(He kisses her neck.)
BECCA
What are you doing?
HOWIE
I’m kissing your neck.
BECCA
Why?
HOWIE
I’m trying to relax you.
BECCA
Uh-huh.
HOWIE
Something wrong with that?
BECCA
I see what this is. Dimming the lights.
HOWIE
What? I can’t massage my wife?
BECCA
(Giggles a little) You don’t have eye strain.
HOWIE
So?
BECCA
“Oh I’ve been staring at that computer all day.”
HOWIE
Well I do stare at that computer all day.
BECCA
You’re trying to seduce me.
HOWIE
Am I?
BECCA
Plying me with liquor.
HOWIE
It worked in college.
BECCA
All right, Romeo.
HOWIE
What?
BECCA
(Pushing him away playfully) That’s enough.
HOWIE
Why?
BECCA
You’re being very naughty.
HOWIE
Naughty’s good. You used to like naughty.
(She gets up from the couch.)
Where are you going?
BECCA
I still have stuff to bag up.
HOWIE
Are you kidding?
BECCA
No, there are piles of clothes up there, Howie.
HOWIE
Well if they’ve waited this long.
BECCA
I wanted to get it done.
HOWIE
We’ll get it done tomorrow. I’ll pitch in.
BECCA
Yeah, right.
HOWIE
I will.
BECCA
Uh-huh.
HOWIE
Becca ...
BECCA
I’m sorry. I’m feeling kinda antsy tonight. You’re right, the Izzy stuff got under my skin.
HOWIE
Right.
(He clicks the music off. Pause.)
BECCA
So, what, you’re gonna pout now?
HOWIE
Well Jesus, Bec . . .
BECCA
Jesus, what?
HOWIE
It’s been almost eight months.
(Beat.)
BECCA
But who’s keeping track?
HOWIE
I am. I’m keeping track.
(Beat.)
I’m sorry. (Off her look) What? That makes me perverted? Wanting to have sex with my wife?
BECCA
I didn’t say that.
HOWIE
Well you give me these looks like I should feel guilty.
BECCA
Funny, I’ve been getting the same looks from you.
HOWIE
When have I ever made you feel guilty?
BECCA
I’m just not ready yet, Howie. I’m sorry if you think that’s abnormal.
HOWIE
I don’t.
BECCA
Then what’s the problem here?
HOWIE
We’re never gonna be ready.
BECCA
If this is just about the sex, Howie—
HOWIE
It’s not just about the sex.
BECCA
No, then what else is this?
HOWIE
It’s also ... about ... I don’t know. Maybe it is just the sex. I don’t even know honestly. But we’re not gonna suddenly wake up one day and be back where we were.
BECCA
I know that.
HOWIE
So we need to ... head in that direction at least. Which will feel strange for a while, but ...
BECCA
But you wanna have sex.
HOWIE
Don’t say it like that.
BECCA
Why not?
HOWIE
Because it sounds crass and selfish.
BECCA
Well considering everything else—the fact that Danny died for example—don’t you think maybe it is a little crass and selfish? For you to be roping me into sex when I don’t wanna have it?
HOWIE
I wasn’t roping you into anything. Jesus.
BECCA
No? Al Green isn’t roping?
HOWIE
No.
BECCA
Al Green.
HOWIE
I thought it was nice. That’s all. I was trying to make things nice.
BECCA
Well ... you can’t. I’m sorry. But things aren’t “nice” anymore.
(Pause.)
HOWIE
I think you should see someone. I know you’re not one for therapists, but I think you should. We could go together if that’d help. Or maybe you could try the group again.
BECCA
No.
HOWIE
There are a couple new parents now. It’s changed the dynamic a little.
BECCA
We’ve had this discussion, Howie.
HOWIE
Fine, a psychiatrist then. Someone to talk to.
(Pause.)
No? Yes? Do you have an opinion?
BECCA
I think we should sell the house.
(Beat.)
HOWIE
Come on, Becca, what?
BECCA
I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and since we’re on the topic—
HOWIE
How were we on the topic?
BECCA
I think it’d help if we moved.
HOWIE
I don’t wanna move.
BECCA
He’s everywhere, Howie. Everywhere I look, I still see Danny.
HOWIE
We love this house.
BECCA
I can’t move without—I mean, Jesus, look at this. (Grabs a spiky toy dinosaur from nearby) Everywhere. Do you even know? (Grabs a kids book from a stack of magazines) Here: Runaway Bunny for godsake. The puzzles. The smudgy fingerprints on the doorjambs.
HOWIE
I like seeing his fingerprints.
BECCA
Because you don’t have to sit and stare at them day in and day out. You get to escape. You get to go to work.
HOWIE
Well, if you want to go back to work, Becca—
BECCA
I don’t.
HOWIE
—you can call up Sotheby’s.
BECCA
No I can’t. That’s not who I am anymore. I left all that to be a mom.
HOWIE
Well ...
BECCA
Well what? Well that didn’t work out?
HOWIE
I didn’t say that.
BECCA
Then what?
HOWIE
If that’s the issue—
BECCA
If what’s the issue?
HOWIE
—then ... maybe we should try again.
(Beat.)
BECCA
Oh for godsakes, Howie ...
HOWIE
What? I’m only saying.
BECCA
Is that ... Is that what this was?
HOWIE
No. No, of course not. It just ... it might be something to talk about at some point.
BECCA
I ... I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t have that talk.
HOWIE
Okay.
(They are silent, then Becca heads for the stairs. She stops and turns back.)
BECCA
Look maybe ... maybe we can consider it at least. The house?
(Beat.)
HOWIE
Yeah. we’
ll consider it.
BECCA
Thank you.
(Becca heads upstairs with the dinosaur and the book. Howie watches her go. He sits alone for a couple beats. Then he gets up and goes to the TV cabinet. He rummages around quietly, looking through videotapes. He finally finds what he’s looking for.
He glances up the stairs, then pops the video in. He shuts off the lights, then sits and watches, the light from the TV flickering on his face. He’s watched this tape dozens of times. He doesn’t tear up. He just watches it, occasionally smiling at something he hears. The volume is low, but we can hear some of it.)
VOICE OF DANNY
Now can I?
VOICE OF HOWIE
Let me just get the dog. Taz, lay down.
(On the video, we hear a dog barking and whining a little over this.)
VOICE OF DANNY
Ready?
VOICE OF HOWIE
Hold on. Taz, down!
VOICE OF DANNY
Lay down, Taz!
VOICE OF HOWIE
I got him. Quick now, before he gets up. Come on, come on ...
(Danny comes running.)
Aaaaand ...
VOICE OF DANNY
Geronimo!
VOICE OF HOWIE
Good job!
VOICE OF DANNY
Did you see me, Daddy?
VOICE OF HOWIE
I did.
VOICE OF DANNY
No you didn’t. I’m invisible.
VOICE OF HOWIE
Ohhh.
(Becca’s shadow appears at the top of the stairs, unseen by Howie. She listens for a couple beats.)
VOICE OF DANNY
I have magic.
VOICE OF HOWIE
Oh, I didn’t realize.
VOICE OF DANNY
Do you wanna be invisible?
VOICE OF HOWIE
Okay.
VOICE OF DANNY
Pffffhhh.
VOICE OF HOWIE
Is that it? Am I invisible?
VOICE OF DANNY
Yeah. I made you invisible.
(Becca’s shadow slips away from the stairs.)
VOICE OF HOWIE
Do you see me?
VOICE OF DANNY
Yeah.
VOICE OF HOWIE
No, you don’t. I’m invisible.
VOICE OF DANNY
But I can still see you because I have magic.
VOICE OF HOWIE
Ohhh.
VOICE OF DANNY
Did you forget that part?
VOICE OF HOWIE
Yeah, I forgot that part.
(The lights fade on Howie, watching the video.)
SCENE THREE
The eat-in kitchen. A week later. Evening. Becca, Izzy and Nat, their mom, are gathered around a birthday cake singing “Happy Birthday.” Nat has a glass of wine.
NAT AND BECCA
(End of the song) “Happy birthday, dear Isabel ... Happy birthday to you ...”
NAT
Blow ’em out.
(Izzy blows out the candles. Ad-lib yays and clapping. Becca goes to get a knife.)
BECCA
What’d you wish for?
IZZY
I can’t say.
(Regarding the cake) It looks good, Becca.
NAT
Where’d you buy it?
BECCA
I didn’t. I made it.
NAT
Of course you did. What a stupid question. Of course you made it.
BECCA
(Catches Izzy scooping off the frosting) Izzy—
IZZY
It’s my cake.
BECCA
Well let me cut it first. Watch your fingers.
(Becca cuts slices of cake and puts them on plates over the following. Howie enters with a couple papers.)
HOWIE
You didn’t wait for me?
BECCA
You said not to.
HOWIE
I didn’t mean it though.
NAT
I tried to stop them, Howie.
IZZY
I wanted cake.
HOWIE
Rude.
BECCA
I didn’t know how long you were gonna be up there. Once you get on that computer ...
NAT
Did you get it?
HOWIE
Yeah, right here. (Hands her papers)
NAT
Let me get my glasses. (Gets her glasses from her purse)
BECCA
(To Howie) Did you have to?
HOWIE
She wanted me to look it up.
BECCA
Any excuse to escape for ten minutes.
IZZY
(Regarding Nat) Well do you blame him?
NAT
(Regarding printout) What is this?
IZZY
Mom, cake.
HOWIE
It’s a timeline, starting with the lobotomy. The plane crashes. It’s the whole list. It’s long.
NAT
Well still, that doesn’t make it a curse.
BECCA
Nobody said it was a curse, Mother.
NAT
Everybody says. That was my point. Everybody says it’s a curse.
BECCA
Well nobody in this room.
NAT
You know what it is, really? Hype. Perpetuating the myth. That whole American royalty crap.
IZZY
It’s good cake.
NAT
But the Kennedys aren’t cursed. They’re just really unlucky. And kinda stupid, a lot of them.
HOWIE
Cut me a piece, wouldja Bec?
NAT
Too much money, that’s their curse. And too much time on their hands. If they had to go to work, like normal people, then most of those Kennedys would still be alive.
IZZY
Thanks, Howie. I’m so glad you went and got that timeline.
NAT
Maybe if they had stayed home and watched television once in a while, instead of zipping off to Vail, then none of that stuff would’ve happened.
BECCA
You have the most interesting theories.
NAT
Don’t patronize me.
BECCA
I’m not. I was being serious.
IZZY
(Regarding cake) This is so good.
NAT
Normal people don’t fly around in their own planes for example. I don’t know anyone with his own plane, do you? Do you, Howie?
HOWIE
Well, yeah I know one guy but—
NAT
Well, you know someone, but that’s not the norm. An average person doesn’t own an airplane.
HOWIE
No, you’re right, he’s not average.
BECCA
He’s a member of the jet set.
NAT
Exactly! That’s what that word means! The jet set. Jet-setters! Buzzing around in little Pipers or whatever, crashing off the coast of Massachusetts. Regular people don’t have ten relatives die in separate plane wrecks.
HOWIE
It’s not ten.
NAT
Just about, if you count Teddy who survived his.
IZZY
Well I think it’s sad.
BECCA
Teddy surviving?
NAT
Well of course it’s sad. All those good-looking people falling out of the sky like that. It’s a frickin’ waste. But it isn’t a curse. It’s just rich people acting stupid.
BECCA
I thought you liked JFK?
NAT
I’m not talking about JFK. I’m not talking about the ones who were assassinated. Although getting shot by a crazed gunman is kinda a rich-guy problem too, isn’t it?
HOWIE
Well, not necessarily.
NAT
It doesn’t matter, that’s not who I’m talking about. I’m talking about
the unqualified pilots. I’m talking about playing football. And skiing. At the same time!
IZZY
Rabbit Hole Page 3