He was going to sell Sir Reads-a-lot to Kelley.
Gavin and Ben had helped him get the ball rolling, and Kelley hadn’t been able to contain her excitement when he’d proposed it to her, gushing a tidal wave of thanks as she’d hugged him madly, then promptly bursting into happy tears. Gavin had gone on and on about things like owner financing and keeping the building as an asset and the tax benefits of depreciating the rental income from the store and the apartment above it, but even though Jeremy had nodded along and been happy to hear it, most of it had gone in one ear and out the other. The only part that had really stuck was the first bit—when he’d asked Gavin if it could work, and Gavin had said yes.
Jeremy grinned, leaning back in his seat and glancing at the keep-seatbelts-fastened light overhead impatiently as the plane’s wheels hit the runway. They were safely on the ground, right? Why was it still lit? Not like he could go anywhere yet, technically, but still, unbuckling his seat belt would have felt like progress, at least.
But fine.
He wasn’t going to complain.
Not when it felt like everything he’d ever wanted was coming together, all at once.
There had been more than a few times over the last couple of weeks when he’d given in and used the pinch test to double-check that he really, truly wasn’t just stuck in one of those horrible dreams. The ones that were so perfect, so wonderful, that they fooled you, but then made you want to cry when you woke up, since real life was never, ever as good.
Case in point: Getting that acceptance letter from the literary agent. The thought still made him want to squeal with excitement, and—even though there was still a long way to go from having her shop his manuscripts around to actually getting something published—the fact that it was actually happening was enough to make him believe that anything was possible.
Case in point number two: Moving to Seattle.
Well, possibly moving.
Depending on Nick.
Jeremy nibbled his lip, trying to quell the nerves that sprang to life at the thought. Nick didn’t know about Jeremy’s plans to sell the bookstore yet.
At first, Jeremy hadn’t told him because he hadn’t known if it was even possible, so hadn’t wanted to get either of their hopes up. And then, after Gavin and Ben had helped him figure out how it could work, he’d still hesitated.
“This is a pretty big decision to be making for someone you’ve only known for six months, Jeremy,” Gavin had said when Jeremy had first talked to him about the idea, looking concerned.
And Gavin had been right.
Sort of.
Yes, it was a big decision, but the truth was, Jeremy wasn’t doing it for Nick. Well, okay, yes, of course he was, but not only for Nick. It had just never occurred to him to sell the business before that conversation with Kelley. And honestly, it still probably wouldn’t have, even then, if it hadn’t been for the situation with Nick.
Sir Reads-a-lot was just what he did. What he’d always done. He hadn’t chosen it, and even if he didn’t love it, he also couldn’t claim to totally hate it. It was just… there. He’d been tied to it for so long that it had become part of his identity, and it had simply never crossed his mind that he might do something different.
But then, once the idea took root in his head, he hadn’t been able to get it out.
He’d felt energized and excited about the possibility—not just about being free to move to Seattle if it turned out Nick wanted him to—but about being free, period. Of not having to struggle through figuring out all the business-ownership bits that came with the store, the things he couldn’t have cared less about and wasn’t good at, even when he tried.
His grandmother had first opened the store’s doors when he was just a boy. The bookstore had been her passion, and also Jeremy’s refuge while he was growing up. She’d made it a fixture in the community, and when she’d left it to him—passing away unexpectedly when he was just twenty years old—the loving generosity of the gesture had meant the world to him. He’d been truly grateful to be able to hold on to the comforting familiarity of the place that had always felt like his home away from home, ecstatic to be surrounded by books all day, thankful that he’d never had to worry about finding a place to live or hunting for a job… but if he were honest, it had also been a burden.
Even though he’d stocked shelves and helped at the front counter and been head of, um, “quality control” ever since he could remember, actually being responsible for running the business side was something he’d had little experience and even less interest in. He’d just never been good at it, and didn’t particularly want to learn to be. Sir Reads-a-lot was his security blanket, but also a crutch that had meant he’d been able to coast through life without ever figuring out what he really wanted to do himself.
It had meant that he’d never needed to push himself into being J2oh.
But now, even if things didn’t work out with Nick—and oh God, just the thought made him want to vomit—but if they didn’t, he still wanted to sell it. He wanted to be free of it, and the fact that he could help Kelley fulfill her dream at the same time felt like one of those perfect moments of destined synchronicity. Really, if he were going to be optimistic about it, or consider it a sign, or let himself believe in things like fate and destiny and wishes coming true, then it pretty much meant that things had to work out, right?
Jeremy wanted to move on, and what he really wanted to move on to was this.
Seattle.
Nick.
But even if Jeremy’s initial reason for keeping the whole selling Sir Reads-a-lot thing to himself had been because he hadn’t wanted to say anything until he found out if the sale could even happen at all, now that he knew it could—that it was—he’d still held back from telling Nick.
Which, honestly, felt a little weird.
They talked every day. Jeremy loved hearing about everything from Nick’s gym clients to Ava’s latest adventure, and Nick seemed equally as eager to stay up to date on the details of his life. He just didn’t keep secrets from Nick. Didn’t even want to. But with this, if Nick did ask him to move to Seattle, Jeremy needed to know that it was 100% because Nick wanted it, too, and not because he felt the way Gavin had—that Jeremy had made a huge, life changing choice, just for Nick.
Jeremy didn’t want Nick to feel any pressure.
He’d given it a lot of thought, like, ridiculous amounts, and even though moving would mean that he’d genuinely miss his friends, and even some parts of Tulsa—well, more because of familiarity than because there was anything in particular that he loved about the city—there wouldn’t really be anything to tie him down there once the bookstore was off his hands.
Besides, he could always go back and visit.
And yes, Gavin was right, he’d only known Nick for six months, but Jeremy loved him. Loved him, even if he hadn’t had the guts to say it yet… to say it first. And, as cheesy as it sounded, Jeremy really didn’t want to live without him. Not in a morbid sense of course—because, ew—but if there was one thing that spending the summer apart had proven to him, it was that a) he’d take Nick in his life any way he could get him, even long-distance, but that also, b) live and in person was better.
And by better, he meant worth working to make happen. Putting in the effort. Making sacrifices, even the big ones.
Jeremy would gladly—well, okay, willingly, at least—give up lifetime access to Facebook, his Kindle and his Kindle Unlimited membership, and even chocolate, if that was what it took. Which, thankfully, would not be required. But he was definitely, for sure, willing to give up all the things that mattered to him back in Tulsa, for the one thing that mattered most.
The other half of his heart.
The pilot finally decided to stop torturing him and turn the damn seat belt light off, and his previously comatose seat mate perked up as if all the coffee that Seattle was famous for had suddenly hit him through some kind of weird environmental caffeinated osmosis or something. The m
an was up and out of his seat before Jeremy had even managed to unbuckle himself, and Jeremy shouldered his backpack and followed him off the plane, grinning as he had a mental image of greeting Nick in a total Hugh Grant-Martine McCutcheon Love Actually airport moment.
Well, except of course without all the paparazzi.
And, technically, he’d want the Natalie role, where he got to jump up and wrap his legs around Hugh Grant’s—er, Nick’s—waist and smother him in kisses.Which, technically, would disqualify it as a full-fledged Love Actually reenactment, since in the movie, Natalie had been the one waiting for her man, not the one getting off the plane… but whatever. The point was that a) he was totally going to attack his man when he saw him, although probably not to the point of having his feet leave the ground, and b) since pesky airport regulations meant that Nick couldn’t meet him at the gate—another movie-moment recreation fail—walking through the airport to find him was giving Jeremy way too much time for nerves to set in.
For real, he was nervous.
Well, mostly excited.
But also nervous.
Nervously excited.
He’d debated whether or not to ask Nick about the moving to Seattle thing as soon as he saw him—well, probably after the sex, because Jeremy could already tell that he was going to have a hard time concentrating on anything but that until they got round one out of the way—but he’d decided to wait to say anything.
After all, he should maybe see if he even liked Seattle.
And if he and Nick still had the same chemistry they’d had before.
And find out if living together—well, just for a couple of weeks, but still—probably best to test-drive the idea and see if it seemed like something that would actually work out. Especially given Jeremy’s propensity to leave the cap off the toothpaste, and Nick’s strong feelings on the matter.
Okay. No.
He huffed out a breath, staring blindly at the neon green running shoes of the wrinkled little old man who was shuffling along in front of him—Jeremy was totally going to wear shoes like that when he was old, seriously, Grandpa had style—and doing his best to stop lying to himself.
The truth was, he wasn’t worried about any of those things.
The real reason he’d decided to wait to bring it up—well, reasons, plural—was because a) Nick had never actually asked him to move to Seattle. In fact, b) he’d never even hinted at it, despite making it abundantly clear that he missed Jeremy, too, and c) even though Jeremy knew for sure that Nick was excited about this visit, d) the man’s failure to bring up the possibility of ever taking the “long distance” out of their long-distance relationship definitely fed the doubting 1% inside him, that annoying part that still couldn’t quite believe that his real-life story was destined to have the happy ending he wanted.
And it’s not like Jeremy wasn’t willing to bring it up, ever—seriously, there was no way he was flying back to Tulsa without finding out if Nick wanted him to stay in Seattle, too—but for now, he’d just decided to hold off being the one to actually start the conversation, at least at first. Because in addition to all the other letters of the alphabet that were holding him back, there was also e).
Which he knew was stupid.
Or, at the least, not very J2oh.
But Jeremy couldn’t help it; he wanted Nick to be the one to ask.
The part of him that had gotten his hopes up too many times in the past, only to have them dashed, the part that had been convinced—long before Nick—that having it all just wasn’t in the stars for him, that despite every moment of Nick making him feel loved, even if he hadn’t ever actually said the words, that part needed 100% confirmation that Nick really, truly wanted him, too.
“Hey, Pumpkin.”
Jeremy’s head snapped up, every cell in his body reacting to the sound of Nick’s voice. He’d been so lost in the nervous-excited-worried-excited mental overthinking loop of his thoughts that he’d actually managed to make it all the way through the concourse and out the security doors without paying any attention to his surroundings. But even before Nick reached him—pushing away from the wall he’d been leaning against and covering the short distance between them in two strides, looking so real and so hot and so here that it almost made Jeremy’s head spin—his voice reached out and wrapped around Jeremy like an embrace, wound its way into his heart like it belonged there, echoed with every memory they’d already made together, and the promise of all the ones Jeremy still hoped for.
His mouth stretched into a smile so big that it felt like it went past the edges of his face, but there was no way to stop it, slow it down, contain it. He didn’t even want to. Because… Nick.
Just seeing him made Jeremy’s heart feel like one of those Fourth of July fireworks, the big ones that exploded in the sky and lit up everything around them with impossibly beautiful, sparkling light. All the nervous jitters and worried thoughts that had seemed so all-consuming just a moment before evaporated in an instant, disappearing in a poof of giddy excitement that had his whole body thrumming with barely-suppressed joy. It rose up so fast that it felt like a physical sensation, a tingling, warm wave of happiness that spilled out of him, bursting forth in a splash of happy laughter.
And then Nick’s arms went around him, feeling exactly like coming home, and Nick was kissing him. Pulling Jeremy against him and holding him like he never wanted to let him go. Making him forget where they were, or who might be watching, or what he’d ever been worried about in the first place.
This was it.
Nick was his happy place.
And now that he’d found his way back to it, he didn’t ever want to leave.
19
Jeremy
“Oh, God. Maybe we should leave.” Jeremy whispered the words under his breath, quietly enough that Nick wouldn’t hear them.
Or maybe not.
His boyfriend turned off the Jeep and swiveled in his seat to face him.
“It will be fine, Pumpkin,” Nick said, squeezing his knee. “You’ll have fun, I promise.”
Jeremy swallowed, looking out at the mass of much-more-bad-ass-than-him-looking people waiting for the start of the Tough Mudder. Up until now, he’d actually been pretty impressed with himself for following Nick’s training program all summer, but even though he was now in much better shape than, well, basically any other point in his life, ever, it was sinking in that he was actually going to have to put that to the test against twelve miles of obstacles that had been specifically designed to push people way more hardcore than him to their limits.
“Oh, God. Nick, for real, I think I’m only going to slow you down.”
“Nope.”
“No, really, I mean, I appreciate your faith in me, but—”
“J, you can’t slow me down, because it’s not a race. It’s a challenge, and it’s one we’re going to get through together. Team Us. It’s not about whether you kill it on every obstacle or not, it’s just about getting out there and pushing yourself, not against anyone else, but against your own ability.”
Jeremy nibbled his lip, trying not to feel sick from the butterfly rave happening in his stomach.
“Um, I’m not sure my ability is up to this.”
“I am,” Nick said, hopping out of the Jeep with a warm, confident smile. “Come on, J. You know I’ve always got your back. And trust me, there’s no way you, of all people, can fail at this—” he slammed the Jeep’s door, walking around and taking Jeremy’s hand to tug him out of the other one, “—because you always give everything your all, and doing that is how you win at this, regardless of finishing times or skipped obstacles or even crossing the finish line.”
It sounded good when Nick said it like that, but—
“Don’t worry, Pumpkin,” Nick said, doing a fairly decent job of making his “don’t worry” advice happen by crowding Jeremy up against the side of the Jeep and running his hands up Jeremy’s sides in a deliciously distracting bid to get his mind off what they were about
to do. But then, instead of taking it any farther—which, fine, was probably for the best since that wasn’t really what they had come for… even though the truth was that Jeremy was basically down for taking things farther with Nick, any time, any place, regardless—Nick broke into a huge smile and stepped back, saying, “Hey, there’s Beck. Let me introduce you.”
“Yo, Starboy,” a ridiculously hot man wearing a yellow headband called out. Not that he held a candle to Nick, of course, but… holy shit. The man was definitely noteworthy. “I was wondering if you were going to come up for air in time for the Mudder.”
Nick laughed, pulling Jeremy over to the small group of men and women dressed in matching orange and black t-shirts. Cash was one of them, and Jeremy grinned, giving his cousin a quick, one-armed hug as Nick was greeted by the rest of the group. His cousin and Nick had gotten over their rocky start and had actually become friends now that they were both in Seattle, and Jeremy had been thrilled to hear that Cash had decided to do the Mudder with them. He didn’t get to see enough of his cousin, and it tickled him that the only two people he knew in Seattle had hit it off.
“Your plane get delayed, Jeremy?” Cash asked, his expression pure innocence. “’Cause I haven’t heard from you, but I would have sworn you were supposed to fly in four days ago. Been… busy?”
Jeremy’s smile got even bigger. Um, yes. God, he’d really missed Nick. In many ways, of course, but damnnnnnnnnn. In bed was definitely one of them.
Cash laughed. “At least I finally got you out here,” he said. “If I’d known all it would take was the chance for you to come get dirty…”
Hottie McHotness clapped a hand on Cash’s shoulder, joining the conversation. “I’m guessing wanting to get dirty wasn’t what brought him to Seattle, Cash.” He held out a hand to Jeremy, adding, “Hi. I’m Beck. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Jeremy.”
The Delicious Series: The First Volume Page 66