“No!”
“Okay.”
Luke stood just outside the open door listening to Ava talking to herself and he smiled.
“Don’t wait up, I’ll be having sex with Luke all night. Yeah, that’s a no.”
“I kinda liked that one,” he said, feeling only a little guilty when she jumped.
“What are you doing?”
“Coming to ask if you want me to run out for salad or something. I didn’t want to interrupt your messaging.”
She scowled at him. “Thanks.”
“Hey, Siri, text Mom.”
“Texting Mom.”
“Hey, Mom, I’m with Luke. Don’t wait up.”
Siri repeated the message Luke had given, then asked, “Ready to send it?”
“No!” Ava said. But Luke said yes louder and held the phone out of her reach.
“There. Done. Now we can eat.” He slid his hands around her, cupping her bottom. “Then we can do other things.”
Ava woke in Luke’s bed to the scent of coffee. She hadn’t meant to stay, didn’t know if he’d meant for her to stay. Sex between adults was one thing. Sleeping together was something else entirely. After a night of mind blowing sex, she should feel loose. Instead she was tense and uncomfortable. She hated not knowing where things stood, where she stood. She’d spent too many months not knowing where she stood with Blake.
But she was a big girl. She’d get up, get dressed, and face whatever it was. Get the answers she needed. It could still be simple. They’d let the fire smoldering between catch and burn. Now things would probably cool off. Nothing to be uncomfortable about.
Although the room was a square and not a circle, Ava pictured the room like a clock, putting herself at six. The chest of drawers was to her left, at nine. The door out to the kitchen at ten or eleven.
She didn’t know where her clothes had ended up. When she felt around with her foot, she touched cloth, picked it up, felt Luke’s jeans. She brought them to her face and felt a little foolish for smiling. Making her way around the room, using her feet for feelers, it didn’t take her long to find her bra, shirt, and pants. Took a while longer to find her underwear hidden in the sheets.
Dressed, she went in search of that life-giving liquid. She wasn’t sure where Luke was. Maybe he was already out doing stuff. She hadn’t asked her phone for the time.
She used her cane and one hand on the wall to find her way to the kitchen. “Hey,” he said, when she reached the corner.
“Hey.” She was more tense than she’d been before. Those insecurities she’d had as a teen, then overcome with Blake only to have them come roaring back tenfold bombarded her.
Was he looking at her, at his watch, his phone? Was he frowning? Scowling? Wanting her to leave but not sure how to say it?
“You breathing over there?”
“What?”
“I asked if you were breathing. You stopped, froze like a statue. Need help?”
“No. Yes, I’m breathing. I was just thinking.” She held her hand out to use the wall for guidance.
“I could tell.”
“Do you know where my phone is? I need to call a ride. I could start yelling, ‘Hey, Siri’, but it might be awkward since you’re standing right here.”
Luke didn’t answer but she heard his footsteps, felt the vibration of the wood under her bare feet. He stopped right in front of her.
“Trying to run away?”
“Nope. Not running. Just going. I’ve got things and…you’ve got things.”
Luke couldn’t get inside her head, no matter how much he wished he could. But the unsettled, uncomfortable feelings were vibrating off of her loud and clear. Because they’d had sex? She certainly hadn’t seemed uncertain or uncomfortable during that part. Was it the morning after? Regrets? Because of him specifically or just in general? He wanted time to figure it out. Figure her out and himself. Them.
Luke caught her fingers in his and stepped into her. “You’re thinking too much,” he said slipping his arm around her waist. He brushed the hair from her neck so he could kiss her there. “I made you breakfast. You think your things can wait until after that?”
“Um…sure. Sounds good. Smells good.”
“You know, if I wanted to rush you out the door I would have only made enough for one.”
It made her heart jerk to know he read her thoughts so easily and she didn’t care for it. “Maybe you’re too polite to only make breakfast for yourself.”
“And maybe you’re looking to get the hell out of dodge. Planning to call Hannah and cancel any scheduled rides.” He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I don’t know what you’re thinking either, Ava. Just feeling my way here.”
He led her to the little table Hannah had added to the room last week. “And what if I was too polite, which I’m not. Would I ask what you were doing later? And I’d be asking for the purpose of seeing you again, in case you didn’t get that.”
Ava heard the teasing note in his voice, heard the smile in it. She grinned and forked up a bite of the eggs he’d placed in front of her.
“Are you gonna tell me what you’re doing later?”
“Maybe. I think I’ll try the eggs first.”
27
Two days later, Ava had a very early and very long phone call with Maddie to confess her recent bedroom deeds with Luke. During which her friend tried her best to finagle all the sexy details.
Following that, and a rushed cup of coffee, she put her dad through the paces of his physical therapy until he cried uncle. “Okay. You did good,” she told him. “I’ll get you some water.”
She came back and got him comfortable in his recliner then handed him a cup of water.
“How’s that new man of yours?”
The question was so out of nowhere, so surprising she choked on her own water.
“He’s not— I mean…he’s fine. He took me to the pool the other day. I beat him in a race.”
“That’s my girl.”
She took the empty cup from him. “Let me get you a cool towel.” His breathing was still heavy.
“You know I’m not so old that I don’t know why you didn’t come home the other night, or why you were so late that day.”
“Daddy! I—”
“Ahh.” He gave her leg a pat. “Forget it. Just make sure he’s good to my girl.”
Good grief? Was her dad really commenting about her sex life? Her face was hot when she came back with a damp dish towel and handed it to him.
“That’s nice, honey. Thank you. I’ll just cool off here a bit.”
“Okay. What about some juice?”
“That’d be fine. Thank you.”
Ava took a glass from the cabinet and was just getting ice from the door of the refrigerator when the front door opened. She heard Ryan walk in. He had an unmistakable way of slamming the door. There was also a certain rhythm to his walk as his dress shoes moved over the kitchen tile.
“Hey,” he said, stopping across the room from her. She hadn’t talked to her brother since he’d stormed out yesterday. “Mom here?”
“Yeah. I think she’s in the bedroom, changing sheets maybe.” Ava moved around him to get to the refrigerator. She felt around for the Cranberry juice she’d labeled for herself with a sticker from her braille label maker.
She poured the juice, using the tip of her finger over the edge of the glass as a guide.
“That for Dad?”
“Yeah.”
“Here. I’ll take it in to him. Hey,” he said, stopping on his way out of the kitchen. “Don’t be mad at me, okay?”
“Is that an apology?”
“I don’t know,” he said, his tone getting hot again. “Should I be apologizing?”
“Well, I apologized about a hundred times yesterday, so yeah, I think so. And,” she said before he could interrupt. “I clearly remember you staying out all night when you came home from college for the holidays. And I clearly remember Mom and Dad being worried. What I don’t
remember is it being a big problem. Is that because you’re male or because you’re not blind?”
“Wow. How many brain cells did you use coming up with that?”
“Don’t be an asshole.” Even as she said it, she felt a little twinge of guilt because really, they had had reason to worry, considering what happened.
“Okay. So I ask again, are you still mad at me?”
She heaved out a breath. “Fine. No.” She knew that was her brother’s version of an apology and since she still felt bad for worrying everyone, she’d take it. She poured a glass of milk for herself and was popping a piece of bread in the toaster when her mom came in.
“Ava, I’ve been thinking.”
“Oh, boy,” Ryan said, coming back into the room. “I can’t wait to hear this. Pop a piece of toast in there for me, will you? And add some Nutella.”
“Don’t be a smart mouth,” his mother told him. “And don’t either of you make a mess in this kitchen. I just wiped down the counters.”
Ava had already canceled her toast, added his, and started it again.
“As I was saying… I’ve been thinking and I think you should invite Luke to dinner.”
Ava choked on her milk in mid swallow. “No. A major no.”
“Ava Lane.” Her mother paused her banging of dishes as she unloaded the dishwasher. “You’re seeing a man. You should have him over.”
“That’s not what this is. Mom. I’ve known him a few weeks. And we’re not…”
“Not what?” Her brother asked and she could hear the smirk.
“None of your business,” she snapped in his direction. “And I’m not seeing a man, Mom.” I’m just …having sex with him. She liked the sound of that. Not seeing, not dating, not planning. Just enjoying. “I’m not asking him over for dinner, and especially not on your birthday.”
“Why not my birthday?”
“Because that’s like a family thing and…”
“It’s my birthday. I should get to have who I want. I barely got a chance to talk to him the last time he was here.”
“Because you were too busy yelling at me.”
She knew her brother was standing there, sipping coffee, probably grinning like a fool. “Shut up,” she said to him and threw the dish rag in his direction.
“Missed me,” he said and heard the door open and close as he left.
Damn it. Every single time.
Luke met up with Hannah outside the back of the barn at the horse shower. Standing off to the side, he watched her work. “Does he really need to be clean?”
“Of course. Makes him feel better about himself, doesn’t it, Al?”
The little tan and brown horse bobbed his head as if agreeing.
“He took a roll in the mud and I have a client coming later for ground therapy.”
He’d learned ground therapy meant petting, feeding, touching. He supposed that went better with a clean horse. “I’ve got some errands to run,” Luke told Hannah as she sprayed off the soapy horse.
“Oh, yeah? Don’t tell me you’re buying more building supplies.”
“Nope.” He hadn’t told them about Gary. He didn’t particularly want to talk to Gary much less talk to people about talking to Gary. And wouldn’t that make them worry more? Or maybe it would make them worry less?
“Luke?” A light spray of water hit his legs and he looked up to see his grinning sister.
“You really want to play that game?”
“No.” She quickly cut off the water. “I really don’t. Oh, hey. Did you ever talk to Nick about the guy he arrested?”
“Yeah. Turned out he didn’t have any information that could help.”
“I still can’t believe that happened to Ava.”
“I know.” And he still wasn’t over it. Had in fact dreamed about it last night. Dreamed he hadn’t gotten there in time.
“Where are you going?”
“Grocery,” he said. “Milk, bread. Just the basics.” He walked beside sister and horse into the barn. Hannah tied his lead rope to a ring outside his stall. “Need anything?”
“Nope. We’re all set. It’s taco night so I’ll expect you around six.”
They had established that Luke loved tacos. Another get to know your siblings thing, he supposed. “Thanks, but I’m not going to able to make that.”
“Luke.” She turned and gave him that pitying look. “There’s no need for you to eat alone. We love having you.”
“I won’t be eating alone. I’ll be eating with Ava.” He smiled at the thought and turned his head so his sister couldn’t see the love–sloppy grin.
Ava didn’t know it yet, but they were going out. He still owed her dinner.
Later that week, after a very nice dinner date and another night with Ava in his bed, Luke stood at the fence rail watching Ava and telling himself he had other things he needed to be doing. Even as he went through the mental list, he didn’t move away. He had this constant need to be near her even when he wasn’t touching her.
Of course, touching her was always a good option. Even now he imagined unzipping that vest, unbuttoning all those little buttons on the shirt she wore underneath. He needed to get a handle on seeing Ava and whatever these feelings were going on inside him every time he saw her.
Ava walked Winnie past Hannah, listening to her directions on her seat, her leg and hand placement. Ava adjusted listened, made adjustments. Again, he thought how good she looked up there.
She worked Winnie into a trot and over a few rails laid out on the ground. Now she was cantering around the ring. How in the hell she did that without seeing was still beyond him. The woman had courage in spades.
He watched her go by again, then watched as his sister set the rails into a low bar jump. No way was she setting that up for Ava. He started to climb over the fence, make his way into the ring, and just stopped himself. Don’t be like her parents. She’s got this.
Damn it. He stood, breath held, as Ava came around and made a wide turn. He felt the muscles of his stomach tighten in fear. A simple, razor-edged fear. She raised her butt up out of the seat and she and Winnie were up and over.
Hannah called out instructions and more praise. Ava pulled Winnie back into a walk and stopped beside Hannah. He couldn’t hear what they were saying but Hannah did all the talking and Ava nodded.
Luke watched as Ava moved away from his sister and picked up the cantor again. She went down the straight outside of the ring, passing the jumps set up in the middle. She did that three times and every time Hannah called out something but he couldn’t make out the words.
On the fourth pass Ava made a turn, going right down the center of the ring where the jump was set up. Ava and Winnie sailed over the jump on the first pass and Luke let out the breath he’d been holding. After a quick pow wow with Hannah, Ava repeated the exercise.
Picking up a trot, then a cantor, then lined up for the jump. Only this time they didn’t sail over. Winnie stopped short, sidestepping to the right and Ava went over the horse’s head, hitting the rail with her shoulder before her body hit the ground.
With a hand on the top rail, Luke leaped up and over and raced across the sandy riding ring. He got to her seconds before Hannah did.
“Ava?” His heart was in his throat as he ran his hands lightly over her arms and legs. “Where are you hurt? Don’t get up.”
For a few seconds she obeyed, then sucked in a deep breath of air. “I’m fine.” She pressed her fist to her chest, she drew in more air. “Just— Knocked the breath out of me.” She started to sit up, dusting the sand from her arms.
“Just be still, damn it. You’re bleeding.”
“Luke, I’m fine.”
“Bleeding? Where?” Hannah gave his shoulder a shove. He didn’t move but she squeezed her way in. “Let me see. You sure you’re okay,” she asked Ava.
Ava reached up, touched a finger to her forehead. “I’m sure. I must have scratched myself. It’s nothing,” she said, standing but Luke still had a
hold of her arm. “It was my fault. I lost concentration and she didn’t know what I wanted her to do.”
“Well you made it over the first one beautifully,” Hannah said.
Luke stared at the women. “Are the two of you crazy? She could have broken her neck.”
“Luke,” Hannah said, with what he read as false patience. “We’re in the middle of a lesson. Maybe you should go find something else to do.”
Luke looked from Ava to his sister and back to Ava.
Hannah touched Ava’s other arm. “If you’re sure you’re okay, let’s go back to that first cross bar we did today, and have you and Winnie end on a high note.”
Hannah looked at him. “We’ll just finish up and you can cool down.”
“I’m fine,” Ava said. “Really.”
Well nice that someone was, Luke thought and turning on his heel, made his way back to the barn. He wasn’t going to the cabin to work. Not yet. He wasn’t finished with what he wanted to say. Not yet.
The second the women entered the barn he straightened from the wall he’d been holding up for the past fifteen minutes. Ava had already dismounted and was leading the horse.
She went right to Winnie’s stall, running her hand over the braille name plates, no help needed from him. Just one more impressive thing about her. She took the halter and lead rope and with a few flicks of her fingers had unbuckled the bridle.
He waited until she’d slipped the halter over Winnie’s ears before he stepped forward. “For God’s sake, don’t do that again.”
She turned her face to stare at him, or seemed to. “Excuse me?”
“Look, you can ride in the ring. You can—”
“I can ride in the ring?”
Her tone hit something scary which was punctuated by his sister’s abrupt departure. Damn it. The women had already conspired against him.
“So,” Ava said. “Tell me again exactly what I can and can’t do? Maybe you should write it out. Oh, wait. I wouldn’t be able to read it. Maybe you should put a leash on me so you can be sure I do as I’m told.”
Waiting On The Rain (The Walker Brothers Book 3) Page 21