“Yeah, and at least he didn’t lure me out into a cabin in the middle of nowhere and isolate me from everyone else to seduce me,” muttered Carrie. Which was nearly the truth about how Ariel and Mal got together.
“That’s not what happened!” exclaimed Mal as Ariel snickered behind her hand. Mal groaned. “We’re getting off the point. I don’t care about you and Carrie being together – well, not that much – but I care about the fact that you got her pregnant and then ignored her for eighteen months!”
Ariel winced. “He has a point there.”
“He didn’t know I was pregnant,” sighed Carrie. “And we just lost touch after we… after… uh…”
She felt her cheeks turning bright red. She couldn’t even use a euphemism for sex in front of her brother. Honestly, every option felt wrong to say! She decided to move on quickly.
“It wasn’t his fault.”
Mal huffed, not quite ready to listen to how he couldn’t blame everything on Riker. Nor was he ready to let go of the anger that had been festering over the past year for the guy who knocked up his sister and left her to fend for herself.
Carrie startled as the baby monitor strapped to her waist blazed to life, and Mikey demanded attention. She was rather glad of the interruption.
“Mal, I’m sorry you had to find out like this. I’m sorry I spent the night with a friend of yours, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth over the past year. But I never meant to hurt you, I didn’t know you knew him, and I was just too embarrassed to tell you the truth about how I got pregnant on a one-night stand.”
Riker’s eyes flashed but she continued, “I know you’re unhappy, but please go outside and enjoy your party. You just got mated to the most amazing woman in the world…”
“Aww shucks,” giggled Ariel as she wrapped her arms around Mal.
“And I want you to forget about me for tonight, and just celebrate that fact. If not for your own sake, then for Ariel’s.”
“Can’t argue with that,” said Ariel, beaming at her mate.
Mal narrowed his eyes at Riker. “Fine.”
“Come on and don’t be Mr. Grumpy-pants,” teased Ariel as she led him back to the party.
“I am not Mr. Grumpy-pants.”
“You are definitely Mr. Grumpy-pants – just like you were when I refused to wear my marching band uniform for you…”
“Carrie,” started Riker.
“I’m going to see to Mikey,” said Carrie, turning on her heel.
She knew instinctively he would follow, she didn’t have to scent him, didn’t have to feel the warmth against her back. She walked into the nursery and found Mikey grizzling unhappily.
“Okay, little man, what’s up?”
Carrie picked him up and chuckled as she found a very full diaper. “Okay, no wonder you’re so unhappy. What have you been eating? Has Uncle Mal been feeding you that carrot medley again?”
She knew Riker was watching her as she diligently changed Mikey, but she waited until she was finished to turn to him.
“Do you want to hold him?”
Riker looked a little taken aback at the suggestion, and she couldn’t deny a little disappointment. She’d had plenty of fantasies of what it would be like when she reunited with him, and she always imagined he’d be thrilled to find out he was a daddy, thrilled to find Mikey, but she wasn’t sure how pleased Riker really was.
But then, that wasn’t fair. She had only sprung Mikey on him less than an hour ago. She had been pretty stunned when she found out she was pregnant, but at least she’d had months to prepare for his arrival.
“It’s easy,” she said gently, moving toward him. She lifted Mikey into his arms, and rearranged Riker so he was holding him in a comfortable, and supporting position.
Carefully, she stepped away, cautiously watching them, almost holding her breath as Riker stiffly held his pup. Her reindeer hooted in happiness on seeing the two of them.
“He’s so tiny,” murmured Riker, frowning down at the fussy infant.
Carrie laughed ruefully. “I didn’t think so when I was giving birth, and actually, he’s a little big for his age. But then, shifters generally are big.”
Riker nodded slowly, barely moving, almost as if he was afraid to move too fast lest he disturb Mikey.
“I’ve never held a baby before,” he admitted wondrously.
“I’d never have guessed,” she teased gently, nodding at his stiffened body.
He laughed and tried to relax a little.
Carrie ran her fingers over the tufts of dark hair on Mikey’s head. “Until this one came along, I’d never held a baby before either. It was a steep learning curve I can tell you. I’m glad Mal was here to help me.”
Not to mention the bevy of older herd mates who were more than happy to point out where she was going wrong at every turn.
“Mal’s a good man.”
“You don’t have to tell me,” said Carrie fondly, “and I’m sorry that he hit you. He was just angry on my behalf – he didn’t know what happened between us. Although, you didn’t have to blurt out the truth quite so bluntly - I was hoping to break it to him gently, and to explain everything. Might have saved you a bruised jaw.”
“Maybe,” he muttered, though he didn’t seem particularly remorseful.
Without warning, Mikey started bawling his eyes out. Riker immediately paled.
“God, what did I do? Did I hurt him?”
“Of course not,” murmured Carrie as she took him back. “He’s just grouchy because he’s tired and teething. Come on.”
Carrie settled Mikey again and kissed his forehead. She rested one hand on the cot and looked at Riker.
“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”
Riker smiled slightly. “I won’t deny that.”
“Perhaps we should sleep on it – separately,” she added on seeing the flash across his face, “and talk tomorrow. Give us both time to think, and Mal time to calm down.”
“I suppose,” he agreed reluctantly. He pressed a hand to her cheek and she fluttered inside. “I will support you.”
Carrie smiled at him, forcing away the mild flash of disappointment at that statement. But again, she was expecting too much if she thought he would drop to one knee and demand she marry him so they could raise their baby together. In her dreams he had done that, but in reality, she was just a woman he barely knew, and things rarely worked out like they did in fairytales. Though, she’d yet to read the one about the princess who got knocked up and had no idea what her prince’s full name was.
“I better go. I’m staying at the Sleepy Bear Motel, room thirteen.”
“Lucky thirteen,” she breathed.
He smiled. “Mal has my number.”
Carrie nodded.
Riker leaned down and kissed her gently. It was a brief touch, too brief as he quickly moved away from her. Her eyes fluttered open as he opened the door to leave, and as she tasted him on her lips, she almost asked him to stay. Her reindeer urged her to do it.
“Riker…” The word ‘stay’ almost tumbled out but she managed to stop it. “See you tomorrow.”
He nodded and then he was gone.
She licked her lips and looked down at Mikey sadly. “Sweet dreams, little man.”
Chapter Fourteen
Riker growled as he flicked through the TV channels. It was just one mind numbing TV show after another. Shows about singing contests, and housewives, and strangers sharing a house whirred by and each one made him more irritated and impatient than the last.
His inner beast wasn’t helping. His inner beast didn’t quite understand why his female and pup were a twenty-minute drive away, and why he was sitting here in this dank motel, getting angrier and angrier with the TV. The wolf didn’t understand the complications. As far as he could see, he wanted Carrie, and Carrie already had his pup – so why wasn’t he with them?
But Riker wasn’t sure he could just stomp in there and tell that to her. Wasn’t sure Mal wouldn’t try to pulverize
him if he did. He wasn’t sure he would make any kind of dad to a baby.
Riker growled at the TV, turned it off, and tossed the remote away. He lay down in bed and willed sleep to find him. But it wasn’t to be.
He couldn’t stop thinking about Carrie, about Mikey. It had been a long time since he’d had a family, a long time since he’d thought about having a family.
But he had spent the last eighteen months trying to find Carrie – hoping to find her. What had he expected to happen once he did? Honestly, he hadn’t thought past actually getting hold of her. Well, he had, but that had only involved a bed and a lot of pent up frustration. He should have thought about what would happen after that. He should have known she wanted a mating and children – well, she already had a child – his child. But what kind of a father would he be?
The last memory he had of his family was trying to beat his step-dad to a pulp and then running away to join the hunters. Then, all he’d lived for was the hunt. It was the same for most hunters – a crappy home life leading to violence and anger and a need to take it out on other shifters who thoroughly deserved it.
He’d done a lot of things others would consider bad. Killed a lot of people, more than he would care to admit to even Mal who could understand it. But could he admit everything he had done to Carrie – would she understand? She adored her brother, but Mal had only ever been a hunter. He’d only been given assignments where the council wanted the shifter alive and dead only if absolutely unavoidable. But there were those other assignments where dead or alive didn’t come into it. For those assignments, where the council didn’t even want to waste time with a trial or prison, it was dead with no other option. If Mal hadn’t gotten out when he did, he probably would have been destined for those assignments too.
After everything he’d done, could he move to the suburbs and play happy families with Carrie and Mikey? Would they even want him if they knew the truth? He knew he wanted Carrie and Mikey – knew it deep inside where the howling wolf lived – because they were his. But was he any good for them?
His phone chirruped, and he fumbled trying to grab it, hoping it would be Carrie, or at least Mal, though Carrie was definitely his preference.
His inner wolf snarled. It was Lucas - just what he needed.
Riker considered not answering, but Lucas would just keep ringing until he got hold of him. Lucas couldn’t fathom for one moment that anyone could be too busy to take his call, so he just rang, rang, rang and rang until he got hold of the person he wanted to speak to. Lucas was the cause of much interrupted sleep among the hunters.
“Yeah?” growled Riker into the phone.
“Where are you right now?”
“Sitting on my motel bed,” replied Riker irritably.
What was next? Did he want to know what he was wearing?
“That’s not what I meant,” seethed Lucas. He was getting very good at seething.
There was silence as Lucas waited for Riker to answer, but he didn’t.
Finally, Lucas growled, “When are you coming in? I have a hunt for you. A bear from a clan up north has attacked a human, openly showing his bear – you need to go hunt him and bring him to the council for punishment.”
Riker hesitated. A week ago he would have been all over that. A week ago his wolf would have been frothing at the bit to get up there and show that bear what’s what. But that was a week ago. Now, he had a pup, and also, a mate - though he wasn’t sure she would call herself that, but given that they had a pup together, obviously he wasn’t going to let her go. His wolf growled. Okay, yeah, even before he knew about the pup he hadn’t been intending on letting her go.
“I can’t.”
“Of course you can,” dismissed Lucas. “You’ve hunted plenty of bears; you’ll be fine.”
Riker grunted and rolled his eyes. He wasn’t really angling for a pep talk – and that was crappy at best. He knew he could hunt that bear no problem.
“I can’t. I’ve got… family stuff.”
“Family stuff?!” spluttered Lucas.
“Yeah. I’m going to take at least a few weeks off.”
“A few weeks off?!”
“Yeah. I’ll be in touch.”
“You’ll be in…”
Riker hung up. Since Lucas was just repeating everything he was saying anyway, obviously he got the gist. He switched off his work phone and stowed it in his weapons case. He didn’t want Lucas ruining anything with annoying phone calls. He wanted a little peace while he tried to come to terms with his new family.
His wolf chuffed in approval.
For the first time in nearly thirty years, the urge to hunt wasn’t the strongest feeling inside him. No, the urge to care for his family had beat it to the post, and that was just a little nerve-wracking. When he was hunting the worst that could happen to him was death or injury – that was easy to deal with. But when it came to his family, there was the potential for heartbreak on either side, and that was absolutely terrifying.
*
“Oh, hey.”
Carrie paused at the entrance to the kitchen and looked awkwardly at her brother.
It was gone midnight but Mal was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a beer and snacking on the leftover party food.
“You’re up late,” he rumbled, giving her a blank look.
“Couldn’t sleep,” she admitted as she pulled at the hem of her pajama top.
She went to bed hours ago, but hadn’t slept a wink since – too nervous about seeing Riker again.
“What about you?” she asked.
“Just finishing clearing up. Wanted to save Ariel the trouble in the morning. She’s already asleep.”
“It was a nice party,” said Carrie as she poured herself a glass of milk.
“The parts where people weren’t getting punched,” he retorted wryly.
“Well, at least you weren’t the only one.”
No, a couple of fights had broken out among the younger members of the herd, making Mal’s outburst seem quite tame in comparison.
Carrie slipped into the chair opposite him and tapped her fingers on the glass. “You really didn’t have to do that.”
Mal eyed her without remorse. “I really did.”
“I thought you liked Riker.”
He huffed. “I do. Not so much what he did to you.”
“It wasn’t on purpose,” she said defensively.
Okay, so a week ago she was torn between hating him and dearly wishing he would turn up, but now that she knew he didn’t intentionally stay away, she was firmly swinging toward the relieved to see him camp.
Mal sighed and rested his elbows on the table. He gave her a strange, almost proud look. “I’ve looked out for you since you were born, it just pisses me off that I couldn’t stop you from going through this alone.”
“I don’t regret it,” Carrie said immediately.
Despite the feelings of loneliness and anger that shifted and swirled within her over the past year and a half, how could she regret it? Even if Riker had never come back into her life, she wouldn’t have regretted it. She loved Mikey – he was everything to her.
“Besides,” she softened, “I wasn’t alone, I had you, and now I have Ariel too.”
Mal smiled warmly, much more like the big brother she adored. “Yeah, and we’re not going anywhere – no matter what happens with Riker, we’re your family.”
Carrie felt a flush of happiness until she realized what he said. Her beast bristled. “What do you mean? What do you think is going to happen with Riker?”
Mal rolled his shoulders. “I’m sure he’ll do the right thing – I’m sure he’ll support you.”
She almost flinched as his words echoed Riker’s from earlier. Carrie looked down at the table. “You mean financially.”
“Yes.”
Carrie looked up and met his eyes. “But you don’t think…”
He didn’t think Riker was about to roll up with a wedding ring and decide he wanted to play hous
e.
“Maybe I’m wrong, but I can’t see Riker leaving the hunters. He’s been with them for over twenty-five years. Not many hunters leave willingly – they get pushed out for one reason or another or they get killed.”
Carrie jutted her chin. “You chose to leave.”
Mal gave her a long look and breathed out slowly. “I joined the hunters because of how angry I was at our parents – because I wanted to hurt guys like dad.”
“I suppose it was better than starting a fight club,” she muttered.
“But I’m past that. Since I got together with Ariel, I don’t feel so angry, and being the head of the herd enforcers is all I need. But do you think Riker’s going to stop, grab a pair of slippers and be okay?”
“He might feel the same way you did…” she argued weakly, her argument weak because she had no idea about any of his thoughts and feelings.
“Did he tell you about why he joined the hunters?” demanded Mal.
“We didn’t really talk that much.”
Carrie blushed ferociously and Mal coughed, not wanting to delve in that direction too far.
“Why did he join the hunters? Is the reason important?”
Mal flashed with guilt. “It’s not really my place to say.”
“But you just brought it up.”
“And he told me in confidence – I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget I did.”
Forget? Hardly likely. Now her mind would leap in all directions imagining what was going on – running away from a Norman Bates type setup with his mother? Fleeing an arranged marriage? On the run for tax evasion?
“And, I’m not really sure you being with him is safe.”
“Safe?” she murmured, leaning toward the Norman Bates scenario.
“He’s been a hunter for nearly three decades,” he grumbled, tapping his finger on the kitchen table. “Most burn out or get killed before one decade, and no other has made it at as long as he has. You don’t wanna know how many shifters he has put away or killed. The guy gets more death threats than all the other hunters combined – seriously, every year we had a competition to see how many death threats we each got, and he beat us all hands down.”
“A death threat competition?” she repeated in disbelief.
The Reindeer's New Year Love (Reindeer Holidays Book 7) Page 9