by Haemin Sunim
About two years ago I had the unique opportunity to visit a rural French village called Taizé, in eastern Burgundy, along with elder monks from my Buddhist order. It is an ecumenical Christian monastic community, where monastic brothers live according to the Bible. Taizé is famous as a Christian pilgrimage site, each year attracting more than a hundred thousand young adults from all over the world. The pilgrims usually spend several days in the community while participating in morning, midday, and evening prayers as well as quiet reflection and small group discussions. I was already familiar with the Taizé community’s soul-stirring chants and was looking forward to attending their wonderful prayer service.
When we arrived at beautiful Taizé, the brothers came out and greeted us warmly. Clad in white robes, they had gentle smiles and a peaceful presence, almost as if they were angels incarnated. Our light gray monastic robes looked quite similar to their white ones, and it was as if we had become one large family. The brothers gave us a tour of the community and, to officially welcome us, chanted “Confitemini Domino”—one of the most beautiful songs I’ve heard in my life. We were invited to their living quarters and had a nice chat followed by midday prayers in the Church of Reconciliation. The more time we spent in Taizé, the more I could see the similarities to Buddhist monastic living. The brothers spent hours in silent prayer as a way to turn their attention to God within, not unlike our silent meditation practice. Another similarity was that the brothers wore a ring to signify their vows to God; monks from my order “wear” a small incense burn on our left arm when we receive our full precepts.
Some may think that life in such a community is repressed, strict, and difficult, but that is not the case. A monastic life is characterized by simple beauty and unexpected joy. Monks find happiness in things that may seem trivial to those who pursue the material trappings of success. Watching the seasons change—the blossoming of the magnolias, the dazzling fall foliage, the first snowfall—brings indescribable joy and gratitude. A simple meal made with fresh ingredients from the nearby mountains is a source of great contentment. Because our monastic brothers are our friends, teachers, and family, we are never lonely.
At lunch we were presented, to our complete surprise, with kimchi. We were told that the brothers had gathered a few days before our arrival to make it themselves. We were so moved by their hospitality and did not know how to reciprocate. Although we were from a different religion and country, they welcomed us with consideration and love. When we left Taizé, we felt as though we’d just visited our long-lost cousins. I knew I would cherish this bond for the rest of my life. Even now, when I see one of the elder monks who visited Taizé with me, we fondly recall eating the brothers’ kimchi with baguettes.
“How should we consider a different spiritual path?
We shall approach it with humility
as well as a willingness to learn about another tradition.
If our faith can be shaken
from merely learning about a different tradition,
then that faith is not worth keeping.”
—REVEREND DR. KANG WON YONG (1917–2006)
Just as my faith is precious and significant to me,
wouldn’t it be the same for people of other faiths?
Just as my mother is dear and important to me,
wouldn’t this be the case for my neighbor and his mother?
May people know how to differentiate between
the certainty of one’s faith and the folly of attacking other faiths.
May faith never become an ideological weapon to justify violence.
If Jesus, Buddha, and Confucius were all alive and gathered in the same place,
would they argue over who is right?
Or would they respect and admire one another’s teachings?
Religious conflict can often be blamed
not on the founders of religions
but on their fanatical followers.
“The purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others.
How much am I doing about my anger, attachment, hatred, pride, and jealousy?
These are the things we must check in our daily lives.”
—HIS HOLINESS, THE DALAI LAMA
If the essence is forgotten, ritual takes over.
When ritual dominates spiritual practice,
our outward appearances become more important than our inner experience.
For instance, if you meditate in the hope of enlightenment,
how long and with whom you meditate is not as important as
how your practice has changed your heart and your relationships.
According to Professor Kang-Nam Oh,
the faithful can be divided roughly into two groups:
people of “surface faith” and people of “in-depth faith.”
The surface faithful are bound by spiritual symbols;
they often dispute the spiritual symbols of other faiths.
The in-depth faithful understand meanings deeper than the symbols.
They can find similar meanings in the symbolism of diverse spiritual traditions,
and harmony among such traditions.
“Heretic” is a loaded term.
It has been slapped on any belief or practice
that doesn’t conform to the dominant spiritual belief of an era.
If you are calling a spiritual path heretical, remember that
yours was once considered as such when it first started.
“He who knows only one religion knows none.”
—MAX MÜLLER (1823–1900),
GERMAN SCHOLAR OF COMPARATIVE LANGUAGE, RELIGION, AND MYTHOLOGY
Ignorance of other spiritual paths combined with fear
can give rise to religious persecution and violence.
Major wisdom traditions around the world teach
humility, love, and forbearance.
Nothing bad will come of learning about them.
You can admire a spiritual leader but never idolize him.
Blind faith in the leader can easily reduce you to acting like a child,
handing over your power and asking the leader to do things for you.
Medicine can be prescribed, but it must be you who takes it.
A spiritual leader is a finger pointing at the moon.
If the finger attempts to become the moon,
this can lead to a grave sin.
We must cultivate all three intelligences for our overall health:
critical intelligence, emotional intelligence, and spiritual intelligence.
If one falls to the wayside, it slows the growth of the other two.
If you have developed critical intelligence but neglected emotional intelligence,
then you may not be sensitive to the suffering of others.
If you have developed emotional intelligence but neglected spiritual intelligence,
then you may lose hope after seeing the world’s suffering.
If you have developed spiritual intelligence but neglected critical intelligence,
then you may fall victim to the abuse of a cult.
Whatever the circumstances, do not feel inferior.
Remember that God has created you in His divine image.
You are the most precious daughter or son of God.
You are also the Buddha, even if you have not realized it yet.
You have the same Buddha nature as all buddhas in the universe.
Do not allow anyone to make you feel less than that.
Faith is overvalued while practice is undervalued.
If we emphasize faith over practice,
spirituality remains ideology, creating theological conflicts.
But if we focus on carrying out the teachings in our actual lives,
we reali
ze that the love taught by Jesus
is no different from the compassion taught by the Buddha.
If you wish for peace among different spiritual paths,
then practice what you preach.
Three Bible verses I cherish:
“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you,
for this is the Law and the Prophets.”
—MATTHEW 7:12
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven,
but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.”
—MATTHEW 7:21
“Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine,
even the least of them, you did it to Me.”
—MATTHEW 25:40
Two Spiritual Paths in One Family
When your spiritual path is different from that of your fiancé, when your siblings try to convert you to their new faith, when your child decides to follow a different path, this can create tension, awkwardness, and stress. Disagreements and arguments can erupt, and all of a sudden you find yourself negotiating how to carry out a funeral, wedding, religious holiday.
It is ironic that spirituality can become a source of conflict when its teachings are often about love and reconciliation. For those having problems with two spiritual paths in one family, I would like to offer this advice.
Above all, please understand that what makes you feel tense and awkward is not the spirituality itself but the pressure from your family to conform. You may resent their coerciveness and self-righteousness. You may feel their spiritual path is strange and unorthodox.
A good remedy to a situation like this is to learn more about the other spiritual path. Find a book by a respected member of that path and study it. If you are open-minded and willing to learn, then you will soon discover some aspects of that path resonating with yours. Although the outer spiritual symbols are different, the meaning behind them may sound oddly familiar to you.
You can also read a biography of a great spiritual teacher in that tradition, such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, or the Dalai Lama. As you learn more about their lives and faiths, you will be able to appreciate their courage and come to respect their path. This change of attitude will positively influence the family dynamic. Although you cannot control how your family feels about your path, at least you will no longer feel uneasy about theirs.
But if your family continues to be narrow-minded and to show disrespect, then speak up confidently and educate them. Tell them the great leaders of their path did not act that way. Martin Luther King Jr. and Thich Nhat Hanh respected each other; Thomas Merton and the Dalai Lama were good friends.
Those who understand deeper meanings beyond the surface and who try to embody humility and peace also recognize the familiar inner light flickering in the eyes of other religious followers.
When this happens, they become more humble and open to the mysteries of human incarnation while feeling connected to the fragility of human hearts.
We don’t receive more love from God by asking for it.
Rather, we awaken to the truth that God has always loved us unconditionally.
We don’t turn into a buddha by striving for it.
Rather, we awaken to the truth that we have been buddhas all along.
In the beginning, our prayer takes the shape of,
“Please grant me this, please grant me that,”
and then develops into, “Thank you for everything,”
and then matures into, “I want to resemble you.”
Eventually it transcends language,
and we pray with our whole being in sacred silence.
As my prayer deepens,
I hear more of His voice than my words.
As my humility grows,
I feel more of His love overflowing in my heart.
As my mind quiets down,
I sense more of His presence in every moment.
As your faith and spiritual practice deepen,
the sense of a separate self or ego diminishes,
leaving more room for divinity to fill your heart.
If you have prayed mostly to benefit yourself,
then shift gears and try praying to give up some of your control.
If you have been praying like this—
“Please grant me this. I really need this to happen”—
then try to pray this way as well—
“Enlarge my heart to hold and accept the things I cannot.”
Do not bargain with God, Buddha, or any divine being
to give you what you want in exchange for material offerings.
If you do not know how to solve a problem in your life, give prayer a try.
As you bring your attention inward and sincerely seek an answer,
something sacred within you unlocks the door of inner wisdom.
If you are desperately looking to meet someone special,
send your prayer out to the universe.
The universe is an amazing matchmaker.
Monastics can pray for many years because
their prayers of happiness for others make them happy.
As I prepare to officiate at my friend’s wedding, I become joyous.
For unenlightened people, not every day is a good day,
because they feel happy only when things happen the way they want them to.
For enlightened people, every single day is a good day,
because they feel free knowing that nothing can take away their wisdom.
When an unenlightened person does good, he tries to leave his mark.
When an enlightened person does good, he leaves no marks.
The holier a person is,
the more likely it is that she describes herself as a sinner.
This is because she doesn’t lie to herself.
“The saints are what they are
not because their sanctity makes them admirable to others
but because the gift of sainthood makes it possible for them to admire everybody else.”
—THOMAS MERTON*
Clergy and teachers tend to be verbose,
and older clergy and teachers even more so.
I hope I don’t become that person who talks endlessly
without noticing how the person in front of me feels.
It is a sign of great spiritual strength
to keep someone else’s secret.
“When a minister preaches, he must preach
not only to the congregation but also to himself.”
—REVEREND HONG JEONG-GIL
According to Cardinal Nicolas Cheong Jin-suk,
“There is no record of the biblical story of one fish multiplying to two or three.
There is also no record of fish falling from the sky.
What probably happened was that people took out their lunches
and shared their food with others after listening to Jesus’ moving prayer.”
A miracle is not just an otherworldly phenomenon transcending the laws of nature.
Letting go of self-centeredness and opening one’s heart to others
are just as miraculous.
There is a simple way to test the veracity of the Buddha’s teachings.
Find the most comfortable posture.
Remain in that posture for thirty minutes.
The most comfortable posture soon becomes the most uncomfortable.
Everything is impermanent, including the world’s most comfortable posture.
Do not force yourself on a spiritual path.
Let its teachings gently open your heart and lead you.
Like salt gradually dissolving in water, let the tea
chings dissolve in your heart.
EPILOGUE
Your Original Face
When you are so busy that you feel perpetually chased, when worrying thoughts circle your head, when the future seems dark and uncertain, when you are hurt by what someone has said, slow down, even if only for a moment. Bring all of your awareness into the present and take a deep breath.
What do you hear? What does your body feel? What does the sky look like?
Only when we slow down can we finally see clearly our relationships, our thoughts, our pain. As we slow down, we are no longer tangled in them. We can step out and appreciate them for what they are.
The faces of our family and colleagues who always help, the scenery that we pass by every day but fail to notice, our friends’ stories that we fail to pay attention to—in the stillness of the pause, the entirety of our being is quietly revealed.
Wisdom is not something we have to strive to acquire. Rather, it arises naturally as we slow down and notice what is already there.
As we notice more and more in the present moment, we come to a deeper realization that a silent observer is within us. In the primordial stillness, the silent observer witnesses everything inside and outside.