by H G Lynch
I settled down between two thick roots, curling my back against the tree, and Dominic sat next to me, perching on a root. In my sleepy spot at the base of the old oak, with Dominic watching out, I finally relaxed. I shut my eyes, leaning my head back against the bark. The energy of the woods around me flooded in, welcoming me back like an old friend. It sparkled, flowed through my veins, and under my skin, revitalising me and sweeping away my worries. I let it soothe me, letting go of myself bit-by-bit, until all I could hear and feel was the trees, birds, and flowers.
I was startled awake by the sound of a crow cawing close above me. In a panic, unsure where I was or what I was doing there, I jerked upright, looking around. Slowly, I recognised my surroundings, and remembered why I was there. Beside me, Dominic was grinning at me, his chestnut curls bouncing carelessly into his sparkly green eyes.
“Hello there, Sleeping Beauty. Did you have a nice nap?” he teased.
I rubbed my eyes, pulling myself into a less tangled position in the nook of the tree roots. I really hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but I did feel a great deal better, refreshed and energised. My head felt clearer, though my heart was still confused. The way Dominic was smiling at me really wasn’t helping that.
Stretching my sore spine, I decided the moss wasn’t as soft as I’d thought before. “Mh, were you watching me sleep?” I mumbled, suddenly worried I’d been drooling. I swept a hand across my chin, but it was dry.
With a chuckle, Dominic shook his head. He rose to his feet easily and stretched too, raising his arms over his head. Then he shook out his curls like a dog shaking out its coat. “No, I didn’t watch you sleep. I’ve kept occupied with other things.” He shrugged.
“Like what?” I asked curiously, trying to get my numb legs under me.
He reached out, and I took his hands, letting him haul me to my feet. I stumbled, and he steadied me with a hand on my elbow.
“Okay?” he asked, and I nodded. He grinned again. “Well, I’ve been busy with various things. I spent a while trying to catch a butterfly with my hands, I annoyed a caterpillar that decided to crawl on my leg, I Changed back and forth a few times chasing rabbits…oh, and I tried to make one of those daisy chain things you were wearing yesterday. I failed miserably. I couldn’t work out how you make the daises stay together.” He shook his head, scowling.
I laughed. “That’s because the art of daisy chain making is a secret for females only,” I joked, smiling.
He laughed, his dimple flickering. Then something in his eyes changed, and he took a half step closer to me, his fingers still resting on my elbow. I blinked, noticing the shift, and knowing what it meant. Cautiously, I bit my lip, my head suddenly spinning again. My heart gave a dull thud-thump, turning over slowly as if time had slowed down. Dominic leaned over me, bending his head so his curls brushed my face. His lids half-lowered, I could tell he was looking at my lips. His fingers grasped my elbow more firmly, his other hand coming up to stroke my cheek.
I had a moment of panic as he lowered his head to brush his mouth over mine. Something in the back of my mind rebelled, telling me it was wrong, and another part whispered that it was right, and that Dominic was what I needed. Sweet, kind, uncomplicated Dominic. In my already strange and dangerous life, wasn’t that what I really wanted? Someone who would be gentle with me, who didn’t make me nervous as much as he intrigued me, who would always be there when I needed him?
I realised then that yes, that was what I wanted. That was what I needed, from a friend, not from a boyfriend. That sense of comfort I got from Dominic wasn’t anything more than friendship. The butterflies I got when he kissed me weren’t a sign of desire, but of nervousness, because some part of me understood it wasn’t him I wanted to be kissing. I did love Dominic, just not the same way I loved Spencer. I loved Dom as a friend, someone who’d been nothing but good to me since I had been brought into the midst of the pack.
It was a realisation that arrived too late.
Dominic bowed his head to mine and covered my mouth with his before I could protest, his lips confident and sure—and why not? After the way I’d kissed him the day before, he had every reason to believe I wanted him. His mouth pressed on mine, pulling my lips apart, and his fingers curled around the back of my neck. He tugged me closer, and I stood unresisting, unable to push him away for fear of hurting him, but unable to kiss him back. I waited for him to realise I wasn’t returning the kiss, and to notice that I didn’t smell of desire any more than the trees around us did.
Abruptly, his mouth stilled on mine, and his fingers tightened on my elbow. Feeling my eyes burn behind my closed lids, I willed him not to hate me for not wanting him. I prayed he would understand, that he would still be my friend, even after I’d led him on. Surely he would understand I’d been confused and uncertain, and I hadn’t meant to hurt him. Surely—
What he whispered against my lips was not what I’d expected. “He’s watching us,” he murmured, still holding me close.
I froze as dread knotted sickly in my stomach. I didn’t need to look to know who he meant, didn’t need to open my eyes to feel the piercing gaze burning holes in my spine. I took an unsteady breath and pried my eyes open. Dominic lifted his head, glaring over my shoulder. His hands were still on me. With my throat constricting, I pulled out of Dominic’s grasp and spun.
A spear of pain and horror shot through my heart at the sight of Spencer. He stood not ten feet away, indeed watching us. His glare, resting on Dominic, could have cut steel, and there was a faint rumbling working its way up from his chest. I put my hand over my mouth as if to erase the taste of Dominic’s lips on mine, and the movement drew Spencer’s glare to me.
I flinched back under that powerful glower, and just for a second, I saw the flicker of both understanding and betrayal in his eyes. He knew why I hadn’t been able to tell him I loved him. With tears in my eyes, I wanted to explain to him what I’d just figured out, that I didn’t want Dominic at all.
He’d already returned his glower to Dominic, and his lips peeled back from inhumanly long teeth. I gasped, afraid, and heard the popping of his knuckles as his nails grew into deadly claws. Behind me, there was more cracking, and I spun around to see Dominic raising hands that didn’t quite look like hands, tipped with claws like Spencer’s. His nose was scrunched up, his jaw shifting, chest puffing out. Panicked, I realised there was going to be a real fight, and there was nobody else around to stop it.
Without time to think, and unsure what else to do, I jumped between the two shuddering, snarling werewolves and held my hands out. I swung my gaze from one of them to the other as their attention fixed on me and their growls dimmed. “Stop it! Both of you, stop it! This is stupid, you hear me? It’s ridiculous! You both need to back the hell off!” I yelled, my heart thrumming so fast, I couldn’t tell one beat from the next.
For a moment, I saw surprise cross Dominic’s face, and a note of something like respect flash across Spencer’s, and I thought I might have gotten through to them. Then Dominic’s expression twisted, and he made a move as if to lunge for Spencer. Instinctively, I threw myself backward, wrapping my arms around Spencer protectively. Spencer tensed all over, as if I’d shot him, and then relaxed slightly, putting his hand on my back. I heard a small, choked noise from behind me, and glanced around. Dominic stood there with hurt and anger all over his face, and I realised what I’d just done.
Pulling myself away from Spencer, I frowned, reaching out. “Dom, please…”
He turned his head away. “Don’t,” he snapped. He cast Spencer a hostile glare and his lip curled. His eyes fixed on me again, colder and darker than I’d never seen them. “I see what’s going on here. It’s him. All this time you’ve just been playing me, haven’t you? Acting like my friend, acting like you wanted more ,and all the while, you’ve been screwing my half-brother behind my back.”
“Dominic, no, it isn’t like—”
“It isn’t like that?” he barked, “Then how is it? And what was
that little act about yesterday, huh? You had a fight with your boyfriend, so you kissed me to, what, make him jealous?”
“No, that’s not—”
“Then tell me how it is, Tilly!” He spun on me, pressing so close we were nose-to-nose. His eyes were blaring the gold-green of his wolf, roiling with anger and hurt.
I whimpered in fright, and the gold in his eyes dimmed. He stepped back with a sigh.
“Tell me how it is, because I honestly don’t know anymore. Did you feel anything for me at all? Anything other than friendship?” he spat the word like a curse.
I felt my eyes prickle and bowed my head. “I…I thought I did,” I said carefully.
He made a strangled sound, and I looked up in time to see a bitter smile cross his lips. It looked unnatural on his normally cheery face. He started to turn away to leave, and I caught his arm. He tried to shake me off, but I tightened my grip.
“Dominic, no. You’re going anywhere until I explain. I need both of you to understand. I need you to know why I acted the way I did.”
He paused, considering. I chewed my lip, waiting. Then he sighed again, shoulders slumping, and I cautiously let go of his arm. He turned back, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. Instead, he stared at the ground, shoving his hands into his pockets. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them back.
“Dominic, I wasn’t just toying with you, I swear. I was just…confused. I-I’ve never been around guys much, I’ve never even had a boyfriend before. I was brought up apart from that sort of thing. I thought what I was feeling toward you was more than friendship. I thought that…I mean, it’s just that I knew you liked me like that, and I guess I let the attention get to me.” I shook my head, pausing so my voice wouldn’t crack.
He stood there, still as stone, and just as expressionless.
Quietly, I went on. “It wasn’t until the other day, when Spencer kissed me, that I realised how I felt about him. I guess it had just sort been creeping up on me, and then…I was already so sure I wanted you too. I didn’t want to hurt you.” Even to my own ears, it sounded like the most pathetic excuse. I didn’t want to hurt you. But that was exactly what I’d done, and I couldn’t undo it.
For a second, Dominic was silent. I couldn’t see his expression because he’d bowed his head and his curls were shadowing his face. Softly he said, “What about yesterday?”
I opened my mouth to explain, and couldn’t. I tried anyway, because he deserved some sort of an answer. “Yesterday…yesterday was…” I just couldn’t think of the words. How could I possibly explain that I’d kissed him on some sort of vicious impulse to push away the pain of Spencer telling me he didn’t love me? At the time, I’d thought he meant it, and it hurt like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
Desperately, I looked to Spencer. He was scowling, but when he noticed me looking at him, his expression softened. He sighed almost inaudibly. Then he stepped forward, and said, “Yesterday, I told Tilly I didn’t love her. I told her I’d only been being nice to her, acting like I liked her, so I could get…s-something from her…” I noticed the way he stumbled over his words for a moment, the flash of shame in his eyes. “I hurt her. And she went to you, Dominic, because you’re her best friend. Whether you like that title or not, that’s what you are. Tilly went to you when she needed comforting. If I were you, I wouldn’t take that lightly.”
He glanced to me, eyes catching mine and lingering for a moment. “Even if Tilly didn’t feel about me the way I feel about her, I’d be pretty lucky just to be her friend.”
I smiled shyly, and Spencer smiled gingerly back.
Dominic was silent as the grave. In fact, he was so quiet for so long that I started to think he wasn’t ever going to talk to me or Spencer again. Then he lifted his head, and his expression was not what I had expected. There was no anger or disgust on his face. Hurt? Yes, there was that. Disappointment? That, too. But there was also understanding, and most importantly, forgiveness. The sight of that forgiveness in his eyes made my knees weak and my lips tremble.
He only looked at me for a moment before moving his gaze over my shoulder to Spencer. His eyes narrowed, thoughts flickering behind his green irises. But all he said was, “You love her?” There was nothing accusing in his voice, just a question tinted with surprise.
I swallowed and turned, glancing at Spencer. He didn’t look at me, his eyes held steady on his half-brother, but he knew I was watching him. He nodded slowly.
“Yes,” he said.
To my surprise, his voice wasn’t as steady as his gaze.
“I love her, Dominic.”
The raw honesty in his face made me look away, even as my heart fluttered.
Dominic simply nodded. He turned his curious gaze to me. “Do you love him?”
My heart lurched into my throat, and I looked down at my feet. I could feel Spencer’s gaze burning hot into the side of my head. Dominic had asked the question Spencer most wanted answered, the one I hadn’t been able to answer before. Choking on the words, I nodded. I didn’t have the courage to say the words aloud, but the nod was admission enough. Beside me, Spencer drew in a sharp breath.
“So,” Dominic said.
I looked up at him. He looked confused, his eyes on Spencer again.
“So why would you lie to her? Why would you tell her that bull yesterday and hurt her? You don’t lie, Spence. You work around the truth sometimes, but you rarely outright lie.”
That time, Spencer was the one who didn’t seem to know how to explain. He shifted his feet, a line forming between his eyebrows.
I answered for him, “He was trying to protect me. He thought it would be easier on me if he…broke up with me sooner rather than later.” I hesitated over the term because, well, it wasn’t like we’d officially been going out in order to officially break up.
Dominic’s brow creased. “But why would he have to…” He paused, his eyes widening and swinging back to Spencer. “Oh. The pack joining ceremony. Dad chose you?”
Spencer didn’t say anything, but the look on his face was enough to give Dom his answer. Dominic grimaced, reaching up to tug on a handful of his curls. “Damn, Spencer. I’m sorry. I knew about the ceremony, but I figured it was such an old rule, dad wouldn’t bother using it. That’s…” Dominic shook his head, sympathy written in stark lines on his young face.
With a brutally blank expression, which I had learned was his shield to keep people from seeing what he didn’t want them to see, Spencer said, “Of course he’s using the rule. Frank loves his bloody rules too much. He chose me to make a point…and then ordered me to go through with it, for the good of the pack, when I refused. He ordered me, Dominic.” Spencer’s voice was hard and cold as steel.
I saw shock softening Dominic’s expression. Whatever anger and jealousy he may have harboured toward his half-brother over me was already being forgotten, pushed aside. I was glad, so glad, that Dominic was as kind-hearted and forgiving as he was. Otherwise, I’d have lost him, and I wasn’t sure I could have let go of my best friend.
“God, I can’t believe he’d do that to you, Spence! But…you can’t go through with it!” Dominic yanked on his curls, his eyebrows shooting up.
Darting a glance at me, Spencer’s expression turned wry. “Obviously.”
Dom’s eyebrows pushed back down over his eyes, his grimace so deep it made his dimple scowl. “So what are you going to do?”
Spencer shrugged. “Fight it. If I can.”
“But it’s an order from the alpha. You can’t fight it,” Dominic pointed out.
A dark smile spread across Spencer’s mouth, and a flicker of something dangerous flashed in his eyes. “Being on the edge of the pack has its benefits. I’ve fought commands before and broken them. I can certainly try with this one. It’ll just be a bit tougher.”
Dominic smiled knowingly at his half-brother. “Uh-oh. He’s got that look again,” he muttered, and slid his gaze to me, stage whispering, “Never tell Spencer he can’t do something. It
never goes down well. He takes it as a challenge every time.” He shook his head, and I laughed.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, grinning.
Suddenly, Spencer was right behind me, his breath hot on my neck as he murmured in my ear in a suggestive tone, “You can challenge me any time.”
I swallowed as heat flooded my face.
Dominic snorted. “Yeaaah…I’m going to take that as my cue to leave.” He turned on his heel, and flashing me an uncertain smile, strode off into the trees, leaving me and Spencer alone.
We stood for a long moment in silence, me staring at the ground while Spencer stared at me. Then he said, “I think we need to talk.” I nodded and he paused. “But it can wait a while,” he added in a whisper, lifting his hand to cup the back of my neck and bringing his mouth down on mine.
Chapter Twenty Five
** Tilly **
The minute we got back to the cabins, we were attacked. Not by the witches or hunters, but by Frank. He was waiting outside Spencer’s cabin, with Dominic lingering nearby, looking concerned and agitated. As soon as we came into his view, Frank exploded into a fit of rage, most of which was directed at Spencer.
He stormed forward and grabbed Spencer by the back of his collar, and growled, “You! You punk ass little runt! What do you think you’re doing?”
Startled and a little scared by the man’s outburst, I stumbled backward into Dominic, who steadied me absently as he rushed toward his father and half-brother.
“Dad! What are you doing!?” he cried, looking shocked.
Spencer, though, didn’t look shocked in the least. He stood in the alpha’s grasp and stared back into those steely, angry grey eyes with obvious loathing and contempt. It was easy to believe, right then, that Spencer truly hated his father. I found I couldn’t blame him in the least. The man might have been a powerful werewolf, but that wasn’t what made him a monster; treating his son the way he treated Spencer did.