by TJ Klune
“He wouldn’t hurt them,” I said, horrified, both at what Ox was implying and the fact that I was so quick to defend a man such as Livingstone.
“You can’t know that,” Kelly said quietly. “Not after what he did to you.” He swallowed thickly, looking away. “Or to me.”
“Michelle might not even be in control anymore, if she ever was,” Ox said. “I don’t know what he has on her or what he promised her, but he won’t stop.”
“At the bridge,” I said suddenly, thinking hard. “He said….”
What do you think you could do to me? Don’t you see how easy this was for me? No matter where you go, no matter what you do, I will find you, Gordo. And I will take everything until you return what belongs to me.
“What did you take? Me?” I shook my head. “Or Gordo?”
“I don’t know,” Ox said, sounding frustrated. “I don’t know if it’s a person or a thing or a place. He could mean Green Creek, though Gordo doesn’t seem to think so. Too much happened to him here, and even though this is a place of power, I don’t know if that’s what he’s after. But it won’t matter if we’re not together. He’ll find the weaknesses. The cracks between us. And he’ll exploit them.” Ox laid his head back against the tree. “I can’t have that happen. Not again. They were angry, Robbie. After what happened with Chris and Tanner. But when it came down to it, when we found our chance to move on you, every single person in this pack didn’t hesitate. You’re ours. We’re all a little fucked-up, and we make mistakes, but when it counts, we’re together.” He sighed. “I’m just sorry it didn’t happen sooner. You deserved better from me as your Alpha. And as your brother.”
I flung myself at him, and he caught me effortlessly. His hand came to the back of my head as he held me close, whispering in my ear that I was home, home, home, and he would never let me go again. None of them would. He loved me, he loved me, he loved me, and I squeezed my eyes shut, letting it wash over me, that little voice in the back of my head whispering packpackpack.
* * *
Eventually I felt together enough to pull away without embarrassing myself further. Kelly was rubbing my back, and I wiped my eyes. He was sniffling too, and I snorted when he sneezed suddenly. I heard footsteps approaching from behind us, but I didn’t look up. I was worried it’d set me off all over again.
“Oh boy,” Tanner said. “I understand now what Rico meant when he said years ago it smells like feelings. This is intense.”
“Good?” Joe asked Ox.
Ox nodded. “We’re getting there, I think.”
Joe jerked his head toward Chris and Tanner. “Hey, Kelly. Can you help me with something back at the house? I probably need Ox’s help too.”
I wondered if anyone had ever told Joe he was subtle. If they had, they were lying.
“Sure,” Kelly said, going along with it like it wasn’t completely obvious what was happening. “I can do that.” He glanced at me. “I’ll see you back at the house?”
I didn’t want him to go. I wanted him to stay and shield me from what was about to happen. But I couldn’t let him do that, even though I was terrified. He squeezed my hand again before he followed Ox and Joe toward the clearing. He looked back at us once, an inscrutable expression on his face. I didn’t know who he was worried for, me or Chris and Tanner. Probably all of us.
“So,” Chris said awkwardly after a long silence. “What’s going on?”
“Jesus,” Tanner muttered. He shoved Chris, who squawked at him. “Way to make things weird.”
“Hey! I’m trying! You do something if you think you’re better than me.”
“Fine,” Tanner said. “I will. Just watch.”
“Oh, this will be good.”
Tanner looked down at me. “Robbie.”
“Tanner.”
“Do you want to murder us?”
Chris coughed roughly.
“Um. I don’t… think so. No?”
Tanner looked relieved. “Good.” And then he tackled me.
It took me a lot longer than I care to admit to understand he wasn’t trying to hurt me. In fact, as soon as he rested his entire weight on top of me, he relaxed and sighed. “That’s better. And man, if you tell anyone what I’m about to do, I will deny it and make fun of your hair behind your back.”
“What? What are you going to do? And what the fuck is wrong with my hair?”
“It’s too long and stupid,” Chris muttered. “You need to cut it. Original Flavor Robbie hated having long hair. Robbie 2.0 looks like a hipster douche. I swear to god if I see a man bun at any time, Tanner will hold you down while I light your head on fire.”
“Get off of me!” I cried, trying to shove Tanner away, but he was dead weight, and it was damn near impossible. He ran his hands up and down my sides, huffing out short, quick breaths against my neck and the side of my face. It dawned on me that he was trying to get our scents to mingle. I didn’t smell like them, and I was pack, which would have irritated the wolf in him.
I sighed.
“There,” Tanner said after what felt like the longest nonsexual rubdown ever. “That’s better.”
“You should feel bad about what you just did.”
“Nah,” he said, hopping up. “I mean, maybe. But nah. Chris, go for it. Make sure you really get it in there.”
I barely had time to flinch before Chris jumped on top of me, doing the same. His movements were almost frantic, and it wasn’t as strange as I expected it to be. Granted, anyone who came across us might have thought otherwise, but thankfully we were alone.
Once Chris had gotten his fill, he rolled off to the side, lying next to me on the grass. “Wow,” he breathed. “That does feel better. Joe was right. And you can never tell him I said that.”
“Trust me,” Tanner said, “we’re not going to talk about this ever again.”
“Thank Christ,” I said, scooting over slightly as Tanner lay down on my other side. He folded his hands over his stomach, and we watched the clouds go by.
I waited, not sure what was supposed to happen. What they needed from me beyond what they’d already done. I owed them everything, and I couldn’t find the words to tell them as much.
Chris didn’t seem to have this problem. He said, “I like being a wolf. Yeah, it took some getting used to, but all in all, it’s not so bad.”
I was cautious, unsure of where he was going. “Would you have….” I couldn’t finish.
But he knew. “Taken the bite anyway?” Tanner asked. “Maybe. One day. Getting older sucks. My back always hurt from working in the garage, and my eyesight was getting pretty bad.”
“I knew it,” Chris said. “You were always squinting at everything.”
Tanner shrugged. “Now I don’t have to worry about it. Sure, I mean, I have to turn into a slobbering giant every time there’s a full moon, and I accidentally hunted a deer and was eating it raw before I realized what I was doing, but I can punch through walls now, so it’s pretty much a fair trade-off.”
“Dude went to town on that deer,” Chris whispered, even though it was pointless to do so. “It was so gross. Like, entrails everywhere.”
“That you ate,” Tanner retorted.
“I have a thing for guts when I’m shifted,” Chris said as if it were nothing. “Don’t hate.”
Tanner laughed. “Don’t hate. Listen to you. You’re in your forties. Start acting like it.”
“It’s not—”
“Why are you doing this?”
They turned their heads toward me, but I stared resolutely at the sky. My hands clenched, and it was getting harder to breathe.
“Doing what?” Chris asked.
“You know what.”
“Acting like nothing’s wrong, and that we’re your friends, and we missed you and wanted you to be there when we ate a deer?”
Fucking idiots. “Yes.”
“Because it’s true,” Tanner said. He moved his arm over until it brushed against mine. I didn’t pull away. “Maybe not
the nothing’s wrong part, but all the rest? Totally true.”
“You should be scared of me. You are scared of me.” It wasn’t heavy, the scent of fear, and it bent more toward uneasiness, but it was still there.
“Well, yeah,” Chris said. “You tried to eat us. It hurt.” He sobered a little before sighing. “Look, man. We can either dance around this or face it head-on. And the longer we put this off, the worse off we’ll be. Did you want to hurt us?”
“I don’t remember,” I reminded them.
“Oh. Right. Do you want to hurt us now?”
I shook my head.
“See?” Tanner said. “There you go.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why not?” Chris asked. “Because if anyone should be having a hard time with this, it should be the two of us. Not you. If anything, you should be groveling for our forgiveness. Go ahead. Grovel. A lot. We’re ready.”
My throat worked. “This is serious. You can’t treat this like—”
“We know it’s serious,” Tanner said. “It was our idea to be out here with you. Joe and Ox had nothing to do with it. We asked them for this.”
That surprised me. I thought the Alphas were trying to keep the peace, shoving us together even if they didn’t want to be here. “Rico—”
“Will come around in his own time,” Chris said. “He’s… he took it hard, man. Something about bleeding out in front of him, and dying, and all that junk. But he didn’t see what we did. He wasn’t there.”
“What did you see?” I whispered.
“Blank,” Tanner said. “You were just blank. Like no one was home.” He poked me in the arm. “It was awful. We knew then, as we know now, that it wasn’t you. It was your body, sure, but it wasn’t you. Gordo’s dad made you do this. Don’t ever forget that. And I know this is still all new to you and that we’ve had time to come to terms with it, but I don’t want you to think we were ever going to let you go. Chris and I, we had a long talk after. We decided to become the best fucking werewolves in the world so when it came time to drag your sorry ass back to Green Creek, we’d be ready.”
“We trained like a motherfucker,” Chris agreed. “I can do backflips. Which, honestly, is pretty pointless, but it looks really cool.”
I was shocked into laughter. Chris grinned at me, obviously pleased with himself.
“And no,” Tanner said, “we’re not here because of what Aileen and Patrice said. Or at least not just because of what they said. We’re here because you belong to us just as much as we belong to you. That’s what pack is, Robbie. It’s us being together. I’m not gonna lie. It’s gonna be hard. I don’t know what’s coming, but I know I’d rather have you by my side than not. And Chris feels the same.”
“Pretty much,” Chris said. “We didn’t…. We were pack when we were human. I thought I understood what it meant, and maybe I did. But now? It’s just… more. Like all the dials have been turned up as high as they can go. It sucked at first because everything was so fucking loud.”
“Car alarms,” Tanner mumbled. “The worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone ever. Gordo accidentally set one off at the garage.”
Chris snickered. “Tanner half-shifted and was barking at it.”
I laughed again. Tanner shoved me. “You’re both dicks.” He sat up, looking down at me. “So. We forgive you for the whole rawr-I’m-going-to-maul-you thing. And in return, you can forgive us for taking so long to rescue you like the damsel in distress you are.”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why can’t it be?” Chris asked.
“Because I don’t know if I can forgive myself.” I closed my eyes. “And what happens if we get my memories back? I’ll have to relive what I did to you.”
“Maybe,” Tanner said. He grunted as he moved, twisting around before lying back down, his head on my thigh. Chris reached over and took my hand. We were connected, the three of us, by touch. It wasn’t a bond. There were not threads that pulsed and pulled. But I thought it could be a start. “But I think that’s a small price to pay, don’t you? Because the human version of me was pretty awesome, and I want you to remember me in all my glory. Oh, and Kelly too, but let’s pretend I’m what’s important right now.”
“You are,” I whispered, and he leaned into it when I carefully put my hand into his hair.
“We’ll figure this out,” Chris said, and on this warm summer day, here in the middle of the woods, I knew he was telling the truth. “I know it. And when we do, and when we win, we’ll be here. Together. We’ll rebuild what we had together, and no one will have to hurt ever again.”
“Unless we need to fuck some shit up,” Tanner added. “Because we will.”
That sharp scent of uneasiness began to fade.
And in its place was only a vast stretch of green, green, green.
save him/life teeming wildly
Kelly was dying.
I wasn’t overreacting.
Elizabeth said as much. Sort of.
“He says he’s dying,” Elizabeth told me the next day. I was still in the basement, not wanting to come out yet, even though everyone told me I was being an idiot. I couldn’t take the chance in case Livingstone tried to get in my head again. Gordo thought it had something to do with the full moon, but he sounded dubious.
I stood abruptly, the cot scraping along the floor. “What?” I demanded. “Who hurt him? Did someone come after him? What happened?”
Elizabeth looked grave. “Perhaps you should take a look at him, just to make sure.”
There was no silver keeping me in, so I flew by her, charging up the steps, sure that I was going to find nothing but blood and exposed bone when I got to Kelly.
Somehow, it was worse.
He lay in his bed in his room, surrounded by everyone in the pack. Jessie and Mark stood just inside the door, looking amused. I didn’t know what the hell could possibly be so funny about this.
“Uh-oh,” Rico said, glancing at me over his shoulder.
I barely had time to take in one of the few rooms I hadn’t been in yet before I saw Kelly.
He was pale. His eyes were bloodshot. He coughed weakly. It was harsh and wet in his chest. He was trying to breathe, but it didn’t sound like much was getting through his nose, so his mouth was open like he was panting. There was a box of tissue on a nightstand, and some were crumpled up in a trash can next to the bed.
“He’s diseased,” Carter said in a horrified whisper. “What’s going on with him? He’s… he’s leaking.”
Even Joe looked worried. He pressed a hand against Kelly’s forehead. “He’s warm. Like, really warm.”
Ox rolled his eyes.
“Oh my god,” Tanner said, wringing his hands. “Is this some kind of disease? Like the Omega infection? Are you contagious?”
“He sneezed on me,” Chris whispered, eyes wide. “What if I’m infected now too? Why did we never call a wolf doctor when Carter and Mark started getting sick? Like a biologist? How could we have been so blind?”
Jessie sounded like she was choking, but I didn’t look back to see what was wrong. I only had eyes for Kelly.
“Ugh,” he said.
“What happened?” I asked. “Is this magic? Did something infect him? Why are you all just standing here? We have to save him!”
Now it sounded like Mark was choking too. I wondered if he’d caught whatever evil Kelly was now suffering from. How could it have spread so quickly?
I leaned over Kelly, putting my face close to his, not sure of what I was looking for but damn sure I was going to find it.
He sneezed in my face.
It was wet.
He blinked in surprise.
Silence settled.
“He’s infected too!” Chris wailed. “We’re all gonna die!”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Rico growled. “You’ve only been a werewolf for a year. Is it eating your goddamn brain? You seriously can’t be this stupid.”
“We’r
e all gonna die! We’re all gonna—hey. That was mean, Rico. Now is not the time for rudeness.”
Tanner nodded solemnly.
Now Jessie and Mark were choking at the same time. I hoped it would be swift and not painful for them.
“I love you,” Carter whispered to Kelly. “More than anything. I wish… I wish we had more time. Please, Kelly. You have to fight this. You have to fight this.”
The timber wolf howled, a long and mournful sound.
I heard Ox speaking to Elizabeth. “We really just going to let this keep going?”
“It got Robbie up and out of his self-imposed exile,” Elizabeth replied. “I don’t feel bad about it at all.”
“It’s just a virus!” Rico said, throwing up his hands.
“A virus?” Carter said, sounding outraged. “What kind of virus? Who gave it to him? I’ll kill whoever did! I’ll kill them all!”
I nodded furiously. “I’ll help. I’m going to tear them apart.”
“Still too soon,” Chris muttered.
“I feel bad for you,” Jessie said to Mark. “Seeing as how you’re related to most of them. I don’t have to worry about that.”
“They are what they are,” Mark said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
Before I could turn around and snarl at them for being so heartless, Gordo said, “You guys are fucking idiots, I swear to god. I don’t know how the hell you’ve survived this long. He’s got a fucking cold.”
Jessie and Mark burst out laughing.
Tanner and Chris were frowning. “A cold,” Chris repeated.
“Yes,” Gordo said, exasperated. “A cold. That’s it. That’s all it is.”
Tanner said, “I knew that. I was just messing with them. Idiots, right? You guys are so dumb.”
“A cold?” Carter asked. “How can he have a cold? That’s a human thing. Wolves don’t get… oh. Right. Shit. Human.”
I tried to think about how to fix a cold. I didn’t know. I hadn’t met many sick humans. Wolves didn’t get sick. Humans were weak and fragile, and even if it was just a cold, Kelly looked like death warmed over. His face was wet and puffy and his nose was leaking. “Soup,” I decided. “I saw in a movie once that you need to give soup to sick people. It makes them feel better, especially when it has noodles in it.”