“Fuck, obviously I was jealous,” I snapped. “You’re mine. I don’t want to hear you were with someone else.”
“Say it again,” he said, his silky voice wrapped in barbed wire. “Tell me I’m yours.”
“You’re mine,” I growled, clutching at his shoulders, tired of this game. “You’re -”
Before I could say it again, he pushed inside of me, stretching me until I thought I would snap like a rubber band. He was not delicate. He was not gentle. My head hit the back of the wall, and I let out a groan. I wasn’t sure if it was pain that compelled the sound from me, or pleasure. Perhaps it was both.
I wrapped my arms around him and spread my thighs as much as I could while still keeping my ankles locked, my heels pressing into Rumple’s back.
He pulled out and pushed in, in fluid strokes, hard and deep, touching deep inside of me that I couldn’t reach myself. My back kept hitting the wall but I didn’t care. I didn’t care. I scratched at Rumple’s shoulders, mewing and beginning like some pathetic animal. But I didn’t care about that either.
When I felt the buildup start to prickle, my gasps increased, my moans grew louder. “Please,” I said. I didn’t even know what I was asking for. “Please, please.”
“Tell me, darling,” Rumple murmured, mouth on my throat like he was eating from me while simultaneously fucking me. “What is it you want?”
“I want to come,” I managed to get out. “I want to come on your cock.”
Instead of responding, Rumple let out a low moan that surrounded me. It was like his own magic that binded me to him. And when he dipped his head, caught a nipple between his teeth, the tension came to a crescendo before it released.
I started moving, releasing, letting go of it all.
“That’s it, darling,” he said. “Come for me. Oh, fuck, yes. Milk me, darling. Take it all from me.”
And then he was releasing himself deep inside of me, tying the two of us closer together.
When he finally finished, he held me against him for a long, long time. My muscles started to ache, my knees shook, but I didn’t care.
Rumple must have felt it though, because he magicked us into my bed, tucking me in blankets and pulling me close so he could hold me throughout the night. And then slumber came. And so did the nightmares.
5
I dreamt of the party. I dreamt of the rape. But I didn’t get any more answers.
When I woke up, my body was numb. I felt...useless. How was it that I could figure out who raped Ella with the same amount of evidence she had at a party similar to the one I was raped at? How was it that I could figure out the majority of the truth about who Rory Rose’s parents were? How could I find Crim? How could I help Beast? I could do all of that, but for some strange reason, I couldn’t figure out what had happened to me.
I tossed and turned that night. Not even Rumple’s presence beside me was enough to settle me. As much as I loved him, as much as he calmed me and made me feel safe, this was important to me. I couldn’t keep pretending anymore.
I rose early and padded downstairs to make myself something to eat. The only problem was, nothing seemed appetizing, even if my stomach growled like it hadn’t eaten in days. I finally settled on making myself some toast. As I waited for the toaster, I dropped in a dining room chair and tried to figure out the best course of action for me.
The fact of the matter was, I didn’t even know if I wanted to find out who had raped me. Every time I thought about that night, my body was anchored down by a heavy, foggy guilt it was difficult to see through, keeping me trapped there. That was the same night Anna died. The same night Jack and I kissed. The same night Anna saw the kiss and ran, and I had never seen her again after that.
I was ready to throw up, just remembering all of that.
It was why I couldn’t be around Jack for too long. Maybe that was why he had pushed me away all those years ago. Maybe he felt the same. He could go on and on about protecting me, but he didn’t make sense. I could understand why my father might be protecting me, but what could Jack protect me from?
Then again, there was a lot about Jack I didn’t know. He used magic too. He was a White Rabbit, whatever that meant.
I shook my head. This wasn’t about Jack. This was about me, what happened to me. I needed answers even though…
Before I could admit what was keeping me from finding out the truth, the toast popped. My shoulders jumped up and my heart skipped a beat. I had never been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that toast actually scared me.
I shook my head and began to put jam on the bread before I turned my attention to the fresh strawberries. I chopped up those and put them on top of the toast and made my way to the dining table. Plopping into a seat, I began to eat. I was careful not to drop any strawberry onto the floor as I slowly began to chew. I tried not to think about anything, but it was practically impossible.
I kept going back to the dream, back to what happened to me, back to the fact that I didn’t know what happened and who did what. I wanted that knowledge. I wanted to know who violated me in such a way. I wanted to put that bastard away for as long as I possibly could.
Anger spluttered out of me, and suddenly, Peter’s toaster cackled with sparks until the whole thing was consumed by flames.
Fuck.
I tried to put the flames out with my magic - the same thing that caused the fire in the first place - but since that didn’t work, I quickly went to the sink and grabbed a dirty tea cup so I could fill it up and dump tap water over it. There was more cackling but the flames were out.
My heart continued to race, pounding against my chest. It was like it was trying to get out. I sucked in a breath, then another. I had no idea how the magic came out anyway. It wasn’t as though I felt it slide out of me, and I definitely hadn’t aimed it.
I would have to buy Peter a new one. Which was fine. I ran my fingers through my hair, finding it difficult to settle my breathing. I still didn’t understand this magic inside of me, only that it reacted based on what I was feeling in the moment. Clearly, I had unresolved anger when it came to my rape, and that anger manifested into magic - sparks that set that innocent toaster on fire.
I was glad to have the magic, the protection. Magic had saved me and those closest to me on more than one occasion. However, I wished I had the ability to control it.
“What did the toaster ever do to you, darling?”
The corners of my lips twitched up on their own accord. Rumple had a knack for making me smile, even if it was only slightly. His presence made me feel safe, content, like everything in the world was okay even if it was burning to ash.
He walked into the kitchen in nothing more than silky black pajama pants. Flashes of our night before popped into my head, and my cheeks warmed. Not because I was embarrassed but because it felt good. I wanted more of it. I wanted to do it again.
I let my eyes take in his long, lean body, and my cheeks warmed at the sight of him. It was difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that this man, this Imp, was mine. We hadn’t actually discussed the nature of our relationship. We hadn’t talked about whether we were more than just two people who respected each other, who also happened to fuck each other. I didn’t know if he had others he saw, the same as me, but I trusted him. I trusted his desire for me, his loyalty.
And perhaps that was stupid. Perhaps that was naive. Rumple was an Imp. He had a reputation for fucking and leaving. His feelings never got in the way of his desire, and once he had what he wanted, he didn’t need anything else.
But I didn’t care about anything like that. I liked him - loved him, if I was being completely honest with myself. And just because I shouldn’t didn’t mean I didn’t.
“Well?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest and sliding further into the room. There was a grace about him that was difficult to put into words other than the fact that I couldn’t help but stare at him as he moved. I was completely powerless when it came to him. “Are you
going to tell me what’s upset you about the toaster?”
I sighed, glancing back at the metal box. Images of the dream flashed in my mind and I curled my fingers around the edge of the porcelain counter. I wasn’t sure if I was digging my anger into it or if I was holding myself up. Without warning, magic sparked through my fingertips, and the edge I had once been holding onto suddenly crumbled and broke off.
“Ah,” Rumple said, as though that somehow explained everything. “A bad dream, perhaps?”
I set the edge of the counter down and brushed hair out of my face. I didn’t want to talk about the dream, even with Rumple himself. It had nothing to do with trusting him because I trusted him with my life, with my heart. But I didn’t want to think about it because...well, because I was ashamed.
I know it wasn’t my fault. I knew this. If anyone else had been in my place, I would have told them the exact same thing. It would upset me if they did think that what happened to them was something that they caused. But the truth of the matter was, when I let myself think about the rape and what happened, I couldn’t help but think I let it happen to me. I could have prevented it in some way.
I knew I couldn’t. I had either been given traces of some sort of magical chemical used to stun, to disembody the world around me so I wasn’t cognizant of anything at all. I would be too weak to fight back, too delirious to know what was going on. And when it was all over, I wouldn’t remember anything. There wouldn’t be any sort of trace on me either that would provide me evidence, something to show I wasn’t crazy.
The only thing I had had was an ache between my thighs and the gut-feeling that something bad had happened.
“Darling,” Rumple said, striding across the kitchen until he was in front of me. “I will not force you to speak of whatever it is burdening your mind, but please know that I am here for you, should you wish to talk.”
My heart swelled at the sincerity of his words. I wanted to tell him everything. In a sense, I already had. I just didn’t like that it was something I kept coming back to. If it was going to upset me so much, I should do something about it instead of wallowing in my misery.
“This whole thing with Anna and Russell isn’t sitting right with me,” I said.
He flinched. He knew I was lying. He opened his mouth, and I knew what he was going to say before he said them. I put up a hand, closing my eyes. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, as cruel and as cold as it was.
“We both know that isn’t what woke me up,” I said. “We both know I’m diverting the topic to something I can talk about easier. You know why I can’t sleep, but I just...I don’t want to talk about that right now.”
Rumple looked like there was a chance he was going to argue before slowly nodding. Relief filled my body and I had to stop myself from throwing my arms around him and burying my face into his chest. I was just glad he accepted that. I was worried he wouldn’t be able to. I thought he would push. Maybe I needed him to push me at some point.
But not now.
“Darling, there’s something I need to tell you,” Rumple said in a low voice. He kept where he was, looking at me from across the small kitchen. “I must return to the Fae realm momentarily.”
My brows knitted together, and I turned my focus on him rather than the toast that just popped out from the toaster.
“Oh.” Don’t sound disappointed. Don’t let your emotions get the better of you. Don’t do any of that. “Okay.”
“You sound disappointed.” There was a hint of amusement to his tone.
I took a deep breath, unable to believe he could read me so easily. We had only been working together for a month, maybe six weeks. Did he really already know me the way he seemed to? Could he already tell when I lied?
“No need to trouble yourself with concern, darling,” he said breezily. “I shan’t be gone for long. Will you miss me terribly?”
His arrogance snapped me out of my stupor. “Why would you ask me a question like that?” I snapped.
Two arms closed the fridge door before I could grab either of those things, pinning me between them. I turned around, only to come in contact with Rumple’s long, lean torso leaning into mine, eyes heady and dark with primal desire. I swallowed, realizing belatedly just how my mouth both watered and dried at the sight of him. I didn’t understand the contradictions in my body that he caused. Then again, maybe I wasn’t supposed to.
“I want to hear you say it, darling,” he murmured in that deep voice that made goosebumps litter my skin without a touch. “I want to hear you tell me how much you miss me.”
I sucked in a breath. Butterflies started fluttering in my stomach, fat wings causing wind to gust in the hollow of my insides. I had no idea how he had this power over me, how he could render me so completely useless in front of him.
I wanted to bite back a reply. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t miss him, that I wouldn’t. But we both knew it would be a lie, and for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to lie to him.
His lips descended onto my neck, and immediately I tilted my head to the side, giving him more access to my throat. It was like I was some kind of wild animal who had finally succumbed to its predator.
“Tell me,” he murmured, drawing his lips downward.
“I’ll…” I closed my eyes, blowing out a breath. “God…”
“Rumple,” he said. “Rumpelstiltskin. Say my name. Do it. I want to feel the power you have over me.”
I snapped my eyes open. He thought I had power over him? With him pressing into me, with me melting at his feet, how was that even possible?
“Rumpelstilskin,” I whispered.
He claimed my neck with his lips, teasing my skin, marking it.
When he pulled back, I was trembling. I wanted him. Even against Peter’s fridge. On the table. I didn’t care.
“I’ll miss you,” I managed to get out.
Rumple’s eyes softened, and there was something deeper in his eyes than pure passion. It caused my chest to constrict, caused me to look away.
“I’ll miss you too.” He brushed his lips across my temple. “Should you need anything, go to my brother. I don’t trust him, but I know he’ll help you.”
“Don’t call you?” I asked.
“I doubt I’d be able to leave, even if I wanted to,” he said.
At that moment, Peter padded into the kitchen. “What smells like it’s burning?” he asked through slumber.
The toaster!
I scrambled for it, but it was already ruined. I turned, ready to explain, but I only found Peter there. Rumple was already gone.
6
The second Rumple was gone, I shrugged on my jacket and headed to Marooner’s Bay. I didn’t like to think that I was slinking off behind Rumple’s back, but I didn’t want to burden him with my issues. He had clearly been troubled enough by whatever it was that was calling him back to the Fae realm, and the last thing I wanted was to add to his stress.
Still, I couldn’t help but acknowledge that some part of me, however small, felt guilty for not telling him - even if he did suggest I go to Pan for anything I needed assistance with.
I didn’t trust Pan, although, if I was being honest, he didn’t seem to hide who he was. He was exactly who he said he was. He had no reason to hide it anyway. Everyone thought they knew who Pan was as well, though I wasn’t sure if they realized he was Rumple’s brother.
Not that it mattered.
I pulled up to a red light and began to fiddle with the ends of my hair. If I had more sense, I would be afraid of Pan. I wouldn’t risk heading into his territory without some kind of way to protect myself. My magic sparked suddenly, almost as though it wanted to remind me that I did have something deep inside of me I could use to protect myself. And I did. I just didn’t feel comfortable controlling it just yet. Even with MaryBeth’s training, I didn’t feel capable of everything I could do with it.
And against Pan?
There was no way.
I just hope
d Pan wouldn’t do anything to me simply because of what I meant to Rumple. Maybe it was selfish of me to use our relationship to my advantage like that, but it was all I had. And I really did think Pan could help me. Not necessarily because he wanted to, but maybe there was something in it for him.
Marooner’s Bay was closed. It was just after ten in the morning. In fact, I wasn’t even sure if Pan would be here in the first place. Maybe I should have called, but I wasn’t sure Pan’s magic was the same as Rumple’s. If I called him three times, would he come? Did I even have that right? Especially since he hadn’t given me permission to do so.
I took a breath and looked up at the building. The club was small but there was still something about it, even during the day, that was intimidating about it. I wasn’t sure if it was my magic recognizing other magic within it, or if it was something else completely.
I rolled my shoulders back and lifted a loose fist. I tried not to think about Rumple, tried not to think about whether he would approve or not. I knew the tension was palpable between the brothers, though I wasn’t sure why. I knew Rumple was favored but I didn’t think that he had had a good relationship with his parents, so I doubted that being favored actually meant anything special. The fact that Rumple actually left must signify something serious was going on in the Fae realm.
But I couldn’t let myself be distracted by that.
I had my own stuff I needed to focus on.
I forced myself to knock. I didn’t really have a plan of what I would do if he wasn’t there. I guess I would just have to wait until it was night, but if Rumple was back by then…
If Rumple was back, I would ask for his help.
Maybe I should wait for Rumple to come back.
But I had already knocked, and it wasn’t as though I could take that back. Instead, I shifted my weight, waiting. I tilted my head to the side, trying to make out if anyone was coming towards me. But the way the glass reflected in the door, it was too dark to tell. Part of me itched to press my ear against the door and see if I could hear anyone coming, but that might be overdoing it.
The Seeker's Revenge Page 4