by Kimbra Swain
“You shouldn’t worry about my feelings. I haven’t changed how I approach you. Nothing has changed between us. I’ve made sure of that. I know I flirt sometimes, but I did that when he was alive. I did it knowing he could bust me in the face for it, but it’s just me being me. You’re right. Our focus should be on the kids and the town. Whether you believe me or not, that is what I care about, but I can’t focus on those things without focusing on you. In all the pieces to this puzzle, you are the centerpiece. None of it works without you. If you feel like I’m focusing on you, it’s because I am. Not for myself, but for the things that matter the most,” I said. “Forgive me, if I thought you should rest instead of going off half-cocked to summon the Lady of the Lake.”
“I’m not sure I can be half-cocked. I’m pretty sure that’s physically impossible,” she said, making light of the conversation. I had reached her limit of comfort. Now she would deflect the seriousness.
“Not like a dick, Grace. Like a shotgun,” I said. Her mind was perpetually in the gutter.
“Oh,” she replied.
Leaning forward, I put my elbows on my knees and folded my hands in front of my face. Power moved in the room, and I felt her sitting beside me. My resolve weakened. At any moment, I would let her back in. I couldn’t help myself.
“Look at me,” she whispered.
I clenched my teeth. She knew how to get to me. She knew my weaknesses. She was my weakness. Looking up to her, I was caught off-guard. She reached up to the scar on my face, tracing it from my forehead to my chin. Her cool touch should have frozen my heart, but instead, it melted in her hands once again. I caught her hand before she lowered it. Bringing it to my lips, I kissed the inside of her palm.
Then she said the one thing I never expected her to say.
“You were right, Levi. I’m sorry,” she said. The immature male inside of me jumped up and down and gave himself a high five. I was glad that one wasn’t doing the talking.
“I have no choice but to forgive you,” I said.
“You better,” she replied.
I released the block on my mind. She sighed. Instead of searching my brain to see if I was being truthful with her, she pulled back from me.
“I think I’ll go lay down,” she said.
“I’ll get the kids. You rest,” I said.
“You haven’t slept either,” she said.
“Yes, but I’m younger than you. I can take it,” I said.
I knew better than to comment on a woman’s age, but I did it anyway. Part of me loved pushing her buttons. Her nostrils flared. I was waiting on her routine comeback, but instead, she shook her head, then climbed the stairs to her room.
Grace
Sitting back in a lawn chair while sipping on an orange soda, I watched the new daily routine of Astor Knight, along with my brother, who refused to pick a last name. They sparred. With swords. I told them both it was utterly ridiculous because I doubted that we would need swords in this fight. But as Astor reminded me, the fight in Summer included a great many swords. They were just ‘staying in shape.’
Ella sat next to me watching the ginger knight. I couldn’t rightly call him my knight anymore. It was very clear to see that he belonged to her. She took this moment to clarify that for me.
“Do you have any intentions toward Astor?” she asked.
“No, why?” I responded.
“Because I want him,” she said.
“I’m pretty sure you have him already,” I said.
“He’s not giving in,” she explained. I giggled.
“You know in this life he’s a virgin. He might need a little help,” I said.
“It’s not that. I’ve tried everything. Trust me! He won’t give in,” she said.
“Did you ask him why?”
“He says that after a proper courtship, he will ask my father to marry me. Then, and only then, will he give it up,” she said.
“Noble,” I said with a smile.
“Frustrating,” she said.
“That too,” I agreed.
“How long is a proper courtship?” I asked.
“He says at least a year,” she groaned.
I laughed. “I could interfere,” I said.
“No, don’t force him,” she said.
“Ella, I would never. He just needs the proper encouragement,” I said. “If you don’t mind, I’ll give it a try.”
“Please,” she finally agreed.
“What happens if he decides to wait despite my persuasion?” I asked.
“Then I will wait,” she said.
“Good answer,” I replied.
We sat in silence watching the two knights parry back and forth. Both were accomplished swordsmen, but Astor was the better of the two. I figured that was because Finley always found a distraction instead of practicing when we were younger. I even took a few lessons in swordplay per my father’s demand, but it bored me. I had no desire to fight with a sword. Which brought me back to this impending war. I hoped my magical gifts were enough.
The low rumble of a Harley came from the direction of the main road. Levi had gone to town to meet up with Tennyson and Jenny to get an update on their efforts with our prisoner. He had already told me through our connection that they didn’t get anything new out of her. He also spoke to Luther who said his hunter was delayed in arriving. I hoped that we could find more information about what the ghouls wanted, but we hadn’t come up with anything.
The connection we shared he had cut off a few nights ago. I hated to admit it, but it was agony. Levi was my security blanket. I felt safe when we were connected. He drove up on the Harley without a helmet on. I scowled at him. He just smiled knowing my protest. He assured me that whenever he drove it, that he charged up his tattoo, and kept the music flowing so that he could use it in a moment’s notice. I still didn’t trust the damn thing. It’s my own fault because I bought the motorcycle for him last Christmas. He had gone back to driving it around more often after Dylan’s death. I was probably being a little overprotective. He was more likely to get killed in Shady Grove by a rogue ogre than by crashing his motorcycle.
“This looks like fun,” he said. “I think I’ll try.”
“Don’t hurt yourself, Dublin,” I said.
He walked over to the two knights, exchanged a few words, and Finley offered him his sword. Astor walked through some basic steps with him. I felt him charging his magic. He could use all the magic he could muster, but unless he had some skill with the sword, Astor would beat him easily.
“If he beats me, you can kiss my wounds,” he smirked.
“Keep dreamin’, Dublin,” I said.
“Then you can kiss the victor.” A grin crossed his face, and if it weren’t completely adorable, I would have slapped him.
“He’s talking to you,” Ella said, observing the way I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Yes, we are very connected. Too connected sometimes,” I said.
“I know that he’s been with other women, but as far as I could tell, he’s only ever wanted you,” she said.
“No. I don’t think so.” She was right, but I wasn’t admitting that. “We share a close bond, and I’m thankful that he is a part of my family’s life.”
“But…” she said.
“But my fiancé just died, and my heart doesn’t function properly anymore. He deserves better,” I said. Unsure of why I was spilling my guts to her, I decided that I wouldn’t say any more on the subject.
“It’s not my business, and I’ve got little to no experience with love matters, but from my perspective, loving Levi has nothing to do with Dylan,” she said.
“Then we have very different perspectives,” I said, knowing I should have never pursued the conversation with her. Loving Levi had nothing to do with Dylan, and everything to do with just not being capable of that deep emotion. When I gave in to Dylan, I had no idea how much his love would reach my heart. I’d never thought it possible, and when it did touch me, I jumped in heart fir
st. Now I was just floundering. My focus was on Shady Grove, which I had resolved to do when Levi shed his button up plaid shirt, sporting a black “wife-beater” underneath. My focus suddenly switched to the changeling bard that had apparently been working out more often.
“Wow!” Ella said.
“Wow, indeed,” I grumbled. Levi stretched his arms with that devilish glint in his eye. He knew what I thought of him, but there were two beautiful women staring at him. Ella looked to the ground then back up at Astor.
“Tell him to take his shirt off too. Then we can gawk at both of them,” I said.
“Astor is hairy,” she said.
“Nothing wrong with a hairy chest,” I said.
“Nothing at all,” she grinned. “I just want to see the rest of it.”
“Astor, if you hurt him,” I warned the experienced knight.
“I’ll go easy on him, My Queen. I understand that he is only a poet. I’ll make sure to keep his tattoo arm safe,” Astor taunted.
“Keep talking, you overgrown, hairy carrot,” Levi teased back.
“Ready up, Bard,” Astor said raising his sword.
“Whenever you’re ready, Copper Nob,” Levi said bringing Finley’s sword up to a middle ready stance. I noticed his hand positions and his stance. They were identical to the starting position that Finley used. Maybe I knew a little more about sword fighting that I admitted, but it’s because I used to watch my father’s knights practice. Taking my eyes off Levi, I turned to Finley who grinned.
“What?” he said.
“Exactly. What?” I said.
“Maybe he’s just a natural,” Finley shrugged.
“Riiiiiight,” I said dragging out the vowel.
The sound of swords clanging together brought my attention back to the fighters. Astor withdrew his sword from Levi’s defensive position, then lunged forward. Levi jumped to the side swinging his sword downward toward Astor’s legs. Astor planted his sword in the ground just as Levi’s strike got close to him deflecting the strike. He jerked the sword up out of the ground swinging it around toward Levi who had gotten off balance. I jumped to my feet as I watched Astor’s gleaming sword sweep down toward Levi. When I started to interfere, Finley jerked me to the side.
“No,” he growled.
My eyes darted back to Levi who had lifted his sword to a hanging left position causing Astor’s strike to slide down his blade. Now the ginger knight was off-kilter, giving Levi the advantage. Instead of using his sword, Levi lifted a black boot then shoved Astor in the ass to the ground. The knight grunted, rolling over to deflect a half-hearted final blow by Levi.
“Yield!” Levi yelled.
“I yield,” Astor muttered.
I stood frozen staring at the two of them. They were laughing as Levi helped him up off the ground. Astor patted him on the back.
“You’ve gotten much better,” Astor said.
“Thanks. I’ve had a good teacher,” Levi replied as he looked back to me.
“Grace, are you okay?” Ella asked.
“Um, yeah,” I said not taking my eyes off Levi. She giggled, then rushed over to Astor who hugged her. She kissed him which drew a deep red blush to his cheeks.
“She’s in shock,” Finley said.
“No, I’m not,” I muttered.
Levi walked over handing the sword to Finley. He reached up to peel my hand from in front of my gaping mouth. I hadn’t even realized I was standing there like that.
“When did you? What in the world? How?” I said unable to complete a sentence.
“I’m good,” he said.
“Yes,” I replied. “But how?”
“Practice,” he replied.
I felt the tingle of his power rush up my arm from where he still held my hand. “You?” I asked looking at Finley.
“Nope,” Finley grinned. “He chose the best as his teacher.”
I looked over to Astor and Ella who were arm in arm. Astor shook his head at me.
“Who?” I said looking back at Levi.
“Tennyson,” he replied.
“He always was the best, the wanker,” Astor said.
“Why? You have plenty of power without this,” I mumbled.
Finley pulled away from us, joining Astor and Ella as they went into the house. Levi squeezed my hand. “If this comes to war, which it is going to, I need to be ready for anything. After Dylan died, I asked Tennyson to show me a few things. When we have our meetings about the progress of the town and when he gives me info about the Otherworld, he teaches me,” he said.
“I don’t want you fighting like this,” I said.
“Grace, I’m going to fight like the rest of them. I’ll fight better than them, because of my magic,” he said. “And if I die…”
“Stop!” I said. “No.” I jerked my hand away from him and walked toward the house. He blinked in front of me. “Move it or lose it!”
“No, Grace, you stop!” he said with power behind it. Enough to hold me still for a moment.
“I am going to bust your ass if you don’t let me go,” I said grinding my teeth.
“I am going to fight beside you, beside them, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure we win this war,” he said. “You can’t protect me.”
“The hell I can’t,” I said.
“Unfortunately, you don’t have a choice. We are equal. You did that. Not me. Release,” he said.
Heaving a long breath, I tried to control my emotions. He was doing exactly what I needed him to do without me telling him or guiding him. But the thought of losing him, right after Dylan, hurt my soul.
“You aren’t going to lose me,” he said, pushing a stray hair behind my ear. “You’re stuck with me. Remember?”
“I can’t,” I muttered.
“I know,” he said with a sad smile. “It’s fine. You have to admit, I’m pretty damn good.”
“I’ll never admit that,” I said.
“Yes, you will. One day, you will,” he said.
Motherfucking, sword-fighting Bard. I fell right for that one.
When we entered the house, Ella was pouring glasses of sweet tea for everyone. I bowed my head to hide my red face, making my way to the fridge for another orange soda. I wasn’t sure what happened to the one I had had outside.
Finley eased over to me, where I was at the kitchen counter. “He really is good. Tennyson said he was shocked, but that he equated it to the work he used to do on the farm back in Texas. He said he’s strong and he’s learned enough to hold his own in a fight.”
“I could see that,” I mumbled.
“Then what’s the problem? I give him credit for even thinking of it. He’s really jumped in to fill roles that Dylan left in town and with you. He coordinates everything with Tennyson for the supplies and needs of the people here. I think you have been so lost in your grief that you haven’t noticed,” Finley said. “Not that there is anything wrong with that.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” I said as Levi and Astor joked with each other.
“You should. He’s not the same lost kid anymore,” Finley said. That much I had noticed, but I hadn’t realized the depth of it. “You should know that while in Summer, Rhiannon had him brought to her chambers. She tried to force him, but he was able to withstand her.”
A low growl crossed my lips, causing everyone in the room to stop talking. I shook my head, waving off their attention.
“He never mentioned it,” I said.
“Why should he? Does it matter to you?” Finley asked.
“You’re playing a stupid game, Brother,” I said.
“It’s not stupid if it makes you admit that you do care about him,” he said.
“I do care about him. Very much,” I said.
“You love him,” Finley prodded.
“How are you doing?” I asked changing the subject.
“I’m fine,” he replied, taking the hint that I was done with the Levi conversation. I’d already had it once today. I had the feeling that I
might have it again in the future. I wasn’t fighting the inevitable. I was not in a place where I could make a rational decision about my feelings toward Levi. I was still crying myself to sleep most nights. My heart was clearly broken and torn. I needed more time.
“Really?” I asked.
“Nelly was a mistake. I can’t apologize enough. I think with things other than my brain sometimes,” Finley replied.
“All men do,” I smirked.
“Go ahead and lump us all together, Grace. But that one over there, all he thinks about is you,” Finley said with a slight nod to Levi.
“It doesn’t really matter right now,” I said.
“It will. Someday it will,” Finley said. “I’ve got to get to town. I’m meeting with Mike. He’s working on some liquids for me.”
“Like?” I asked.
“Stuff that will help in Winter,” he said with a grin. “I’ll tell you when it works. So far, it hasn’t.”
“Thanks, Fin,” I said.
He kissed me on the cheek. “Love ya, Glory.”
I missed my brother. It felt like he was finally back with me. He said his good-byes to Astor, Ella, and Levi. My bard had been very busy and sneaky too. I didn’t blame him for not telling me about Rhiannon. There was no way she had persuaded him to do anything with her, especially sex. Otherwise, she would have taunted me with it when we were there. Perhaps Finley was right. I had been so blinded by my own grief even leading up to Dylan’s death, that I didn’t see all the things that Levi was doing. I didn’t want to see him. My focus was on my children. However, I also knew Levi. He wasn’t doing it to draw attention to himself.
A vehicle approached from outside. It was Luther bringing Winnie home from her lesson for the day. She was making progress, but she had a long way to go. I was afraid she couldn’t understand the power that she had inside of her.
“Want me to go pick up Aydan?” Levi asked.
“If you want,” I said.
“Won’t take long. I’ll be back soon,” he said as he hurried out the door. Nestor had picked up Aydan earlier to have a little great granddaddy time with the munchkin while he was still little. As Levi went out the door, Winnie came running in the door barreling into my legs. She held me tightly.