“You gonna arrest us?” Ashley whispered.
Tolbert smiled for the first time. “No.”
Ashley looked up at him, caught his smile and threw it back. I figured they needed to be alone, and anger grew inside me like an alien, ready to burst out. Not at him. If he wants to be a child molester let him. But before he showed up, for the first time in my life I had felt in control. In charge. This guy Tolbert reminded me that I didn't have that leadership quality. The smarts, yes, but those came with a whole backpack full of 'I don't give a fuck'. I jumped out of the car and headed towards the front entrance of the tunnel.
“Where you going?” Ashley called after me.
“Checkin’ stuff out.” Just needed to get away. Besides, with wonder-boy here they didn’t need me. I could just keep on walking and they’d be fine. I thought about doing just that.
I got to the front entrance and stared out at the landscape flowing downhill away from us. The heat floated up off the road and created wavy images of the parked cars, forever frozen as a mechanical memorial to rush hour.
I sat on the hood of a Dodge Charger, wishing like hell that it worked and that I could just drive off. It’s true, I thought to myself. They don't need me. I’m not a fighter, and this is a fighter’s world now. Ashley’s got the drive - hell, she actually wants to go home - but she’s still a kid, just like Tommy. Those two need each other. Luigi needs an older brother, not a father figure. Tommy’s got that covered, too. And if wasn’t for Tolbert Tommy would be dead. If it wasn’t for me, Marilyn wouldn’t be.
I took off my cross necklace and stared at the ruby-colored skull in the middle. Thought of Marilyn, what I told her about not cutting. I was a fucking hypocrite. And a loser. Barely squeaked by in school despite having to work at failing. Spent the past two years since graduation applying my knowledge to the art of fucking up. Dad always tried to get me a job, sending me to seminars in astrophysics. Trying to turn me into him. And yet, all I really wanted was the freedom to choose my own destiny. Now I have it, and all I’ve done is kill the first girl I really loved.
I slid the knife out. My hand was shaking, and I could feel the tears coming, but that wasn’t allowed. No crying, my dad said after my mom died. Her death was inevitable, he said. We cannot alter the ever-expanding path of the universe.
I drew the blade across my arm, one of the last few areas left open. I’d have to start on my other arm or maybe my chest. I have to admit, that last thought was a little exciting. Something new. A new kind of pain.
The tears dried up and became blood dripping down my arm. The other cut had healed, but was still red. I knew this was stupid – one infection and I’d be done. But being done didn’t seem like such a bad thing.
Tommy came up behind me. “Hey,” he said, startling me out of my stupor. “Get some sleep. We gotta hoof it at nightfall – only a few hours.” I covered up my arm, like a boy getting caught jerking off by his mother.
I sniffed and nodded. My nose was running – did a tear make it out? Or was I catching a cold? My eyes burned – I was too late with the cut. A tear escaped. That won’t happen again.
Tommy turned to go, but not before asking “You ok?” I nodded again, walked back in to where the air was cooler, and found a Ford Pickup to lie in. I climbed in the front seat, looked around, found a pile of clothes in the backseat. I cut off a shirt sleeve and wrapped it around my arm good and tight. Then I leaned the driver’s side seat back, pulled out the book I got from the farmhouse, Kerouac’s On the Road.
I loved the book. I loved the character Dean Moriarity, who seemed to get a thrill at just being alive. Kerouac started his trek west to find Dean, to grab the Holy Grail that Dean held full of life and drink its immortality. I was heading west as well, but not for a holy grail at the end, or some damned key to immortal life. The miles we trekked simply ticked down a countdown to extinction. And the man I sought didn’t live life – he observed it through a telescope in awe and wonder. I traveled west hoping beyond hope that somewhere there existed a small batch of Dean Moriarity elixir, but I couldn’t beat back the roar of knowing that it just didn’t exist.
The throbbing pain in my arm lulled me to sleep.
17.
No dreams. Just someone’s small hand on my shoulder, shaking. “Wake up,” a voice in the distance said. “Wake up!” Harder shaking.
I opened my eyes, tried to gain focus. Ashley looked down at me. She noticed the arm. “Jesus, Adam, again? Really?”
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I could see the entrance to the tunnel, could see the reddish-orange glow coming inside. Nearly dark out. “C’mon, you gotta see this.”
I pulled myself up by the steering wheel, peered over the hood of the car, saw the others standing in front of the tunnel entrance. Tolbert had my backpack next to him. “What’s going on?” I yawned.
“Just look,” Ashley said pulling my hand. I couldn’t read her face – excitement? Panic?
She held my hand the whole time as she ran to the tunnel entrance. I stood next to Tommy and stared.
In front of us was the most brilliant, complex and dangerous looking cloud I’ve ever seen. Tommy spoke: “Remember how you said there were no clouds in the sky?”
This one was the sky. It covered the whole horizon, its white face betraying the storm it was bringing. To us it looked peaceful, soft, like a bunched-up down comforter. Underneath it, to the people in its path, it probably brought a helluva lot of destruction.
I turned to Tolbert: “How long do you think we have?”
“An hour tops,” Tolbert replied. “Hard to say.”
I didn’t want to wait to find out. “Tommy, let's get the horses. Tolbert and Ashley, come along. We may need to move some cars out of the way. Louie, you’re the brainiac. Here.” I handed him my map. “Figure out how far it is to downtown. Time the location of the cloud, see if you can gauge how fast it’s moving. When that thing hits I wanna be in a reinforced steel building.”
“You wanna go downtown?” Ashley asked. “We’re safer right here. I don’t wanna go anywhere.”
I turned and looked at her. “This tunnel is a tinderbox. You saw what happened before when we met Tommy. Who knows what that thing is bringing? If we’re in here and a spark sets off a gas tank, we’re cooked.”
“It’s just rain,” she said.
I turned to look at the cloud. “I don’t think so,” I said.
“But we don’t have to go all the way downtown,” she said, putting her hands on her hips. She wasn’t gonna budge on this.
I looked at the others. “I’m with her,” Louie said, pointing to the tunnel. “That thing scares me.”
I lit a torch, my arm still throbbing and the movement not helping it heal at all. “Fine. We’ll still need to get the horses.”
Tolbert noticed my arm. “You’re hurt,” he said.
“I’m fine.” Torch lit, we hurried down to the other end.
The horses shuffled and whinnied, still tied to the tree. They shook their head, stomped their feet, and in their own way told us to get them the fuck outta there.
We pulled the reins on them; Tommy, Tolbert and I drew them to the tunnel, but they didn't want to move. At least not towards the storm. We had to go single file between the cars, Ashley in front with the torch, yelling directions to us. “More to the right coming up,” or “Hold on, let me find a path.”
Eventually she just stopped. “No path,” she said. “We’re blocked in." I came around her to check it out.
In front of us was a triple head-on collision. Two cars meeting diagonally with a third press up against them in the middle. The cars that did manage to swerve out of the way lined either wall. We must've slipped between them single file, never thinking how the hell we were supposed to get horses through there.
Our faces flickered in the orange light of Ashley’s torch. “What now?" she said.
Tolbert spoke up first. "Leave the horses.”
Louie and Ashley both rejecte
d that idea.
I looked around. The two cars hitting head on must have been cookin' when their engines died and the drivers panicked. The car blocking our path had tried to squeeze between the other two. Which means some asshole must've tried to push his precious little BMW home. I looked around the dimly lit area glowing orange from Ashley’s torch. The Beemer was at an angle – it wasn't moving, backwards or forwards. We'd have to go over the hood.
“No, wait. We can jump it,” I said.
Tommy grabbed my arm. “Dude, no way the horses jump over that in the dark. They’ll throw you like a fly off their tail.”
I flicked his hand off my arm. “You wanna leave them?”
“If we have to,” Tommy said, not moving. “I care more about myself than them.”
“If we leave them we have to walk. If we walk, it takes longer to get to Chicago.” I looked around. Ashley looked the two of us, pleading us not to fight, to figure something out. Tolbert just kept quiet. “There are four horses," I said. "There are four of us. When we get to the end of the tunnel I'll carry Luigi.”
No one moved.
Fuck ‘em.
I dropped my torch, lit another, dropped it, then another, and soon we had a little runway lit on the other side of the Chevy. I took the last torch and carried it with me.
I got on the tall, proud, brown mare, and turned her around down the narrow passage back to the entrance. Soon I heard hooves on concrete behind me. I looked, and there rode the other three. “You’re gonna have to startle them somehow to get them going fast enough,” Tommy said. “They won’t take a jump in the dark in a confined area unless they absolutely have to.”
I looked around, holding my torch high in the dark, night sky. There, off on the shoulder of the road was a brand new 2013 Corvette. Sweet ride. It broke my heart to have to blow it up.
“What’re you doing?” Tolbert asked.
“Startling the horses,” I said as I dismounted next to the 'vette. I popped open the gas tank cover with my knife. I searched the shoulder and the woods that rose above it. Picked up some dry twigs and tinder and started shoving them into the gas tank.
“You can’t do that,” Tolbert said. “That’s private property.”
“Whadda ya gonna do, arrest me?” Tolbert started to get off the horse. “I wouldn’t do that,” I said. “When this thing goes you’ll be left behind.” He readjusted his sniper rifle and stayed on the horse.
“Line up in front of the tunnel,” I said, pointing to the others. “Single file line.”
The car was about fifty feet away from the entrance of the tunnel. I held my torch to the twigs and pine which instantly caught. I shoved the rest of my torch into the top part of the tank and took off towards the mare.
Foot in the stirrup, grab the horn and the hair, just like Tommy showed me. Lifted myself up, Ashley watching the car. “C’mon,” she said. “C’mon, hurry.”
On the horse, I kicked it into top gear. It took off on a full gallop. Never experienced that before. I gripped the horn of the saddle with both hands. She rode with a smooth gallop and I tried to lift myself up. Clench with the knees, Tommy taught us. A hundred yards to go to the Beemer. If the mare wasn’t a jumper she’ll throw me like flies off her tail, Tommy said. Was I going fast enough? Could she even see where she was going?
Metal and fiberglass ripped apart behind me in an eardrum pounding explosion. The mare found another gear and poured it on. The cut on my arm beat out a rhythm that would’ve fit on a techno dance floor. I saw the landing lights ahead. Blocked by the hood of the car. Fifty yards to go.
I wanted to turn around and see if the others rode behind me, if they were all right, but I was too terrified to let go. Twenty-five yards. The landing torches were brighter, still wobbling back and forth as the horse pounded on. The hood of the BMW became clear – and impossible to jump. Too big. Way too big. But the spooked mare ran for her life and I could sense unwillingness, or maybe an inability, to stop.
Ten yards. Traveling at the speed of light. The mare leaped and I instinctively leaned forward.
We were flying.
I thought of my mother, drifting down the side of the cliff, arms spread open wide in acceptance and peace.
No way was I letting go of the saddle horn. I didn’t accept death right now. I had no inner peace.
The horse landed perfectly. I leaned back into an upright position. Pulled on the reigns to stop her. Heard a shout behind me. “Get out of the fucking way!” I turned, and Tommy's horse was hauling ass right towards me, waving his arm like a madman thinking that he could just erase me from his view. I pulled the reins on the mare and pushed her over to the side just as Tommy landed next to me. Not ten seconds later, Tolbert’s smallish gray mare did the same thing. The three of us crowded the landing area; we moved our horses down the tunnel a bit.
No Ashley.
“Ashley!” I called out.
Hooves in the distance. Rapid.
The torch lights lit the tunnel just enough for us to see her face appear. Right behind the car. Right before the jump.
The horse jerked to a stop. Ashley flew off in - I swear to God - slow motion. Her body twisted in midair, then smashed into the rear window of a car halfway through her somersault. The glass shattered as she bounced off of it with an awkward, girlish grunt.
She landed on the pavement floor face first, arm splayed out beside her like a dropped rag doll.
I dropped to her side. Felt for a pulse. Blood dripped from a gash in the back of her head. “Louie – get the bandages. Now!”
Tolbert muscled me aside, saying, “Hang on. Don’t move her.” He felt around her neck and down her backside. He took her shoes and socks off. Ran his finger down the center of her foot. Her foot twitched. Louie returned with the bandages which Tolbert ripped out of his hand.
“We gotta get her to a hospital,” I said.
“Be patient. You move a head victim too soon and you could do more damage. Even paralyze them. First things first. Stop the bleeding. Hold this here.” He put my hand on the bandage. “Apply pressure, but don’t freak out and put your fist through her skull. Gentle, but firm. Got it?”
I nodded. Ashley’s blond hair was streaked with red, her face pointed to the underside of the car. Tolbert stood up, checked the outside area. “Oh shit,” I heard him say.
“What?” I shouted.
“Adam, wrap her head up. She needs to get to a hospital, but that storms gonna block our way real soon.”
I took the strips of bandages and slowly tried to wrap her head, waiting for a snapping sound, like a twig breaking in two. Waiting to kill her accidentally. My hands shook. I needed to focus elsewhere. Where’s the nearest hospital? None of us were from Pittsburgh, how the hell would we know?
“Louie,” I shouted. “Check the map – hospital.”
Louie unfolded the map as I tucked the bandage in, tight but not too tight. A small red dot spread in the middle of the gauze.
“About eight miles away. McGee Women’s Hospital.” Louie said.
“Eight miles. Shit. Tolbert, can she make it?”
In the distance, behind us, an explosion went off, echoing like thunder. We turned. “Thunder?” Tommy said. “In the tunnel?”
Another boom. This time we could see the small orange dot at the very end of the tunnel.
Tolbert stood straight up like a hunting dog – ears perked up, body rigid. “That’s not thunder,” he said. “Those are explosions.”
Another one. The cars behind us went off like fireworks. The first car must’ve triggered something.
Another, this time closer.
"On the horses,” I said, hoisting Ashley up. She weighed practically nothing.
Tolbert put a hand to my chest. “She can’t ride like this.”
“You wanna stay here with her?” I asked, shoving him aside. Another car went up and Tolbert jerked. “Maybe you can protect her with your super-cape. Tommy!” I yelled. “You’re the best rider. Climb up and
hold her.”
Another explosion. This time the sound of ricocheting metal against the tunnel walls followed. Then another. Rapid fire as the cars tighter together exploded. Tommy looked lost. “Now!” I shouted. I could just barely make out the whinny of Ashley's horse in the distance. Dumb fuck. Ya should've jumped.
Tommy climbed on his horse, and I raised Ashley as high as I could. Her head flopped loosely back into Tommy’s chest as he pulled her up by her arm. I thought for sure that was it. Her neck would snap, and she’d be dead in minutes. If she didn't die, she’d never walk again.
Another boom and a rearview mirror flew out of the growing orange light behind us, landing with a roll at our feet.
“MOVE!” Tolbert shouted.
We jumped on the horses; I pulled up Louie on mine. We kicked them into high gear, my sight never leaving Tommy’s horse. A hot wind blew past us as explosions fired off in rapid succession. I snapped the reigns, Louie burying his face as I held him close to me with one hand. The thunder behind us became the sound of cannon fire going off one after another. Our backs baked as we exited the tunnel. I turned to look, and sure enough, out sprang Ashley's horse. Little shit decided to jump after all. Nice timing.
The horses galloped down the dark incline of the highway towards the city. The super-cloud hovered over the tall buildings like an alien invading.
Five hundred feet, a thousand, then the tunnel erupted behind us, sending shards of metal and glass after us like the barrel of a tank.
But it missed, landing behind us. Not far enough to settle us down, but enough to avoid decapitating us.
We couldn’t stop. The cloud up ahead had turned grey and evil. Lightning flashed and a wall of rain underneath it began to close up the city like a curtain at the end of the show.
“Where’s the hospital?” I yelled to Louie over the clomping of hooves and the wind whistling past us.
“Not sure. I just saw the markers.”
“Whadda ya mean you’re not sure?”
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