by Steven Banks
Annie cleared her throat. “Our costumes are protected under the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America. Freedom of speech.”
Principal Gonzales sighed. “Annie, the First Amendment does not say you can bring a harpoon to school or have a bloody bandage or dress like a Vam-Wolf-Zom.”
“Oh, really?” she said as she pulled out a piece of paper, unfolded it, and started reading out loud. “U.S. Court of Appeals, 1993. A public school is bound by the First Amendment, that promises free expression. Halloween costumes are a form of protected expression. You cannot be investigated or punished for your choice of costume, even if it offends someone else.”
I didn’t understand everything she said, but it sounded like we might get to keep our stuff and maybe I could still win the contest, which is all I really cared about.
“All right,” said Mr. Gonzales. “You may stay the way you are.”
“Yes!” said Annie as she pumped her fist in the air.
“But you have to remain in the detention room today. And you can’t be in the contest.”
* * *
Everyone did what Principal Gonzales had asked us to do. Except Annie, who wouldn’t give up her harpoon. She stormed out all mad and went to the detention room for the whole day.
Without my bloody bandage and pipe I just looked like a guy with a red beard in a green jacket, so I didn’t even enter the contest.
Dog Hots got first place for his Frankenstein’s monster costume.
A girl named Saria Schnell who dressed as a mouse in a mousetrap (she reminded me of Terrence) got second place.
Zeke won third place for his Randee Rabbit costume. It turned out that Mr. Prady, one of the judges, was a big fan of Rabbit Attack!
Life is completely unfair.
* * *
On the bus ride home from school, I sat with Zeke, who was holding his trophy.
“T-Man, I bet you would’ve won this if they’d let you wear your whole costume.”
I shrugged.
Zeke put his trophy in his backpack.
Annie turned around in the seat in front of us and said, “Do you have another costume for the dance tonight, Tom?”
“Not really…. I may not go.”
I was feeling sorry for myself, but I sort of liked feeling that way. It’s weird how sometimes it feels good to feel bad. Still, you shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself for too long because you might miss out on stuff.
“I guess I could wear my old Hermione Granger costume from last year,” said Annie.
I remembered that costume. She looked really good in it, except now her hair was short, so she wouldn’t look like Hermione. She probably wouldn’t buy a wig just for the dance. I would. It bugs me when people don’t have the right hair.
“I guess maybe I could find another costume,” I said.
Annie got off the bus at her stop. “I hope I see you tonight. Maybe we can dance if the DJ plays a good song.”
I couldn’t believe it.
Annie Barstow wanted to dance with me tonight.
I had to learn how to dance.
In two and a half hours.
36.
Dance Lesson
When they had dances at my old school, most kids didn’t actually dance. They just moved back and forth and waved their arms around. Zeke, of course, went crazy. Sometimes teachers had to ask him to calm down because he got so wild. The two best dancers at our school were Matt Kent and Renee Jaworski, but they were showoffs. I guess if I was that good I would show off too. Tanner Gantt never goes to dances.
I decided to do some research, so I looked at some videos of middle-school dances on YouTube to see what they were like. Groups of girls danced in big circles with one another. Practically all the boys stood in groups, but they didn’t dance. Some leaned against a wall and watched. A couple of boys did some break-dance moves. Some boys and girls danced together in groups, and a few actually danced together as couples, but they looked like older kids.
I wanted to ask Mom for a quick dance lesson, but she wasn’t home. Emma and Carrot Boy were sitting on the sofa in the living room, pretending to do homework. Emma was the last person in the world I wanted to ask, but like Ben Franklin said, “There are no gains, without pains.” And I was desperate.
“Hey, Emma, there’s a dance tonight at my school. Can you show me how to not look like an idiot?”
She smiled, sat up, and clapped her hands together.
“Oh, yes! I would love to teach you how to dance! There is nothing in the world I would rather do…NOT!”
“Oh, come on, please!”
“I’ll teach you how to dance, dude,” said Carrot Boy.
Emma freaked. “What? No, will you not.”
“C’mon, Emmers, you don’t want your brother to be a total doofus out there.” He got up off the couch. “I got some sweet moves for you.” He played some music on his phone. Then he started dancing.
I had always thought that Zeke was the worst dancer in the world. But Carrot Boy made Zeke look like Matt Kent. I wanted to laugh so bad, but I knew if I did, Emma would kill me. I took a quick glance over at her. I could tell she thought he was pretty bad too.
“Move your arms like this!” he said. “Turn!…Spin!…Jump!…Yeah!…Work it, work it!”
Emma quietly went to the window and closed the drapes, so nobody could see in from the outside. Carrot Boy was too into his dancing to notice.
“I made this move up! It’s original! Nobody does this!”
Nobody does it, for good reason. He looked ridiculous. He was moving his arms and hands like he was strangling somebody and had to go to the bathroom at the same time.
“I call that The Lucas Lockdown! It is seriously hard to do.”
He stopped and sat down on the sofa. He was sweaty and out of breath.
“So, dude…just do some of those moves…and you’re good.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll remember everything you did.”
I still had to get someone to teach me how to dance and there wasn’t much time.
* * *
Since Mom was at the post office mailing packages, I had to ask Dad. I’ve seen him dance with my mom, and he doesn’t look too embarrassing.
“Dad? There’s a dance tonight and there’s this girl…. Can you teach me how to dance in, like, fifteen minutes?”
“Yes sir, I can.”
We went up to my room, and I locked the door so Emma wouldn’t come in.
“Okay,” said Dad seriously. “This may be one of the most important things I ever teach you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ninety percent of guys don’t know how to dance and they don’t want to know and they never learn. And you know what? They’re idiots. Don’t be the guy leaning up against the wall, trying to be cool, who never dances. He’s missing out. You’ll have a lot more fun. You don’t have to be great; you just need a few moves. Put on some music.”
I played a song and he showed me some simple stuff to do with my feet, and some arm moves. They weren’t that hard. And they weren’t embarrassing.
“Is there any special girl you want to dance with?” he asked.
“No…. Not really…. I mean, sort of.”
“Does she have a name?”
“Annie Barstow. But don’t tell anybody.”
He raised his right hand. “My lips are sealed. Ask her to dance. You’re only eleven and a half once.”
37.
The Witch Surprise
I was going to dress up as a hippie for the dance, because I had all the stuff, but I was worried that Capri would think I was copying her or people would think we were a couple. Then, Carrot Boy said I could borrow his mummy costume. He’s short, so it wouldn’t be too big on me.
Emma freaked. “Lukey! Don’t le
t Tom wear your costume! You’ve got to wear it tomorrow night for Pari’s Halloween party. Tom’ll dance in it and get it all sweaty. Oh my God, it’ll smell like stinky Tom!”
“Emmers, chill,” said Carrot Boy. “I can wash it if I need to.”
Carrot Boy did the makeup on my face and it looked pretty good. I should have been a mummy for the contest. I might have won something. Why does it seem like you always figure out how to do stuff better after it happens?
Dad dropped Zeke (in his award-winning Randee Rabbit costume) and me off at the dance.
“No leaning against the wall,” said Dad, when we got out of the car. I nodded.
They had a big sign on the door of the gym:
HALLOWEEN DANCE RULES
You must present your ticket or buy one when you arrive.
You must be picked up by an adult at the end of the dance.
You are not allowed to walk home or ride a bike or scooter or broomstick.
If you misbehave, your parent/guardian will be called to pick you up early.
No inappropriate dancing: No moshing, no freaking, no slamming.
Have fun!
Ms. Heckroth, my super-strict Math teacher, was taking tickets at the door. She was dressed up as a witch and her costume was amazing. She had on a long black dress, a tall witch hat, a black cape, and black leather boots. I never thought in a million years she’d dress up as anything, because she’s so serious all the time. It’s weird how Halloween gets people to do things you’d never expect.
“Hi, Ms. Heckroth,” I said as we gave her our tickets. Zeke was standing behind me. I think he was afraid of her.
“Hello, Mr. Marks, I’m sorry I didn’t get to see your Van Gogh costume. I heard it was quite impressive.”
“Your costume is impressive,” I said. “You make an excellent witch.”
I probably shouldn’t have said that.
* * *
They had the lights turned down in the gym, and black and orange balloons everywhere. There were soft drinks and pizza (with no garlic, because of me). I was glad because even though I’d eaten dinner, I knew I’d get zombie-hungry about halfway through the dance.
The different grades stayed in their own areas, clumped together. Hardly any sixth graders were dancing, except for Matt and Renee, who were showing off in the middle of the gym, like I thought they would.
A bunch of boys were leaning up against the wall, trying to be cool. Coach Tinoco was talking to some of them. He was dressed up as a Roman gladiator. I think he wore that so he could show off his muscles. I probably would do that too, if I had muscles like him. It was a good costume, but I wished he’d dressed up as The Hulk. He’d look perfect.
I saw the door to the boys’ locker room open a crack. Somebody peeked out, and then quickly slipped into the gym. They were wearing a “This Is My Costume” T-shirt. Then I smelled Cheetos.
It was Tanner Gantt, sneaking in without paying.
38.
Dance Police
Why was Tanner Gantt here? I couldn’t picture him dancing.
Annie and Capri walked up to us. Capri was in her hippie outfit. Annie was dressed as Hermione and she had a long brown wig on. She looked like the old Annie before she cut her hair over the summer.
“Hey, you bought a wig,” I said.
“Yeah. It bugs me when people don’t have the right hair for their costume.”
Annie was so cool.
“So, do you guys wanna dance?” she asked.
“Excellent!” said Zeke.
“Okay,” said Capri. “We’ll meet you under the basketball hoop, by the DJ, in five minutes.”
They walked off toward the girls’ restroom and I turned to Zeke. “Remember, no crazy dancing. Okay?”
He saluted. “Gotcha, VWZ-Man! I gotta go to the bathroom. My mom told me to drink three glasses of water before I got here, so I don’t get dehydrated.”
He ran off. I headed over toward the basketball hoop and saw Tanner Gantt moshing. He was banging into people, and none of the chaperones noticed. He knocked down a kid dressed up as a French fry, and said, “I’m soooo sorry!” Then he laughed. The kid looked like he was going to cry.
“Hey, you’re not supposed to mosh!” I said.
“Why do you care, Freak Boy?” said Tanner Gantt. “Are you the Dance Police?”
“You can’t knock people down like that.”
He grinned. “Oh, really?” He yelled, “Coach Tinoco!” as he shoved me as hard as he could and then fell on the floor. Coach Tinoco turned just in time to see me bang into Matt and Renee, who both fell down.
“Tom Marks is moshing!” yelled Tanner Gantt, on the floor, pointing at me.
It totally looked like I was moshing.
I tripped over Matt and banged against the DJ’s table. His computer slid off the table and the music stopped.
“You broke my computer!” screamed the DJ.
“I’m sorry!” I pointed at Tanner Gantt. “He pushed me!”
Coach Tinoco came running over, like Hulk on a rampage, but dressed like an angry gladiator guy.
“Marks! What do you think you’re doing?! No moshing! You are going home!”
I tried to explain. “Tanner Gantt pushed me—”
Coach wouldn’t let me finish. “I saw you, Marks!”
“Marks knocked me down!” said Tanner Gantt, who was still on the floor, pretending he was hurt.
“Call someone to come pick you up, Marks,” said Coach Tinoco.
* * *
I wanted to turn into a bat and fly home, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want my parents to know what happened, so I called Emma to come pick me up. She was at a movie with Carrot Boy. She wasn’t exactly thrilled.
“Why’d they kick you out?”
“Some kid said I was moshing, but I wasn’t!”
“Can’t you just walk home?”
“No, Emma. They won’t let me.”
“You have ruined my life, once again. Be outside when we come! We will wait for five seconds and then we will leave.”
* * *
Coach Tinoco walked me outside and made me sit on a bench in the parking lot.
“Stay right here.” He jogged back to the gym. He never walks, he always jogs.
I was wondering how mad Emma was going to be. On a scale of 1 to 10, I figured it would be an 8.
“Hey, mummy.”
I turned around and saw Annie walking toward me.
“Hey.”
She sat down on the bench. “Sorry you got kicked out.”
“I wasn’t moshing. Tanner Gantt pushed me.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
We didn’t say anything for a while. The music came back on inside the gym. The DJ must have fixed his computer. He was playing a song I had practiced dancing to at home with Dad. It reminded me of summer, before I turned into a Vam-Wolf-Zom and everything changed.
“Let’s dance, party people!” yelled the DJ, from inside.
Annie started nodding her head to the beat. “That’s a great song.”
“Yeah. It is.”
“I want to write a song like that, someday.”
“I bet you will.”
“It’s a good song to dance to.”
“Yeah. It is.”
A couple of more seconds went by. I thought about what my dad said.
“You want to dance?” I asked.
Annie looked at me funny. “Right now?
“Yeah.”
“Out here?”
“Yeah.”
Annie smiled. “Sure. Why not? We bought tickets. We should at least be able to dance.”
I stood up and we started dancing. She was a good dancer. I remembered most of the moves Dad taught me. We started lau
ghing because it was pretty ridiculous dancing out in the parking lot.
A pickup truck with some teenagers drove by. One of them leaned out the window and yelled, “Hey, Hermione! I’m gonna tell Ron you’re dancing with a mummy!”
Annie and I cracked up.
The door to the gym opened and the light shined on us. We stopped dancing. Coach Tinoco came out with Tanner Gantt behind him.
Had Coach Tinoco found out that Tanner Gantt had pushed me into those kids?
“Annie, go back into the gym,” said Coach.
She waved to me. “Bye, Tom. Thanks for the dance.”
“Can I go back in, Coach?” I asked.
“No, Marks.”
Tanner Gantt had gotten in trouble for sneaking into the dance without paying. He couldn’t get anyone to pick him up. Coach kept calling and texting his mom, but she didn’t answer.
“Is there someone else I can call?” asked Coach. “Another relative? An adult friend?”
“No,” he said.
Emma and Carrot Boy drove up in his car. She rolled down her window, gave me a dirty look, and said, “Get in.”
“Hey, Coach Tinoco!” said Carrot Boy, leaning across Emma. “Remember me? Lucas Barrington.”
“I remember you very well, Barrington.”
How could you forget someone who looked like a carrot?
Coach pointed at Tanner Gantt. “We can’t reach this boy’s parents. Can you take him home?”
“No, Coach, I can walk home,” said Tanner Gantt.
“You are not walking home,” said Coach.
“We can definitely take him home,” said Carrot Boy.