by Sammi Cee
Chuck has made us coming back into each other’s lives painless. He’s not once begrudged me the year of our friendship that I sacrificed for a man, and then for the drugs. And he knows me better than anyone, probably better than I know myself, so he knows I made excuses to myself to stay with Phillip once the habit formed. Once I was in therapy and clean, I knew how terribly Phillip treated me right from the beginning. And eventually I acknowledged in group that if it hadn’t been for the dependency on him for my drugs, I would’ve left him much sooner. “Okay, C. You’re right.” Shaking my head for a minute, I cast my gaze down to my feet. “I know you’re right. I even thought that when I first met him and noticed how hot he is that I’m not in a place yet to even think about… whatever.”
“Hey.” Turning my head back up to meet his eyes, Chuck gives me a small smile. “You’re my best friend and the best guy I know. I’m not saying you’re not good enough to date or anything. I’m only asking you to be careful. If someone you’re attracted to asks you out, and they’re a nice guy with a good job, then go. Don’t deny yourself a good, healthy relationship. Just don’t jump in bed with someone because you think they’ll be a hot lay, that’s all.”
“Okay.” We grin at each other in solidarity before getting back to work.
A little while later Chuck says, “Not to make it sound like I’m psycho and can’t make up my mind, I do want to mention one thing, though.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“Vaughn never dressed this nice last summer. In fact, I can’t think of one time I saw him and his shirt didn’t have a hole in it. It seems like he’s making as much of an effort to dress nice, or as nice as you can dress for this kind of work, as you are. I just wanted you to know that.”
I don’t respond, but I feel a little thrill as I duck my head to hide a smile. I’ve been trying to figure out how I’m going to afford my clothing budget for this job if I keep wearing all my nicest t-shirts to work and ruining them. It’s nice to think that maybe I’m not alone.
The next couple weeks continue much the same way. Vaughn still seems to be mindful of his appearance and I know I am. As the job continues, we get more comfortable in each other’s presence and he comes around more and more. Not that we could actually avoid one another since I work for him, but it’s nice that he comes to tell me stuff himself instead of sending someone else. Today has been particularly brutal with temperature rising earlier in the day. Most of the guys shed their shirts at lunchtime, and I grasp the bottom of my own when I feel eyes boring into me. It doesn’t surprise me when I look around to find Vaughn staring at me intently. Feeling flustered by his scrutiny, unsure whether it would be an issue with him if I took my shirt off or not, I let it go and settle back to eat my sandwich, internally snorting at myself for even questioning myself because of him.
After finishing my lunch, I run over to the hose we have on the side of the building we’re working on and run it over my head. The water is nice and cool on my head and brings my core temperature down enough to actually feel chilly. A tremor works through my upper body and I shiver, shaking my head to get the water off, I stand back up to be find Vaughn standing in front of me. “Did the water cool you off any?” he asks.
“Uh, yeah. It felt great actually.” I flash a quick smile, but uncertainty clouds my mind, and I begin looking around to not meet Vaughn’s searching eyes. Chuck’s right, I need to be careful. It’s not that I know if Vaughn came over here for any ulterior motives, but at the same time, the guy’s hot and I haven’t had sex in months. As funny and flamboyant in his actions as Chuck can be, he’s never slept around. I was always the one who tended toward sex before seeing if there was a possibility for a real relationship.
Vaughn discreetly clears his throat. “Yeah, so, I have an idea.”
“For the building?” I ask quickly.
“No, for my clothes.” My eyes jump to his before he says, “I’m about out of my nice t-shirts, also, I’m almost out of shirts I haven’t worn to work, yet. Um, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable at all, so if it’s no, that’s cool.”
He doesn’t say anything else for a solid minute before I realize he’s done. “If what’s no?” I ask, confused but maybe hopeful that he’s asking me out.
“Oh, yeah, that would help.” He clears his throat again. “Julian, I know you have a lot on your plate right now, but would you like to go to dinner with me so that I can quit trying to impress you by dressing up for work every day?”
Trying to process through everything Chuck said recently, plus how attracted I am to Vaughn, and then there’s the adorably uncertain way he’s looking at me which is extremely appealing on such a usually take-charge guy, movement around the side of his body catches my attention. Cutting my eyes over, I see both Chuck and Jack nodding away at me, and I realize they heard Vaughn ask me out. Jack used to talk about his little brother all the time and how much he missed him. Chuck is the brother I never had. My lips begin to tilt upward, but I break into a full smile when Vaughn follows where my eyes went and turns slightly to see them both nodding like fools. “Oh Lord.” He turns back toward me with a frown while rolling his eyes.
“I’d love to.”
We both smile like idiots when Chuck and Jack both let out a very enthusiastic, “Yes!”
“Okay, great. How about you stop by the trailer before you head out after work, and we’ll set something up?”
“Sounds good.” I go for nonchalant, but I’m pretty sure how quickly I respond betrays my excitement.
He winks at me before turning and yelling at his brother as he walks away, “Get over here, Jack. What’re you doing on my site following me around and eavesdropping?”
As Jack goes to join him, Chuck bounds over to me like he’s a puppy, and I’m waving a strip of bacon at him. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. You have a date with Vaughn. I’m so excited. Are you excited? What am I saying? Of course you are. This is so exciting.”
Slightly confused, I hold up my hand. “Wait. But I thought you didn’t want me to go out with Vaughn?”
“Oh no.” He shakes his head harder than I did when I was trying to get the water out of my hair. “I’m thrilled about you going on a date with Vaughn. But with all the sexual tension flowing between you two with all the not very discreet, smoldering glances between you two, I didn’t want you to do anything stupid.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I’m not sure what he’s talking about, so I don’t know whether to be offended or not.
“Julian, I may have left the bar the night we graduated, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t hear about the face fuck you took that night in front of everyone.”
My stomach drops and I feel like I’m going to throw up. “You heard about that?”
“You made yourself a legend that night, my friend.” Taking in my shattered expression, he clasps a hand on each of my shoulders. “That’s the past and Phillip’s a jerk. But Vaughn asked you on a date. He wants to do things the right way. That’s all I want for you. What’s more, it’s what you deserve. Now what are you going to wear?”
And just like that, another shackle from my messed up past falls off me.
Chapter Seven
Vaughn
* * *
The anxiety as I pull up to Julian’s house is out of control. I don’t think I was this nervous the first time I took Bailey out on a date, and he was my first serious relationship in high school. A part of me wants to believe that it’s because he’s an employee, but after listening to my brother tease me about the worst date request ever (and what were the chances of him being there to overhear that) I know the truth. This feels important. Julian is special.
Exiting the truck, I look for the side gate that Julian told me to come in through to be able to reach his downstairs apartment. I’m thankful he told me because I’m nervous enough without meeting his parents. The minute the thought goes through my mind, the front door of the main house opens to reveal an older version of Julian s
tanding in the doorway. “Hello. Are you here for Julian?”
“Yes, sir,” I say as I walk toward the front door with my right hand outstretched.
“I don’t suppose that’s caramel?” he asks pointing at the drink in my left hand after our handshake. Over the last couple of weeks, I’d noticed that Julian likes caramel mocha frappes, and it was a brutally hot day, so I’d picked one up for him on the way over.
“Yes, sir.”
“Based on the family resemblance, am I right in assuming that you’re Jack’s little brother?”
It’s becoming harder not to fidget as Julian’s dad questions me. It’s not only the fact that I haven’t dated anyone in years who lived with their parents to have to be questioned, I’ve literally not dated at all. “Yes, sir. I am.”
A woman I’m assuming is Mrs. Blake walks up to stand next to her husband, and he slips an arm around her waist. She beams at me. “You must be Vaughn. Your brother’s always talked so highly of you.” I smile politely even as that familiar niggle of guilt hits me for wasting time and deserting my family.
Julian’s voice startles me as he comes up from my side, obviously having walked around on the outside of the house from his personal entrance. “Mom, Dad, what are you doing? Why are you interrogating my date?” Then turning to me, he asks, “Why did you go to their door?”
“He didn’t,” Mr. Blake says. “I called him over as soon as he hit the yard.”
Julian narrows his eyes, searching first his father, and then his mother’s face. “Why?”
“Julian,” Mrs. Blake says firmly. “No one is suspecting you of doing anything wrong. When Chuck dropped you off yesterday, I waved him down to come in and say hi, and he spilled the beans about your date and how excited he is. We know what a good family Vaughn comes from, and his reputation for being a good man proceeds him.”
“In other words, don’t get all whacked out,” Mr. Blake says.
My eyebrows rise up on my forehead as my and Julian’s eyes connect. “Um, Dad…”
“No? No good? Wrong context? What?”
His mom looks at her husband and rolls her eyes before turning back to me. “It was nice to meet you, Vaughn. Oh, dear. Technically we didn’t introduce ourselves, did we? I’m Julian’s mom, Rachel, and this hip old guy is his dad, Gary.”
Since I already shook Gary’s hand, I reach out and shake Rachel’s before turning to hand Julian his drink. I’m not sure whose face softens the most by the simple gesture—Julian’s or his mom. Nodding at his parents, I say, “It was nice to meet you both.”
“Yes, it was. Hopefully we’ll get a chance to know each other next time you come around,” Rachel says.
As I follow Julian toward the back of the house, I hear his dad behind us talking to his wife. “Maybe you should’ve invited him to dinner one night.” Julian picks up his pace, and I chuckle while rushing to keep up with him.
Since I know my brother did the remodel on this place ten years ago, it doesn’t surprise me how nice it is, but I’m shocked when I walk through the door that it still looks like a brand-new space. “Have your parents had more work done on this place?”
Julian flashes me a grin as he’s tucking his wallet into his back pocket and grabbing his phone. “It looks like it, right?” I nod. “Nope, my mom just keeps it really nice down here. She didn’t want to rent it out just for the money; she wanted to give people down on their luck an opportunity to get ahead while living in a nice environment. She’s good like that.” He pauses while I spin around in a circle checking out the place. The paint is a soothing cream with white chair rail all the way around on the walls. To one side is an open kitchen from the living room, and the other side of the room has two rooms. I assume one is a bedroom and the other the bathroom. When my eyes hit the dark brown couch with a multi-colored quilt laying over the back, Julian explains, “The place comes furnished and Mom makes sure to have homey touches, like that quilt, everywhere. She tells renters they’re welcome to tell her to take anything they don’t need back upstairs, but people usually leave it just the way Mom sets it up.”
“I’m sure. It’s a really comfortable space down here. I’m surprised anyone ever leaves.”
Julian chuckles. “They probably wouldn’t, but that’s my mom’s main request when people move in. After they get on their feet and save up some money, she likes them to move on so she can invite someone else to rent the place who needs it.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline again. “And that works out? People just leave?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs his shoulders with his hand not holding his frappe out to the side. “Mom makes everyone who lives down here feel like family, so they honor her request. But even when they move out, we still see them. You get an extended family after you’ve lived in my mom’s basement. It’s kinda how it works whether you’re looking for more family or not.”
Julian’s eyes bounce around when I turn to him. There’s no question he’s as nervous and unsure what to do as I am. “How’s your frappe?”
He immediately relaxes as his eyes meet mine. “It’s good. That was nice of you. Thank you.”
“You ready to go?”
“Um, sure. Where are we going though?”
“Since it was a long, hot day, and we’re working again early tomorrow, I made reservations at a steakhouse for dinner tonight so we can talk and get to know each other better. Is that good?” I’d been nervous making dinner reservations, scared that Julian would think it’s lame after a fast-paced life of living with a drug dealer, but the smile that stretches quickly across his face lets me know I did exactly the right thing.
“It’s perfect. I’m ready, then.”
“After you.” Julian smiles at me a little hesitantly, but walks toward the door so we can leave. My eyes quickly run down the length of his body, and I’m amazed such a handsome, young man wants to go out with me. I know I’m not old or anything, but he’s young and must be able to find young, fun guys to date instead of a set in his ways kind of guy like me.
By the time I’ve shaken off my depressing train of thought, Julian’s locked up his place and we’re almost to the car. I dash ahead of him a few steps so I can open the passenger side door of the truck for him. He’s almost as tall as me, and at least six foot, so I know he doesn’t need a hand, but I offer him one anyway as he climbs up into his seat. I’m not sure if it’s dumb or not, but I know Bailey loved when I did little things for him, of course, he was a tiny guy so maybe—the radiant smile Julian gives me as I shut his door reassures me. We’re both exactly where we want to be, and my natural inclinations to treat him with kindness and respect are spot on. Feeling more confident about myself, and our date in general, I round the truck with higher expectations than I’ve felt all day.
Once we’ve walked in and are seated at a table in the restaurant and the server’s taken our drink order for water for both of us, I lean back in my chair. “I probably should’ve told you already, but you look really nice tonight.”
Julian reminds me of his best friend when he giggles. “Did you notice we’re dressed almost identical?”
Since I did notice that we’re both wearing stonewash straight leg jeans, loafers, and short-sleeve button-up shirts, except his is green bringing out the amazing color of his eyes, and I went with a blue and red checkered, I chuckle along with him. “I did notice that, actually.”
“Great minds, right?” His eyes crinkle at the corners when he giggles again.
“Tell me about Julian.”
The smile fades from his face, and his eyes cloud over. “I’m not sure what to say. I feel like I kinda lost myself there for a while, and I’m trying to find myself again.”
Nodding at him encouragingly, I say, “That’ll happen a million different times in your life. Don’t think that living hard for a year is why you feel that way. Believe me, I feel like I’m continuously starting a new chapter in my life.”
“Really?” He narrows his eyes skeptically, but in their de
pths, I see the clouds part just a bit as he waits for my answer.
“Of course. Think about it, what did you want to be when you grew up when you were five?”
“A dog,” he says without hesitation.
“A dog?”
“Yeah, I had two older sisters who made sure I followed all of my mom’s rules. Especially the no snacking between meals unless Mom gave it to me. But we had a dog, and my sisters slipped him treats all the time, and he never had to pick up after himself. It seemed like the perfect life to me.”
“Huh, that sounds logical.” Julian nods at me triumphantly. Shaking my head a tad, I feel my heart beginning the descent from charmed down the slippery slope to infatuated. “Okay, what did you want to be when you were ten?”
“A superhero, of course.” He grins mischievously. “You want to know why?”
“I don’t know. Do I? Is this where we find out we don’t agree whether it’s Marvel or DC that’s the best?”
“Nope. I have no preference. A superhero’s a superhero to me.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. Why did you want to be a superhero?”
“That’s the year Sky High came out, and I loved the idea that teenagers were coming into their powers to do awesome things. I used to lay in bed at night and wonder what power I’d want if it was real.”