by Tom Marcoux
We make 3 lists with the levels Good, Excellent and Amazing
Good – these are the tasks that you’re sure you can get done
Excellent – these are tasks that require you to stretch a bit
Amazing – these are the tasks that catapult you to a higher level (this level requires Expanded Thinking).
In Thailand, during my Power Time Management workshop, I demonstrated this process with three volunteers. I gave the first person 5 pencils and called this “Good”—to represent 5 phone calls (to place for marketing).
I gave the second person 10 pencils to represent the “Excellent” level.
I called for two more volunteers. I gave the third person the whole can of 40 pencils. I said, “This is Amazing! You’re amazing.”
The audience laughed at that one.
Then I took pencils out of the can and gave them to the two final volunteers.
I said, “This is called leverage. This is also called delegating.”
Additional Insights about
Power Time Management
Personal Energy Paradox
One of my speeches is titled Personal Energy Paradox: Your Path to Success—Better than Time Management.
Here are some central elements of that speech:
I have observed that holding values like courage and compassion can give you “a star to steer by.”
However, those values are high bars to live up to and they can actually drain your personal energy. So, the Paradox is that having values that pull you forward like courage and compassion can also be the source of our beating ourselves up emotionally.
The solution to this is C&C—compassion and care. In particular, we’re talking about self-compassion and self-care.
The important thing is to develop a buffer of extra energy. I call this your Personal Energy Buffer. You create such a buffer by scheduling breaks into your schedule.
My phrase is: Take breaks or be broken.
Using Self-compassion, you’ll make sure to have a Personal Energy Buffer.
Self-compassion is a source of having extra energy. Compassion is defined as seeing suffering with the desire to relieve it. This is where self-care comes in. You do what’s necessary to take care of yourself so that you’re strong and you have more personal energy.
Final Bonus Material:
At my Facebook group known as “Leverage and Expand Your Success AND Happiness – with Tom Marcoux,” I’ve written these #LeverageTips:
#LeverageTip: With a tough decision, look for “the sparkle” – the one element that “clicks” in your heart and points in the right direction.
#LeverageTip: I release fear. I’m growing & stretching. My True Self runs the show & fear is a quiet voice in the background.
#LeverageTip: When you face a point of “I don’t know what to do next,” know that you Are Growing and you're just about to Rise Up.
#LeverageTip: Take a Break to Be Brilliant. (Let your creativity recharge.)
#LeverageTip: When someone says No, look for how your future has been Freed Up for a better experience.
#LeverageTip: Chip away every day.
Friends: Many of us want to truly connect when we give a speech. A Facebook friend asked about closing a speech well. I replied: “I often give a ‘final secret’ wrapped in a brief story – with a phrase no more than six words long. Story plus principle makes it memorable.” Then I thought about how using humor warms up the audience – here are examples in my 2.3 min. video. .... many happy moments to you https://bit.ly/2EYEt6d
#LeverageTip: Remember “it’s a show.” (Your message must engage and entertain.)
I invite you to join my Facebook group “Leverage and Expand Your Success AND Happiness—with Tom Marcoux.”
The best to you.
Reminder:
Get Access to Free Videos to Take Your Skills to a Higher Level
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A Final Word and the Springboard
Congratulations on your efforts with this book.
Please consider continuing to work with me through my executive coaching (phone and in-person), workshops and keynote addresses. Visit my blogs:
PitchPowerFest.com
GetTheBigYES.com
YourBodySoulandProsperity.com
Enjoy my YouTube Channel Success Even If (podcast on iTunes).
Meanwhile, to get even more value from this book, take the plans and insights that you created and place them in some form in your calendar or day planner. Plan and take action. Return to these pages again and again to reconnect with the material and take your life to higher levels.
The best to you,
Tom
Tom Marcoux
Spoken Word Strategist
CEO, Executive Coach—Pitch Coach
Special Offer Just for Readers of this Book:
Contact Tom Marcoux at [email protected] for special discounts on coaching, books, workshops and presentations. Just mention your experience with this book.
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Excerpt from
Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good
by Tom Marcoux, Spoken Word Strategist—Executive Coach
Copyright Tom Marcoux
. . . Now, I am in my 40’s, with gray in my hair, and for 27 years I have been taking action to protect people.
And now is the time for me to protect you with the Countermeasures I reveal in this book.
Every human being needs to be able to break the trance that a Manipulator creates. You need to make good decisions, so you are safe, and you keep growing—and you are not cut down and crippled.
This Darkest Secrets material is so intense that I first released it only with the counterbalance of my most energizing and uplifting books, Soar! Nothing Can Stop You This Year and Year of Awesome: How You Can Use 12 Success Principles including 10 Seconds to Wealth.
An interviewer asked me: “Who can be the Manipulator?”
A co-worker, a boss, a salesperson, someone you’re dating, and someone you think is a friend.
Now is the time—this very minute—for me to write this book to protect you.
I must speak the truth.
These Darkest Secrets of “persuasion masters” are …
Wait a minute! Let’s say it plainly: These are the Darkest Secrets of masters of manipulation. Throughout this book, I will call these people what they are: Manipulators.
Dictionary.com defines “manipulate” as “To influence or manage shrewdly or deviously.… To tamper with or falsify for personal gain.”
In this book, we will look on a manipulator as one who deviously influences someone with no concern about that person’s well-being, and who causes harm to that person.
Here is the first Darkest Secret:
Darkest Secret #1:
Manipulators Make You Hurt
and Then Offer the Salve.
Manipulators would invite you to go out in the sun for hours and then sell you the salve to soothe your burns. The problem is that we don’t notice that this is what they’re doing.
For example, you’re considering the purchase of a house. A Manipulator asks the question, “So, where would you put your TV?” This question is designed to put you into a trance.
Dictionary.com defines “trance” as “a half-conscious state, seemingly between sleeping and waking, in which ability to function voluntarily may be suspended.” Let’s condense this: In a trance, you may not be able to function freely.
Here is the second Secret:
Darkest Secret #2:
Manipulators Put You into a Trance.
To protect yourself, you must learn to use Countermeasures to Break the Trance.
All the Countermeasures (actions you can take to break the trance) in this book will make you stronger and more capable of protecting yourself.
&
nbsp; Now, we’ll view the third Secret:
Darkest Secret #3:
Manipulators Care Nothing for You and Human
Decency: They’ll lie, cheat, and do whatever they need
to do so they win—but their charm masks all this.
Let’s return to the example of a Manipulator selling you a house. A Manipulator does not pause for an instant to see if you can truly afford the new house. The Manipulator would neglect to mention that you will not only have your mortgage payment of $900. There will be additional costs: home repairs, property tax, water, electricity, homeowner’s insurance, and more. The Manipulator only emphasizes what he or she knows you want to hear: “Look! $900 is better than the $1500 you’re paying for rent, which is just going down the toilet. And the $900 is an investment.”
Let’s go back to Darkest Secret #1:
Manipulators make you hurt and then offer the salve.
The Manipulator has you feeling good about the solution (salve) and feeling bad about your current life situation.
How? A Manipulator will make you hurt through questions such as:
What bothers you about paying $1500 a month for rent? (The Manipulator will use a derisive tone when he says the word rent.)
What is not smart about paying rent on someone else’s house instead of investing in your own house?
How do you feel about your children walking in the neighborhood where you live now?
Do you see how these questions are designed to make you hurt enough so that you’ll buy?
An interviewer asked me, “Tom, aren’t these good arguments for purchasing a house?”
“What we’re looking at is the intention of the influencer,” I replied. “Let’s look at our definition of a manipulator as one who deviously influences someone with no concern about that person’s well-being, and who causes harm to that person. If the person truly cannot afford the house, he or she will be harmed by buying it. If the manipulator conceals the truth, the manipulator is doing harm. That’s the important difference.”
Some friends of mine are ethical and helpful real estate agents who truthfully reveal the whole situation and help the purchaser achieve her own goals.
In this book, we are talking about another type of person; that is, unethical Manipulators.
* * *
In any given moment, we need to remember the tactics Manipulators use. We will focus on the word D.A.R.K. so you can remember details easily and protect yourself from Manipulators.
D — Dangle something for nothing
A — Alert to scarcity
R — Reveal the Desperate Hot Button
K — Keep on pushing buttons
1. Dangle Something for Nothing
What do conmen and conwomen do to seize your attention? They make you think you’re getting a “steal.”
I recently saw a documentary in which a conman on a street in England showed a toy that looked like it was dancing. This fake product was actually dancing because of a hidden, invisible thread. The conman was dangling something for nothing. The Entranced Buyer thought he was getting something worth $20 for only $5. That was the trick. The Entranced Buyer felt that he was getting $15 extra of value for his $5. What the Buyer really got was something worth nothing. Similarly, I know someone who purchased a copy of a Disney movie from a street vendor in San Francisco. She brought the copy home and it was unwatchable—and the street vendor was never seen again.
An old phrase goes, “A conman cannot con someone who is not looking for something for nothing.”
How to Protect Yourself from
“Dangle Something for Nothing”
Stop! Get on your cell phone and talk through the “deal” with someone you know who thinks clearly. Go home. Think about it. Do some research on the Internet. Listen to your gut feelings. If the salesman or conman is too insistent, get away from that Manipulator. Get quiet. Have a cup of water. Cool down. Break the Trance!
Break the Trance and Identify the Crucial Detail
Earlier, I mentioned that a Manipulator puts you into a trance. An added problem is that we put ourselves into a trance. For example, as you read this, are you thinking about your right toe? Most likely not (unless you stubbed your toe recently). The point is that we only focus on a tiny percentage of what is going on in our life.
Around fifteen years ago, I caused myself trouble because I put myself into a trance. I discovered that under certain conditions, friendship can make you nearly deaf. Here’s how: I was producing a song for a motion picture. A good friend was singing backup in the chorus. Because of our friendship, I wanted him to sound great. I completely missed the Crucial Detail. In this kind of situation, the Crucial Detail is that what truly counts is how the lead singer sounds! I made a song that I could not release. What a waste of time and money! I had put myself into a trance.
In any situation in which the Manipulator is “dangling something for nothing,” we often fall into a trance and miss the Crucial Detail. The most important detail is not that we’re saving money if we order before midnight tonight. What counts is whether the product creates a lasting, crucial benefit in our lives. And is the benefit of the product worth the cost? Some people even program themselves to make mistakes by saying, “I can’t pass up a bargain.” The bargain is not the Crucial Detail.
Secrets to Break the Trance
This is the process of B.R.E.A.K.S. It will help you remember the proven methods to break a trance.
B — Breathe
R — Relax
E — Envision
A — Act on aromas
K — Keep moving
S — Smile
Secret #1: Breathe
Remember Secret #1: Manipulators make you hurt and then offer the salve. The Manipulator wants to put you into a state of being that fills you with a sense of urgency and anxiety. Oh, no! I’m going to miss the sale! Stop this highly vulnerable state. Take a deep breath.
End of Excerpt from Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good
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How Tom Marcoux Can Help You
When you want Real Confidence to Accelerate Your Success … work with Tom Marcoux, the Spoken Word Strategist and Executive Coach. Need help to take the grand stage in the world?—with a pitch, new brand, a business, a TED Talk, speeches, video marketing, a book? Imagine your impact with all of these elements optimized for Your Leap Upwards to Success and Fulfillment. Tom Marcoux has built his expertise with his life journey. Tom won a special award at the EMMY AWARDS, and his feature film went to Cannes Film market. He taught MBA students at STANFORD UNIVERSITY. The San Francisco Examiner has designated Tom Marcoux as “The Personal Branding Instructor.” As a pro member of the National Speakers Association (over 19 years), He taught effective Pitch delivery to Stanford Entrepreneurs and Silicon Valley Entrepreneurs ... and more.
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Tom Marcoux has coached thousands of CEOs, small business owners, startup founders, MBA students (Stanford University and other universities) and audiences. Author of over 50 books, Tom has two required textbooks for MBA students at Sofia University (on Authentic Marketing and Authentic Leadership Communication … the leadership book is Shape the Future, Lead Like a Pro). As a CEO, Tom has led teams in the U.K., India and USA simultaneously.
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Darkest Secrets of Charisma
Relax, You Don’t Have to Sell: How You Can Make Sales Without Being Pushy
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“Tom Marcoux coached me so well that when I faced a high-level prospective client, it was amazing. It was unbelievable how easy it felt to me. I wasn’t nervous because Tom guided me through all the rehearsing. Tom emphasizes ‘Words – Strategy – Rehearsal.’ I was more-than-ready because we had worked through all the possible scenarios. Tom also empowers me with his expertise with building a unique and compelling brand: logos, language, media releases, speech-writing, videos and more.” – Tim Cox, the Business Systems Strategist