by Scott, S. L.
“It’s not.”
“I know. Now, I know.”
“My dad and mom started that company thirty years ago. They put everything into it. I can’t believe they were selling it when it was still so successful.”
“I only got some of the information, but your parents wanted to retire. We wanted a place with a good reputation to help with our presence in the city. It was a good match and an easy deal to close because both sides were eager.”
She turns her back to me as she stares into the minimal landscaping outlining the side of the hospital. Crossing her arms over her chest, she asks, “Why wouldn’t they tell me?”
“I don’t know, Natalie.”
She peeks at me from over her shoulder. “I don’t know what to believe or who to listen to. All I know is that my father could have died tonight, and from the sounds of it, you’re partially responsible.”
“I—”
“No.” A wall is built, her hands standing guard to keep me from reaching her. “This is too much to digest. I think it’s best if you leave, Nick. I’m going inside to be with my family.” She doesn’t kiss me, and there are no warm embraces. When she walks away, I’m left in the cool fall air with nothing but the memory of her looking at me like I’m the enemy.
“I didn’t know.” But these people broke that agreement when they threatened to dissolve the assets of your company. When I met with Dad earlier, yes, he was fighting for the best deal, but surely, he wouldn’t be underhanded and screw them over. He said he’d keep that business, her business, if he was forced to. Did he lie to me? What am I missing?
She stops with her back to me. There are no ocean blue eyes to swim in or even a small smile to indulge my ego. She gives me nothing before the sliding glass doors open and then engulfs her.
I watch her through the glass, her family opening their arms and taking in one of their own.
But she’s become my family as well, but now, I don’t know where we stand with each other, other than with glass doors between us.
We may not have had a long relationship, but I knew the minute I saw her on that New York street that I wouldn’t let what happened in Catalina repeat itself. And I didn’t. Until now, when I have to let her be and hope she comes back to me.
Sitting outside the hospital, I don’t dare go inside. Natalie needs this time with her family, and I’ll respect that. But after three hours of waiting on this bench with the chill of October setting in, I’m starting to fear that Mr. St. James is not out of the woods.
She might have told me to leave, but no way am I going anywhere. I can only hope that she knows I’m here if she needs me.
After speaking with Jackson, he seemed to understand and believed me. I hate that my entire future hinges on whether he can be a voice of reason for Natalie.
Just before midnight, I hear the doors slide open and see Natalie coming my way. I stand away from the bright lights of the hospital, hoping to find privacy from other people here for the hospital.
She says, “It’s dark.”
“Yeah, shortly after we arrived.”
She shoves her hands in her pockets and then finally gives me the view of her deep blues. “You should go home, Nick.”
My heart sinks, my hope of speaking to her tonight falling with it. “Can we talk?”
“No. Not tonight. I don’t have enough energy to spare on . . .” She angles away from me as if the sight of me is too much. She sniffles but swipes at her cheeks before peering up at me again. “I don’t know what to believe, Nick, but there’s no reason for you to stay.”
“You’re my reason for staying, Natalie.”
She crosses her arms over her chest, keeping an impartial face. “That’s not good enough anymore.”
Staring at her, I lose my words in the sliver delivered to my heart. “Love is enough.”
“Not our kind.”
“What kind of love are we?”
“The hopeless kind, star-crossed and tragic.” I hate how definitive she makes it sound.
“I didn’t know it was your family. I swear to God.”
“You knew!” Rage roars through her. She slams her fists against my chest. “You knew, and you used me. You lied to me about everything.” I’m hit again, but this time, she pushes so hard that she ends up stumbling backward. “And for what? A better deal? Well, that didn’t happen, so move on without me.”
When I reach out to catch her, she smacks my hand. “Don’t you touch me. Not ever again.” The anger in her eyes freezes me to the spot, and she screams, “That’s why you wanted to marry me, isn’t it? Isn’t it?” Disgust reaches her eyes before I can answer and she adds, “You knew I’d leave you, so you thought you’d play that card. You must be pretty damn proud of yourself for tricking me.”
“It wasn’t a trick. There were no tricks or lies despite what your mom has been telling you.”
Shock rips through her expression. “Are you calling my mom a liar?”
“No, I’m not, but this isn’t black and white. She’s in the gray area of understanding this situation like I am. I didn’t know about your company. I had no idea that your family owned Manhattan Financial. I swear I didn’t fucking know.”
“I’m going to lose my company, Nick. How the hell could you not have known? You met with my parents. You heard me talk about STJ more than once since we found each other in New York. With the damage already done, where did you really think that would leave us?”
I move in as close as she’ll let me, which isn’t close enough for my liking. “We’re still in love. We still have each other to rely on. We are still us. Don’t let the lies win, because I don’t think what you’ve heard is correct. My father doesn’t do business like that. He’s—.”
“Enough.” She covers her forehead with her hand, and says, “I’m such an idiot for trusting a guy.” Agitation sets in as she stares at me like she never knew me at all. “I wish I would have kept walking.”
I reach out to touch her, but she moves away from my hand. “Then you’d be on a date with Chad—”
“At least Chad didn’t lie to me.”
“Neither did I, Natalie. I know there’s a lot going on. You should spend time with your dad and not think about anything else. We can talk when you’re rational.”
“Rational?” she scoffs, planting her hands on her hips. “Wow, Nick. You know what? I’ll never be rational enough to believe the lies you’ve been feeding me. My eyes have been opened to your deceptive practices.” She walks backward. “Take Manhattan Financial and STJ Co. It’s yours to do as you please just like you wanted all along, but if you care about me at all, then leave me alone.” She turns her back on me and storms toward the hospital.
“I’ll go to a hotel—”
Turning around, she calls back, “I don’t mean just for the night, Nick. I mean forever. There’s no way I can be with someone like you.”
“Like me? What does that mean?”
“Someone who cares more about business than people.”
I hate that I’m defending business decisions I didn’t make. “Your father—”
Whipping around, she points at me. “My father is fighting for his life because he was fighting for me. Against you!” Although plenty of sidewalk stretches between us, I feel the jolt of her words.
Before the doors open for her, I say, “Natalie, I haven’t lied to you. I won’t lie to you. I’ll leave the hospital now, but please let me find out the truth and then sort this out. I love you.” Forever.
This can’t be it.
We can’t be over.
She never breaks her stride, and I’m left with the remains of what could have been. I’m left dumbfounded with no clear answers to how this turned so quickly into the destruction of us.
I feel as blindsided as she does. My dad is an unscrupulous businessman, but would he so deliberately deceive a business owner in a deal? Is that how he does business? There’s no getting around my role in this mess, and my intentions don’t matte
r. I can be mad all I want or place the blame elsewhere, but the bottom line is that I’m an attorney. My job literally requires me to read contracts. I was so busy worrying about the threat of having to move to Seattle that I lost sight of what was happening in LA and New York. How could I have let something this important slip through the cracks?
And now, the woman I love is in the hospital by her father’s bedside, with not only fear for her father, but the reality that her pride and joy was insolvent as of five o’clock. Will be, thanks to my signature.
Fuck.
I leave like she wants me to, rounding the block to find a taxi waiting. With my hand on the door handle, I debate if I should go or barge in and let her know that I’m here for her. I open the door and get in because I know the truth. She doesn’t want me anywhere near her at this time. I head to the hotel, getting an odd look from the desk clerk. Especially when I don’t have any luggage. Well, I don’t feel like I have anything at the moment, so this is fucking fitting.
Once in the room, I start the shower with Natalie’s words still rattling around my brain. I’ll respect her wishes tonight—she’s exhausted, so I’ll chalk it up to that—but tomorrow, I hope she’ll see me, and we can talk calmly. God, I hope her father pulls through. He has to make it.
And so do we.
As I’m learning, a life without Natalie is no life to lead. Surely, once she knows the truth and we get her company back on track with new funding, we’ll be okay.
29
Natalie
Five days.
That’s how long Nick sat outside the hospital.
I never saw him leave or take a break, eat, or talk on the phone. No. Every time I walked by, I stuck to the sides of the corridor or peeked out a window to find him still there as if I hadn’t told him to leave.
Why?
Why does he stay?
If I left to shower and change my clothes, or even get fresh air, I used a different exit, not ready to face him. Five days of listening to how not only my dad had to fight for my loan but feeling foolish for falling for someone so calculating has me avoiding another conversation with Nick altogether.
My heart hasn’t gotten the memo.
I miss him and hate myself for being a traitor to my family. But there’s no longer an us in this equation. It’s him, and then there’s me. There’s just no other way around it.
Freshly showered and in clean clothes, I’m glad to have the stale hospital off me. I park my suitcase at the door and then retrieve my laptop bag and purse. None of it’s been unpacked from California. Cookie shipped it as promised, and it arrived safely the next day.
“How long do you think you’ll be gone?” Tatum asks, snuggled on the couch. Her face is clear of the face paint she wore dressed as a cat for Halloween last night, and I can see how tired she is by her bloodshot eyes. It’s the first Halloween we haven’t spent together partying since we’ve known each other. I gave that up the tradition to be in California, to be with Nick. Instead, I spent it in the hospital eating bite-sized Snickers at the nurses’ station every time I left my dad’s room.
I haven’t been on a run since the morning I snuck out of bed in LA, so not only are my emotions tattered but I also feel like crap. I sit next to her. “I don’t know. At this point, we might be in the Hamptons through Thanksgiving.”
“Should I ask about work?”
I rub my eyes, so tired from staying at the hospital and getting so little sleep. “I need to figure some stuff out. Just keep doing what you’re doing.” I grin over at her sipping her hot chocolate. “Workwise, I mean. I’ll be working remotely for the time being unless I have to be in the city for anything. I’m not going to fail my clients, even if I have to work for free.”
“I was practically working for free already.” Grabbing a pillow, I pop her with it. “Whoa!” She starts laughing. “You almost made me spill my cocoa.”
The laughter dies off, and we’re left with the silence again. I know what’s coming, but I can’t help but feel like I’m not ready to face it. I won’t hide, though. Not from her. She’s always had my back . . . unless a hot guy’s involved like Harrison in Catalina. God, why does everything have to come back to Nick?
Oh, screw it. Might as well get it over with. “Go ahead.” I curl around a big pillow. “Ask away. I know you’re dying to anyway.”
She blows across the top of the hot drink to cool it, and then whispers, “What are you going to do about Nick?”
I’ve been dreading this conversation, but I’ve held it in for too many days. I couldn’t talk to my mom, and Jackson won’t understand. Taking a deep breath, I exhale, and say, “I think it’s best if Nick and I go our separate ways and never see each other again.”
“That’s drastic for someone you were in love with six days ago. Was that love real?” Her tone is gentle, cautious, but caring.
I nod because I can lie to the world about it. I can lie to Nick and say I never felt love soul deep like I did for him. I can lie all I want to everyone else, but that won’t change the fact that I can’t lie to myself. I loved him with my entire being. I love him even now. And I hate myself for it.
“Then why won’t you talk to him?” There’s no accusation or judgment in her tone, just compassion.
“My heart is so broken, like me.”
“Your heart can be healed by a man who loves you so much that he’s waited outside a hospital for almost a week for you without complaint. Why are you doing this? You’re not just hurting him. You’re hurting yourself.”
“I’m trapped.” I fall back into the nook of the couch and bring my knees to my chest. Rolling my head to the side, I see a crease created from concern between her brows. “My family feels betrayed by the man I’m in love with. How do I get around this? If I choose him, I hurt them. I choose my family, which I have to, I lose him. It’s a no-win situation, so me dragging out a relationship with Nick won’t do either of us any good.”
She sits up and sets her mug on the coffee table. “It’s not an either-or situation. It’s hearing both sides at a minimum and then deciding what’s best for you.”
“You make this sound easy when it’s not. I won’t waste another minute on a man hell-bent on controlling my life. If the contract stands as is, I’ll be answering to his family.” I squeeze my eyes closed, wishing I wasn’t in this mess. “Anyway, you know better than anyone the problem Dane had with my company and how hard we fought over it.”
“That’s because he had small-dick syndrome.” Her jaw tightens as she grits her teeth. “He couldn’t bear for a woman to be more successful than him.”
“I wasn’t even making money then. It was just the thought of me becoming successful that enraged him.” I stand and start pacing, unable to sit still any longer. “Imagine the horror—a woman is more successful than a man. Sound the alarms.” I’m full of restless energy that I wish I could get out of my system, run away until I’m carefree again. But I know that’s not possible. I could run a thousand miles, but Nick’s not going to be forgotten that easily. Or at all.
Looking out the window, I say, “First snow is coming.”
“It’s already late.” She comes to lean against the window where I’ve perched myself on the sill.
I check my watch. “And so am I. I need to get back before he’s released.”
“Everyone’s off to the Hamptons then?”
“Yes. My dad will have a private nurse check on him, and his doctor is out there for the holidays.”
“I’m glad he’s doing well.”
I can’t help but smile. “Me too. My dad has made a lot of improvement over the past few days. They approved his release because they’re happy with his blood pressure and other vitals. He’s getting up a few minutes each day. His pain is being managed, so he’s been in good spirits. He’ll get to relax in the comfort and peace of the off-season at the Hamptons house.”
Moving back to the door, I wrap my purse around my shoulder and the strap of the laptop bag arou
nd my body. Taking the suitcase handle, I open the door with the other hand. I’m not rushing or running. I’m hesitant to leave, worried I’m forgetting something or maybe that things will change without me around, because I already feel a change happening inside me.
“It will be good to spend time out of the hospital with my family again. We have our monthly dinners, but those are formal events. The downtime will be good.”
“I know you’ll be working, but think about taking some time for yourself as well. I can handle anything extra that needs to be done.” She holds the door wide open, so I move into the hallway. Resting her cheek against the wood, she asks, “Will you promise me something?”
“Depends.”
That causes her to smile. “If you happen to run into him, give him five minutes. It might be eye-opening.” She doesn’t have to explain the him she’s talking about.
“Or heart ending.”
“At least you’ll be able to move on knowing the truth, and isn’t that closure worth the effort?”
In all the months Nick and I have known each other, we only dated a few weeks. I tsk, embarrassed to admit that to myself. How did I expect something so frivolous to last? “Or pain.”
She scoffs and then takes me by my upper arms, giving me a small shake. “Stop this. You don’t have to argue every little thing. The worst may happen or the best, or maybe the worst has already happened, and it will only get better from here. You have fifty scenarios swimming around in that pretty head. Instead of guessing how it will play out, take the lead and put it to bed.” She squishes my cheeks together. “Or go to bed with him.”
“Are those my only options?” I ask, talking through fish lips.