Ally turned just as a tall and very cute boy stepped up to them. He was blond and blue-eyed with a winsome dimpled smile and confident manner. He was also definitely not Robbie.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m Justin.” He pointed to his name tag. “This is your handwriting.”
“Hi,” Ally and Amelia said in unison. Ally felt foolish. He wasn’t speaking to her.
“I’m one of the airplane people,” Justin said with a disarming grin. “And I was hoping someone could show me around while I’m here.”
“Sure,” Amelia said. Ally recognized the glow in her face, and it wasn’t good news for Robbie.
“How about right now?” dimple boy said.
“Okay,” Amelia said.
Then Ally watched in dumbstruck horror as the boy named Justin took Amelia’s hand and led her away, just like he’d done it a hundred times before. Ally looked back at Robbie just in time to see him spin on his heels and head out the door. He’d seen it all.
“Nice work, Henderson,” Ally said.
“Crash and burn?” Ally didn’t notice Jake approach. She slowly shook her head.
“Big time. I should just learn to mind my own business. That’s the yogi in me, I guess. I think I can fix everything.”
“Don’t kick yourself too hard,” Jake said. “Robbie had his chance.”
Ally’s smartphone rang. “Sorry,” she said. She reached into her jeans back pocket, pulled it out, and checked it. It was her mother again. Ally figured she’d avoided her long enough. She picked up.
“Mom?”
“Ally?”
“Yes, it’s me. Who else would it be?”
“Ally, I think we need to talk about your wedding.”
“I know, Mom. But do we have to do it right now?”
“Yes, I think we do. We have to call the guests and tell them. Some of them are flying in from out of town. They’ve spent money, Allison. They won’t be able to get all of it back. This is just so terribly sad.”
Ally sighed. She suddenly felt a rush of guilt. She’d been so wrapped up in feeling sorry for herself, she’d forgotten everybody else. Her mother was right. They had nearly a dozen wedding guests coming in from out of town. Nonrefundable plane tickets had been purchased, hotel reservations had been held. She felt selfish and thoughtless. As much as she would like to forget everything that had happened in the last few days, she had to face it.
“Okay, Mom, why don’t we divide up the list? You take half, and I’ll take half.”
“All right,” Ally’s mother said, “but what do we tell them?”
“Just that the wedding’s off, nothing more,” Ally said. “They don’t need to know details. Tell them I’ll be writing them later. Tell them I’m sorry for their inconvenience. How about this? You tell all the local guests, and I’ll take the ones from outside New York. Sound good?”
“I suppose so,” Ally’s mother said. Ally was annoyed that her mom couldn’t just agree and move on.
“Thanks, Mom. We can touch base tomorrow.”
“All right,” Lucille said. Ally could tell her mom wanted her to stay on the line. “I love you.” Ally felt a rush of emotion run through her. Maybe she’d been too hard on her mother. After all, Lucille was just as broken up about the whole wedding cancelation as she was—possibly even more so. She’d been looking forward to the day she married off her daughter since Ally was ten. She’d talked about it ad nauseam for twenty years.
Someday you’re going to find your prince.
Your wedding day will be the happiest of your life.
I can’t wait to see my baby girl in her wedding dress.
You’ll be such a pretty bride.
“Love you, too, Mom.”
Ally hung up and looked over at Jake. He was chatting with the mailman/mayor. Her eyes moved to Amelia. She was huddled close in a corner with the handsome airplane boy. He said something into her ear, and she laughed. It really didn’t look good for busboy Robbie.
Ally looked back to Jake, and he was swinging his niece Maddie around. The giggling little girl was so pretty in a Christmassy red-and-green dress and red shoes. She was beaming and seemed so thrilled to be playing with her uncle. Ally watched them for a moment and again thought about what life would have been like for her had she grown up in Bethlehem.
Suddenly, her eyes filled, and a lone tear broke free and rolled down her cheek. She wiped it away with the palm of her hand as Tina announced the next game. Ally felt her lower lip tremble, and she knew she was in real danger of a meltdown. Hold it together, she told herself. It’s not the right time to fall apart. But Ally knew she needed to be alone. She needed a real cry, a tension release; all that bottled-up emotion had to go somewhere. She took one last look at Jake, turned, and headed back out into the cold.
Chapter Twelve
“I blew it,” Ally said as she came out of the bathroom. She was in her PJs, and Noel was propped up in bed reading Baby Mama, a magazine for soon-to-be mothers. Ally had studied her red swollen eyes in the bathroom mirror. She’d had a good cry on the walk back from the community center. She’d softly sobbed as the snow swirled and flickered across the streetlamp lights. The streets were empty, as everyone was either in their homes or at the community center. She’d hesitated outside the door at Peggy’s, composed herself before going in. Peggy had stayed home to be with Noel, who, wisely, didn’t want to brave the icy streets at night.
“Blew what?” Noel asked.
Ally got down on the floor in Sukhasana. “I tried to help Robbie with Amelia, and it was a total disaster. Now, she’s with another boy.”
“Oh,” Noel said, “I don’t know who they are.”
“Robbie works for Jake at Charlie’s Diner,” Ally said. “He’s the cutest boy but hasn’t an ounce of self-confidence. Amelia’s the pretty girl home from college for the holidays. Apparently, he’s carried a torch for her since second grade or something like that.”
“How cute,” Noel said. Ally could tell her roommate was a little distracted by the article she was reading. “Ally, do you think I’m going to suck at motherhood?”
Ally laughed out loud, but when she caught a glimpse of Noel’s face, she could tell her roommate was serious. “Of course you’re not going to suck,” Ally said. “You have all the qualities that go into making a good mother.”
“Like what?” Noel asked.
“Well, you’re kind and caring and full of love. Those are the most important virtues you can have.” Ally slipped into Balasana. She bent over forward, tucking her legs beneath her, and pressed her forehead to the cool floor.
“Thanks, Ally,” Noel said. “I’m a little nervous about the Christmas bake-off tomorrow. Are you?”
“A little,” Ally said. “So, it looks like we’re going to be here another day.”
“Yeah,” Noel said. “I never dreamed I wouldn’t be spending Christmas Eve with my Brian. He said to say hello, by the way, and to tell you thanks for looking out for me.”
“That’s sweet,” Ally said.
“And, Ally?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m really glad it was you who sat in the seat next to me on the plane.”
Ally smiled. “Me, too.”
Ally moved into Padmasana as Noel’s phone bleeped. “It’s Brian! He’s FaceTiming me!” Noel fumbled with her phone and answered. “Hi, Baby!”
Brian’s heavily New Jersey–accented voice filled the room. “Hey sweetheart. I miss you.”
“I miss you so much, baby. I wish you were here.”
“Me, too. When are you coming home?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. Ask Old Man Winter.”
“Right,” Brian said. “We’ve got two feet of snow here. There’s no point in shoveling the walk, ’cause it’s covered again two minutes later.”
Ally decided to give them privacy and got up and headed to the door.
“Ally, wait,” Noel said. “I want you to meet my husband, Brian.” Noel turned the phone toward A
lly. “Baby, meet my roommate and new best friend, Ally.” Ally waved at Brian’s chubby, grizzled face on Noel’s phone. She could see he was nearly bald and wearing a pair of red-and-white snowman pajamas.
“Hi, Brian. Nice to meet you.”
“You, too,” Brian said. “And thanks for looking out for my girl here.”
“My pleasure. She’s looking out for me, too.”
“Well, Merry Christmas, Ally. Hope to meet you someday.”
“Same here,” Ally said.
As Ally headed out the door, she heard Noel say, “Isn’t she awesome? And so pretty, huh?” Ally smiled as she pulled the door closed. She wondered if Peggy was still up and headed for the stairs. She was happy Noel had connected with her husband. He would buck her up and reassure her that she would be a great mom to baby Chelsea Rose.
…
Ally found Peggy in the kitchen. Her hostess was wearing a bathrobe and fixing herself a glass of warm milk to take upstairs to bed. “Hi Peggy.”
“Oh, hello Ally. I see you’re still up.”
“Yes. Still on California time, I guess.”
“Are you enjoying your stay? I mean, considering the circumstances.”
“It’s been nice,” Ally said. “Considering the circumstances. I actually have sort of enjoyed myself…a little.”
Peggy nodded. “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
Ally let her words sink in. There was something comforting in those blunt words and the wise tones of her new friend’s voice.
“Do you know who said that?”
Ally shook her head. “No.”
“Walt Disney. And I think Mr. Disney was right. Sometimes we need a good jolt to wake us up and get us moving in a new direction.”
Ally nodded. “Thanks.” She felt a lump in her throat, and the corners of her eyes filled. Her hostess was gently reminding her that maybe there was purpose to all the madness.
Peggy rested her hand on Ally’s arm for a moment. “Well, fine then,” she said. “I suppose I’ll turn in. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Peggy.”
Peggy started out of the kitchen and then turned back. “Jake’s outside replacing some of my Christmas lightbulbs. He says it’s easier to do it at night when he can spot them.” Peggy gave Ally a wink and headed out of the kitchen. Ally thought for a moment, then opened up the cabinet and took out a box of hot cocoa mix. She started to open it and paused. Is Peggy trying to fix me up with her son?
…
Jake worked his way along the picket fence that surrounded his mother’s property. He’d already switched out a half dozen bulbs and had about a half dozen more to go. It was biting cold, and a light snow was falling. He thought about Ally, wondered why she’d left the party without saying goodbye, figured she’d already turned in. Maybe something happened; maybe her call had been more bad news. He felt for her. She was certainly having a Christmas to remember.
He’d heard the reports that the airports would be closed yet another day, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He appreciated the additional business at the diner, but it put a strain on his resources. He was having to double the trips to the market just to keep up with demand.
He did like the energy the plane passengers injected into their sleepy town, though. For the most part, they were good and kind people, grateful to have a place to lay their heads while the east coast dealt with the Blizzard Blast. He thought of Ally sleeping just inside his mother’s house. He couldn’t lie to himself. He knew he was developing feelings for the pretty yogi, and he was afraid that they would only grow the longer she stayed.
Maybe you should avoid her, he thought. Just keep your distance. She’s cut from a different roll of cloth, he reminded himself. It would never take, and you’d only end up getting hurt…or hurting her. Kate was the only woman he’d ever loved. And now it had been three years since he’d lost her. He’d rolled through the first four stages of grief without any trouble at all, but had found that—when it came to stage five: acceptance—his heart was stuck in cement. He lingered in stage four, depression, unable to get over the emotional hump.
The grief of losing his true love ate away at him in the months following Kate’s death. He became quiet and sullen, and nothing like his old gregarious self. The town, his friends and family, grieved along with him and gave him space. Kate was theirs, too—a daughter and friend and member of the Bethlehem family.
And then there was Ally. She scared him. He could feel the eyes of his friends and family on them—watching them interact, wishing them to be something. It was an unintentional pressure that he could feel in his bones. He sensed them wanting her to be more than just a stranded airline passenger. But what do you want? Jake asked himself. Don’t forget, he reminded himself as he replaced another of his mother’s Christmas lights, Ally’s just passing through.
Jake had to admit that he was different around Ally. That, for the first time in three years, he could feel a hint of a spark. A part of him couldn’t wait for the Blizzard Blast to lift, for the air castaways to be on their way again. It would be easier if she were just gone. He was afraid to face his feelings for Ally. Afraid of what they might mean. He even felt a little guilty for them, as if, somehow, he was being disloyal to Kate’s memory. But there was a change in him he couldn’t deny. He smiled more often, and his smile wasn’t forced for politeness’s sake. He even laughed. But what did she think of him? Really? Don’t read more into it than is actually there, he told himself. She’s just being polite. Maybe she only needs a friend.
“Hey, you.”
Jake hadn’t heard Ally come out the front door. He finished the final turn on the bulb he was changing and watched it glow to life. He could see her standing in the shadows of the front porch, and his heart skipped a little. He figured his mother had told her he was there.
“Hey. How’s the castaway?” he asked. And, for a moment, all his worries about falling for Ally and her just passing through and keeping his distance just slipped away.
“Fine, I guess,” she said. As she stepped off the porch and onto the walk, Jake could see she was holding two mugs. “Hot cocoa? Made it myself.”
“Sure,” Jake said. “Thanks.” She stepped over to him, handed him one of Peggy’s festively gaudy Christmas mugs. It was a stubby mini-mug with a snowman face on it and a candy cane striped handle. Jake took a sip. “Mmm. You’re good.”
“Thank the microwave,” Ally said. “And the shot of peppermint schnapps.” Jake smiled. Kate had made it just the same way. Jake felt a strange sensation wash over him. Something had shifted. What is that? he thought. That feeling? Then he knew, as if Kate herself whispered it in his ear. You thought of me, and your heart didn’t hurt.
“Guess you heard the airports are closed another day,” Ally said. “Seems like the storm’s not done yet.”
“I did hear that,” Jake said.
“I’m sure you’ll be happy to have us interlopers out of your hair.”
Jake shrugged. “Actually, it hasn’t been too terrible. I hear one of the passengers has been waiting tables at Charlie’s Diner.”
“I heard that, too,” Ally said. “Apparently, she’s working for tips and free coffee.”
They shared a quiet moment as they both sipped their spiked cocoa. Jake glanced up at the sky and noticed the clouds had again moved off. It was a bright, clear night thick with stars.
Ally followed his gaze. “Wow,” she said, “did I mention that I never get to see stars like this in L.A.? Incredible.”
“Yeah,” Jake said. “I’ve been looking at the Colorado sky most of my life, but I never get jaded. It still takes my breath away.” When he looked back at her, she was watching him closely.
“Do you blame Christmas?” Ally asked. Jake was taken aback by the question. “For what happened?” Jake wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’ve watched you,” she said. “You don’t seem to like Christmas songs. Your ho
use is…well, blah. No offense. I’ve noticed you never reply in kind when someone wishes you Merry Christmas.”
Jake let her words sink in for a moment. “I have a complicated relationship with Christmas,” he said. “For obvious reasons. Christmas Eve—three years ago—was the best and worst day of my life all rolled into one. That’s hard for me to deal with, and yet I have to face it every December, like it or not. There’s no escaping Christmas. I will say this,” he said, “Kate loved Christmas. It was her favorite time of the year. That’s another reason it’s hard for me to face.”
Ally nodded. She understood. It made perfect sense.
“I don’t know how things work,” Ally said, “in the afterlife, I mean. I guess nobody does. But, I think that—if you miss Kate so much—then she must miss you, too. I believe that love never dies. It’s just too strong. I didn’t know Kate, but somehow, hearing you talk about her, I feel like I do a little. And I think if she could talk to you, she’d tell you that you should smile when you think of Christmas. Because it was something she loved so much.”
Jake looked at her. He could see her breath in the glow of the Christmas lights. Your lips look so kissable, he thought. But he knew he was just being impulsive. Her words had touched him, not so much because he believed what she was saying, but because she cared enough to say anything at all.
Ally was looking right at him, and her eyes seemed to be sending him a message. Does she want me to kiss her, he thought, or is that just wishful thinking? Jake felt like his sensible side was arguing with the irrational side that was urging him to go for broke. Don’t do it, Sensible warned. What if she gives you her cheek? You’d never recover from such a rejection. Screw sensible, Irrational countered. You’ve got nothing to lose, and you know you want to.
“So,” Jake said, “I’m about to head out on a little clandestine mission. Wanna come along?”
…
“I made the first Snowman Bob when Maddie was three,” Jake said. “When she saw him in the yard the next morning, her dad told her the Snowman Fairy had done it.”
“Never heard of that particular fairy,” Ally said with a smile.
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