She walked over to the dresser and looked at herself in the mirror above it, listening to the tinkling of piano music coming from a nearby tavern, the laughter of a woman, men shouting and laughing. The sounds reminded her of that night she’d peeked through the window to see Chris watching Lisa sing. Was he doing the same thing now with some other lady of the night?
“Chris,” she whispered, looking herself over. She didn’t much compare with those fancy women. Maybe he’d decided she was still too much of a kid to act on his love for her. She walked over to the bed and turned down the lantern there until it was just a dim light, then went to the window and leaned out, listening, trying to hear his voice, his laugh.
Someone knocked on her door then, scaring her a little. This town was full of wild cowhands. She went to the door, hoping it was just the Chinese women coming to take the water out of her tub. “Who is it?” she asked.
“It’s me. Chris.”
Callie felt like her heart had leapt right up into her throat. She unlocked the door and opened it, just staring at him at first. “You here…to talk?” she asked cautiously.
“I’m here to do a lot more than that,” he answered. He opened the door farther and swept her up into his arms, then kicked the door shut. “And I’m sober,” he added. He carried her to the bed.
Chapter Thirty-five
Chris yanked the covers back and moved onto the bed with Callie, pinning her down with his body weight.
“Wait!” Callie could hardly believe this. “What—what are you doing?”
He kissed her nose. “I am doing exactly what you want me to do.”
“You are? I mean, how do you know what I want?”
He grinned. “Callie, are you going to fight this?”
She watched those blue eyes. He actually looked happy. “I smell whiskey on your breath.”
“Two shots. That’s all. Not enough to be drunk, but just enough to be honest with you.”
“Honest?”
“I love you, and I want you, Callie Hobbs.”
“Really?”
He kissed her eyes. “I love you enough that I don’t want to hurt you. So I considered going to one of the saloons in town where there are women who will do this for a couple of bucks. Figured that way I didn’t have to risk truly committing to you. God knows if I make a woman of you, I can’t turn around and leave you, not a woman like you.” He kissed her lips lightly. “But then I figured, what the hell? If I go to one of those women, I’ll hurt you anyway. Besides that, you’re the only woman I want.”
“I am?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He stroked her hair back and kissed her forehead. “Don’t move.” He sat up and pulled off his boots and socks. “By the way, I’ve had a bath and I shaved.” He unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it off.
“Are you going to undress?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“That’s the best way.”
“Oh, my goodness!”
He stood up and removed his gun belt, then the belt to his denim pants. Callie noticed a scabbed hole surrounded by lingering inflammation under his left rib cage, from the bullet wound during the renegade attack. When he turned around, she saw a black bruise on his back from the stampede. Both wounds were suffered from him trying to save her neck.
He started unbuttoning his pants then, and she turned to her side. “I can’t watch,” she said.
She heard him chuckle, heard him removing the rest of his clothes, felt him climb in bed and pull up the covers. “Turn the lamp out,” she said, curling into a ball.
“No. I want to see you, and I want you to see me.” He leaned over her, kissing her cheek as he enveloped her into his arms. “Callie? Do you love me?”
“Yes, sir.”
He laughed, pulling her over onto her back and pinning her under him again. “You want to know something?”
Callie kept her gaze fixed on his face, afraid to look anyplace else. “What?”
“This right here is why I love you. You’re cute, you’re innocent, you’re sweet, you’re good, and most of all, you make me laugh. You’re so damned honest and forthright, you make me happy. I haven’t been this happy in years, and until I met you, I hardly ever smiled, let alone laughed. Don’t ever change, Callie.”
She swallowed, still rather astounded at this change in him. “I’m just me. I can’t change.”
“Good.” He kissed her, a lingering, deep kiss that brought fire to her blood. He moved his lips to her neck, and she stared at the ceiling.
“You sure you want this?”
He burst into a chuckle. “Callie, I am supposed to be asking you that.”
“Oh.”
“Do you want this?”
She studied his handsome face. “You’re too handsome for me, and too refined and educated.”
He shook his head, still grinning. “You are something, Callie Hobbs.”
“Well, it’s true.”
“Maybe I think you’re too pretty and sweet for me. So there. We’re even.”
“But you aren’t just handsome. You’re beautiful.”
“Men aren’t supposed to be beautiful.”
“You are. I mean, you’re perfect—your beautiful blue eyes, your face, your build, your nice hair, your nice teeth, your strong arms, the way you handle yourself…”
He cut her off with another kiss, reaching down to move her nightgown upward. “Do you intend to talk all the way through this?” he asked, moving his lips to her throat.
“I don’t know. I’m nervous as hell. I mean, heck, I don’t know a dang thing. How can I possibly please you?”
“You don’t have to know anything. And what pleases me is the fact that you don’t know anything.”
The nightgown moved higher.
“What about you?” she asked. “Was your first time with somebody experienced?”
“Definitely. I was fifteen.”
“Really? Who was she?”
He put his head down beside her and laughed into the pillow. “Callie, it doesn’t matter now. Besides, you don’t ask a man something like that.”
“You don’t?”
“It’s just understood that men usually experiment at a young age with willing women. End of story.”
“Why can’t women also experiment first?”
He rolled off her and onto his back, still chuckling. “Some do, but not the proper ones.”
Callie closed her eyes, refusing to look at his nakedness. “I just…I don’t want to disappoint you.”
He turned on his side, moving a hand down to rest it on her bare thigh. “Believe me, that is impossible.”
“Well, it’s just that…I want to please you.”
“You have nothing to worry about. And you’re still talking too much.” He pushed her gown up to her waist, gently caressing her belly. She drew her legs up and curled into a ball against him, still refusing to look at anything but his face.
“I always talk a lot when I’m scared,” she told him.
“What are you scared of? Me?”
“No. I don’t know what it’s like.”
“You want an honest answer?”
“Yes, sir.”
He moved a hand over her bare bottom, then to her belly again, and around between her thighs, sliding his hand upward so that his thumb rested against her most private place. “The truth is, sweet Callie, that the first time hurts like hell.” He kissed her gently. “That’s just the way it is, but then you heal, and after that it gets better.” Another kiss. “And better.” Another kiss. “And better, until making love is all you want to do.” Another kiss. “Every night.” Another kiss. “Every morning.”
She gasped when he moved his fingers into her, and whatever he was doing, it made her want him to touch her more. His kisses lingered and grew deeper, his tongue searching her mouth while his fingers searched a part of her that for a time she thought she would never let any man touch. She felt on fire with the want of him, and suddenly she had no more control over herself. Christi
an Mercy became the master of her body, and she relaxed under his kisses and caresses, returning his kisses now, wanting him so bad, it hurt.
She ran her hands over his muscled arms, wrapped them around his strong shoulders. For several minutes she allowed him to touch and explore, and then came a surprising pulsation deep inside that made her cry out his name and kiss him wildly. She actually let him slide her nightgown all the way off, and he maneuvered himself between her legs, bending down to taste her breasts.
Callie arched up to him, wanting him to taste her, aching to please him. He licked at her breasts as though literally hungry for them, then moved his lips to her neck and whispered her name as he moved his hands under her bottom. It was then she felt it, his hardness pressing against her thigh. For a moment flashes of something ugly pervaded her mind, and she gasped and froze.
“Callie, look at me.”
“I can’t! I can’t!” She kept her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “I’m too scared! It’s too ugly!”
“Let go, Callie. Open your eyes and look at me.” He reached up and grasped her wrists, pulling her arms away. She opened her eyes to meet his gaze.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, sir.”
“We’re making love, Callie. It isn’t something terrible and ugly. It’s something natural and beautiful. That’s all you have to remember.”
A tear slipped down the side of her face. “Okay.”
He smiled softly. “I love you, Callie Hobbs. All we have to do now is get the hard part over with so we can enjoy that love. And all you have to do is remember it’s me doing this, Chris Mercy, the man you love and who loves you.”
“Yes, sir.” Callie felt his hand move down to guide himself. She squeezed her eyes shut and gasped when he entered her with one hard thrust. The size of him and the pain of it astonished her. It was worse than she’d figured. She kept her eyes closed and her fists clenched as he moved into her over and over with rhythmic thrusts until she felt something pulsate inside her. He relaxed then, moving to her side and pulling her into his arms. Only then did it truly dawn on her that she was lying naked against an equally naked Chris Mercy.
She buried her face against his chest, and she couldn’t help the tears.
“I’m sorry, Callie. I tried not to let it last too long.”
“No. Don’t be sorry. I’m just crying because I’m happy. You’re my first man, and the only one I’ll ever, ever, ever love like this.”
He kissed her hair. “I intend to be your only man. Fact is, I checked around for a preacher before I came up here, but there isn’t one in town.”
Callie wiped at tears and moved back slightly to look at him. “You did?”
He pushed some of her damp hair away from her face. “You didn’t think I’d do this to you without intending to marry you, did you?”
“I guess not. I mean, I hoped for that, but I wasn’t sure you were ready.”
He smiled softly. “I’m ready. I just thought maybe we’d wait until we reach Rawlins. You have friends there. It would be nicer for you to get married there. Is that all right with you?”
“Oh, yes, sir! I can’t hardly believe you really want me to be your wife. I surely can’t hold a candle to—” She stopped herself when she saw the slight change in his eyes. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to bring that up.”
He kissed her gently. “It’s all right. That’s what you do to me, Callie. You’re the only person with whom I’ve been able to talk about it. That’s part of the reason I love you. You’re good for me. You bring out a side of me that I’ve kept buried for a long time.”
“Will we live on my ranch in Rawlins, then?”
He sighed and pulled her closer again. “I’m not sure yet. I have some thoughts on that, but I don’t want to make any decisions until after we do what we have to do in Hanksville.”
Hanksville! She’d practically forgotten about that. “It’s okay, Chris. We don’t have to go there. I love you too much now to risk you getting hurt or killed.”
He stroked her hair. “We do have to go there, Callie. You need an end to the nightmare…and so do I. I just have this feeling that if we can find those men and bring them in, it will bring an end to the past for both of us.”
She kissed his chest, wishing she could talk him out of it, but she knew him well enough by then to see that was useless. “I’d die if anything happened to you, Christian Mercy.”
He moved back a little, bracing her face in his hands. “Nothing is going to happen. For now let’s just enjoy the rest of the night, and maybe we’ll just lie here all day tomorrow too.”
She smiled through tears. “I’d like that.”
He kissed her hungrily again, caressing her breasts, running a thumb over one nipple in a way that made her want him all over again, in spite of the pain. He moved his mouth to kiss and lick at her shoulder.
“Chris?”
“What?”
“I want to do it again. I mean, I want to do it over and over till it doesn’t hurt anymore. We might as well get to the fun part quick as we can. Do you mind?”
He rose up on his elbows, meeting her gaze. “Do I mind?” He burst into another chuckle and moved on top of her again. “Glad to oblige you, ma’am.”
Another deep kiss made her more relaxed again, and already she could feel his hardness against her belly. He gently moved inside her again, and although things still burned there, it wasn’t as bad this time. It was a strangely sweet, pleasant kind of hurt. She found herself arching up to greet him as their kiss grew deeper. Already she could tell Chris had been right about this. It just got better and better.
Chapter Thirty-six
Callie hated leaving Medicine Bow. She would not forget this place for the rest of her life. Here was where she became a woman. Here was where Christian Mercy proposed to her. Granted, his method was rather unconventional, but she didn’t mind. For two days they didn’t leave that hotel room except to go eat.
She’d finally got up the courage to look at a naked man, and Chris Mercy was certainly a “splendid specimen.” That was what her father used to call his best stallions. When she told that to Chris, he’d laughed again. She loved his laugh, loved being able to make him laugh.
She just wished things could stay like this forever, but they both knew that sooner or later they had to leave that room and get back to business. Then, finally, they could go home to Rawlins. She could hardly wait to call Chris Mercy her husband. He’d told her that in their hearts they were already married, but it would be so nice when it was real, a ring on her finger, the name of Mrs. Christian Mercy to go by.
She waited while Chris saw to it that the horses were loaded up: Breeze, Night Wind, Sundance, and Blackfoot, the buckskin with the black feet they’d bought from Ben Bailey. Poor Betsy had died trying her hardest to get Callie to safety; and Racer, the calico mare bought from Ben, had given her life to save Callie and Chris. They had left behind dead horses and dead men. Now there were three left still to find. She could only hope Chris would not be added to that number.
Chris loaded up all their gear and supplies, then came toward her carrying just the carpetbag they would keep with them for the times the train stopped long enough for people going the farthest to clean up a little. Callie drew a deep breath at the sight of him, all man, all handsome, and all hers. He wore no guns now, but soon he would have to again. Once they left Salt Lake City, they would head back into outlaw country.
“You ready?” he asked, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“We’ll be okay, Callie.”
She fought tears as she turned to board the train. She wanted to go back to that hotel room and make love again. She wouldn’t mind at all making love every night and every morning. Now she understood how mating could be so pleasurable, and why women were always having babies. She sure would love to give Chris another chil
d, a little baby for him to love and hold and be a father to again, a child who would help ease the hurt of losing his Patty.
They waited for a woman and a little girl to get on board ahead of them, and the little girl looked up at Chris and smiled, her blue eyes dancing with curiosity.
“Hi!” she said. “I’m Amanda.” Blond hair stuck out from under her hat.
Chris smiled. “Well, now, Amanda is a very pretty name.”
“Amanda, you shouldn’t talk to strangers,” her mother chided, herding the girl onto the train car. Callie looked up at Chris. “It’s hard for you to look at little girls, isn’t it?”
He sighed. “Let’s just get on.”
Callie went up the steps and walked down the aisle, choosing a seat next to a window. Chris took the aisle seat beside her as Callie opened the window. “It’s going to be a hot one,” she told Chris.
“You open that window, you might as well be prepared to be covered with soot by the time we make Bitter Creek. That’s where we’ll stop for the night.” Chris settled into his seat with a deep sigh.
“Better covered with soot than sweating to death,” Callie answered. She opened the neck of her shirt. Today she’d worn her split riding skirt again, the only “presentable” clothing she’d brought along. She hadn’t packed even one dress. She wore only a clean white shirt, leaving off her vest because of the heat, and she wished she’d had a chance to clean her boots better. She smiled at the reason she hadn’t had much time for preparing to leave. She’d spent most of that time in bed with Christian Mercy, and it sure was time well spent. She felt vigorous and excited, eager now to end this journey and get to living as Chris’s wife.
“You realize, of course, that we’ll be going right through Rawlins,” Chris told her then.
She looked at him. “I never thought about that. We’ve by-gosh traveled in a big circle, haven’t we? Will we stop there?”
“Probably, just long enough to release passengers and take more on. We won’t have time to hop off and find a preacher.”
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