by Melody Adams
Mommy's screams come from the living room. The door to the living room is ajar. I open the door a little further until I can see into the room behind. Mommy kneels on the floor. A man is kneeling behind her and he has his fingers in her hair at the back of her head. He hits her head on the floor. The carpet is thick, but I can tell by Mommy's scream that it hurts her. The man is hurting Mommy. Like Daddy hurts me sometimes.
"Is it your daddy? Is the man who hurts your mommy your daddy or your uncle?"
It's Daddy. Daddy's hurting Mommy.
"Please," Mommy cries. "Please. What about the baby? You could hurt the baby."
I don't understand what Mommy means. What baby are they talking about?
"All the better," Daddy growls. He moved faster behind Mommy. "Do you think I want Dan's bastard in my house?"
"Please! It's not the baby's fault," Mommy sobs.
Daddy pushes Mommy away, and she lands on her stomach with a scream. Then daddy turns her over on her back and hits mommy's tummy. Mommy screams terribly and fights back, but Daddy is stronger. I am paralyzed with fear. I'm afraid for Mommy. And I'm afraid that Daddy will see me and hurt me too. I have to do something. What can I do? My eyes fall on the sabers hanging on the wall above the dresser. They look sharp. I tiptoe to the chest of drawers and carefully take one of the sabers out of its holder and turn towards Mommy and Daddy. Mommy is making funny noises. That scares me. I speed up my steps. I lift the saber above my head. It is heavy, but I must be strong. I have to save Mommy. I strike. I scream. So much blood. And Daddy's head. It's halfway off his neck. Mommy's screaming, too.
What did I do? Daddy? I'm sorry, Daddy. Daddy? Daaaaady! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it!
"Let go of the dream, Abby. You're awake in your safe place and the sky is blue and cloudless. It's all right, Abby. You're okay."
Chapter 19
Kent
Abby had been back for two weeks, but she refused to talk to me. Beth went to visit her grandmother for a while after the disaster at the party. She came back today, and I was tempted to find her and kill her. It was her fault that all this had happened. If she hadn't lied, we never would have gone on this damn vendetta. I just can't forgive the bitch. I didn't know that it was possible to hate someone the way I hated her. That Abby was here, in Sinners Field, in Sinners High, and yet so far away for me, was a torture like nothing I’d ever experienced.
"You'll get her back. Give her time," Nate said, patting me on the back. "And as for Beth, she'll get the toughest punishment we have. I will announce it shortly. She will wish she had never lied to us."
I nodded. To declare someone invisible was the hardest punishment we had. Especially for someone like Beth. She wouldn't have anyone else. Her Queen Bee status was history. No student, not even the teachers, would take her side. We controlled this school. Our word was law.
Nate got up from his seat and climbed onto the table.
"Can I have your attention, please!"
Abby
I wished I were eighteen at last, so I could get out of this hellhole. I wanted to start over somewhere where the past would not catch up with me. Where I would never have to look again into the face of the bastard who irreparably destroyed my heart.
"Can I have your attention please," Nate's voice suddenly sounded, and the conversations in the cafeteria fell silent.
My heart pounded hard, and my stomach was in a thousand knots. What were the KINGS up to now? Hadn't they caused enough trouble?
"It's about the video most of you saw at the party," Nate continued, and heat flooded my face. I wished I would sink into the ground. Tears burned in my eyes. "I want you all to listen to me carefully because I'm only going to say this once! First of all: Abby is not a whore or anything else. Anyone who calls her that will answer to the KINGS for it. The video was not meant for the public and the person responsible for it will be punished." Nate paused and a few soft murmuring voices arose. "BETH! You are the one who is responsible for this. You have fallen from grace with the KINGS. You know what that means."
Beth's outcry was heard and more excited murmuring. A commotion arose in the cafeteria and I couldn't understand Beth's words, but she seemed to plead with the KINGS.
"Enough," Nate yelled, and again there was silence.
"Please, Nate, do this," Beth pleaded.
"Beth, you have fallen from grace. You are nobody at this school. You are invisible from now on. Anyone who helps you or befriends you will be punished. You are alone, Beth!"
"Nooooo!" Beth screamed. "This is all Abigail's fault! I'll kill the damn bitch!"
I had been staring at my table during the speech, but when a commotion arose, I looked up and saw Beth storming toward my table, murder written in her eyes.
"Stop her," Nate yelled, and a couple of boys rushed forward and grabbed Beth, who was acting like a fury.
I had trouble understanding what was going on. What Nate had told the students. Someone poured a jar of honey over Beth. A girl came with a packet of flour and emptied it over Beth. They did to Beth what they had done to me. Beth screamed and howled like a wounded animal. Part of me felt for her because I knew what it felt like. But then I remembered all that I had suffered because of her, and I hardened my heart. She deserved what she got.
"People! – Silence! Kent wants to say a few words," Nate shouted.
I turned in the direction Nate's voice had come from. He stood on one of the tables. The other four KINGS stood around the table. Kent climbed up to Nate on the table and his eyes found me. It was like a punch to of my stomach. Again, tears came to my eyes.
"Abbygirl!" Nate said, keeping his eyes on me. "I'm so sorry, Abby. I never meant..."
That was all I understood, because the sound of my own blood rung so loud in my ears that it drowned all other noises. With my heart in my throat, I got up from my seat and fled the cafeteria. I could not bear this, could not listen to Kent or face him. I needed to get out of here. He broke my heart. He made me trust him against my better judgment. Made me lose my heart to him. But all the time, he only ever wanted to destroy me. Even if in the end he really developed feelings for me, it meant nothing to me. I could never forgive him for what he’d done to me. A damn video. Like my story was repeating itself over and over again. You'd think that the bullies would come up with something new, but no matter what school you went to, those assholes' dirty tricks were the same everywhere. Bastards.
"ABBYYYYY!" Kent shouted behind me. "WAIT!"
I ran faster. Steps sounded behind me. Someone grabbed me by my arm and I was stopped and spun around. I screamed.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Abby, please listen to me," Kent begged. "Let's go somewhere and talk in peace. After that, if you want me to leave you alone, I'll accept that. But please give me this one chance to explain to you... Please."
"WHAT FOR?" I yelled, writhing in his grip. "Nothing you can say will change anything. It doesn't change what you've done. It doesn't change the fact that the video existed. Whether you wanted to publish it in the end or not doesn't matter. The plan was that you were going to do it. You knew there was a fucking camera when we... when we..."
"Abby, please," Kent whispered in agony. Tears shone in his eyes. "I love you, baby. Please. Let's talk. Not here. Not like this. Somewhere where we can be alone. In peace. Please, Abby. I'm begging you. Don't throw away what we ha..."
"We don't have fucking anything," I interrupted him, seething with anger and hurt. "Nothing! You hear me? NOTHING!"
"Abby..."
"YOOUUUUU," a shrill voice sounded through the hallway. "You fucking bitch. You ruined my life!"
Suddenly, everything went haywire. Out of nowhere, Beth showed up with a knife in her hand. Everything happened so fast. Beth swung the knife to drive it into my chest, but the pain never came. Instead, Kent was suddenly in front of me. I fell backwards and landed hard on my butt. People screamed. Chaos broke out. When I got over the shock and looked around, I saw Kent on the
floor. And blood. So much blood.
"NOOOOO!" I screamed and threw myself over him.
I didn’t want to be here. This reminded me far too much of Mom's funeral. The hole in the ground appeared like a dark gorge that wanted to swallow me whole. The coffin had not yet been lowered into the ground. A priest spoke, but it sounded as if the words came from far away. The weather had adjusted to the mood. Dark, gray clouds covered the sky. A cool wind made me shiver.
"Do you want my jacket?" Nate asked beside me.
The boys stood with me in the front row. Nate and Ian to my left, Gregory and Seth to my right. They hadn’t let me out of their sight since that terrible incident at school. They had been there for me.
"No, I... I'm okay."
"Are you sure? Kent would kick my ass if I didn't take good care of his girl."
"Well, he's not here, is he?" I said with a lump in my throat.
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather go home?" Seth asked, putting his arm around my shoulder. "You don't have to do this."
I took a deep breath.
"Yes. Yes, I do."
"Okay. But as soon as this depressive shit here is over, we'll take you home," Nate insisted.
The coffin was lowered, and I watched, numb. There were no emotions in me. I felt strangely uninvolved. Like I wasn't really here. Like this wasn't really happening. As if the body in the damn coffin wasn't real. People around us murmured. Some were sobbing. My eyes fell on the gravestone as if the engraved name made the damn thing more real.
Bethany Duncan
Kent
There was an irritating beeping sound when I came to. What the hell? It wasn't my alarm clock, that much was clear. But it was just as annoying. My eyelids were heavy, and it took a while before I finally managed to open my eyes. The white ceiling above me was unfamiliar. This wasn’t my room. Or Abby's. Abby. Of course I would not be in her room, let alone in her bed. She hated me. With good reason. I hated myself. I’d destroyed the best thing that had ever been given to me. Her love. She had loved me. Just like I intended with that idiotic plan. I hadn't intended to fall in love with her, though. Anger ran through my veins as I remembered who was to blame for the dilemma. Beth, the lying cunt. Slowly, the memories came back. Nate had declared Beth invisible to the entire student body. I had wanted to make a public apology, but Abby didn’t stay to hear me out. She fled. I’d run after her. Then suddenly, Beth had been there, and she tried to stab Abby with a knife. But I had thrown myself in front of Abby, and the knife had entered my chest. That was the last thing I remember. I had to be lying in the hospital, which also explained the annoying beeping. I turned my head and my heart raced. Next to my bed, in an armchair, sat Abby and slept. She was here? Had she forgiven me?
"Abby," I said, my voice nothing more than a croak. "Aaaabbby!"
She woke up from her sleep and her gaze snapped to me. Relief appeared on her face and tears shot into her eyes, but she didn’t move.
"You... are awake."
There was so much pain in her voice and I hated it. I hated that I was the cause of that pain. My vision blurred when tears pooled in my eyes.
"Abby, I..."
"I... I'll get the nurse," said Abby, jumping out of the chair.
She ran out of the room. A while later, the nurse came. Without Abby. My heart seized up. She didn’t come back. I guess that meant she hadn't forgiven me.
Abby
I fled the hospital as if the devil was after me. Kent was awake. He was out of the woods. Watching him almost die made me realize that I would never stop loving him. But I could never forgive him for what he had done. Whether I loved him or not didn't change the fact that we were over. If only it wouldn't hurt so damn much.
Kent had been discharged from the hospital. He would not return to school until after Thanksgiving. I dreaded the thought of him being back. I didn't want to see him. It hurt too fucking much. And I didn't trust myself when it came to him. If he went after me, I would break down again. But I wasn't allowed to. I couldn't. During lunch break, I always sat with Bonnie. The boys had tried several times to persuade me to sit at their table, but I couldn't. I was not as angry with them as I was with Beth or Kent. They had simply believed Beth's lies. But Kent had toyed with my feelings, had sex with me on camera, to humiliate me publicly.
"Earth to Abby," Bonnie's voice came through my mind.
"Sorry, I was..."
"Thinking of Kent, I know."
"It still hurts, but I'll get over it. I'll get over him," I said with a conviction I didn't really feel.
"I was with him yesterday," Bonnie said. "He's in a bad way, Abby."
"Then why did they discharge him from the hospital if he's not well enough?"
"I don't mean physically, Abby," Bonnie replied.
She reached for my hand.
I didn’t reply. I couldn't.
"Abby. I know what he did was – bad. But – we all make mistakes sometimes. He's really sorry, Abby. And he loves you. He's suffering. – And you... you're hurting, too. You're both my friends, and it hurts me to see you both suffering when I know that you could both be happy if you could just find it in you to forgive him."
"I can't," I said, tormented.
"At least talk to him."
"No, Bonnie. I... I can't!" I cried and jumped up to flee from the cafeteria.
I run blindly over the school grounds when I was grabbed from behind and a bag was put over my head. I screamed as my attacker dragged me along.
"Open the door," a familiar voice said. Nate.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Ian's voice sounded.
"I'm tired of seeing these two idiots suffer," growled Nate, pushing me into the seat of a car. Someone wrapped his arms around me and the door was slammed shut.
"Easy, Abby," I heard Seth's voice. "We'll take you to Kent. Stop fidgeting."
I wasn’t having any of this. Fuck them! I fought back with everything I had. Seth cursed, but he wouldn't let me go. The ride lasted only a few minutes. When we stopped and the door opened, the bag disappeared from my head and Nate grinned down at me. He held out his hand to help me out of the car, but I ignored him and climbed out of the car alone. As soon as I got out, I ran, but Gregory grabbed me and picked me up. I fought, screaming my head off, but Gregory carried me unwaveringly to the front door. The door flew open and Kent appeared on the threshold. His gaze took in the scene.
"What the actual fuck?" he shouted. "What the hell are you doing?"
"You two are finally going to talk like two adults," Nate growled as Gregory pushed me inside and the others followed us.
A little girl came out of the living room and looked at us with wide eyes. I stopped screaming and Gregory let me go.
"Who is that girl?" the little girl wanted to know. "And why is she screaming so loud?"
"That, Cupcake, is Kent's girlfriend," said Ian and took the girl in his arms. "You and I are going to watch Disney."
"Yeah. Disney," cried the girl, delighted, and Ian disappeared with her.
"You two go upstairs and talk. We'll stay here until you sort out this mess between you," Nate announced.
Kent's gaze went to me. There was so much pain in his eyes. And hope. Tears came to my eyes. Maybe Nate was right. Maybe Kent and I needed to talk. But that didn't mean we were going to get back together.
"Come with me?" Kent asked with an uncertainty I had never experienced in him before.
I took a deep breath and nodded.
Kent
I was angry with the guys for dragging Abby here against her will. But I was also relieved. Finally, I got the chance to talk to my girl. I realized that this was probably the most important conversation of my life. Everything depended on whether I found the right words to convince my girl we belonged together. My heart beat hard and painfully as we entered my room. I closed the door behind us. Abby stood lost in the middle of the room. She looked as if she would try to bolt at any moment. I locked my door and put the key in my pocket. Ju
st in case. Abby was here and she would not get out until she forgave me. I couldn't give her up. Not ever. I walked over to her and took her hand. She flinched, but she let me lead her to the bed.
"Sit down."
She sat down, staring at the floor. I paced the room, looking for the right words. Finally, I pulled an armchair into the middle of the room and sat down.
"I have thought so much about how I can explain everything to you. How I can ask you for forgiveness. But I will do something else. I'm going to tell you something about myself."
Abby
Kent's words surprised me. I lifted my gaze, confused, and looked at him. He sat in an armchair in the middle of the room and seemed more nervous than I had ever seen him. But at the same time determined. He was a man with a mission, and that mission was to win me back. Kent started to talk. About how his mother traveled the world with him after his dad died. How he hated it. How he needed control because as a child he felt out of control with how his mother dragged him through the world. He told me how his mother had often beaten him when she was drunk. How he’d longed for nothing more than to get away from all this and how he swore after the birth of his little sister that he would do everything to take care of her. She’d been the only thing that mattered to him.
"I was wrong," Kent said. "Nadine's not the most important thing. You both are. I love you both. More than I can put into words. I can't live without one or the other. I need you both in my life. I am not asking for forgiveness for what I have done, because I know that there can be no forgiveness for that. Instead, I ask you to give us a chance despite everything. Let me prove to you I will never hurt you again. That I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you."