An Act of Hodd

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An Act of Hodd Page 15

by Nic Saint


  He looked up in surprise. “News? What news?”

  “Oh, for Christ’s sakes!” the chief exclaimed. “What am I? Dear Abby? You love her and she loves you, is that so hard to understand? Now take her in your arms and kiss her already, you fool! Love really is wasted on the young!”

  But then Tabitha’s face fell. “Oh, but it is not possible, Mr. Scattering. My realm is succumbing to decay. Soon there will be nothing left here but arid land and the dust of withered bones. I can’t ask you to sacrifice yourself for… for me,” she added almost in a whisper, and those tears were back now.

  Virgil, going down on one knee again, as if he were one of Pavlov’s dogs and the great scientist had just rung the bell to announce it was time for supper, croaked, “I don’t care, your highness. I don’t care one bit. I will support you and your family. I have a nice salary—though it could always be better, of course,” he added with a hopeful glance at Chief Whitehouse, “and I’m sure my mother will be most happy to accommodate all of you. How many brothers and sisters do you have?” he finished, already making calculations in his head to see if he needed to put in an extra bathroom.

  “It is most kind of you,” said the princess, the humor in the situation making her eyes shine and her voice sound like the slightest of bells and enchanting Virgil even more. “But I’m sure my family would never agree to be supported by… my husband,” she added, and when her eyes met Virgil’s there was a stream of energy that transferred between them that had both young people blush and their lips turn up into slightly stupid grins.

  “Oh, for crying out loud,” grumbled the chief. “Get a room, will you?”

  His harshly spoken words did not break the spell, but what happened next did. A sudden tremor rocked the castle, as if struck by an earthquake, and the princess gasped. Just then, a man and a woman, also dressed in royal garb, a purple brocade frock for the man and a long flowing turquoise dress for the woman, came bursting into the throne room from a hidden door in the rear. “What’s happening?” the man boomed. “Are you all right, darling?”

  “I think it’s an earthquake,” Virgil suggested.

  “We don’t get any earthquakes down here,” said the king censoriously, as he stared down at Virgil, still down on one knee. “And who are you?”

  “This man is my betrothed, father,” said the princess brightly.

  The king, a bearded specimen with a face that stretched out in width just a little further than was esthetically acceptable, seemed taken aback by this message, but then another earthquake shook the castle, and cries of dismay and fear rang out in the large throne room as the king clutched the queen, and Virgil clutched the chief, who quickly gave him a shove that almost landed him on his tailbone.

  Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the tremors stopped. And then the sun broke through the deck of clouds that had held Allard in their grip, and slanted in through the stained-glass windows, bathing the throne room in glorious light.

  “Oh!” cried the queen, who’d grasped her daughter’s hand in hers and was now clutching it tightly. “He did it! Severin! He finally did it, darling!”

  Chapter 28

  And at this, the princess’s face lit up just as much as the room did, and Virgil, who had eyes only for her, knew that he was hopelessly lost. His heart had always belonged to Alice Whitehouse, but unfortunately she’d never seen it fit to return the favor, deciding to give her heart to Reece Hudson instead.

  But now he knew that fate had granted him his most urgent wish: to find a woman upon whom he could bestow his large storage of love. A supply which he’d been hoarding for so long now and which had grown to such dimensions, only the Hoover dam could hold it back from spilling over. Now, with a single smile, Princess Tabitha had accomplished the impossible.

  His only hope now was that his mother would approve, a matter which suddenly gave him pause. But then there were cries of, “He’s coming back! Severin is returning with the ring!” and his attention was riveted once again on Princess Tabitha, who had descended from her throne and now took the slightest and most delightful grip on his hand, and whispered, “All will be well, Virgil Scattering. Allard has been saved! We’re going to be all right!”

  And then he was led to the king, and was induced to go down on one knee once again as he bore the scrutiny of that great man with as much fortitude as he could muster. And finally the king asked, “Are your intentions pure, Happy Baysian?” and he assured the man that his intentions were just about as pure as the driven snow, an embellishment which perhaps he should have kept to himself, for the king’s frown deepened at this levity in one upon whom a great honor was about to be bestowed.

  “I think he’ll make Tabitha a wonderful husband,” the queen now added her own two cents to the debate, and the king’s frown eased up a little.

  “I don’t know,” he said, studying Virgil’s large ears, his receding hairline and his pronounced Adam’s apple. “He’s not exactly prince charming, is he?”

  “Looks can be deceiving, darling,” said the queen. “I’m sure that beneath that disappointing exterior there lies the heart of a lion.”

  “He escaped the Allard dungeons all by himself,” Tabitha pointed out, defending her suitor-to-be. “Few men have tried and lived to tell the tale.”

  “That is true,” agreed the king, fingering his beard. Then he seemed to make up his mind, for he said, “We will meet with your mother and father, Virgil Scattering, at which point I will make my decision known.”

  Virgil, whose knee was starting to hurt, looked up at the bearded monarch. “I only have a mother, and I’m sure she’ll be absolutely thrilled.”

  “No father?” asked the king, his voice betraying his concern.

  “Oh, you poor, poor man,” said the queen. “Raised fatherless, no less.”

  “Oh, Mr. Scattering,” echoed Tabitha, picking up the handkerchief he’d offered her to mop up another tear. “What a remarkably strong man you are.”

  “Just call me Virgil,” Virgil suggested. Since they were about to be betrothed it only seemed reasonable to put matters on a first-name basis.

  “What a powerful name for such a powerful man,” Tabitha gushed.

  “Yes, well,” muttered the king, less enthusiastic about Marjorie Scattering’s name choice for her firstborn, “I still need to meet your mother.”

  This seemed to be the final word on the matter, for Tabitha, who seemed inordinately pleased, took a grip on his arm as if afraid to let go, and when he glanced into her eyes, he was lost once again. His had always been the life of a rugged policeman, and he couldn’t imagine what his new life would entail. But then again, the entire episode had baffled him to a degree, and his bafflement seemed to continue with this new, surprising episode.

  But there was no more time to ponder these and other matters, for the doors to the throne room suddenly burst open, and about a thousand people suddenly came barging in on their small and private gathering.

  “The news of Severin’s success has spread,” Tabitha explained. She waved a hand at the motley crew who streamed in through the doors. “Allardians have gathered to celebrate Severin’s glorious return!”

  “That’s great,” he said, and suddenly wished he could see a familiar face amongst the throng, for the only friend he had in this realm, Chief Whitehouse, still stood eyeing him askance, as if not entirely approving of this latest development.

  The chief’s next words confirmed this. “I’d hate to see you go, Virgil,” he said, and the gentleness in his tone surprised Virgil, for the chief had never given any indication before that he even liked the officer.

  “You would?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” grunted the chief. “I’ve always considered you one of our best and… I was going to say brightest but I would be remiss there.” He clapped him on the shoulder and massaged the body part fondly. “You may not be our brightest, but you’re certainly one of our most dedicated and conscientious officers, and I, for one, am proud to have wor
ked side by side with you.”

  “You won’t have to miss him,” said Tabitha now, who’d listened to the remarks with growing pride. She smiled at both men. “I’ve always wanted to live in Happy Bays, and now I can. I will join your realm, Virgil, and we will live happily ever after, you as a policeman and I as the owner of my bakery.”

  “Your bakery?” asked Virgil, greatly surprised.

  She nodded. “It has come to my attention that the store space across from Bell’s Bakery has unexpectedly become available.”

  “But that’s where Marcel Le Corbusier has his shop,” said the chief.

  “No longer,” she said with a smile. “From now on Tabitha’s Tasty Tarts will take its place.”

  Virgil’s grin was so wide it practically hurt his lips. “But that’s wonderful! So I can remain a member of the Happy Bays Police Department?”

  “You can, and I will feed you and all the other officers!”

  The chief seemed equally pleased. “Just promise me that you will make donuts, your highness. You’ll have the patronage of the entire police force!”

  She planted a quick peck on his cheek. “Once you’ve tasted a donut of mine you will never want another, Chief Whitehouse,” she promised.

  Virgil grinned at this, and then, to his and Chief Whitehouse’s surprise, the entire Happy Bays Police Force entered through the doors of the throne room. His jaw dropped when he saw them approach, led by the man in gold. And that’s when he saw his mother, and he swallowed with difficulty. He wasn’t entirely sanguine that she would approve of this whirlwind romance.

  Tabitha seemed to have felt his hesitation, for she took a firmer grip on his arm and said, “Introduce me to your mother, Virgil. I’m dying to meet her.”

  “I’m sure she’s dying to meet you too,” he said, and ignored the chief’s skeptical snort at this. But then he was suddenly surrounded by his friends and colleagues, and as stories were swapped and kisses exchanged he was gratified to find that Tabitha never left his side. And then he finally came face to face with his mother, and he thought he could hear the theme song from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly as a reverent hush descended upon the crowd.

  “Mom,” he said, screwing up his courage to the sticking point, “this is Princess Tabitha…” He hesitated, then bravely forged ahead. “She is the woman I love. The woman I intend to marry.”

  Marjorie, who rarely was struck dumb seemed dumbstruck now, for she opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. Then, finally, she nodded. “Very well, Virgil,” she said, a touch of wistfulness imbuing her speech. “Very well.” And she gave Tabitha a slight smile. “I always knew that only a real princess would be good enough for my son,” she said, and then broke down in tears. But they were tears of happiness, Virgil saw to his extreme elation, and then Marjorie and Tabitha were exchanging pleasantries and cake recipes, and he knew that soon they’d get along like sailors on shore leave.

  And as he watched the display of affection between the two most important women in his life, he was suddenly aware of the man in the golden suit appearing at his side. He eyed him a little uncertainly. “You’re not going to send me to the dungeons of Allard again, are you?” he asked tensely.

  The man laughed a booming laugh, which took Virgil by surprise, for the last time they met the golden man had been seriousness personified.

  “No, I’m not going to throw you into the dungeons, Virgil,” he man said, clapping him on the shoulder. “What I am going to do is ask you a favor.”

  “A favor? You want me to do you a favor?”

  “That’s right,” he acknowledged with a keen glance at Marjorie. “Would you do me the honor of formally introducing me to your mother, Virgil?”

  For a moment, Virgil had the impression that another earthquake had assaulted Allard, for the floor quaked beneath his feet and the entire room seemed to wobble. He had to firmly plant his feet to prevent himself from keeling over. “You… you want to be formally introduced to my mother?”

  “Yes, I do. Now that the fate of Allard is secure once again it is time that I brought my personal affairs in order and thought about my future. I have remained a bachelor all these years, devoting my life to Allard and the retrieval of the Ring of Hodd, but now the time has come to settle down, and your mother has struck me from the first as a most remarkable woman.”

  Virgil could do no more than goggle at the man. “But you’re so young!” he exclaimed, slipping into the role of his mother’s keeper more than her son.

  Severin gave him a look of censure. “I am two hundred and three.”

  “Oh,” said Virgil, taken aback. “Well, I guess that’s all right then.” It now occurred to him that his mother was probably too young for this man, but decided to swallow any further remarks.

  Severin now placed a hand on his shoulder and gazed deeply into his eyes. “Will you accept me in your life as your stepfather, Virgil?”

  He gulped some more, feeling that the world had suddenly turned into a Picasso painting, but then finally managed to croak, “Sure. Why not?”

  He received a pat on the shoulder, as if from a game show host congratulating a candidate for supplying the million-dollar response. “Good man. I appreciate it. Now introduce me to your mother, will you?”

  And introduce him to his mother he did. And he was surprised to see that the same love light that had shone in his own eyes and Tabitha’s was now shining brightly in his mother’s eyes as she gazed upon this man of gold.

  And then Severin officially placed the ring he’d retrieved on Tabitha’s finger, and the feast could really commence, as loud cheers rang out from the gathered Allardians, and even the Happy Baysians were over the moon. And next thing he knew he found himself at the center of a gathering of his colleagues, and Chief Whitehouse must have spread the news, for they were all clapping his shoulder and congratulating him on the happy occasion.

  And as he gazed upon Tabitha, who now looked back at him a little coyly, he knew that today was the happiest day in his life, but also the weirdest.

  And for a Happy Bays police officer that was saying something.

  Chapter 29

  Felicity and Alice watched the proceedings with a kindly eye. The news about Virgil’s surprise engagement had already spread through the small group, and she watched as Marjorie, too, seemed to get along with her own Allardian pretty well.

  “It was about time Marjorie hooked up,” said Alice.

  “And Virgil,” she added.

  “Yes, and Virgil.”

  There was a note of melancholy in Alice’s voice, and she wondered why.

  “You don’t think Tabitha will make Virgil a wonderful bride?” she asked.

  “Oh, no, it’s not that,” Alice was quick to respond. “It’s just that…” She sighed. “It’s just that we won’t be seeing much of him after the wedding.”

  Yes, it was a real pity they wouldn’t see their friend all that often anymore. But then again, Virgil’s happiness was more important than theirs.

  “He’s going to live in Happy Bays,” now announced Rick, who’d just returned from a round of the throne room, a glass of bubbly in his hand. He took a sip as he let the cries of surprise wash over him. Leave it to the reporter in the group to find out stuff, Felicity thought with a grin.

  “He’s going to keep being a policeman while Tabitha sets up shop across the street from Bell’s,” he added casually, quirking his eyebrows.

  This drew surprised cries from Felicity’s mom and dad.

  “She’s going to take over Marcel’s?” asked Pete.

  “You’re getting yourself some competition,” said Rick, slapping his future father-in-law on the back and earning himself a vicious scowl in the process.

  “Royal competition,” Dad muttered. “Nobody will shop at Bell’s anymore. They’re all going to want to have a taste of Tabitha’s delicious pastry.”

  “I’m sure business will still be coming our way,” said Mom soothingly.

  And s
he was right, of course. Initially Happy Baysians would flock to Tabitha’s to find out what all the fuss was about, but then they’d divide their business between the two stores, the same way it had always been.

  “I think it’s great,” said Reece. “A royal bakery is just what the town needs to lift it above the fray. I’ll bet Mayor MacDonald will be over the moon.”

  He was staring at Virgil and Tabitha as he spoke these words, and Felicity could just see the wheels in his head turning. “You want to turn this whole thing into a movie, don’t you?”

  “Well, someone’s got to. What an amazing tale! I could play Severin, of course, and I’m sure we could tap Jennifer Lawrence for Tabitha.”

  “Who’d play Virgil?” asked Alice.

  “No Virgil in my movie,” Reece was quick to respond. “There would have to be extensive rewrites, of course. In my version there would only be Severin and Tabitha. Nice, clean love story. Just what the doctor ordered.”

  “Better than your space movie?” Alice asked.

  “Can’t be worse, babe. Actually, now that I come to think of it, I’m changing agents again. The guy who set me up with that science fiction disaster is the same one who fired Mark and Cleo Tate, two of my best friends in Tinseltown. I can’t condone that kind of behavior any longer.”

  Bettina, who’d joined them with her husband Achilles, said, “Look at Marjorie. She’s positively glowing!”

  “You would glow too if you were dating an Allardian guardian,” said Mabel, who seemed incapable of keeping a note of jealousy from her voice.

  “I’m happy with what I’ve got,” declared Bettina, and took a firmer grip on her husband’s arm.

  “What’s going to happen to Gardenia?” Alice asked. “I mean, she did steal a gun and shot a hole in our ceiling.”

  Her dad had drifted over from the HBPD reunion, and caught his daughter’s last remark. “I think we’ll let her off the hook. The woman has enough on her plate already, don’t you think?”

 

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