We’re both looking down like we’re trying to find something that we dropped on the floor between us. When guard isn’t looking, I reach down, take his hand, bring it to my lips, and kiss it. Without raising his head, he asks in a completely monotone voice, “Faith ... why aren’t your parents here?”
My lips are shaking, my hands are shaking, my entire body is shaking. “They couldn’t make it,” I say with my face still turned to the floor. “My dad’s in the hospital. I don’t think he has much time left. They just couldn’t make it.”
“Where’s Sharon?” he asks.
I let go of his hand and say, “Sharon? I don’t know. I never heard from her. Why do you ask about Sharon?”
“Sharon’s not here for you either is she?” he asks.
All I can do is shake my head.
He reaches into his briefcase, and pulls out a large brown envelope with “FRAGILE” written across the front. He slides out an 8x10 photo, and sets it on the railing for me to see. It’s Ryan standing in the middle of the photo with Christian on his left side and the blonde girl who was supposed to come to court today on his right. Ryan has his arms around both of them. They’re all holding a Mexican martini and smiling like they’re looking at me through a clear window. I feel the blood drain from my face, but this time I have the railing to keep me from crashing back down to the floor.
“I don’t get it,” I say, trying to understand the photo.
Ryan knows there’s no one close who understands a word of English, so he talks as freely as he would if we were in a room all to ourselves. “Faith, you’re so stupid. There never was any Christian Mareno or Jose Cruz. He’s an actor. There never was any Jordon Cook or anyone else coming to testify for you today.”
“What?!” I scream loudly with my eyes open wide. I’m breathing like a bull staring at a red blanket ready to charge.
“I told you, Faith,” he says, shaking his head. “I told you that you’ll never take my kids from me. Whatever I have to do, however long it takes, you’ll never take my kids from me.”
I stand there in complete disbelief. Tears spill down my cheeks, and I feel my legs beginning to give way again. “How could you?”
He looks at me with such a calm, easy expression. He shows no emotion whatsoever—not the least bit of anger or hate. It’s like the score is settled, and now there’s no need for hate.
“Faith, spare me your tears,” he says. “They don’t work on me any longer. I loved you from the day I met you. All I wanted was for you to love me back. Our whole marriage, you deceived and manipulated me to get everything you wanted: clothes, jewelry, a car, a giant house, a baby, another baby. No matter how much I gave it was never enough––nothing made you happy. But I loved you and I wanted to keep my wife and family together. I made a deal with the devil. I chose to live a lie rather than live without you, but that wasn’t enough for you was it?“
He again opens the envelope. This time he hands me a stack of 8x10 photographs. They look like a professional took them. I rifle through one photo after another as the shock and embarrassment sets in. There are photos of Paul kissing my breast in the parking lot on the day we met. I see more photos of Paul lying beside me in the park with his hand between my open legs, my panties down to my ankles, and a look on my face I can’t even describe. There are photos of Paul and me at the Riverwalk holding hands, eating Mexican food, sitting by the swimming pool, and walking back to the privacy of our hotel room.
“How stupid do you think I am?” Ryan asks, shaking his head with his mouth twisted. “Surely, you know me better. You think I didn’t know? I knew all along. My lawyer wanted to use those photos in court, but I knew that stupid custody judge would never give a damn about your affair. Faith, I wanted to avoid all this. I begged you. I was willing to forgive and forget everything and move on. In the end, all I wanted was Colt, and he wanted to come live with me so bad. It broke my heart to see him so depressed. I couldn't stand by and do nothing. But you wouldn’t even talk about it. Really, you held your fate in your own hands. You gave me no choice.”
As he reaches for more photos he says, “You think you’re so smart, but you’re not. You fall for anyone and anything.”
He hands me the next stack. These are photos of Christian and me at the resort. We’re walking through the lagoon, lying on the beach, drinking pina coladas by the pool, riding our scooters, and shopping in town. Again and again, Christian is staring right into the camera like he knows he’s being photographed. There are two photos of me sitting at my canvas painting the beautiful beach.
When I get to the last photo, Ryan points at the stack and says, “I hope you enjoyed your little vacation. I thought you might need it.”
“Oh … my … God,” I gasp as the reality of it all sinks in. I crush the photos in both my hands with all my might until they’re crumpled into a ball. “Oh my God,” I repeat even louder.
“You know Faith, I almost took pity on you with all your phony talk about yoga, meditation, truth, and God. All your life, you’ve lied about everything. You lie even when the truth will suit you better. I warned you. Do you remember? I wanted to see if you had actually changed so I warned you to be honest. But honest is one thing you’ll never be. You tried to deceive me with your bullshit about refusing to have sex with Christian when I already knew better. At that moment, I knew you’d never change. You’re still the little girl who lied to her parents and snuck out your window to have sex with your boyfriend.”
“What about Paul?” I ask crying and trying to catch my breath. “Did you pay him too?”
Now I see the first sign of emotion on his face. His complexion turns blotchy red. He clenches his teeth at the mention of Paul’s name. “Are you kidding me?” he asks shaking his head with an angry scowl. “Your whole life is over, but you’re still worried about the man you threw your whole life away to be with? The man whose picture you hid in your Bible? Did I somehow pay Paul?” He calms down, straightens his tie, and pauses for effect like a poker dealer waiting to reveal the final card. “Nope,” he says doing his best to hide his grin. “I had nothing to do with Paul. That was all your own doing.”
“Then why?” I ask.
“I just told you why,” he interrupts.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “Why did you even come back?”
He shrugs his shoulders and his tone, his facial expression, and his body language show the same indifference he started with. “I was done. I had no plans to ever see you again, but your parents called and they were talking about selling their home and hiring a real investigator. I couldn’t have them poking around and messing up all my plans. Plus, you cared absolutely nothing about taking my kids from me. You showed such pleasure the first time I picked them up after the judge took them from me. You weren’t even decent enough to hide the delight in your devilish smile. For fifteen years—fifteen years—I took care of you. I gave you everything, but you didn’t even think I deserved your pity. I thought it only fitting that I be here to share in your misfortune.”
Suddenly, a wonderful plan crosses my mind. It’s the only plan I have left. The photograph of Ryan with Christian is sitting right here on the railing in front of me. It’s my only hope for freedom. If the judge sees these two evil men together, smiling like two swindlers after a bank robbery, surely, he’ll do something—if not today, then on my appeal. I’ll send the photo to the media and cause an international firestorm.
I grab the photo and pull it to me. For a brief second, I have it in my hand, but with the speed of a rattlesnake, Ryan snatches it back and pulls it out of my grasp. “You can have all these other photos,” Ryan says, putting the photo I want back in his briefcase and locking it closed, “but I think I’ll be keeping this one for myself.”
“Ryan, no!” I yell with all the strength left in my body. My scream echoes across the courtroom where order has just been restored. It startles everyone. I lunge for him. I want to kill him. I want to tear the flesh from his face, but the co
urt officers who were once holding Ryan now tackle me, throw me to the floor, and handcuff me. When they lift me back to my feet, I finally see the first sign of emotion on Ryan’s face. He has a smile that he cannot hide.
He takes a step back to make sure he’s free of my attack, and says, “Faith, I hope you won’t mind, but I can no longer deposit money into your account. You see, things are really tight for me trying to raise four kids. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble finding someone else to take my place. Maybe Paul will send you money.”
I hang my head in defeat. I look up, and speaking barely louder than a whisper, I say, “You’re a monster.” I’m still in the grasp of both officers. I have the full attention of everyone in the courtroom when I scream, “YOU’RE A MONSTER!” again and again as loud as my defeated body will allow until I’m forced out of the courtroom. The door is slammed shut behind me. The last thing I remember is Ryan waving goodbye.
– EPILOGUE –
A s Ryan’s plane touches down on the runway back in Austin, he reaches into his sports coat for the wedding ring he stored safely away in his jacket pocket. He slips the ring back on his finger where it’s resided for the past two months. It gives him such peace of mind to know he’ll never have to take it off again.
Waiting for him at the airport is his young, beautiful wife. She’s spent plenty of time making sure she looked lovely for her husband to return. She throws her arms around his neck, closes her eyes, and greets him with a kiss as earnestly and lovingly as any woman has ever kissed a man. She leaves no question about the depths of her love for him.
Surrounding them both are four beautiful children waiting for their turn. “Daddy, Daddy,” the little boy says pulling on his shirt and jumping up and down to get his attention. He picks up his wife’s little boy and gives him a kiss. He picks up each of his own children until the three younger children are off the ground kissing his face. Grace is waiting in front of him.
“Did you see mommy?” Hope asks.
“Yes sweetie,” Ryan answers. “I saw mommy.”
“Did you give her our cards and letters?” Grace asks with a sparkle in her bright blue eyes that reminds Ryan of her mother’s eyes at the same age. She will soon be a woman herself, but he still sees his baby.
“I sure did,” he answers.
“Is she coming home soon?” Grace continues.
“I don’t know. I hope so,” Ryan says.
They walk out of the airport to the brand-new Mercedes that Ryan bought for Christian to drive for almost four months. He opens the door for his wife to get in, and then he stores his bags in the trunk. He makes sure the kids are seat-belted in place before starting the car. He adjusts the air conditioner so everyone is cool and comfortable. He’s going to their favorite restaurant to celebrate his return. It’s located in downtown Austin and has the best sea bass in town.
Before he even puts the car in reverse, his wife takes his hand and says, “I missed you so much, darling.”
“I missed you too, baby,” Ryan responds, repaying her love in the same currency.
“You’re such a good man. I love you so much.”
Her words are so sweet and sincere. She’s looking for nothing in return other than the love of the man she adores. He leans over and gives her another kiss and says, “I love you too.”
That night, after a long hot shower, they settle into their warm bed. They make love for the first time in two weeks. They’ve never been apart this long and their lovemaking is well worth the wait. Lying beside his new bride with her sound asleep in his arms, Ryan’s body is exhausted, yet his mind won’t allow him to sleep. He quietly moves to the far side of the bed. He tosses and turns again and again. He rearranges his soft pillows, but he’s unable to fall asleep as the hours slowly pass by. He looks up, and follows the ceiling fan as it slowly turns round and round. His body may be in bed beside a beautiful woman, but his thoughts are nine thousand miles away.
For months, it didn’t seem real. Now, for the first time, the finality of it all begins to sink in. When he closes his eyes, the image of Faith being taken away (with dirty hair, ragged clothes, and a face covered in tears) flashes before him. He opens his eyes to chase these thoughts out of his mind. It’s no good. A few minutes later, he remembers the same young, beautiful, blue-eyed girl who once waited on him at the restaurant so many years ago. Her smile brightens the whole room as she signs his check with a little heart, and puts it on the table.
I just want to sleep. Surely sleep will come easier with time.
His wife stirs awake. She sees him looking at the ceiling, and says, “Ryan, I love you so much.” When he continues staring into the darkness without his usual, “I love you too”, she gently places her hand on his bare chest. He’s drenched in sweat so she asks, “Is everything okay?”
Ryan’s so deep in thought, he hasn’t even heard a word she just said. Her touch grabs his attention. He moves closer to her side of the bed, lays his head on her naked stomach, and looks down at her beautiful legs. “What did you say?” he asks.
“Are you okay?” she asks again.
He kisses her on the lips. “I’m fine.”
“What are you thinking about?” she asks.
“Nothing, I just can’t sleep. I’m sure it’s just the time change.”
“Do you want me to get you some water?” she asks, straightening the thick comforter over them both.
Ryan cups one of her breasts in his hand. He looks over and asks, “Have you ever thought about yoga? I was wanting to join a class somewhere.”
BOOK TWO: THE BEGINNING OF HOPE
_____________________________________
I sincerely thank you for reading my first novel. I hope you enjoyed it and will leave a great review so other readers will get it.
Want more? Faith’s story continues with the incredible sequel,
–– The Beginning of Hope ––
It’s now available to purchase!
I’m currently working on the next book in the series –
The Fall of Grace. Sign up for my reader group below and get:
The first chapters of The Beginning of Hope;
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Leave comments, discuss the novels, or request a signed copy
I look forward to hearing from you.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
The Killing of Faith is William Holms’ debut novel.
William Holms grew up in Hitchcock, Texas – a small town south of Houston. An alumni of The University of Texas at Austin, where he received his undergrad in business, and Baylor University, where he attended law school, William Holms is a veteran trial and divorce attorney with twenty-nine years of experience in both the legal field and the study of the human condition—which always comes into play in the practice of law. Inspired and sometimes unsettled by his observations surrounding cases, Holms channeled his background into his first riveting suspense/thriller novel, The Killing of Faith.
He is currently at work on his second follow up novel.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
I first had the idea for The Killing of Faith about seven years ago. For years I was too busy with work and family to put my idea on paper. I finally spent a year in Europe and started my book. I quickly learned there’s a big difference between having an idea for a book and actually writing the book. The book you have today looks completely different from the book I started. It was a big challenge but also very rewarding. I want to thank the people who helped me along the way.
I first want to thank everyone who took the time to read The Killing of Faith. I hope you enjoyed it. If you wrote a review or shared the book with your friends and family I’m so grateful.
The novel has stirred a great deal of emotion and discussion. Rest assured, the book is
completely fictional and no one was injured in the making of the novel. If you enjoyed The Killing of Faith I’m guessing you’re wanting more – more answers and more “what happens now?” You’ll be happy to know I’m in the middle of writing the follow-up book. It will address some of the feelings people have expressed and questions people have asked. You can learn more about it’s release date before anyone else by joining my reader list:
www.williamholms.com
I especially want to thank my four children - Kiersten, Blake, Kamrie, and Jami. You have always been the best part of my life. Raising such wonderful kids has been a joy. I’m so proud of each of you and the wonderful adults you’ve become.
Thank you, Debbie Johnson for the time you spent reading my book again and again, and giving constructive ideas, and helping with last minute touches.
Thank you Ted Wood. You are such a kind and positive person. Your encouragement has helped me (and many others) along the way.
Thank you, Odessa Fernandez, for your personal heart-felt endorsement and for helping me with social media. You live on top of the world. I hope you stay there forever.
I want to thank Ginny at Book Helpline who did a great job with both the developmental and line edits. I strongly recommend their services.
Finally, I want to remember my mother, Sue Holms, who was taken from us way too soon. She was such a beautiful person, both inside and out, who was a blessing to every person she met. I’ve never known anyone who showed such love to everyone like she did. She lives on through her children. May you rest in peace.
The Killing of Faith: A Suspense Thriller You Won't Soon Forget. (The Killing of Faith Series Book 1) Page 32