Was he staring at her during the ceremony when I thought it was me?
I feel sick. Of course he was looking at her. I can still feel the harshness of his words that morning when I challenged him, begged him to tell me something. But he’d shut me out. “I just don’t share. I’ve done that, and it came back and bit me in the ass . . . With someone I don’t talk about . . . ever. Not even my boys are allowed to talk about her . . ."
He was staring at her . . . because despite his confessions of what I mean to him, how indispensable I am, how he feels something for me . . . his heart still belongs to her. To Vanessa. Beautiful, striking, red-dress-wearing Vanessa. Awkwardly, Sutton says, “Oh, that’s . . . nice.”
“Sorry,” Vanessa says, smiling at me with her perfect teeth. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I was just so thrown off when I heard he had a fiancée. That’s amazing though. Congrats.” She gives me a hug, and I have this faint temptation to pull on her hair to see if it’s real. It’s too thick and full to be real. “I’m very happy for you.” She takes a deep breath and looks around. “I need to find my man.” Oh, well, I guess, thank God for small blessings; she’s moved on. “How weird is it that we’re both engaged now?”
My heart slams against my chest as my breath escapes me, my mind reeling back to the day in Rath’s office when he suggested the idea of getting married. The calculated look on his face, the wheels turning . . . the events he hasn’t taken me to, to help him further his business. I was thinking the other day how this arrangement only seemed to be benefitting me. Until now.
“Right, indeed,” Sutton says, taking my hand in hers, noticing my slow departure from the conversation. “It was lovely meeting you, but I think we’re going to freshen up.”
“Of course,” Vanessa says. “See you on the dance floor.”
She takes off while I try to catch my breath.
He said he wanted to get married so my grandma’s dreams would be realized. But the look in his eye was the savvy businessman . . . which is why I’m finding his sincerity a little impossible to believe right now.
“Hey, are you okay?” Sutton asks, tugging on my arm.
“Yes.” I smile, but I know it barely reaches my lips. “I’m fine. I, uh, wow”—I laugh awkwardly—“I was just thinking how hot it is in here. Do you mind if I step outside for a second?”
“I’ll come with you.”
“No.” I shake my head and pat her hand. “I just need a second.”
“Okay,” she says with worry in her eyes. “But I’ll be right here if you need anything.”
“Thank you.”
I take off quickly to the doors that are parted for me by waitstaff. Some of the wedding attendees have trickled outside to enjoy the beautiful sunset lighting up the sky and casting a stunning glow on the lake. But even though there’s pure beauty in front of me, I can’t enjoy it, not when my mind is going a mile a minute.
I grab my phone from my clutch and type a text to Linus.
Charlee: Where are you?
I don’t have to wait long.
Linus:. Been tied up helping with pictures. Love your dress. Save a dance for me?
Charlee: I have a question.
Linus: What’s up?
Charlee: Do you know anything about Vanessa?
Linus: Oh no, did she come up to you?
Charlee: Yes, and I’m kind of freaking out. Is she the girl who broke Rath’s heart?
The little dots appear and I wait impatiently for him to reply back, watching them bounce and disappear and then bounce, and disappear again.
“There you are.” Rath’s rich voice breaks through my panic as he comes up to me and slides his arm across my exposed back. He presses a kiss to my head and says, “I was looking for you.”
I stiffen and quickly put my phone away. Feeling awkward, I say, “Uh, great ceremony, right?” I shimmy away from him and sip my champagne.
Looking at me weirdly, he says, “Yes, it was, now tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing,” I say in a high-pitched tone. “Nothing is wrong. Just . . . wow, is this champagne extra spiked? Feeling a little loopy.”
He takes hold of my arm and guides me to a bench. “How many glasses have you had?”
“Just the one, but, huh, maybe it’s the dress, you know how expensive dresses are, make you feel . . . loopy.”
His brow creases as he studies me. “What’s up, Charlee?”
“Nothing.” I hiccup. “Nothing at all. You know just living my best life with this champagne.”
He studies the glass and then says, “Do you want me to get you some water?”
“Yes,” I say desperately. “Water would be awesome. Thank you.”
“Okay.” He stands and eyes me. “If I leave you, are you going to be okay?”
“Yup, I’ll stay right here.”
He nods and works his way into the venue where I can see him head straight to the bar, which is close to one of the windows, giving me the perfect opportunity to keep track of where he is. I keep an eye on him for a few seconds. He’s handsome every other day, but today in his tux, it’s like his hotness level has grown exponentially.
I turn back to my phone and read Linus’s text.
Linus: I see you. Be right there.
Crap, he’s on his way? I look up just in time to see Linus approach.
“I saw Rath come up to you so I held off for a second. Where did he go?”
“To go get me some water.” I scoot over on the bench so he can take a seat. “What do you know?”
We don’t have time for pleasantries. I need the details.
“Vanessa is here. She’s wearing red. Is that who came up to you?”
“Yes. Long brown hair.” He nods. “Is she the girl who broke Rath?”
Linus nods. “I don’t know much, but what I do know is that it wasn’t easy for him to get over her. I overheard Bram saying to Rath a few months back that Vanessa was engaged, and Rath didn’t sound happy about it.”
I nibble on my bottom lip and look out toward the bar where I see Rath waiting for a water. “Do you think he still has feelings for her?”
Linus shrugs. “I honestly don’t know.” He takes my hand and says, “But he has you, so he’s happy.”
“I thought he was, until he was staring in my direction the entire wedding . . . with Vanessa sitting in front of me.”
Linus shakes his head. “I doubt he was staring at her.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because, I see the way he looks at you.” Linus sighs and says, “I know I took the news a little weird about your engagement, and that’s because I was nervous about my credibility. I didn’t want Rath thinking I suggested you as an assistant because I was trying to hook up my friend with a rich guy.” Well, that makes sense. “But I know that was silly. I was just nervous, you know?”
“Oh, I get it, seriously. No worries.” I turn to look at Rath again, but this time, he’s not at the bar. I look around and then spot him, standing by the door, talking to her. “Oh God, they’re talking.”
“Where? Oh . . . I see them.”
“What do you think, is he still interested?”
Linus shakes his head just as Rath slips his hand to her back and laughs, just like he slipped his hand to my back. My stomach revolts on itself and I swear, I can see it all unraveling in front of me.
His reluctance to open up to me.
His urgency to be engaged.
His demand that my ring be huge, a status symbol many people will be checking on.
His need for me to look beautiful tonight.
It all makes sense.
All those things were important to him. Not me.
“He’s using me,” I say on an exhaled breath.
“What? No.” Linus shakes his head. “Mr. Westin isn’t like that.”
“Or is he?” I turn to Linus. “He clearly isn’t over her. Look at the way he can’t take his eyes off her, the hold he has on her lower back, the smil
e on his face. That smile isn’t reserved for me. And when he suggested we get married, it came out of nowhere. My grandma is sick, but I never expected him to offer that. I was so skeptical at first, but he told me it would help him out too with certain events and whatnot. We haven’t been to one event, besides this one. He’s not happy about her being engaged. This is all to make her jealous.” I laugh sarcastically and fold my arms over each other. “I can’t believe I fell for it. For his, I don’t want to share tactics. The fact that we only kept things in the bedroom. That we never socialized with his friends.” Why bother if the engagement had a very definite end date—when he saw his ex? “The fact that he still hasn’t introduced me to his parents . . . even before today . . . at their daughter’s wedding. I feel like such a fool, Linus. He was using me.”
“Charlee, maybe there’s an explanation.”
I stand from the bench and visibly shake as I move my dress so it doesn’t get snagged. “Yeah, the explanation I gave you. I know you like Rath, Linus, and you think very highly of him, but this doesn’t feel right. I know when I’m being taken advantage of, and I will not stand for it.” I tuck my clutch under my arm and say, “If anyone asks, I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to spoil the evening for Julia and Bram.”
“Charlee, please don’t go. This could be nothing.”
I give what I assume looks like just a sad look. But inside, my heart has been ripped in two. “Or this is pretty much everything I feared. I’ll talk to you later, Linus.”
Without another parting goodbye, I work my way around the building, avoiding Rath, and hail a cab. I should possibly stay and listen, maybe be here for Bram and Julia, but I’m hanging on by a thread, and if I don’t leave immediately, I’ll make a scene.
Trust me, I’m doing everyone a favor.
* * *
When I get back to my apartment, I don’t even bother switching on the lights, and head straight to my room, where I quickly undress and get into a pair of flannel pants and a regular white T-shirt. I release my hair from its confines and remove my caked-on makeup, hating that I felt pretty today, really pretty, and that I was only Rath’s Barbie doll to show off to his friends, to his ex.
By the time I’m done taking everything off, I check my phone where I see a few texts from Rath. I don’t bother reading them. A small part of me feels bad for leaving, knowing Rath can’t leave the wedding, not that he would. Maybe he’s having a fun time with Vanessa, dancing with her, laughing with her, getting drinks with her. Who knows, maybe Vanessa really isn’t engaged either and they’re both trying to pull fast ones to benefit themselves?
Not even remotely hungry, but thirsty from the dry champagne, I decide to get a drink but that’s when I hear my grandma walk into the apartment.
Crap. I don’t want her to know I’m home, because she’ll wonder if everything is okay with Rath, and the last thing I need is for her to worry. So, I go to shut my door just as I hear a voice say, “So you told her you were sick?”
I know that voice. That’s LeeAnn, Grandma’s friend from her senior home.
“I know you’re judging me, but she wasn’t moving on with her life. I saw the way she was looking at Rath. She needed to be pushed in the right direction.”
Wait . . . what?
“So, to get her to date again, you told her you were sick? Oh Janice, that wasn’t a good idea. What happens when she finds out you’re not?”
“I’ll just tell her the tests came back skewed and everything is fine.” For the third time today, my stomach falls to the floor and the need to throw up is heavy. “I did it for a good reason.”
Unsure what takes over me, I fling the door open, and storm into the kitchen. “And what reason was that, Grandma?” I ask, tears I didn’t even know I was crying, streaming down my face.
Startled, she rears back and says, “Chuckie, I didn’t know you were home. Aren’t you supposed to be at the wedding?”
“Yeah, but I left because looks like everyone in my life enjoys lying to me.”
“Rath lied to you?”
I shake my head, growing angrier by the second. “No, I’m not here to talk about him, I’m here to find out why you’ve been lying to me. My own grandma.”
“Chuckie . . . it’s not what you think.”
“Are you sick?” I ask, my voice terse. “Don’t lie to me.”
Licking her lips, she looks to LeeAnn, who backs away, and then to me.
“Are you?” I repeat myself.
“Honey, I . . . I saw how you looked at him.”
“So, you thought getting mixed up with my boss was a good idea for me?” I cry. “How is that a good idea?”
“I saw it all on my birthday. The glances, the smiles. I knew there was something there, more than just a mutual appreciation for one another. There was so much more, there was—”
“You had no right,” I say, yelling at my grandma for the first time in my life. “You had no right to step into my life and try to get me romantically involved with my boss. And then on top of that, you faked being ill? Do you realize how stressed and anxious I’ve been about you? Who . . . who does that?” I fling my arms to the side. “Holy fuck, who does that? I thought you were dying.”
“Chuckie—”
“No,” I scream. “Just no.” I point to the door. “You need to leave, right now.”
“Now, Charlee, let your grandma explain.”
“Shut up, LeeAnn,” I say, pointing my finger at the older woman who resembles Dorothy from the Golden Girls to a T. “You have no idea what her lie has done to me. What I’ve gone through, what I put my boss through.”
“But you found love,” my grandma says, grabbing on to anything.
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t find love. I found myself in a fake engagement so my grandma could see me walk down the aisle in her wedding dress before she died. I found that the guy who I thought cared about me was actually using me for his own benefit, to save face around his ex. I found that there isn’t anyone in this dark and dreary world that actually cares about me.”
“I do.”
“No, you don’t. You know how much I love you. You know you’re my best friend.” A sob wracks my body out of nowhere and I catch my breath. “You’re the one person I trusted most in the world and you took that and played with it. That isn’t love. That’s manipulation.” I take a step back and point at the door. “You need to leave, right now. I’ll have someone bring you your things but leave. I can’t even fucking look at you right now.”
“Charlee, please, just let me explain.”
“Leave,” I scream on a cry and then crumble to the floor. “Fucking leave. Now.”
I sense the hesitation in her steps, but God bless LeeAnn, because I hear her encourage my grandma to leave.
She faked it, faked everything . . . because I had eyes for Rath? How on earth did she think that was okay? Maybe she really is sick, sick in the head, because I can’t imagine any scenario where faking illness and getting your family worked up about it is helping in any way.
I’ve never felt more horrified. Foolish. Angry. Hurt. And mostly? Alone. Completely and utterly alone.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
RATH
Concerned, I tap my fingers on the bar and stare out the window at Charlee. She’s acting weird, and not her normal-self weird, but concerning weird.
During the ceremony, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her and her gorgeous dress. I kept thinking how we were going to be in the same position as Bram and Julia soon, walking down the aisle toward each other, and even though it started off as a fake engagement, it’s never felt more real.
Without a doubt, Charlee is the one I want. She’s the girl I want in my bed every night. She’s the one I want to give my heart to. She’s the girl I can see a forever with.
And not because we have the best sex I’ve ever had, that would be entirely shallow of me. That’s just the icing on top of the delicious Charlee cake. The reason I like her? She pushes me out of my
comfort zone. She makes me think about being a better man and pushes me to be one. She’s so fucking smart. Her smile is contagious, and she lights up the room when I’m in a bad mood. Most importantly, I meant what I said to her, she makes me happy. So fucking happy.
Linus walks over to her and I watch her greet him, giving him a light hug. Jesus, how long does it take for a bartender to get a water?
“Here you go, mate,” the guy says. Just because I’m not a dick, I stick a few bucks in the tip jar and then head toward the door. I’m really hoping whatever is going on with Charlee isn’t anything too serious, because I have plans for her.
“Birthday boy,” Bram calls out from across the room, pointing at me.
That’s gotten old pretty quick. I’m at an age now where I really don’t care about my birthday. It’s just another day at this point—although, Charlee’s birthday treatment is something to look forward to every year. We didn’t even come close to twenty blow jobs like she said, only two, but I did get to have her three times, and that right there is a goddamn present.
Bram gave me a present when I met up with him at his apartment. A Kindle, so I don’t have to read my “special” books as he put it in public with that book cover Charlee gave me. And then he stocked the Kindle with some of my favorite authors. And do you know why he knows them? Because he’s reading the books too and we compare who we like the best.
It was a pretty good present. Roark gave me a slap on the back and then slid some tickets in my pocket to go see the Bobbies in the playoffs. Several of his clients play for the Bobbies so he has an abundance of tickets . . . that he gets for free. When I pointed that out to him, he said the private jet he was flying me in wasn’t free.
Out of those gifts, I still like Charlee’s best. The picture that encompasses her soul in one shot and it’s hard not to stare at. I kept going back to it all morning.
“Oh, that’s right, it’s your birthday,” a familiar voice says, coming up next to me. I look to the side to see Vanessa with a glass of champagne in hand and a smile on her face.
Boss Man Bridegroom Page 34