by Wood, Vivian
“Out,” Cassandra says. “And...Wolf?”
“Yeah?”
“This was perfect.”
It is perfect, on so many levels. How can anyone argue that Emily doesn’t fit in, after this? They can’t. They never will. I hope that gives her a sense that she belongs here at Campbell, and in my life. If that’s all this does—even if this falls apart in the end—then I can die a happy man.
I’m on cloud nine on the way back to Rose House. Once upon a time there was an equivalent celebration for the man doing the pinning but it’s fallen by the wayside, and I’m looking forward to some quiet to come down from the high.
Instead, I find Ellis waiting for me inside the front door.
“We need to talk.”
“I’m headed upstairs.”
He follows me all the way to my room then leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. “You need to stop seeing Emily.”
I laugh out loud. “That’s not going to happen.”
“She’s sticking her nose where it’s not wanted. You’re going to regret this, Wolf. The rest of us might regret it, too.” His face is red, jaw set. “End things before it’s too late.”
“I don’t know what this is about, but it’s already too late.” I do know what it’s about. He doesn’t like that she’s looking into what happened that night. She’s talked about it less since Maddux was released, but if I know Emily—and I’d like to think that I do—she hasn’t given up on it completely. “I pinned her tonight.”
His jaw works. “Wow. And you didn’t think to consult us first? Isn’t that part of our charter?”
I give him a long look, then take the door in my hand. “Good night, Ellis.”
“I hope you can sleep,” he says. “Knowing what you did.”
His words echo in my mind long after he’s gone.
46
Emily
Between studying for finals and having sex with Wolf, the next couple of weeks fly by. I’m stuck with my head in the cloud on one hand and dragging myself to study on the other. I see Wolf all night, every night. Then I spend my days in class or studying in the library, cramming my brain with knowledge.
I’ve started to favor a particular room high up in the library stacks, stuck wayyyyy in a the back. It’s a simple enough space with nothing more than one dark wood table and several overhanging gold lights, it’s walls made of books. It has one big window, overlooking the quad. But I feel comfortable here.
Here and in Wolf’s bed, that is. My own room at Thistle House is all but neglected.
It’s in my study room that Wolf finds me one Friday afternoon. He appears in the doorway, smiling at my intensity while studying. When I look up and notice him, my cheeks color.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says with a grin. “I brought you a late lunch because I’m willing to bet you aren’t eating right, sequestered up here all day.”
My cheeks turn from pink to red. He’s right, of course. I’ve been eating a little bag of gummy worms since this morning. Sliding the bag I’ve been eating out of under my purse, I pull a face.
“It’ll have to be something good,” I warn him.
He laughs, brandishing a white to go box. “It’s from that Middle Eastern place off campus. Hummus, pita, and a big kale salad.”
My stomach rumbles at the very thought. He chuckles and opens the box, setting it in front of me. He offers me a plastic fork and I accept. I look up at him, thankful.
“You seriously didn’t have to do this,” I say, digging in.
“I seriously wanted to.” He pulls up the chair next to me, stealing a piece of pita. “Besides, I had a Skulls meeting at the bar next to it, so… I was pretty much there already.”
My heart does a somersault at the way he’s looking at me right now. I take a bite of the salad, blushing anew. “What did you guys have a meeting about?” I ask after I swallow.
Wolf hesitates for a second, which for some reason makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “The whole society had to have a meeting about Asher.”
My eyes widen. The piece of pita I’m eating almost gets stuck in my throat. “Asher Radcliffe?” As if there could be another.
He smiles humorlessly.
“The one and only.” Then he stands up, clearly trying to avoid the million questions that bubble up to the tip of my tongue. “I guess I had better get back to studying too.”
“Do you?” I say. He leans over, a smile on his lips, and kisses me again.
“I’ll see you tonight?”
“As usual.”
He disappears again, making me frown. I can’t wait for these finals to be over and done with so that I can spend a few uninterrupted days alone with him. I got a summer job on campus so I don't have to go home to Oregon.
I sigh. As I’m looking where he vanished to, I see Alice walk by, her arms loaded down with books.
“Alice!” I yell-whisper.
Alice goes past the doorway, but she hears her name and backs up. When she sees that I’m all alone at a table, she gladly comes into the room, putting down all the books with a thud.
“Thank god you’re here! I was thinking that I would have to go back to Thistle House because there were no seats in the whole entire library.” She sits down, burying her head in her arms.
I smile because I know exactly what she’s feeling. I’m feeling it too. Finals suck.
“Want some hummus?” I ask, sliding the box toward her.
She looks up, brightening a little. “Maybe I do.”
Taking a piece of pita and a dab of hummus, she munches happily.
“You just missed Wolf. He came here with the hummus, I think to make sure I’m still alive.”
Alice laughs. “I’m sure. Where did he get the food, though? I was just at the dining hall and they were serving burgers.”
I roll my eyes. “The Skulls had a meeting off campus. There is a Middle Eastern place right next door.”
She raises a brow. “A meeting at someplace other than their house?”
“Yeah. He said that they had to talk about Asher Radcliffe.”
Now she looks even more curious. Leaning over to get another piece of pita, she slides me a glance. “Did he happen to say anything more specific than that?”
Shaking my head, I pick up a pen from the table in front of me. “No. I would love to know more, though.”
Alice gets a funny look on her face. I seize on the moment. “What?”
She waves a hand in the air. “Nothing. I mean… probably nothing.”
I raise my brows. “Spill.”
She purses her lips. “I just wonder if Wolf was in charge of the meeting. Because… you know…”
“I don’t know. I’m asking you,” I remind her.
“Well… when Asher died, I thought it was because of Mia.”
Frowning, I press further. “Who?”
“Mia Gold. Matthew Gold’s big sister? She was a sophomore last year. Rumor had it that she got involved with Asher, hot and heavy. Then one day, she was just gone from campus.”
Clearing my throat, I lean closer to Alice. “What do you mean, gone?”
“Mmm… well, according to the rumor mill, she and Asher weren’t exactly using safe sex. She got knocked up and cried on the phone about it to her mom. Next thing you know, she’s gone from campus. Studying abroad.” Alice rolls her eyes. “Take from that what you will.”
“And what does Wolf have to do with any of this?”
I can hear the defensiveness start to leak into my voice. Alice’s cheeks go pink.
“Well, Wolf was into Mia. Before you, she was the only girl he was serious about. I mean, so I’ve heard.”
I’m pretty much dumbstruck by this news. I knew there were girls before me but somehow the idea that one particular girl caught and held his attention wounds me to the core. Alice sees my reaction and her eyes widen.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything by telling you.
God, I should stop talking.”
I shake my head, still feeling the cut of her words. “No, it’s not… it’s nothing, really. I asked.”
Alice chews on her lower lip. “Do you mind if I change the subject?”
“Please do.” I stab a forkful of kale, wrinkling my nose.
“Did Wolf mention anything about Dr. Maddux when he was talking about Asher? I was wondering what the police found out about the professor’s involvement.”
“He didn’t say. Though I heard that the police questioned Dr. Maddux and then let him go. I don't know what that says about Dr. Maddux’s guilt or innocence.”
Her brow furrows. Alice and I both jump when her phone starts buzzing. She checks the screen and then excuses herself to take the call.
Pushing myself up from the table, I pace to the window and stare outside. My mind is churning, turning this new bit of information over and over again.
Matthew Gold’s older sister. Wolf’s girlfriend. Both people with a good reason to avenge Mia’s fate by murdering Asher.
The very idea of either Wolf or Matthew hurting someone, even if they hated him… I find that idea unfathomable. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to picture what Mia looked like, or Mia and Wolf kissing. Alice comes back, forcing me to pretend like everything is fine.
But it’s not. Even when I try to go back to studying, the images stay in my mind.
Gathering my stuff and wishing Alice a hasty goodbye, I rush down the library stairs. Maybe when I get out of here, I can clear my head. From the basement level, I take a route that I think of as almost a private exit from the library.
Hardly anyone is ever coming or going from the little hallway that dumps you right out into the back behind the library. I ready my identification card, swiping it on the wall to open the doors automatically. The doors open, but I don't go through. At that moment, I notice that my shoe is untied, so I stop to tie it.
When I bend down and set my stack of books on the floor, there’s a loud crackle. As I look up, trying to determine where that sound came from, I see the air in the doorway seem to shiver. Puzzled, I stare for a second until a few leaves blow in from outside. As soon as the leaves make contact with the metal frame on the bottom of the doorway, there is a loud POP POP POP and a spray of sparks.
I jump back, staring with some horror. It looks like some kind of current is running through the steel plate at the bottom of the doorway. But… why would the door be electric? Isn’t that dangerous?
And why would it be on now?
My gaze slides to my identification badge, still clutched in my hand. Surely my identification didn’t somehow turn on the plate beneath the door… right?
I’m shaking and beginning to sweat. This is getting very weird. Picking up my books, I head the other way, retracing my steps upstairs. I tuck my id inside my purse and head out of the library via the main entrance.
I’ll make a report about the whole situation later. Right now, I need to calm down. I need to see Wolf. Heading to Rose House at a sprint, I hug my books a little closer.
47
Wolf
It’s cold outside, bitter, and all the storm clouds in whole sky have gathered above the Campbell campus. It’s a recipe for sinking into morbid thoughts.
With Emily, it’s impossible.
Things shift and change between us after the pinning ceremony. She spends more and more time in my room at Rose House, or cuddled up next to me on the couch. All of her fretting over Max, and it’s come to nothing. The day after I pinned her he came up to me in the kitchen and shook my hand.
“The best man won, or some bullshit like that,” he said. He’s never been one to hold a grudge, but I can admit to feeling relieved at the gesture. I don’t want divisions at Rose House over women. Ellis seems to have come to a grudging acceptance, too. His nostrils flare whenever he passes by Emily and I in the hall, but he’ll get over it.
Unless...
No.
I’m not going to dwell on it. I’ve made the decision not to dwell on it, and I’m not going to spend any more time thinking about what Ellis has hidden up his sleeve. Maddux’s arrest didn’t change anything about Asher’s case, and until something else is revealed, there’s no point. I’m not a fucking forensics expert. I can’t crack the case. And I’m one semester away from getting out of here and into the real world. That’s what’s in jeopardy now—a life post-Campbell that includes Emily. I have an idea to convince her to finish out college in the city, wherever I end up, and take us both away from this place.
That’s what’s on my mind as I sit at my desk in room, right up to the moment when hurried footsteps sound in the hallway.
“Wolf?”
Emily.
The doorknob turns and the door to my bedroom swings open to reveal her. Her face is chalk white, and all the fantasies about moving to the city fly straight out of my head. I’m on my feet in an instant. “Are you all right? Something happened.”
That much is clear by her expression, but I have no idea what. If Ellis said something to her, then so help me god...
“I was at the library with Alice, one of the other Thistles, you know her—”
“Yes.” I put my hands on her shoulders, willing her to calm down. “Of course I know who Alice is.”
“We were talking, and I got up to leave, and I went a different way.”
Her voice shakes, and she won’t meet my eyes. My blood freezes. “Emily. You can tell me what happened. Anything that happened.”
“No, no, it wasn’t like that.” She sucks in a deep breath. “I went out the back way. Through the basement, and I opened the door and realized that my shoe was untied. I put my books down and something sparked.”
“What?”
“Like the metal plate by the door...it was electrified. If I’d touched it, if I’d stepped on it, I could have been electrocuted.”
“That...doesn’t seem...” I can hardly process what she’s saying. I’ve never heard of an electrified door plate at Campbell College. Why would that exist? “Listen. I’ve been thinking, lately, that maybe next year...”
“Next year? Wolf, this is happening now, and it’s not getting any better. I think someone might be after me because...” She bites her lip.
“Because you’ve been looking into Asher’s death.”
She nods.
“You didn’t give it up, after Maddux.”
“I couldn’t give it up.” Emily swipes off her hat and runs her fingers through her hair. “I’m not in this because of morbid curiosity, or something like that. I wanted to research something relevant to Campbell because...” Her blush spreads like wine across her cheeks. “I’m trying to get a scholarship.”
It wrenches my heart to see her this mortified over something that most people, I’m sure, find completely commonplace. I’ve never once, up to this moment, thought about doing extra work to raise funds for my education. That was always a given. I’ve been so fucking fortunate. I thought I recognized it in myself, but I was blind. Stupidly, crushingly blind.
“My tuition...” She laughs, a sharp ha. “You don’t want to hear about this.”
I put two fingers under her chin and tilt her face toward mine. “I absolutely do want to hear about this.” I want to look into her eyes for the rest of my life. “This isn’t a fling for me, Emily Danes.” The words have been hanging on the tip of my tongue all day. All week. Maybe all year. “I love you. And I want to know everything that’s going on with you.”
Her mouth drops open and tears gather at the corners of her eyes. She raises a knuckle and brushes them away. “You don’t have to—” Emily stops herself, pressing her lips together. “I love you, too.”
The words burn all through me, leaving something precious and new behind.
I kiss her.
I kiss her like I’ve wanted to kiss her since the moment I saw her, and every moment after that, as much as I tried to deny it. As much as I tried to tell myself it was for her own safety,
and mine, and the legacy of Rose House. Emily parts her lips to let me in and I savor her sweetness, the cold winter air still dancing on her tongue.
“Wolf...”
The catch in her voice brings me back to earth, and I settle for wrapping my arms around her and pressing her head into my chest. She’s shaking less now, but still rattling like a leaf on the wind.
“I have to ask you something.” Tension rings like a bell even in her hushed tone.
“Anything.” Truly, anything. If she wants to know how we’ll manage this come the summer, then we can sit down right now and talk about it. If she wants to know how things really are with my parents, then I’ll tell her. Every last detail.
She extricates herself from my arms and steps back so she can see my eyes. “Wolf, did you...did you kill Asher?”
The blood drains from my face, then seems to make its way out of my body and through the floor beneath. “What did you say?”
Her eyes are dark with pain and she blinks them shut before she can bring herself to look at me again. “If you did it, I will never tell a soul.” A single tear escapes and glides silently down her cheek. “I swear. But...please. If it was you, tell me, and—”
“How could you say that?” Tiny crescents of pain in my palms alert me to the fact that I’m clenching both hands into fists, and I release them, but it takes an incredible effort. “He was my best friend. That night—” I grind my teeth so hard they scrape against one another. Emily flinches. “That night was Lemuria. We all went through with the ritual, like every other year.” The wind beneath the oak tree stabs through my cloak, through my clothes, and my knees lock beneath me. It’s like I never left that spot in all this time. I break away from Emily and pace the room, stopping in front of my bed. “After it was done, I came out of the library.”
I see her mouth the word library, but she doesn’t make a sound.
“It took a long time to make it through the maze.” Emily’s eyes go wide. “And I—I’d brought someone with me.” She nods. “I took her back to Thistle, and on the way back through to Rose House I found him.”