Fuck me. How could I have been so horrible to this perfect creature? Because of me,
and my asshole actions, she’s let men use her. She’s let others trod on her and she thinks she deserves it. There’s no way in hell she’ll be able to forgive me. Hell, I can’t forgive me, how can I hope she will. I need to do anything and everything I can to try and help her, to try and make up for my shitty actions. She never deserved that, she never deserved to be treated like that. I need her to know that I’ll do everything in my power to make things right.
When there’s a knock at the door and I hear a man’s voice calling ‘room service,’ I answer, telling him to leave it there. Room service is not important in that moment, nothing is, nothing but Mia.
With tears in my eyes, I pull her against me and hold her for the longest time, trying my best not to cry, but I fail miserably. My guilt is
eating at me, and all I can manage to whisper is, “I’m sorry.” Which in turn causes her to cry even harder.
We hold onto one another, and when we finally run out of tears, Mia pulls away just enough so she can look into my eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” I begin. “I’m so sorry I did that to you. Why didn’t you up and leave me then? You should have. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to you. I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forgive me. I wrecked
us. I was solely to blame, and because of me, you don’t think highly of yourself. You aren’t to blame for anything and I need you to know that you do deserve to be loved. You do deserve to have the world at your feet. I cannot fathom how, or why, you’re even here with me right now. I don’t know why you didn’t just kick me out of the house yesterday and tell me to fuck right off. I don’t deserve to have any attention from you, Mia. I wouldn’t blame you if you told me right now that you never wanted to set your eyes on me again for the rest of your life.”
Mia
Nothing he says will make me change my mind, I don’t deserve anything, or anyone. I work for me, I provide for me, and I’m going
to continue living my life the way I have for so long now because change is difficult for me. I do not like it whatsoever.
“I didn’t tell you all this to make you feel bad, I told you because I needed to get it out. I needed to get it off my chest. I could never hate you, and it isn’t up to you to make me happy. I learnt many years ago that you cannot count on anyone, but yourself. That’s just how it is.”
Cole continued to try and make me feel better over the coming hours, but he didn’t try to have sex with me again. This confused me because he’d told me earlier that he wasn’t going to let me sleep that night, but I guess that getting into the past had shocked him to the core.
Chapter Ten
Mia
The next morning when I wake, I’m wrapped up in Cole’s arms and I’m happy to be there. I know I’m going to have to say goodbye to him soon, and that I had no idea whether there was a chance of a future between us, but I couldn’t jump headfirst into anything.
My soul felt like a weight had been lifted from it by being with him. I’d been keeping my feelings locked inside for so long, and I’d grown so used to the pressure I’d had upon me, but having it gone suddenly was freeing, and it was the first time in a long time that I’d woken up feeling truly rested.
As I turn in Cole’s arms, I see that he’s already awake. “Good morning,” he whispers, giving me a smile.
“Morning,” I return as I reach up and stretch.
“So, are you still planning to go home today?” he questions as he rests his hand on my ribcage.
Letting go of a sigh, I tell him, “Yes, I’m going home today. I need to get out of here, I have grown to hate the city very much. I need to go back to the quiet and beautiful country. I also need to dive back into my
work before I lose my clientele. Fortunately, my clients have been very understanding, but that will only last so long before they need to have their campaigns completed. I do my best work when I’m in my own home, and I really miss my dog.”
“You have a dog?”
“I do. Shrivel Dick is a very big, and very beautiful Husky.”
Cole let’s go of a chuckle. “Your dog’s name is Shrivel Dick?”
“Yup. When he was just a pup he used to shrivel up like a dick in water when I’d scratch his belly, so the joke ended up being his name.” I shrug.
“You will never cease to amaze me.”
“Good. Now, I’m starving. I need to eat before I go anywhere.” Last night I’d only ingested a can of Coke, and I can’t seem to remember the last time I actually ate anything. Shit, I didn’t have a single thing yesterday, that can’t be healthy.
“Let me order you some food,” Cole offers as he presses a kiss to my forehead.
“Okay, while you do that, I’m going to be gross and use your toothbrush.” I chuckle, trying my best to keep the mood light because I can see that Cole, despite his best efforts, is still beating himself up over the discussion that took place last night.
“What’s mine is yours, always.” Cole kisses
me, and if I’d already brushed my teeth, it was a kiss I would have tried to take further, but I’m not going to kill him with my morning breath.
“Thank you.”
As soon as I’ve been to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, I stand at the vanity and stare at my reflection. Last night, after so many years apart, I was intimate with the man I’ve missed for so long. Last night we’d become one, and although I’m desperate to go home so I can enjoy the solitude, I’m also not ready to leave Cole just yet. I want to create memories I can carry with me for the rest of my life.
As I continue to stare at myself, there’s a knock on the door. “Yeah?”
The door opens and Cole pops his head in. “Is everything okay?”
I give him a smile. “I’m fine. I was just wondering whether I should stay for one more day. That is unless you have somewhere you need to be?”
Cole slips in through the door and he’s now wearing a very wide smile. When he’s closed the distance between us, he reaches out and slips his arms around me, pulling me against him. “Even if I did have something to do, I wouldn’t go if it meant you’d stay with
me.”
Grinning, I reach up on my toes and kiss him,
hard, and I don’t stop kissing him. Tugging on his belt of his robe until it’s undone, I move my hands beneath the fabric until my they’re resting on his naked hips, his very muscular hips. As I do, Cole does the same to mine and the robes end up on the floor.
Cole
Gently, I pick Mia up and rest her perfect ass on the vanity in the bathroom.
While I try my best to take things slow, it becomes obvious she doesn’t want me to take my time. Mia grabs my ass, using it to pull me to her, and begins rocking her hips so that my cock is rubbing against her clit.
My lips leave hers and I place a trail of kisses down her neck, licking and sucking on her sweet tasting skin. Suddenly, she reaches down and she takes me in her hand. “Fuck me, your dick is perfect,” she breathes, and I grin.
“It’s all yours,” I whisper in return.
“Lucky me,” she utters as she guides me inside her. I can’t help it and let go of a grunt. It’s a perfect fit, I was made for her and she for me.
Slowly, I move inside her, and as I do, her breath quickens. “Kiss me,” she demands, so I do as I’m told. When I do, she sucks on my
tongue and I can’t get enough of it. No chick other than Mia has ever sucked my tongue, but she also has a way about her. She’s always been able to turn me on without even trying.
When she’s freed my tongue from her lips, I kiss her. I kiss her with force as I speed up my rhythm, moving in and out of her, over and over again. Mia wraps her legs around mine as I continue to fill her, and then her grip on me tightens. “Fuck me harder,” she begs.
Grabbing onto her ass, I begin to thrust harder and faster. When I do, I feel her walls clamp down around
me, she’s about to come, and knowing she is, brings me to the edge so I thrust even harder. “Yes, yes, oh hell, yes,” she moans as her body begins to convulse under my touch and it’s all I need.
My dick explodes inside her, and I keep going because she feels so fucking good wrapped around me. Soon enough though, I slow down and an exhausted Mia rests her forehead on my chest and I kiss her hair.
Desperate to make sure knows she’s wanted, I tell her, “I love you, Mia.” She doesn’t have to answer me, that’s not why I’m saying the words. I just need her to know
I’m not with her just to have my way with her.
Slowly, she raises her head and when her eyes meet mine, I can see that there are
tears in the corners and I begin to panic. “What is it? Are you okay? Shit, what have I done?” Shit, shit, shit!
Mia shakes her head, “You haven’t done anything. I love you, too, Cole. Regardless of the past, I’ve always loved you.”
My heart feels as if it’s about to explode and my muscles relax. She still loves me; she’s always loved me, even after the way I treated her all those years ago.
Cupping her perfect face in my hands, I stare down at her. “I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say those words to me again. Please, Mia, give me another chance to prove you’re all that matters to me. There’s nothing standing in our way, now. We don’t have to hide, and if anyone does have anything negative to say then I’ll be the one to tell them to piss off. No one can stop us.” And no one will.
Mia closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again. “I need time to think about it. I’ll spend today and tonight with you, but then I’ll go home and take some time to figure everything out. I’m not saying no, but I’m also not saying yes either. Can
you please give me the time I need to sort my head out?”
“As much as I don’t want to see you go, I will honour your request. There’s just one thing I will need in return, though.” I kiss her.
“Oh yeah, and what’s that?” she asks, her lips still against mine.
“Please, send me one text each day telling me you’re okay, regardless of your decision. Otherwise, I’ll go out of my mind worrying about you like I have every day for the past six years.”
“That is something I can do. Thank you for understanding.” She then comes back in to kiss me, and as she does there’s a knock at the main door.
“Room service,” I hear a man call.
“Coming.” I chuckle when I realise we’re both still stark naked and that I’m still buried inside her.
When I’ve helped Mia down and our robes were once again in place, I take the cart from the bell boy and I tell Mia to get comfortable on the bed. When she sits down, she crosses her legs under her.
As I lift the cloche, her eyes light up when she sees what I’d ordered for her. “How did you manage to get the kitchen to make Mac and Cheese at breakfast time?”
Chuckling, I pick up the plate along with a fork and I hand it to her. “I told them it was your favourite meal and that we’ve been apart for six years and I was trying to win you back. The girl who took the order melted and assured me she’d make it happen.” I shrug. I’ve got to admit that I’m pretty damn
chuffed with myself.
Taking a bite of her pasta, her eyes close. “Damn, that’s good Mac and Cheese. This definitely gets you some extra brownie points, for sure,” she tells me, her eyes now open and looking right at me.
“I knew it would work,” I tell Mia as I pick up my plate of bacon and scrambled eggs. I then take a seat on the edge of the bed beside her.
“I can’t believe you remembered.”
“Are you kidding? Every time I see a can of Coke, a plate of Mac and Cheese, or those blackcurrant sour chews you love, I think of you. You aren’t easy to forget, baby girl.” I take a mouthful of my breakfast.
“That’s kind of sweet.”
“What can I say, I’ve missed you.”
Chapter Eleven
Mia
For the next twenty-four hours, Cole and I talked, and we talked and talked some more, but in between we did manage to take a few sex breaks, just to keep things interesting. However, the next morning, when I’d showered and dressed, I found myself feeling overwhelmed by knowing I was about to say goodbye to him.
As I sit on the edge of the bed, I try to keep the tears at bay. When I hear Cole come out of the bathroom, I look up at him and do my best to smile. He looks so damn sexy in his black jeans, Element t-shirt, and DC skate shoes. This is the Cole I remember, he hasn’t changed.
Cole kneels before me and rests his hands on my thighs. “What’s the matter?” he asks, clearly concerned about me.
“I’ll be fine. I hate goodbyes, that’s all.” Especially when you have to say goodbye to the man you love, not knowing when you’ll ever have the chance to see him again.
“It’s not goodbye, not this time. I won’t let you disappear from my life again, Mia. These have been the toughest years of my life, not
having you near. My love for you will never fade, ever. You need to remember, that regardless of circumstances, I’ll always be here. No one will get in our way,” he tries to assure me.
“I believe you, I do, but you’ll need to prove yourself to me, Cole. I can’t have my heart broken by you again. I simply wouldn’t be able to function if you did, it was tough enough the last time. I know I haven’t really dealt with it, but I can say that I do feel that by my telling you why I finally left you, it’s taken a huge weight off my mind.” After so long, I feel free and I like it.
“Granted, it was hard to hear your reasons for leaving, and I don’t blame you for doing so, but I have a second chance now, I won’t screw it up. I will show you that I’m trustworthy. That’s my mission now.” Cole pushes himself up on his knees and he presses his lips to mine.
“I really hope so. As much as I’d love to stay here with you now, I really do need to get on the road. I have so much work to do and I also need to see my dog. He doesn’t like it when I’m gone too long.”
“Fair enough. I’ll walk you to your car. I had my assistant Sara bring it over. She left the keys with the front desk,” he whispers as he kisses me again.
“Thank you for arranging that. I guess I should get going,” I breathe the words as I
wrap my arms around his neck.
Cole hugs me in return and plants a kiss on my neck. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was trying to distract me, hoping I’d forget about my need to head home.
Cole kisses me one last time before he stands and holds his hand out for me to take, so I do.
After I pick up my bag, hand in hand, Cole leads me downstairs where we collected my keys from the front desk, and make our way to the undercover parking lot.
As soon as we reach my car, I throw my bag onto the passenger seat and as I stand by the open driver’s side door, I turn to face a downcast Cole.
“Call me as soon as you get home so I know you’ve arrived safely?”
Giving him a genuine smile, I lean in to hug him, and as he embraces me, his grip tightens. “I will,” I answer.
Cole takes a deep breath before letting me go. “I love you, Mia. Please don’t disappear from my life again,” his voice is merely a whisper. He sounds utterly terrified.
While staying in his arms, I pull back just enough so I can look into his deep brown
eyes. “I’m not going to disappear. I promise you, I will not run. Okay?” Slowly, he nods. “Good. I need to go, but I will talk to you in a couple of hours.”
“Yes, you will. I love you, Mia.”
“I love you, too,” I assure him as I give him one last kiss.
Pulling out of the warmth of his loving arms, I slip in behind the wheel and Cole closes the door for me.
Turning the key, the car rumbles to life, and I hit the button to wind down the window. “Talk soon… bye Cole.” I smile.
“Bye Mia.” He smiles in return and I put the car in
to gear and drive away. As I do, I see Cole through the rear view mirror as he watches me leave, and I keep looking at him until I turn the corner and he leaves my view.
Cole
Watching her drive away, ripped me to pieces. Yes, I knew she was going to call me in a couple of hours, but I already missed her like crazy. I wasn’t going to be able to focus on anything until she called to tell me she was safe.
Mia
When I arrive at my cabin almost three hours later, I’m overjoyed to see that my father had picked up my dog, Shrivel Dick, and
that my Husky was fast asleep on my porch.
While I was on the road, my father had called to ask if I wanted him to pick my boy up from the kennel so I didn’t have to. It was a relief because I was tired from the long drive. Being the amazing dad he is now days, he even offered to light a fire in my living room to warm the house through, because it can get very cold living up by the lake when dusk settles in.
On the morning of the my mother’s funeral I’d packed my belongings into the boot of my car, because I’d planned on coming home straight after the wake. As I’m pulling out my bright pink suitcase, I hear a four-wheeler approach.
When the case is on the ground and I’ve closed the boot, I turn to see my father racing towards me.
Pulling up beside me, he kills the engine. “What the hell happened to you? The last I heard you were coming home two days ago?” He questions while wearing a smug grin. That grin tells me he already knows the answer, but because he is such an asshat,
he wants the words to leave my mouth.
“You know where I was,” I tell him, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
He puts his hand on his chest and feigns innocence. “Moi, never.” Yes, I’d definitely inherited my sarcastic nature from my father.
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