Voices

by R.E. Rowe

  We’re in serious trouble.

  “Charge him,” says Honesti. “Imagine he’s the grizzly.”

  “Don’t tell him that,” says Bouncer. “He's not activated yet.”

  I’m done waiting. Ignoring the sharp pain in my back, I lunge at JT. At the same time, Hank makes his move. Our sudden movement surprises JT.

  JT falls backwards when I plant my shoulder into him. He fires a white flash from his bracelet, shattering a picture on the wall. We end up wrestling on the floor. He gets off another flash of light that misses me, but hits Hank in the leg, instantly breaking it.

  Aimee’s mom and her uncle hurry over to help Hank.

  Before JT can shoot off another blast, I use all my energy to ram my fist into his nose. The effort drains every last ounce of energy I have. Dizziness overwhelms me and I cough up blood.

  JT pushes me off of him.

  I try to grab for his arm, but can’t get my fingers to cooperate.

  “Don’t pass out!” shouts Honesti. “You have to get up. Think about Aimee.”

  Honesti is right. But my arms and legs are too weak. I shake uncontrollably.

  The sirens sound as if they’re getting closer, but they might as well be a million miles away. When I try to get up, JT points his bracelet at me.

  Before he can fire off another blast, Aimee launches herself at him and hits JT hard in the face, again and again. Badass girl friend is kicking his butt.

  He pushes Aimee off of him and struggles with her on the floor. A blast from JT's bracelet misses her and grazes me.

  I try to grab JT’s arm, but before I can, another blast goes off and hits Aimee in the chest.

  JT stands up awkwardly, but Aimee isn't moving.

  “No!” I crawl to her and glance over my shoulder at JT.

  JT points his bracelet at me. “Screw General. I should have killed you both when you opened the door.”

  Oh no. I grab Aimee’s hand. Blood. A spot of blood on her chest rapidly expands and forms an expanding pool of blood on the floor. No. Please no.

  She’s barely breathing. “No,” I beg. “This can’t be happening—”

  JT throws his shoulders back and narrows his eyes. “You’re one crazy—”

  Suddenly, a loud explosion shakes the room before he can use his bracelet again. JT’s blood splatter hits the front door before he does.

  Steve found the shotgun and scored a bull’s-eye.

  Blood is everywhere. Aimee's mom screams uncontrollably. Hank swears as he kicks JT, making sure he won't be getting up. Her uncle Pete runs to get a medical kit.

  Steve doesn’t move. He stands as if he’s a statue, with the shotgun still pointed at JT’s lifeless body.

  It takes all my strength to hold Aimee’s head in my arms. She’s unconscious and not breathing.

  Aimee. Oh Ames.

  “I’m sorry Reizo,” says Honesti, sniffling.

  “Damn.” Bouncer snarls.

  The room spins around me, changing the color to gray.

  Screams fade away.

  The world flash freezes and turns gray.

  The time passes. The light goes. Lifeless masses. Spirit froze.

  Darkness takes hold.

  chapter fifty-three

  I emerge from darkness into the light and find myself sitting in front of my easel, overlooking the pond. Vibrant colors are all around me. The pond water looks soft, pastel. Bushes and trees radiate golden light. Joy. Warmth. Love is everywhere.

  I remember JT. Blood. Reizo is hurt.

  I’m—I’m dead? Oh God no.

  Where’s Reizo? This can’t be happening. It’s too soon. It can’t be my time. A sinking feeling pulls on me.

  I’ve lost him.

  I don’t see Grams, but I notice a radiant butterfly in the distance, its wings beaming with more colors than I knew existed.

  As I watch the colorful creature fly towards me, my panic slowly dissolves until I feel only joy.

  The butterfly circles me, leaving trails of beautiful light dancing behind it. It flutters, hypnotizing, magical.

  I know with my entire being I’m safe. But it’s too soon. I’m not ready.

  “What have I really done?” I ask the butterfly. “Nothing. I’ve not done anything since I died the last time. I hid from people. I ran from their energy.” I pause to reflect on the moment my life changed. “Until Reizo found me.”

  The butterfly glides in front of my nose, as if it’s trying to tell me something. But I don’t understand it.

  “Where is Grams?”

  The butterfly continues to flutter around me.

  I fall backwards on the soft grass near the pond and watch the butterfly fly over the pond toward brilliant bushes and shimmering trees stretching into the sky. A glistening frog swims as a lizard does push-ups. A crawdad scurries about near birds playfully chasing each other. Three skeeter bugs skim across the pond’s surface.

  Everything around me is full of life. Beams of pure energy pass through me.

  I’m overwhelmed with love and joy. The energy connects me to everything beautiful.

  But where’s Grams? I need more time.

  There are so many things I still want to experience. Spending time with Reizo and my family. Exploring the world.

  “I can do better,” I say to the floating butterfly. “I’ll embrace the energy from people rather than letting them crush me. I promise.”

  I stand up and search around for Grams. “Where are you? Please Grams. It can’t be my time yet. It can’t be.”

  Before long, I give up looking for Grams and sit down on a folding chair in front of the pond. It's exactly like the one I used when I was painting.

  In the distance, I watch the butterfly slowly flutter away.

  chapter fifty-four

  Gliding out of the darkness, I emerge into brilliant light and bold colors.

  Why should I care? Why do I cry? Spirits glare. Hopeless sky.

  All around me the greens are greener. The blues are deeper blue. The red flowers are bolder, the browns richer. Everything is bathed in golden light and more colorful than any 3D scene I’d ever imagined.

  Oak trees, bushes, and grass surround a pond resembling Murdock’s pond. But the pond in front of me is way more real, more alive, and more amazing than Murdock’s pond.

  I feel good, really good.

  I instantly recognize Aimee sitting alone on a fold up chair near the pond. The next instant, I find myself sitting next to her, as if we are painting, like we’d done before all the craziness started.

  I jerk my head around and stare at Aimee. “What’s happening?”

  Aimee’s eyes widen. “Reizo, I can’t believe you’re here.”

  I try to understand, but I’m confused.

  “It’s okay, Reiz. I’m with you,” says Aimee. “It’s safe here.”

  In an instant, I feel a wave of joy, cresting and collapsing through me. Love is everywhere around me. But it’s weird. I have no sense of touch or smell, yet I feel everything and smell everything.

  I gaze deeply into her dazzling eyes.

  She smiles. Her face beaming and her black hair and side-swept bangs shimmer and glow.

  She’s so beautiful.

  “You look amazing,” I say.

  Then I realize her hair looks like it did before Zeke’s gang shaved it. My hair is long again too.

  Suddenly, I remember everything. Uncle Pete’s ranch house. Zeke. JT. Blasts of light. Pain.

  I panic. “You were hit with a blast. I was too. What is happening to us?”

  Aimee smiles wide, her eyes sparkling like a clear starry night. Her calmness puts me at ease.

  “Are we dead?” I ask softly.

  A glow radiates from her. Warm. Loving. Kind. But she doesn’t answer.

  “This is like the experience you told me about, right? The one you had with your grandmother. Am I right, Ames?”

  “Yes,” she says softly. “But it’s d
ifferent this time.”

  “Different? What do you mean different?”

  “It’s my time, Reiz.” She pauses. “But I don’t think it’s your time yet.”

  I look across the vibrant pond and remember how Ames described her visit with her grandmother. “But I—I don’t understand.”

  She moves in close. “I’ve been given a chance to say good-bye.”

  “Good-bye? What? No. You can’t. I won’t. I—”

  “Reizo, listen. I’m sure it’s not your time. I can’t explain it, but I know it. You have more to do. More to experience.”

  “But Ames, so do you. We both do. You and me—please.”

  “I know it seems impossible. But you can choose to return. I know you can. I’ll wait for you here while you finish your life, I promise.”

  “But I—”

  “Please, Reiz. Promise me you’ll go back and live. Value your life. Experience it. Touch people with your gifts, your love. Share everything with everyone.”

  “What gifts?” I ask, shrugging my shoulders.

  She can’t force me to go back, can she?

  “Adding color to the gray. You’ll know what to do. Other gifts too. Like Grams had told me, gifts you’ll discover over your lifetime. Take it one day at a time. Have faith. Trust. The world needs you.”

  “Ames—” I gaze at her beauty. The moment feels timeless. Boundless. Yet the thought of returning without Aimee is unbearable. My heart feels like it’s in a vice that’s tightening.

  A fire grows inside me. Defiant. Bold. “No way. I’m not returning without you, Ames. I won’t. Tell whoever makes the stupid rules around this place that they need to change them.” I look up and yell. “You hear me? The rules need to change!”

  Ames wraps herself around me in an intense embrace of energy.

  “I’ll go back if you come with me, plain and simple. Make them understand, Ames. Please. Come back with me.”

  Our embrace tightens. “Shh,” she whispers.

  Her whisper causes my fire to cool. I feel love everywhere again. Joy swirls around me. I know in my heart that Aimee has always been connected to me. I’ve always been connected to her. Warm rays of light circle us.

  Fear and anger evaporate. All I feel is love.

  My anxiety turns to laughter. I love her so much, but somehow I know she’s right.

  “Promise me,” Aimee says again, her voice sounding like a slow-playing cello, peaceful and soothing, like one of the songs she’d always played on her cell when we painted.

  Soft. Sensual. Joyful.

  Her beautiful light touches my lips in a kiss.

  “Reizo, don’t worry. I’ll always be near.”

  I see a glint of determination in her blue eyes. I trust her and believe what she’s saying.

  I want to fight the rules, change them. But I suddenly remember I have more to do. Something important is pulling me back to my life. Something strong is pulling me back.

  I know Ames is right.

  I know I need to return.

  I can't explain why.

  “I’ll miss you,” I tell her.

  “Please promise me you'll return.” Typical Ames, she’s persistent when she wants to be. “Promise you'll experience your full life. Please Reiz. It’s important.”

  She doesn't need to convince me. I know deep within my soul. I need to return.

  “I promise.”

  chapter fifty-five

  Across the pond, Grams appears and waves at us. Her wavy gray hair shimmers as a smile stretches across her rosy face. She’s beaming with excitement.

  “Is that your grandmother?” Reizo asks.

  “Yes. I think she’s come to take me with her.”

  Reizo and I stand and embrace, but not in a physical way. It’s as if our life energies merge and combine. I’ve never felt so connected, so in love. Then, in a flash, Grams stands in front of us, holding out her glowing hands in front of me.

  “This is Reizo,” I say. “Reizo, this is Grams.”

  “I’ve heard a lot about you,” says Reizo in a shy voice with his goofy half-smile.

  Grams face beams with love. “Oh my. I hope what you have heard is all good.”

  “Yes ma’am. Of course,” Reizo says, and then abruptly adds, “Does Ames really have to stay? Can’t she come back with me? Please, ma'am.”

  “Well now,” Grams says. “You have the rest of your life to experience. You have much to do, young man. But I'm afraid Ames has work to do here.”

  Reizo frowns.

  “It’ll be hard going on without Aimee. I know how much you love her. Returning will be difficult for you, child.” Her voice is soft and calming. “Just take each day for what it brings you.”

  “Grams?” I say.

  “Yes, darling.”

  “I need to know. Was my purpose to save Reizo?”

  Reizo frowns and raises his voice. “What?”

  “Oh, my dear.” She shakes her head no.

  “What then?” I ask. “I haven’t done anything since the last time I saw you.”

  “I'm sorry, Ames. Your heart was weak.” Grams sighs. “Occasionally, the freewill action of another has consequences that shortens an innocent person's life. Such is your case, I’m afraid. Your injuries made it impossible for you to return, dear.”

  The colorful butterfly reappears and lands on Grams’ shoulder, fanning its wings that have now tripled in size.

  I feel energy around me like a nearby thunderstorm on a hot summer day.

  “But I thought soul mates were meant to be together,” Reizo says. “Aren’t we soul mates?”

  “A complicated question indeed.” She smiles. “To understand the answer, you need to think beyond three-dimensions. Think in terms of higher-realms of existence.”

  Reizo looks confused. “Realms—what?”

  “I’m not following you either,” I say.

  “Well, think of it this way. You are two souls who chose to be together and experience life. And you did so. Your experience was cut short, but you did experience some of life’s magic together.”

  Reizo is frowning. He embraces me with his warm energy. “But if we’re soul mates, what’s the point of me living without Ames?”

  “Oh, young man. As I said, you are two souls who chose to be together. If you go back, you will meet other souls during your lifetime. You will experience life with them too. Such experiences will never take away from the love you have for Aimee.”

  “You mean we have more than one soul mate?” Reizo asks.

  A smile stretches across her wrinkled face. “In the end, all souls are connected. You might say we are all soul mates.”

  Reizo looks down at his feet.

  Grams raises his chin and peers deep into his soul. “What is it, dear?”

  “I’m still not sure how I can live without Aimee,” he says.

  “Simple. Follow your passion. Within passion, you will find purpose and meaningful life experiences.”

  Grams talks fast and looks at me with a serious gaze. “Oh my. Oh dear. We don’t have much time. We must follow the rules, you see. Reizo must return and we must go now. ” She turns to Reizo. “Good bye for now, young man. Look and you will see.”

  Before I can say a word, Reizo’s energy vanishes.

  Grams and I merge into the brilliant white light.

  WELCOME TO THE CLOUD

  Login: general

  Password: *********

  Hello General

  We have hacked your system. You will lose the war this time.

  Your ridiculous rules will be replaced with my Carmina manifesto.

  Good-bye General

  Login:

  Login:

  Login: general

  Password: *********

  404 - User Not Found

  Segmentation Fault (core dumped)

  0000 0100 0b23 013a5

  0001 01e0 1243 01c04

  0002 23b4 3df3 23934

  0004 0100 0b
23 013a5

  0005 01e0 1243 01c04

  0006 5334 3cc3 25977

  333...333...333...

  rebooting.........

  ACCESS DENIED

  CLOUD ACCESS LIMITED

  REINCARNATION SYSTEM IS OFFLINE

  HAVE A NICE DAY

  Logins disabled

  Super user access only

  chapter fifty-six

  I gaze at the railroad tie roof of the storm shelter from the old cot while the antique music box plucks notes. Tears run down my temples. A couple months ago, I’d danced with Aimee in the shelter. We’d kissed for the first time.

  Who was the wise ass that said painful loss fades with time?

  My feet hang over the end of the antique cot as I gaze up at the railroad tie ceiling of the long lost storm shelter that Aimee and I had found near the pond on her uncle’s ranch. In the light of a battery-powered lantern with an antique music box playing, I toss up a leather ball I found in one of the shelter’s cabinets. It’s weird thinking that my second great-grandpa Thomas was about my age when he lay in this exact spot a hundred-and-fifty-years ago writing in his diary. I catch the ball and grimace.

  I miss you, Aimee.

  Doctors had given up on Aimee and me, even declared us both dead in the emergency room. One young doctor hadn’t given up on me. It’d taken multiple tries before she managed to replace the blood I’d lost and restart my heart, bringing me back to the living.

  Aimee wasn’t so lucky.

  I remember reading a passage Grandpa Thomas wrote in his diary about losing the girl he loved. Tears let loose and run down both cheeks. If I had a diary, I’d write about my Aimee.

  After the funeral, Aimee’s mother helped my mom find the best psychiatrist in the country, not a fake doctor like Doctor Stewart at Willowgate Psychiatric Hospital. Through trial and error, the doctors came up with a combination of meds that silenced the two voices in my head without turning me into a creative zombie. But the doctors will never be able to fix my broken heart.

  I imagine brushing my lips across Aimee’s cheek until I find that warm spot behind her ear. I take in a deep breath, but it catches in my throat as my ribs try to expand. I hesitate, then toss the ball upward as I exhale.

  “I love you, Ames. I miss—”

  “Reizo?” a soft voice whispers.

  “Huh?” The ball hits my chest and falls off the bed. I struggle to stand up in a hurry and use my fingertips to comb back my hair. Weird. The voice sounds like Aimee.

  “Hello?”

  No answer.

  “Is someone here?” I shuffle around the old storm shelter and try to locate the source of the voice.