookup for him. But still, Nick was having a hard time convincing himself not to take the smirk off the guy’s face with his fist. He wasn’t normally a violent person, but the fact that the dickhead had had what Nick never would—and didn’t even fucking appreciate it—was almost more than he could take.
For all his air of amused relaxation, the cocky shit carried himself like a soldier—as if he could snap from laid-back to dangerous in the blink of an eye—but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe if he could hold his own, it would give Nick a chance to burn off a little of the angry disappointment boiling inside him.
The hurt.
He’d really thought that Jeremy felt something for him, too. Something real. Something that a week apart shouldn’t have been enough time to move on from. It definitely hadn’t been long enough for Nick.
In fact, he wasn’t sure how long getting over Jeremy would take.
Or if it was even possible.
“No?” the asshole asked, seeming to be perfectly content carrying the entire conversation on his own. Cassius’s lips twitched with amusement when he added, “Guess I’ll just hang with Jeremy, then. He’s always up for a good time.”
Fucking Christ. The idea of him putting his hands on Jeremy… of J wanting him to… Nick was either going to kill the guy, or be sick. Possibly both.
“You’re looking a little pale there, buddy,” Cassius said, his eyes sparkling as he took in Nick’s expression. “You wanna come inside? Maybe you should sit down while you wait for my… Jeremy.”
His Jeremy?
Nick felt himself deflate. Even if the guy was a royal asshole, if he was what Jeremy wanted, it wasn’t Nick’s place to object. Nick had gotten used to thinking of Jeremy as his—his FBF, his favorite thing in Tulsa, the best part of his day—but it was looking like he’d lost the right to make it real when he’d let Jeremy walk away at the park.
“Seriously, come in,” Cassius said, stepping aside so Nick could. As if Cassius owned the place. As if he were the one with a right to invite Nick into Jeremy’s home.
“No,” Nick choked out, needing to leave. Needing air. “I can’t—”
Breathe.
He turned to go, but Cassius’s hand snapped out almost too fast to see, grabbing his arm and stopping him.
“Hey, I’m just fucking with you,” he said, his eyes softening. “I’m guessing you’re Nick?”
He would have shaken the hand off—ripped or not, the guy didn’t have anything on Nick—but before he could, Jeremy walked into the living room, toweling his hair dry and looking exactly like everything Nick had been too late to figure out he needed.
“Hey, Cash, have you seen my—” Jeremy caught sight of Nick and froze for a second. “Nick?”
J sounded incredulous—happy—his eyes going from shocked to glowing faster than Nick could catch his breath. He was wearing a pair of cute-as-fuck, slightly dorky glasses, rather than his usual contacts—the thick, black rims giving him a bit of a sexy-librarian vibe that Nick could definitely get used to—but even hidden behind them, Nick could see the way his eyes lit up like the sun.
It thawed the chill inside him, warming up something that felt a lot like hope.
Nick shook off Cassius’s hand, brushing past him and then forgetting about him.
Now that Jeremy was here, Nick honestly couldn’t understand how he’d stayed away for so long. Regardless of whatever was going on with the asshole who’d answer the door, Nick couldn’t have left now, even if he’d tried.
Not without saying what he’d come to.
Any worry about finding the right words disappeared. Even if it didn’t end up coming out exactly right, Nick knew what needed to be said.
I’m sorry.
I want you.
I need you.
This is real for me.
Please…
Nick closed the distance between them, drawn to Jeremy like a magnet, but stopped himself from reaching out when he saw uncertainty flicker in J’s eyes. Jeremy twisted the towel in his hands, shifting his weight nervously, the excitement that had lit him up when he’d first caught sight of Nick now clouded by visible doubts.
“What are you doing here, Nick?” he asked, his voice guarded.
Cassius laughed. “Well, he certainly didn’t come to see me,” he said, crossing the room and grabbing a half-open duffle bag near the couch.
“Cash,” Jeremy snapped, his irritated tone making Nick want to kiss him.
Although really, Nick had wanted to do that from the minute J had first walked into the room.
“Don’t mind me,” Cash said, eyes sparkling as he left the room. “I’ll just leave you two alone so you can kiss and make up.”
His absence left an awkward silence, and when the bathroom door closed from down the hall, the sound reminded Nick of what he’d walked in on.
“We’re about to leave,” Jeremy said, the “we” stabbing Nick in the heart. Then, sounding hurt, J added, “You didn’t call.”
Jeremy’s hair was still wet from the shower.
Cash had obviously spent the night.
“I didn’t realize you had company,” Nick snapped back.
Shit. He wanted to take back the words as soon as they left his mouth. He’d let his own doubts scare him into lashing out, and now, instead of saying what had been on the tip of his tongue just a moment ago—I’m sorry, I need you—he’d gone and fucked it up again the moment he’d opened his mouth.
“Company?” Jeremy repeated, his eyes widening at Nick’s harsh tone. He looked back over his shoulder—the direction Cash had gone—before turning back to face Nick.
“I’m sorry,” Nick said, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “I know it’s not my business—”
“Are you… jealous?” Jeremy interrupted, sounding more than a little bit delighted by the idea. He smiled, then covered his mouth with one hand as if he was trying to hide it. “Of Cash?”
Nick thought about denying it. He wasn’t proud of it, and knew it wasn’t his place to be. But fuck it, he was through holding things back from Jeremy, even if it made him look like an ass.
“Yup,” he said tightly, shoving his hands into his pockets and rocking back on his heels.
“He flew in for Gavin’s wedding,” Jeremy said, the glow back in his eyes. “Cash is my cousin, in case it matters. Not… anything else.”
Nick let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, relief flooding through him. Jesus. Really? Cash wasn’t some hookup who Jeremy had replaced him with?
He still wanted to punch the guy for egging him on when he’d obviously known why Nick had come, but he couldn’t really hold on to his annoyance when J was looking at him his heart on his sleeve. The mix of hope and uncertainty in Jeremy’s eyes told Nick that he’d been an idiot, about all of it.
For taking so long to figure out how he felt.
For holding back once he had.
For giving up when he should have held on.
For ever letting Jeremy doubt him.
And most of all, for not telling J how he felt the minute he’d walked in the door.
He could fix the last one now, at least, and the way Jeremy was looking at him, he was feeling pretty optimistic that he’d get a chance to make up for the rest, later.
“It matters,” Nick said, finally giving himself permission to reach for Jeremy. He captured J’s hand, pulling him close, and traced the Summer Triangle on Jeremy’s wrist with his finger. “Legend has it that the lovers—” he touched the freckles for Vega and Altair, the stars that represented the mythical lovers. “—could only see each other for one day each year.”
“I remember,” Jeremy said, his shoulders slumping. “No long-distance r
elationships for you.”
“I always thought it must have sucked for them, to be separated from the person they loved. But I was wrong, Pumpkin,” Nick said, the nickname causing the pulse in J’s wrist to visibly flutter. Nick smiled, kissing it. “What matters isn’t the time apart, it’s the day they get to be together. When it matters, sometimes is always better than never.”
Jeremy’s eyes widened behind his cute little glasses, and without taking his eyes off Nick’s, he reached over and pinched the inside of his own elbow.
“Ow,” he said, flinching.
“What are you doing?” Nick asked, laughing at the expression on J’s face.
The spot he’d pinched had turned cherry-red—dude had really let himself have it—and Nick kissed that, too, just because he could. Jeremy shivered, which made Nick want to make it happen again.
“I’m awake,” Jeremy stated, as if the fact surprised him. Then, when Nick’s lips kept traveling up his arm, leaving a trail of delicious-looking little quivers in their wake, he added, “I’m definitely… awake.”
Nick laughed.
“You thought you were dreaming?” he asked, tugging the collar of Jeremy’s t-shirt down. He wanted to get his lips on the warm skin at the base of J’s throat. He knew they had to talk, but now that he’d started kissing Jeremy, he didn’t want to stop. Not when there was so much of him that Nick hadn’t had the chance to taste yet.
“Oh my God,” Jeremy whispered, tipping his head back to give Nick easy access. “Um, that would be a yes about the dreaming. You have a way of starring in mine, especially when they start out like this.”
Nick grinned. The same thing had happened for him. More than once.
He licked his way up Jeremy’s throat, stopping just below his ear. “Are you saying I am the man of your dreams, J?” he teased, a reminder of what Jeremy had written in the Facebook post that had brought them together.
“No,” Jeremy said, sounding a little breathless. “You’re better. You’re real.”
Nick tightened his arms around Jeremy, burying his face against J’s neck for a moment as emotion rushed up inside him like a tidal wave. It was going to work out. He still didn’t know exactly how, but Jeremy was back in his arms—wanted to be—and all the despair of the last week fell away, leaving him feeling almost euphoric.
“Wait,” Jeremy said, pushing Nick off him, just far enough that he could look into his eyes. He pushed his sexy-librarian glasses up on the bridge of his nose, frowning in concentration. “Is this real? Are we talking about the same thing, here? You don’t just want to keep being my fake boyfriend, long distance, right? Because I’m all for the sometimes-not-never plan—like, seriously, I’m completely, absolutely, fully on board with that plan—but I just want to make sure you mean what I think you mean. That you really want to be, um, my real boyfriend, like, for real.”
Nick laughed, feeling almost giddy with the relief of knowing that he hadn’t lost this man who meant everything to him.
“Nick,” Jeremy said, smacking his chest. Sounding frustrated and hopeful and impatient and excited, all at once. “What does that laugh mean? Spell it out for me.”
Nick rested his forehead against J’s, wanting to get back to kissing him, but wanting to give him what he’d asked for, more.
“I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend anymore,” Nick said, smoothing a hand over the cowlick that always popped up in the back of Jeremy’s hair before settling it around the back of J’s neck. “This is real for me. It has been for a while, and even if I have to leave you, I don’t want to let you go. I don’t know how—”
Jeremy kissed him.
“I need you, J,” Nick said, smiling against his lips.
Jeremy made his adorable little rabbit squeak sound, kissing him harder.
“I want this,” Nick said, running his hands down the curve of Jeremy’s spine to settle at his hips. Pulling him close. Whispering more words between rounds of eager kisses, to make sure that J wouldn’t ever doubt Nick’s intentions again. “I want you. I want to make it work, even if it has to be long distance. I want…”
You.
Forever.
Even if it’s too soon.
Even if I don’t know how to make it happen.
Nick stopped trying to talk. Even though Jeremy had asked him spell it out, he seemed more intent on using Nick’s mouth for other purposes at the moment, and that was 100% fine with Nick. The words would wait. J’s arms had ended up wrapped around his waist, and just like at the park, he marveled at how perfectly their bodies fit together, like two puzzle pieces.
Nick could feel Jeremy’s heart beating against his chest, the rhythm filling him, moving through him, promising a future that he hadn’t even known he wanted before meeting J, then hadn’t believed was possible once he thought he’d lost him.
Now that it was finally within his grasp, Nick wasn’t going to let go again.
Together, they’d either find a way to hold on to it, or make one.
“Looks like I haven’t lost my touch,” Cash said, laughter in his voice as he sauntered back into the room, fully dressed. “Every time I come to town, I make magic happen. Maybe you should start calling me the straight-man whisperer.”
Nick tried to feel annoyed at the interruption, especially when it caused J to come up for air, but with his FBF—no, they’d just officially dropped the first F, hadn’t they?—with his boyfriend looking at him like that, his heart felt too big to contain, and there just wasn’t any room left over for annoyance. Besides, Cash’s interruption may have broken their kiss, but J was still pressed up against him, arms wound around his body and hands roaming over Nick’s back possessively.
J was definitely not one to hold back once he decided to do something. A winning personality trait, in Nick’s opinion.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Cash went on, almost sounding like he really meant it. Maybe the guy wasn’t a total dickhead, after all. “But Gavin just called. Sherri’s waiting for us next door for the tux fitting. She’s got another appointment right after, so sounds like we’ve got to get going if we’re going to do this, Jeremy.”
“You busy tonight, Pumpkin?” Nick asked, ignoring Cash to focus on what was important. He may not have come over with a plan in mind, but now that he had Jeremy back, he wanted all of him that he could get.
“I hope so,” J said, giving him a cheeky grin that had just enough heat in it to make Nick want to rephrase his question, changing “tonight” to “right now.”
Except he knew that Jeremy was busy right now. Which also reminded him that he had somewhere to be, too. When Heather had called earlier, she’d told him that she had to work late to wrap up her final case that night, which meant—
“I’ve got to go get Ava,” Nick said, knowing that meant the heat factor would have to wait, but still hoping Jeremy would say yes to seeing him later. Nick didn’t want to be away from him any more than he had to during whatever time he had left here in Tulsa. The last week apart had been seven days too long. “She’s staying the night with me, but if you still want to—”
“Yes,” Jeremy said, cutting him off.
Nick grinned. Okay. Apparently Jeremy felt the same.
“I can’t promise anything romantic,” Nick said. “You know I suck at that sort of thing even when Ava isn’t around, but if you—”
“Yes.”
“—want to come over and—”
“Yes.”
“—play Uno with us—”
“Yes.”
“You should make me work for it a little, J,” Nick said, laughing.
Cash cleared his throat, shooting an apologetic glance at the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs, Jeremy.”
Jeremy nodded at Cash without taking his eyes off Nick.
“You want me to make you work for it?” Jeremy asked, eyes sparkling.
J bit his lip, clearly trying to hold back the smile that was brimming just under the surface, and damn if the sight didn’t make
Nick want to bite that lip, too. Jeremy leaned in as if he was going to give him what he wanted, but the little tease stopped just close enough for Nick to taste his breath. All the bubbling happiness Nick had been feeling instantly morphed into something about a thousand degrees hotter, shooting straight down to his cock and making his hips roll against J with an urgent mind of their own.
“Oh, I’ll make you work for it,” Jeremy promised, the decidedly wicked smile he’d been trying to contain finally breaking free at the sound of Nick’s needy groan. “But I’ll save that for after Ava goes to bed.”
Nick made himself let go.
Which was hard.
But not as hard as the cock he tried to adjust discreetly as the two of them left Jeremy’s apartment.
Nick scrubbed a hand over his face as he started up his truck, laughing ruefully. He felt like a randy teenager. Just how was he supposed to drive in this condition? A condition that hadn’t been helped at all by the view as he’d followed J down the stairs. Or the way Jeremy had sent him off with a kiss that probably shouldn’t have been allowed out in public. Or—God—the decidedly NSFW images that swirled in his head as he tried to imagine exactly what would qualify as “working for it,” according to Jeremy.
He checked in with Siri for the time, mentally calculating how many hours were left until he’d get to find out.
Too many.
Although it was definitely going to be an early night.
For Ava, at least.
13
Jeremy
“But I’m not tired, Daddy,” Ava said, stifling a yawn as she gave him puppy dog eyes that Jeremy would have found it physically impossible to resist giving in to. “Can’t we play one more round? Pleeeeeeease?”
Apparently Nick was a stronger man than Jeremy, because he didn’t even act fazed by the overload of cuteness.
“Nope. You’ve already cleaned house, Sprout,” he said, ruffling her hair as he reminded her of her total domination in the cut-throat, hour long Uno marathon they’d just completed. “And if you don’t get to bed now, you’ll be too tired to help me with pancakes in the morning.”
The Delicious Series: The First Volume Page 59