by Anna Lowe
Any one of his buddies would fold into laughter if they heard his bear now. The bear who’d sworn he wasn’t ready to settle down despite the plentitude of women offering him their all. He’d never felt ready for a mate and a home and kids. But the second he’d met Summer, the burning need for a mate had flipped on, and he couldn’t find the off switch.
And not just any mate. Summer.
Summer, Summer, and Summer. Get it? his bear growled.
Yeah, he got it, all right. But what to do about it if Summer wasn’t ready?
She came around his side of the room and placed a coffee by his hand. When she leaned close, her hair fell in a silky curtain, and he itched to brush it back. To taste her lips. To make the haunted expression fade from her eyes just long enough to have them shine at him.
When she slipped away again, he saw the shadows under her eyes. She looked a little ragged, probably from all the working hours she’d insisted on putting in at the saloon and café. Worse, Sarah said she’d heard Summer crying herself to sleep some nights.
He wanted to take hold of Summer’s perfect hands and shake some sense into her. She thought she had to prove herself to the others? They’d long since accepted her. All she really needed was to accept herself.
Yes, she’d worked for the Blue Bloods. But she’d been forced to. She’d done everything in her power to thwart their plans, and she’d managed to save the shifter cubs the rogues had kidnapped. Why couldn’t she move on?
“What we need is an insider,” Kyle said. “Someone we can send to snoop around and see what the Blue Bloods are up to, if anything.”
Summer stiffened at the mention of the rogue pack, and it took everything Drew had not to leap over and hug the anxiety out of her slight frame.
“But who? They’d see through us in a second.” Sarah shook her head.
“Maybe we can get someone from another clan,” Soren said.
“A wolf would be better,” Tina said. “A wolf, like them. Maybe I can get someone from my sister’s pack in California to help out.”
“Are we really prepared to put someone in that kind of danger?” Sarah asked.
“If it’s for the good of the pack,” Tina said. “For the good of all shifters.”
“I’ll do it,” Luke said, raising his hand.
Sam shook his head. “I know their type, believe me. I’ll go.”
Several others volunteered or murmured suggestions until a clear, determined voice spoke up, silencing everyone in the room.
“I’ll go,” Summer said, looking fiercer than he’d ever seen her before.
For a split second, he could hear the hum of the refrigerator behind the bar. It was that quiet. But a moment later, everyone broke into a hubbub, supporting or rejecting the idea.
“Too dangerous…”
“Too risky…”
“Well, she is one of them,” someone else noted, making Summer wince.
She’s not one of them, he wanted to roar. She’s one of us.
The pained look in her eyes told him how much she wished for the same thing.
“Summer does know them,” Tina admitted. “And they know her. She could pull it off.”
Sarah nodded, too. “A deception. Summer can get closer to the rogues than any of us ever could.”
Drew wanted to holler, no, no, no! But even he had to admit she was perfect. Just the way she’d ghosted through the room before proved it. For all her natural beauty, she had a way of slipping through space unnoticed. Of listening when she seemed to be tuned out.
But he noticed, damn it. He noticed her eyes go a tiny bit wider, showing a hint of fear. He noticed how she threw her shoulders back when she spoke, forcing herself to be brave. He noticed the tremble of her lips.
She took a deep breath and spoke so vehemently, no one could protest. “I’m the best one for the job. I’ll do it.”
I swear, her eyes added, blazing at everyone in the room.
* * *
It all happened so quickly, Drew didn’t have time to protest. Once the others jumped on the idea of Summer as their insider at Hope Springs, everyone rushed on to arrangements.
“I’ll drive her to Utah,” Luke said.
“She can hitchhike the last couple of miles to Hope Springs,” Sam said.
Hitchhike? he nearly yelled.
“So no one sees any of us with her,” Sam explained, and again, Summer winced.
“We’ll give her two weeks to gather whatever information she can, then somehow report back…” Soren said, tapping his fingers on the tabletop.
Somehow?
Summer stood stiff as a statue, listening to them talk about her, not to her.
He wanted to bellow. Were they out of their minds? It was too dangerous. Too risky. Too rushed. Before he knew it, Tina had hurried Summer away to prepare to depart, concocting a cover story as she went. The back room of the saloon emptied quickly, and he stood there, clenching and reclenching his fists, ready to tear the place apart.
He grabbed Soren’s arm before the bear alpha could lumber out of the room.
“This is crazy. Are you really going to let her go?”
Soren scraped a hand through his hair, and damn, he didn’t look any surer about the idea than Drew was.
“I know it’s crazy, but it makes sense, too. We killed all the rogues she was forced to work for. Whatever believers are left in Hope Springs don’t know she resisted. She’s perfect.”
Well, of course, she was perfect. Just not in the way Soren meant.
“What if they figure it out?” Drew protested. “What if her cover is blown? They’d kill her on the spot.”
Soren looked grim. “You got a better idea?”
He nodded immediately.
“I’ll go.”
Soren snorted. “Sure. Those crazy wolves would welcome my cousin into that fucked-up den of theirs. They’ll trust you and spill all their secrets and all their plans. No problem.”
He shook his head. “I could make up a story.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’ve come on behalf of my clan. Katahdin clan, back home, I mean. A clan that’s concerned about what their cousins in Arizona are up to.”
Soren shoved him against the wall and fisted his shirt, looking ready to strangle him. “Is that what you’re here for? I asked for help, and the clan sent me a goddamn spy?”
Drew locked his hands around his cousin’s wrists and pushed back. “No. The clan sent me in good faith, just like you asked for. But yes, there are some elders who asked me to report back about what you’re up to here.”
“And what exactly were you planning to report?” Soren demanded, shaking with rage.
Drew stared his cousin right in the eye. “That you’re doing your family proud. That those elders can take their old-fashioned bullshit and go straight to hell. You’ve built an amazing clan here. Everyone pulls together. Everyone cares. Everyone knows their job and does it well. It’s everything a good clan should be.”
Soren loosened his grip a little, and the aim of his glare went from Drew to a point on the floor. “Damn elders. I guess they’re used to clans being made up of bears — and bears only.”
Drew shrugged. “Time for them to get used to a new idea.”
“Yeah.” Soren exhaled and let him go with a belated pat to his crumpled shirt. “Sorry.”
Drew scowled. Like he cared about his shirt. All he cared about was Summer. “Look, all I’m saying is they might buy that story and let me in.”
“Summer is still better. It makes more sense.”
“Then let me go with her. Let me protect her.”
Soren shook his head immediately. “No way. They’d see through that in a minute.”
“See through what?”
Soren scoffed. “It’s obvious, man.”
“What’s obvious?”
“I see the way you look at her. She’s your destined mate. You’re crazy for her.”
Drew pulled back, gaping. It was one thing
to consider if Summer could be The One in private. But to have his cousin say it…
Still, he tried dismissing the idea. “I just met her.”
Soren rolled his eyes. “With your destined mate, you just know. Your bear knows.”
Told you so, the beast rumbled from inside.
Dang. Could she really be his mate?
Soren leaned closer. “No way can you go up there with her. They’d see through you in a second. She’s better off without you. Trust me.”
Better off without me? his bear bellowed, raging inside.
But shit, Soren had a point. The Blue Bloods were passionately against wolves mixing with other species. And he was a bear. If Soren had figured out how much he cared about Summer, the rogues might, too, and the whole plan would be blown.
“I’m sorry, man,” Soren said. “You can’t go. No way.”
The words were meant to comfort him, but they were an order, too. Soren reinforced the message with a stern look before he turned and left the room.
And Drew? He stood there, shaking inside, wondering what the hell he could do.
A truck roared to life in the back lot, and someone shouted, “Summer, you ready to go?”
Drew hurried outside and gaped at Luke. “You’re going already?”
“No time to waste, man. Those rogues could be plotting their next attack right now.”
Jesus. He’d woken up that morning dreaming about Summer, thinking it would be a great day because he’d get to see her in and around the café. But the day was turning into a nightmare.
“But she’s not ready,” he protested.
I’m not ready. Not ready to let her go. He caught the thought before it slipped out. Shit. He’d never be ready to let her go.
“It’s a six-hour drive, at least,” Luke said. “She’ll have time to get ready on the way.”
“But…but…”
“Look, man. I know this is hard for you,” Luke said, keeping his voice low.
Shit. Luke knew Summer was his mate, too? Did everyone know?
Then a thought struck him. Did Summer know?
If she did, she’d hidden it well. Of course, he’d seen her eyes sparkle for him. But she’d never sought him out alone or spoken to him one-on-one. What if she didn’t feel the same way? Or worse, what if she’d internalized some of the nonsense the Blue Bloods had preached? He was a bear, and she was a wolf. He didn’t have a problem with that, but maybe she did.
His bear chuffed, refusing to accept the idea.
Without thinking, he bolted up the stairs to the little apartment over the garage where Summer was staying. He’d been staying in one of the spare rooms above the saloon, and even the fact that his window faced the street and not Summer’s side hadn’t stopped him from dreaming about her every night.
Was she his mate? He told himself it didn’t matter. He’d keep her safe even if she was someone else’s mate. Even if it killed him.
“Summer.” He grabbed the banister at the top of the stairs to keep from bursting into the room.
She was sitting on the couch, slumped over and shaking, and it wrecked him to see her like that.
She stood up quickly, trying to cover up her tears.
“Coming. I was just, um…”
You were just crying, he nearly said. It didn’t matter that she’d brushed her cheeks quickly. He saw the shine on her skin.
His bear cried, too, and before he knew it, he’d rushed to her side. And whoa — he hugged her, too, holding her close for the first time.
They stood in a tight knot, speechless, letting their hearts beat against each other. Desperately. Fearfully. But bit by bit, the pain and anger receded. Everything turned warm and fuzzy, and the outside world gradually receded to someplace miles away. He breathed in her scent and petted her hair.
Nice, his bear hummed. It was as silky as he thought. Silky and soft and so beautiful to behold, like the sight of her closing her eyes and hugging him back.
Then Luke beeped his horn outside, and fuck. The real world came blaring back.
Drew took a deep breath. Even if the occasion was all wrong, holding her felt so right.
“You don’t have to go,” he whispered, smoothing her hair. He tucked her head under his chin and squeezed, because fate was lurking nearby, ready to drag her away.
“I have to go,” she sniffled. Her arms, though, wound around his waist and held him as hard as he held her.
Mate, his bear growled. My mate.
“Don’t force yourself to do this, Summer. Don’t. Everyone will understand.”
She shook her head. “I have to go. Don’t you see? I have to go.”
The shake in her shoulders told him she was looking at her past. All those ghosts, grappling with her in a war he couldn’t fight.
Trust, a deep, ancient voice whispered in the back of his mind. You have to trust.
Trust what? Trust Summer to some cruel fate? If that voice had come with a face, he would have been tempted to punch it. Everyone knew fate messed around with innocent souls, and God knew fate had messed around with Summer. She’d been through so much already.
Trust that she has to do this alone, the voice said, echoing in the darkest corners of his mind.
Hell, no. Why should Summer face the rogues alone?
It’s not just the rogues she has to face, the voice murmured.
He sucked in his lips, not wanting to agree. But, damn. It was true. He had to force himself to let her go, didn’t he?
Trust me, the voice said, fading away.
He hated the idea. Fate let so many terrible things happen. History was full of examples of suffering and loss. Every day, somebody suffered somewhere. Why the hell should he trust fate?
I don’t want to let her go, his bear mourned.
But, shit. Maybe he had to.
She looked up at him with her chocolate brown eyes, making his breath catch. She wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at his lips.
Kiss her, his bear whispered. Kiss her good-bye.
Kiss me, her eyes begged.
He tipped his head down as she tipped hers up, and just like that, they connected. Really connected, like he’d never felt before. Not just by lips that moved gently, mournfully over each other. They were connected in the soul. He felt it in the tingle of his blood, the warmth that seeped into his veins.
Mate! his bear sang. My mate.
He pulled her even closer, deepening the kiss, tasting her when she opened her mouth. He treasured each exquisite sensation as it exploded in his mind. The way her tongue slipped over his lips. The perfect curve of her teeth. The way her body molded to his. She was so much slighter than him, and yet it was as if she’d been carved to fit in his arms. Or maybe he’d been carved to fit around her. Whatever. Energy pulsed between them, crackling like a fire kindled in a hearth. She cupped his face without letting go of the kiss, inhaling him as desperately as he held her.
She tasted so good. She felt so warm. Her scent overwhelmed him — the true scent of summer, when everything was alive and flourishing and bright.
Then the horn beeped again, and they broke apart.
He cursed under his breath. But Summer’s eyes fluttered shut again, and she leaned back in.
All mine, his bear growled. My mate.
The voice of warning tut-tutted in the back of his mind.
It would have been so easy to get lost in that kiss. To forget all about good-bye and let his hands explore. To touch her, to make her feel good. To rub his bare skin over hers while she wrapped her legs around him.
Getting naked with her was all too easy to imagine, because he’d dreamed it a dozen times already. Peeling her clothes off, exploring what she liked. Showing her what he liked, too, and discovering new pleasures together. Feeling her trust him…
Trust. There it was again. A reminder of the reality facing them both. Summer didn’t need him to hold her back. She needed him to let her go.
He took a deep breath and held her tight fo
r one second longer, pouring confidence and power from his body to hers. And finally, reluctantly, he released her.
They both gulped for a moment, gazing into each other’s eyes without saying a word.
“I didn’t want our first kiss to be a good-bye,” she whispered, making him smile.
Our first kiss. So he hadn’t been the only one thinking about it. He liked that. He liked the way she ran her hands down his chest, too.
“It won’t be the last one. I promise,” he said. And damn, his voice had gone all husky on him.
She caught her lip between her teeth and stared at him, and all the sorrow he’d felt earlier welled up again. He beat it back for her sake.
“I promise,” he said, and that time, his voice was hard, resolute.
I promise, his bear echoed inside.
The truck’s horn blew outside. Drew steeled himself not to let the pain show as Summer pulled slowly away from him, moving to the stairs.
“You really promise?” she asked, looking so valiant yet so afraid.
And shit, he was afraid, too. Like never in his life before. What if he couldn’t keep his promise? What if fate didn’t let him?
He shook the fear out of his head — that wouldn’t help her — and shoved certainty at her in waves. “I promise. I swear on my life.”
Chapter Three
One week later…
Summer shivered and hurried across the yard, looking up at a wintery Utah sky. God, she missed Arizona and the Blue Moon Saloon. She missed her room in the apartment over the garage.
And boy, did she miss Drew.
She missed his low, rumbly voice. His big bulk filling up the door. The sound of him carefully wiping his boots on the mat. She missed his rich, woodsy scent and warmth.
Here, she was cold and alone. So terribly alone.
She’d been in Hope Springs for a week now, and she was still on edge. The constant deception, the sidelong looks she received — they made her shiver as much as the frigid temperatures in the high-altitude desert.
The place would have been pretty if… She stopped herself there. It was a pretty place. The landscape, at least. Hope Springs homestead backed onto a huge step of the Colorado Plateau, where millions of years of earth’s history showed in a rainbow of rock layers. A light dusting of snow was all the more brilliant against the reds, oranges, and browns of the exposed earth. But the haphazard collection of run-down trailer homes seemed to have been discarded rather than arranged as a community. It was hard to tell abandoned buildings from the occupied ones. Paint was peeling, mosquito netting sagging, and no one made an attempt to beautify the area. No flowers, no tidy porches, no cheerful colors.