by H G Lynch
I stepped back. Spencer stepped forward. His fingers were still on my wrist, probably feeling the insane fluttering of my pulse. His eyes flashed gold again, before returning to blue more slowly. There was a power in his eyes that I could barely resist, didn’t want to resist, but I had to.
I thought of Dominic, of his face when he smiled, of the tentative way he’d kissed me in a kitchen full of the smells of bacon and citrus shampoo. What would it do to him if he knew I was attracted to his half-brother? Would it be worse than if he knew I felt more than just primal desire toward Spencer? I didn’t want to find out. I didn’t want to lose Dominic, and I didn’t want to lose myself to the dangerous friction dragging me further away from common sense and closer to Spencer’s feral gaze. Digging my torn nails into my palms, I took a deep breath, turning my head away. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling my heart drum on my ribs.
Then I felt Spencer’s breath on my neck, his lips against my ear as he murmured, “Don’t. Don’t turn away from me, Tilly.”
I dug my nails into my palms so hard, I was sure I was going to draw blood. The joints in my fingers turned white and sore. “I can’t,” I said raggedly, “Dominic…” I shook my head.
He growled, leaning closer, his bare thigh brushing mine. Fire shot through me, white-hot, and I lost my breath. Lost my thoughts. Almost lost my control.
“Forget Dominic. I know you want me,” he purred, his voice thick with lust and the wolf inside him. His words made everything inside me turn to knots, a noise catching in my throat. “I can smell it on you. Your desire,” he whispered it like a secret, like a promise, like a threat.
Drugged by his nearness, his scent, his touch, it took me an eternity to hear his words and not just the rough, dark tone they were growled in. Then a little part of my brain finally, finally kicked to life again through the haze, and I froze. Some of the heat drained out of me, the blood rushing to my feet, and then running back up into my face.
“You…what?” My voice came out heavy, as if I’d been breathing smoke.
Spencer’s fingers stilled on my arm, where he’d been drawing teasing nonsense patterns with his fingertips.
I licked my dry lips, but my mouth was a desert. “You mean that literally, don’t you?” I asked in a rasping voice, and my stomach sank as I said it, because I already knew the answer. Werewolf. Wolf. Animal. Animals could smell fear, predators especially, but they could smell other things too. Why hadn’t I realised it before?
Spencer frowned, a line between his brows. “I…” His frown deepened, his mouth pressing into a line of frustration as he tried to work out what it was I wanted him to say.
There was nothing he could say. I closed my eyes, blowing out my breath as heat stung my cheeks. Embarrassed—I was totally, horrifyingly humiliated. He’d been able to tell all along how he affected me. Was that why he’d been hanging around me when he avoided everyone else? Did he think I would just…did he only want…I couldn’t even finish the thought. I bit my lip.
“Tilly,” Spencer said softly.
I felt his fingertips brush my cheek. I jerked away, opening my eyes to glare at him. He drew his hand back, looking as if I’d wounded him deeply. I tried to ignore the pang of guilt in my stomach. He sighed.
“Tilly, don’t… it’s not like that,” he murmured, as if he could read my thoughts.
“Like what?” I snapped—or tried to. I wanted to lash out at him, but my voice came out soft and trembling, the voice of a hurt little girl.
Spencer looked down. “I’m not just…it’s not…don’t think so little of me, Tilly.” He shook his head. “Don’t think that just because I’m part animal, I feel only animal needs. I’m as human as you are, I feel emotions the same way you do, and what I feel…” Pausing, he looked up again, his blue eyes meeting mine. “I feel like I like you, Tilly. No, don’t look at me like that,” he added.
I wondered what expression was on my face.
“I don’t really like anyone, except maybe my half-brothers. I don’t dislike people, but I don’t generally like them either. But you’re different, Tilly. You judge me for who I am, not for who my mother was, or what she did to my father. I like you, and I know Dominic likes you, too, and that drives me crazy. Wolves aren’t known for temper control when it comes to females, but then neither are teenage boys.” His smile was bitter.
“Spencer,” I breathed, astounded. It was the most I’d ever heard him say at once, and what he was saying made my heart trip and my head spin.
He moved forward, so fast I didn’t even have time to gasp, and his lips brushed my forehead lightly. Just the slightest touch of his mouth on my skin, but I felt it all the way to my toes.
“Just thought you should know,” he whispered into my hair.
I drew a breath of his rainwater scent, lifting my face to his, but he was already retreating. He backed away from me, smiling wryly as my fingers trailed across his bare shoulder, my fingertips tingling. Then he was sinking into the shadows, disappearing, and I knew he was already a wolf again.
For a moment, I stood there, touching the spot on my forehead where his lips had brushed. I was trembling, and I didn’t know if it was from the cold, the shock of waking up from a nightmare that wasn’t just a nightmare after all, or the lingering adrenaline of desire.
Slowly, clumsily, I returned to my cabin, barely aware of where I was going. My mind was a mess, and I knew that I wouldn’t be getting back to sleep with the scent of rainstorms and wood smoke burning in my nose.
Chapter Thirteen
** Tilly **
The final couple of days until the full moon passed in a blur. Dominic and Spencer joined me for breakfast the morning of the big event, which was about as awkward as it had been the first time. Then Dominic insisted on showing me the route the wolves would run that night, since I wouldn’t get to run with them—obviously. I just got to watch them Change, and then I…I didn’t know. Stood around until they came back? Returned to my cabin for a cuppa? I was hoping Sarah would give me a little guidance on what I was meant to do before the ritual started.
“So…looking forward to tonight?” Dominic asked, holding up a branch as I passed under it.
I gave him a swift, grateful smile and he let go of the branch, sweeping into a gentlemanly bow. I blinked.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” I replied.
I stepped over a raised tree root, only to slip on another one I hadn’t noticed buried under some scattered leaves. Dominic caught my arm, steadying me. I frowned at my feet. I didn’t usually stumble like that, the woods always steered me, guiding my feet. I wasn’t focused on the energy around me. My mind was all over the place, distracted and flitting from worry to worry. The witches, the ritual later, the wolves being out in force with the hunters looking for them, the dirt I kept finding in my bed in a morning, and Spencer. No specific worry about him, just Spencer in general made me anxious. His sudden daylight appearances had me a little thrown and a tad spooked. He just popped up out of nowhere sometimes, and vanished again just as abruptly. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, except for annoying Dominic.
“This is normal for me. Well, your presence excluded. We Change on the full moon every month. It’s no big deal really.” Dom shrugged, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. “But it’ll be a new experience for you. Are you scared? You don’t have to be. Everyone is totally in control in wolf form. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”
I smiled softly. “I know. You’ve said that before.”
He cut a glance at me from under his curls. His responding smile was shy. “I wasn’t sure you’d still believe me, now that you know…” He looked away.
“Now that I know you’re all werewolves? Of course, I still believe you. You were a werewolf when you promised me the first time, and nobody hurt me. The only thing that’s changed is now I know you’re a werewolf, so I don’t expect anyone to hurt me any more than I did before.”
I stepped in front of him, and waited until he met
my eyes. His were a startling clear green, but if I looked closely, I could see flecks of gold in the green rings. “What you are doesn’t make your promises mean less to me, Dominic. It’s who you are that makes me trust you.”
I don’t know why I was suddenly feeling all sentimental. Maybe it was the bad feeling creeping up on me, or maybe it was just the way he looked at me with his bronze curls in his bright eyes, and his dimple a faint line in his cheek.
Sunlight falling through the gently waving leaves of the trees caught the angles of his face, lighting something in his expression that I couldn’t define, but understood anyway. My stomach stirred with nerves, my heart tripped, but my hand was steady as I raised it slowly to touch his curls. His eyes didn’t leave mine, but the green flared with sparks of gold as I tugged lightly on one of his loose auburn curls. His mouth twitched, but the rest of him was unnaturally still.
His voice barely audible, he whispered, “I’m glad you trust me.”
My fingers tightened, wrapping his curls around them. I swallowed, taking a step closer. I kept my eyes on his face, not entirely sure what I was doing. I just felt like I had to do it.
“I’m not really used to this sort of thing,” I said quietly, my voice rough.
His dimple flickered.
“I just…want to try something…” I checked his expression, making sure it was okay, that I had permission to try. The slight lowering of his lids, the flash of his eyes, let me know I did. Let me know I probably had permission to try anything I wanted right then.
Tentatively, I took another half step forward, until I had to tip my head back to look up at him, until I could smell leaves and oranges on him, until I heard his breathing hitch for just a moment. His hair was silky in my fingers, soothing my nerves a little. Carefully, I raised myself on my toes, shutting my eyes, and pressed my lips against his.
My heart stumbled a little. Dominic stayed perfectly still, waiting, and I leaned into him slightly. He reacted, one hand lifting to touch my shoulder blade. His palm was warm against my back—warmer than the sunlight stroking the nape of my neck and the top of my head. I shifted, leaning back, and he let me go.
I lowered myself down so my feet were flat on the ground and stepped back. Biting down on my lip, I opened my eyes. Dominic was looking at me with yellow eyes, a slight smile curving his mouth. His curls were a little mussed from my fingers grasping them. I smiled back hesitantly.
“What was that for?” he asked, his soft smile cracking into a wider grin.
I looked down and shrugged. “Good luck?”
“For you, or for me?”
“Both, I suppose.”
He paused, and then said, “Well. I feel luckier than a four leaf clover now.”
He reached out and took my hand lightly in his, his dirt-smudged fingers enclosing mine. I smiled, the strange bad feeling that had been slinking along the edges of my shoulder blades disappearing. Maybe I would be as lucky as he felt, and nothing would go wrong later. Maybe.
Chapter Fourteen
** Tilly **
That evening, when it was time, I lifted my chin and stalked out the door in my bare feet and fancy dress, not bothering to lock my door. Sarah led me down the steps from the porch, the wood dry and rough under my soles. It was almost pitch black outside, but Sarah’s hair was a bright beacon, so I followed her into the trees as that cold feeling knotted around my spine, gripping with icy fingers. I glanced up through the branches and spotted the moon, fat and round, shining in the endless expanse of charcoal sky. I didn’t know if there was a moon goddess, but I prayed to her anyway, asking that nothing would go wrong.
When we reached the site of the ceremony, I was pleasantly surprised to see it was the clearing around the massive oak tree that Dominic had taken me to when I’d first arrived at their camp. Just like that evening, the tree was lit up with little hanging lanterns, making it glow like a great jewel. But this time, there was no picnic, and Dominic and I weren’t alone. Everyone was there, even the infants. Ben and Polly were yipping excitedly, no noise I’d ever heard a toddler make before. Chris, in shorts with the batman logo printed on them, was racing Justin back and forth from the oak tree to the edge of the clearing. Annie was watching them with bright eyes, as if she wanted to join in. Bob and Greg were talking to Graham, and Frank was saying something to John, his face serious.
Reflexively, my eyes searched the crowd and found Dominic and Desmond both wearing just shorts, hanging about under the heavy boughs of the oak. Chewing my lip, I glanced around once more, looking for Spencer, but I couldn’t see him. I wasn’t entirely surprised, but I was a little disappointed.
Ever since the other night, when he’d admitted to liking me, he’d been…not avoiding me—not at all—but avoiding being alone with me. He was okay when there was someone else with me, even if it was Dominic. Though I kept an eye on him when they were in the same vicinity, after what he’d said about Dominic liking me driving him crazy, but the second it was just me and him, he made up an excuse to leave, or even just walked off without saying a word.
I tried not to be hurt. I knew I’d stung him the other night. I just didn’t know what had really upset him: my assumption that he’d only been hanging after me because he wanted sex—although that had definitely made him angry—or that I’d turned away from him because of Dominic.
When I’d been able to snag a few minutes alone with him without him bolting, I’d tried to talk to him and apologise, but it was like talking to a brick wall. He just ignored me or shrugged and said it was no big deal. He was lying. It was a big deal, and we both knew it. I just didn’t know how to get him to listen to me. I couldn’t get through to him.
I understood, after that, what Dominic had really meant when he said Spencer was distant. I’d thought I understood before, when he’d just been a quiet shadow that only slunk out at night, but I realised that that had been damn near social compared to the Grim Reaper lurking silently and darkly around me the past few days. Distant? Even when he was standing three feet away, it was as if he was three miles away.
A low whistle startled me out of my thoughts, and I realised I was glaring darkly at my bare toes peeking out from under the excessively long hem of my dress. Trying to brighten my expression, I looked up to see Dominic and Desmond walking toward me. I guessed from his smirk that Desmond had been the one to whistle, his eyes darting up and down my body, taking in the dress. Dominic’s green eyes were wide, almost awestruck, trailing more slowly over me.
I smiled shyly, touching the skirt of my dress, my face growing hot under the scrutiny. As slyly as possible, I returned the favour, intrigued. I’d never seen either boy shirtless before, and it wasn’t a bad sight. Desmond was a little bulkier than Dominic, but they were both leaner than Spencer. I couldn’t help but compare. Des had a little bit of hair on his chest, not much. Dominic had a birthmark just above his bellybutton, in the shape of an oak leaf. I wondered, helplessly, if Spencer had any birthmarks…he did have that tattoo…
A little distance away, Sarah turned, watching as the two boys gawked at me openly. Her mouth turned down at the corners. I lifted my hands in a semi-shrugging, semi-apologetic gesture when she caught my eyes. I felt uncomfortable, as if I was deliberately stealing the limelight, but she was the one who’d made the dress. I guess she’d just done a better job with it than she’d thought. That wasn’t my fault.
“Wow,” Dominic murmured, blinking as if someone had shone a bright light in his eyes. “Tilly, you look…” He shook his head, at a loss for words.
Desmond gave me a sly look. “Hot?” he put in.
Dominic nudged him. I looked down at myself, surprised. Did I look hot? I certainly looked different from when I was wearing my scrappy shorts and oversized hoodie. But hot? I suppose the plunging neckline probably had a lot to say toward Desmond’s opinion. Self-consciously, I tugged at the fabric, pulling it closed over my chest and wishing fervently that I had at least worn a bra. But it really wasn’t the kind of
dress you could wear a bra with.
“I was going to say beautiful,” Dominic said, glaring at Des, but there was colour on his cheekbones.
Desmond rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to retort, but someone else cut him off.
“Ravishing,” a smooth, quiet voice said from behind me, dark and soft as velvet.
A delicate shudder ran down my spine, and I froze. I willed my expression to stay steady as I turned to look at Spencer, but when I saw him leaning casually against a tree right behind me, shirtless with his hands in his jeans pockets—of course he wasn’t wearing shorts like the rest of them—I suspected my will failed me. Spencer flicked his eyes over me, swift and disinterested, but I thought I saw a glimmer of wolfy gold in the blue depths as he noted the V of bare skin exposed by the plunging neckline of the dress.
I felt someone step up close behind me, putting a hand somewhat possessively on my shoulder, and I knew it was Dominic. I glanced up at him, saw he was glowering at Spencer as if he’d said something to insult me, instead of complimenting me.
“What?” he asked, his voice strained with the effort of sounding at least partially civil.
I blinked. I’d never seen Dominic so riled before.
Spencer raised one eyebrow just a millimetre, the rest of him perfectly still…perfectly delicious to look at. I turned my eyes down.
“How she looks. She looks…ravishing,” Spencer said with deliberate slowness.
I could feel his eyes lingering on me, and I glanced up in time to catch his intimate smile, and looked down again hastily. My heart stumbled over an erratic, quick beat. Dominic’s fingers tightened ever so slightly on my shoulder, barely noticeable if I hadn’t been so painfully aware of his touch on my bare skin. Not the same way as I had been aware of my bare skin the other night with Spencer, when even his fingertips on my cheekbone had been enough to spark a fire inside me, and his thigh brushing mine had sent lightning through my body. No, I was aware of Dominic’s touch, because I knew Spencer was, too. And I knew he wasn’t happy about it, despite his calm demeanour.