by H G Lynch
Dominic’s face hardened. He looked outraged. “You took advantage—”
“No,” Spencer snapped harshly, “I didn’t.” He shook his head, stalking away from his stupid half-brother. Of course he would think that was why Spencer had been there. He was so blinded by jealousy, he couldn’t even consider the possibility that Tilly had simply wanted him here.
“I was here when she finally got in last night. Waiting for her,” Spencer said slowly, ignoring the way Dominic bristled. “I was here when she came in, covered in dirt and blood, crying. And you know what she told me? She was terrified, Dominic, terrified that the pack was going to kill her! She was scared that you wanted her dead, because of what she is!”
“Liar!” Dominic barked, his eyes flashing. “Tilly knows I would never hurt her!”
“Does she?” Spencer replied calmly, watching Dominic shudder with the effort of holding his wolf back. “Because I seem to recall that you bared your fangs at her, just as everyone else did, last night when she showed what she could do. I was the only one who stood there next to her without fear, after she protected us! After she stood against a woman who terrifies her, the woman she ran away from! After she put herself on the line to keep our secret from the hunters!” Spencer was working himself into a rage, and he knew he should calm down, felt his wolf prickling under his skin. His voice came out half-growl on his next words.
“You say you have feelings for her, want to have her as your own. You’re not even worthy to be her friend, let alone anything more!” A shudder cramped his spine, and the joints in his fingers popped. He clenched his hands in fists, fighting the Change.
He was so angry, furious. He couldn’t believe Dominic had the nerve to show up there, as if he had a right to speak to Tilly after the way he’d acted, as if he could just assume she would want to see him, or that she’d forgive him. The part that really prickled, the part that killed Spencer, was that Tilly probably would forgive Dominic. If Dominic just said the right things, used his charm and his green eyes, Tilly would forgive him, and then…what of Spencer, the boy who’d stood by her and held her while she cried? Would she still let him hold her, or would she want Dominic to kiss her again? The idea sickened Spencer, and he felt his teeth grow sharp.
“You—” he started to go on, taking a step forward and seeing how it pushed Dominic’s control.
The strain was written in the narrowing of his half-brother’s eyes, and the tightness of his features. Spencer didn’t care. He wanted to push until Dominic broke.
“Spencer, don’t.” The quiet, ragged voice came from the edge of the kitchen.
Spencer turned to see Tilly standing at the mouth of the hallway, looking exhausted and tearstained in her oversized nightshirt. She was leaning against the wall as if it were the only thing holding her up. There were scratches on her bare legs, and a bruise starting to show on her right knee. Shadows like more bruises were smeared under her eyes, which were fixed beyond him on Dominic. Spencer gritted his teeth.
“Tilly,” Dominic sighed, running a hand through his curls. All the anger had drained out of him at the sight of her, his wolf retreating. He looked horribly ashamed, guilt like a pale mask over his face. “Tilly, I—” he started.
She shook her head, and he closed his mouth. Carefully, she pushed herself away from the wall and shuffled to the dining table, dropping into one of the chairs and putting her head in her hands, fingers buried in the mess of her hair. Spencer and Dominic exchanged a quick, conferring glance, before moving to sit down at the table with her. Spencer took the seat right next to her, and glared pointedly at Dominic until he sat on the other side of the table.
Tilly didn’t raise her head as she spoke. “Why are you here, Dominic?” she asked in a slow, dispassionate voice.
Spencer wondered what her expression was under all that hair hanging over her face. He wanted to take her hand, but he knew she wouldn’t like it with Dominic there, watching. He folded his hands together under the table, gripping his knuckles so he wouldn’t be tempted to lunge across the table and throttle Dominic.
Dominic swallowed, his throat moving briefly. “I came to…apologise. For last night. For…” He shook his head violently, curls flying.
Tilly didn’t see it, but Spencer suspected she sensed the boy’s agitated motion. Minnie reached up and tugged on one of his curls, as was his habit. Spencer kept his eyes on him, narrowed in warning.
“I’m sorry, Tilly. Last night, I was a total jackass. I didn’t mean to…I was just…” Dominic bit his lip, pulling on his curls so hard Spencer began to think he might pull his hair out.
“Scared?” Spencer pitched in unhelpfully, twitching one eyebrow. He folded his arms across his chest, leaning back in his chair.
Dominic bowed his head, wrapping a curl around his finger so he could better tug at it. The shame on his face was evident. It didn’t soften Spencer’s anger toward his half-brother. The way to avoid feeling shameful was not to act shamefully in the first place.
Tilly finally looked up. Her hair fell away from her face, and Spencer saw her expression; she looked miserable. He tensed, hating Dominic for making her look that way, but she didn’t look at him. Her grey eyes were steady on Dominic’s face.
“Is he right, Dominic?” she asked, not looking at Spencer. “Are you scared of me? You were last night. Are you still scared now, sitting at the table with me? If Spencer wasn’t here, would you be able to sit there across from me and look me in the eye?”
Her voice was eerily flat, and Spencer thought she was doing that on purpose—either to try to provoke a reaction in Dominic, or so that her voice wouldn’t shake. He could see the brightness of tears forming in her eyes, but then she blinked and the shine was gone. She was not the same broken girl that had sobbed into his chest the night before. She was the girl who’d jumped in front of a gun to save a wolf, who’d faced down the woman who’d tortured her since she was a kid, who’d pulled a bullet from his side, and hadn’t run screaming when he’d become a boy from a wolf right in front of her. She was Tilly being strong, and for a moment, just a moment, Spencer felt something bright and hot flare inside him, something he didn’t understand. It might have been pride…might have been something else. Either way, he looked down, fearing it would show on his face—he didn’t want Dominic to see it, whatever it was.
Once the feeling had passed, Spencer looked up at Dominic across the table, searching the younger boy’s face for some trace of fear. Tilly was watching him too, solemn and expectant. Inconspicuously, Spencer sniffed the air, but there was no tang of fear in it—just the stale dust of the cabin and the smell of lemon from the polish on the shiny dining table. It was so shiny the daylight pouring onto it through the window looked like spilled mercury, reflecting Tilly’s grim face and Dominic’s uncertain one like a mirror.
There was only a slight pause between Tilly’s question and Dominic’s answer, but it seemed to Spencer to stretch on forever, the air claustrophobic with a tension so thick, it made his nerves jangle and his wolf bristle inside him.
Dominic leaned forward, his elbows on the shiny table surface, his eyes wide and earnest under his unruly chestnut curls. “No. I’m not scared of you, Tilly,” he said vehemently.
With a soft sigh, Tilly sat back in her chair, resting her palms flat on the table. Her expression softened, and she didn’t look away from Dominic as she said, “Spencer, is he telling the truth? You said before you could smell—”
She broke off, hesitating only the slightest second, and he knew she was thinking of the other night, in the woods. When he’d wanted so badly to kiss her, when he’d woken her from her sleepwalking and seen the moonlight glow in her grey eyes like silver, and felt desire burning up in him like a desperate need. I know you want me, he’d said roughly, I can smell it on you… your desire. And he had. It had smelled like honey and cinnamon, sweet and spicy, overwhelming and intoxicating. He’d wanted so badly to feel her hair between his fingers, her lips on his, her skin
against his…and she’d pushed him away. Because of Dominic. It was always Dominic.
Tilly finished her sentence, her pause barely perceptible except to Spencer because he knew what she’d been about to say and it wasn’t, “…that you could smell—certain emotions. Can you tell if he’s scared of me?”
Her eyes flicked to him, and he wondered if Dominic too could see the faintest blush of pink on her cheeks, see the slight darkening of her eyes at recalling the memory. A little of Spencer’s bitterness drained out of him.
He nodded brusquely. “I can tell.” He didn’t elaborate.
Tilly frowned slightly, her pulse fluttering just under her jaw as he held her eyes. Then she looked away.“Is he scared?” she asked, sounding a little exasperated.
Spencer’s lips turned up at the corners, not quite a smile, and certainly not without malice. “No. He isn’t scared…not right now, anyway.”
Without looking up, Tilly nodded. Dominic shot Spencer a glare that she didn’t see. He just stared evenly back at Dominic. As if sensing the silent hostility between the two boys, Tilly looked up at them both abruptly. Her cheeks reddened, her gaze falling on Dominic.
“Um…I don’t know what Spencer told you about why he’s here,” she glanced at Spencer next to her, so swift it was barely even a glance, “but, um, it’s not…what it looks like.” She grimaced as she said it, and then groaned. “God that sounds lame.”
She shook her head, and Dominic chuckled tentatively. Spencer clenched his fists under the table, hating Dominic right then, and for a second hating Tilly for her stupid need to clarify to the other boy, to let him know ever so subtly that she hadn’t forsaken him for Spencer over one argument. Why didn’t she just say, “No, I didn’t sleep with your half-brother, and I’m still plenty available to you, Dominic, if you want to kiss me again”?
Dominic grinned, that goofy, annoyingly cheerful grin of his. The one that made Tilly smile back at him as if she just couldn’t help herself. “It’s okay. I…figured he was just here to keep an eye on you. Spencer might have the good looks, but he has none of the charm…and you’ve got better taste anyway, huh?” Dominic winked at Tilly as if he was sharing a secret with her. She giggled, and he glanced at his half-brother, undeniably smug. “Isn’t that right, Spence?”
With an unconcealed glare in Dominic’s direction, Spencer got up from the table, abruptly enough that his chair skidded backward across the floor, threatening to topple over. It stayed upright, but Spencer stormed past it.
Tilly jumped up with a cry of surprise. “Spencer! Where are you going?” she called after him.
He paused with his hand on the door handle, head bowed. He glanced over his shoulder at her. She stood next to her chair, looking startled and hurt by his sudden urge to leave, her grey eyes wide. Dominic, across the table, was still sitting, looking only mildly surprised and not at all upset about Spencer’s aim to depart. Spencer bit his lip.
Raising his eyes to Tilly’s, he said, “You know where.” He opened the door and left, slamming it shut behind him.
** Tilly **
“What was that about?” Dominic asked as soon as Spencer was gone.
I stood and stared at the door for a moment, frowning. I hadn’t expected him to react like that to Dominic’s comments. Dom had only been teasing, after all. On the other side of the dining table, Dominic was frowning too, looking a little concerned. I felt slightly guilty about yelling at him like I had the previous night. I’d been too harsh, and he hadn’t deserved it. He had just been surprised was all. In the middle of a circle of hunters aiming guns at him and his pack, I could hardly blame him for his reaction when I’d suddenly blasted Olivia with a power none of the wolves had known I had. Of course he’d been scared, maybe just not of me. And he had come looking for me afterward…
I shook my head, tearing my eyes away from the door. “I don’t know,” I muttered, only half lying. I thought I had an idea what it was about, and I knew where Spencer was going.
I had to talk to him. I looked at Dominic, who was watching me with uncertainty. If I ran after Spencer, he might get the wrong idea. I had said that Spencer’s being there wasn’t what it looked like, but I didn’t think Dominic entirely believed me, despite his joking. There was just something in the way he’d spoken to Spencer that made me think there was something going on between them that I didn’t know about…but I may have been the cause of it.
Discomfited by the thought that I might have been the cause of discord between Spencer and his half-brother, one of the very few people Spencer did not seem to hold in contempt, I turned to Dominic.“I should go after him. Find out what’s wrong.”
He frowned, displeased by the idea. “I’m sure he’s just being Spencer. Moody and dark, as always. He’ll be fine.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know…maybe I should just check and make sure. I kind of owe it to him, at least to check, after last night.” I didn’t wait for Dominic to reply. I turned and rushed down the hallway and into my room. Hastily, I yanked off my nightshirt and shorts, replaced them with jeans and a t-shirt, and returned to the main of the cabin.
Dominic was still standing by the table, scowling. I grabbed my trainers from where I’d left them by the door, tugging them on and lacing them up clumsily. I bounced to my feet, only to find Dominic was standing over me, curls shadowing his eyes. I hadn’t even seen or heard him move. I gasped, startled, and he half-smiled.
The smile died a second later, and he asked, “How do you even know where he’ll be? He could be anywhere by now if he’s in wolf form. He’s got a five minute head start.”
I just smiled, shrugging. “I’ll find him.”
“But—”
“Just trust me, Dominic. I’ll find him. But later, you and I are going to hang out, right?” I bounced from foot to foot impatiently, and he nodded slowly. “Good,” I said, “‘Cause you still have to beat me at checkers.”
At that, he grinned reluctantly, and I leaned forward, placing a swift, chaste kiss on his cheek. Then I was out the door and racing down the steps, knowing exactly where Spencer would be, but not knowing exactly what I would say to him. I’d figure it out when I found him. Hopefully.
Chapter Seventeen
** Tilly **
Just as I’d expected, I found Spencer by the stream. Only, this time, he was on the other side of it, doing press-ups with his feet propped on a boulder. He’d obviously gone to his cabin to get dressed before going there, and his t-shirt hung loose, showing the flat hardness of his stomach. His biceps bulged with every press-up, and I was quite impressed by the ease and speed with which he did them. I watched for a moment, fascinated, and then I cleared my head and called over to him.
He didn’t look up, but he stopped his press-ups and rolled over, kicking his feet off the boulder and lying with his arms spread on the grass. His chest rose and fell quickly, and his hair swept carelessly across his forehead until he ran a hand through it, tousling it.
“You know you’re better than him, right?” Spencer said from across the stream, still without looking at me. He was looking up at the sky, his expression hard, and when I didn’t answer, he turned his head, gazing across the water at me expectantly.
Startled, I didn’t know what to say. “I…”
He made an impatient noise and rolled over again, pushing himself to his feet. Effortlessly, he leapt across the stream in one fluid motion and landed right next to me, close enough that I stumbled back in surprise.
He tilted his head, eyes fierce on mine. “You’re better than him, Tilly. You deserve better than someone who’s afraid of you–”
“You said he wasn’t afraid,” I said, confused.
Spencer laughed, a harsh sound more of contempt than humour. “He wasn’t afraid then, with me there. He was too busy focussing on his jealousy. He wanted to prove a point to me, one up me, by having you forgive him in front of me. He’s pathetic.”
I shoved him. Impulsively, I slapped my hands against his
chest and pushed him. He barely stumbled, and even then I think he only stumbled because I’d caught him off guard. I glowered up at him, and he blinked.
“Don’t talk about Dominic that way! He isn’t pathetic! How can you say that? He’s your brother; I thought you two got along.”
“Half-brother,” Spencer corrected tightly, his eyes narrowing. “And we did get along. Until he figured out that I like you as well, and he tried to make a deal with me to… never mind. It’s not like he would understand how I feel about you anyway. He probably doesn’t think I’m even capable of loving someone, let alone that I could love you like I do, but—”
My lips parted. He was still talking, looking darker by the moment, but I wasn’t really listening. Did he just say what I think he said? I stared at him, unsure what expression was on my face. Let alone that I could love you like I do…Yeah, he’d said what I thought he’d said. For some reason, it surprised me. It probably shouldn’t have, after everything—him saving my life, me saving his life, our quiet meetings by the stream in the middle of the night, him spending the night in my bed. That one made me blush, though I knew nothing had happened. Still. He’d been in my bed.
No, the fact that he liked me, the same way Dominic liked me, hadn’t surprised me at all. The fact that he loved me, though…that surprised me. Maybe it was just because he was Spencer, dark, quiet, and detached, and I didn’t really expect him to feel that way about anyone. Or maybe it was just hearing him say that he loved me that surprised me. Or maybe it was the realisation that I’d begun to possibly love him, too. Whatever the reason, I was surprised, and it must have shown on my face, because Spencer stopped talking abruptly and frowned at me with concern.
“Tilly?” He eyed me warily.
I tilted my head quizzically, the way I’d seen him do so many times. “You l-love me?” my voice was soft and shy.