by Kelsie Rae
“Thank you,” I breathe. Then Diece guides me back to my room.
As I step over the threshold, he grabs my face and kisses me. It’s hard and desperate, filled with so much relief that I almost melt on the floor. When he pulls away, a breath of laughter weaves itself into my voice as I whisper, “What was that for?”
“I just needed to kiss you.”
I smile against his lips, then rise onto my tiptoes and press a second kiss to his mouth. This one is softer, gentler, but laced with just as much emotion as the first.
When he pulls away a second time, he presses his forehead against mine and squeezes his eyes shut.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sensing the hurricane in his soul.
“Nothing.”
Trying to lighten the mood, I tease, “Liar.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” His five o’clock shadow tickles my palm as I cup his cheek. “What’s going on?”
As if in pain, he closes his eyes and leans into me. “I just…I wish I could protect you.”
“You do protect me.”
“I mean from your past,” he clarifies before opening his eyes. The emotion that swirls in their depths is staggering. The guilt he feels for something he couldn’t control. It makes me want to cry, and hug him, and beg him to keep me forever. But this isn’t a fairy-tale. And he isn’t an average Prince Charming.
“In another life, I’d make us hide away at Matteo’s estate forever,” he murmurs, reading me like an open book.
“But you’re a Romano,” I finish for him. “And you’d never be satisfied with that kind of life. I’ve given you the impression I’m broken. And in a way, I have been. But after seeing Will, I know that I can’t stay broken. You were right. I can’t let myself live in fear. I have to be stronger than that. And I need you to believe in me. To let me prove that I am stronger than that.”
“You’re the strongest person I know,” he whispers.
“Not yet. But I will be. Now, tell me what you know about Will.”
23
Q
Diece tells me every minute detail about Will and Sei and Burlone and Johnson and freaking Reed until my head is spinning. But it’s Sei’s name that makes my gut clench and my muscles tighten with anxiety and fear. Once he’s finished, I feel like a boa constrictor is wrapped around my torso, squeezing the life out of me, but I can’t ignore it. That will only make the wound fester.
With my head in my hands, I clarify, “So, he really is out there.”
“Yes.”
“Lovely.”
He laughs.
“He’ll be looking for me,” I confide, sobering as I look up at D. “He promised to never let me free. That he’d always have me. That he’d always use me. And hurt me. And everything else. In his own sick, twisted way, I think he does love me. But it isn’t the right kind of love. It’s….”
“Fucked-up, Q. So fucked-up.”
Rubbing my hand beneath my nose, I sniff and try to push aside my fear and the memories that accompany Sei’s name. “And you want to use me as bait to catch him?”
“I don’t want to,” D grits out. The defeat in his voice is crippling as he guides me to the bed before encouraging me to sit on the edge of it. When I do, he joins me and continues. “But I’d rather be the one hunting for the bastard than the sitting duck, waiting to be slaughtered.”
Well, when you put it that way….
I feel like my veins have been injected with Mentos and Coke. Like my entire body is fizzing with too much carbonation, and I’m going to explode. Wringing my hands together in my lap, I whisper, “I’m terrified, D.”
“I know.”
“But I trust you.” I peek up at him.
The heat of his gaze isn’t scorching. It’s more like a warm sip of hot chocolate or the kiss of sunshine in the middle of summer that licks at my cheeks as he inches forward and presses his lips to mine.
I melt into him and open my mouth to let him inside when I feel his tongue tease the seam of my lips. His fingers tangle into my hair, cupping my cheeks with his calloused hands. I smile when the rough yet gentle grip scratches my sensitive skin.
I could love this man. I could fall for him. Hell, I have fallen for him. And while that’s terrifying, it’s also freeing.
The sound of his low groan makes my toes curl before I tangle our tongues together and deepen the kiss. Getting lost in his touch, the soft comforter cradles my back before I realize I’m lying down. On a mattress. With a massive, muscular guy that’s twice my size on top of me. It would be easy for him to force me to do something I’m not comfortable with. I wouldn’t even be able to put up a fight if he decided to toy with the idea.
But instead of being filled with terror, there’s a peace that accompanies my realization. Because even though he could do whatever the hell he wants to me, he wouldn’t. Not without my consent.
I know it in my bones. I can feel it in my chest. Hell, it’s apparent in every fiber of my being. He might be a big, bad mafia man. But to me, he’s Diece. My Diece. My protector. My friend. My everything.
And that makes all the difference.
With his strong arms caging me in on both sides of my head, I open my legs in an attempt to cradle his hips. Sensing my intent, Diece ends our kiss and pushes himself into a push-up before he stares down at me. His hesitation is clear as his piercing brown eyes pin me in place.
“Blue….”
“I want to.”
Tortured, he squeezes his eyes shut. “You don’t have to—”
“I know. I said want,” I reiterate with a dry laugh. “I want you. I want to give myself to you. I want to be with someone that I want to be with. And you’re that someone.”
“What’s your safe word, Q?”
“I know what it—”
“Say the word, Q,” he grits out. “I need to hear you say it.”
The pain in his eyes hits me harder than a sledgehammer. I’m not the only one who’s scared. Who regrets my past even though neither of us had any control over it. And for some reason, it’s comforting to know that he might not ever understand what I went through or how much it messed me up. But he cares. And he’ll do everything in his power to make it better and erase the damage.
Licking my lips, I breathe, “Six.”
“And if you feel uncomfortable at all, you say that word. We clear?”
“Yeah.” I smile up at him. “We’re clear.”
His Adam’s apple bobs up and down in his throat, but he doesn’t move a muscle. Like he’s still debating whether or not he should back out. Weaving my fingers behind his neck, I pull him closer until our chests are pressed together. Then I kiss him, silently begging him to stay with me. To be with me. To not let my past divide us any more than it already has. Knuckles white, he grips the sheets by my head before groaning and giving in to the temptation that is literally spread out beneath him.
Then he finally snaps. The punishing grip of his fingers digs into my outer thigh as he hitches it over his fully clothed hip, then grinds into me. His thick erection rubs against my core and pulls a whimper from my lips as he continues torturing me with his mouth. His other hand. His soft groans. All of it. Until I’m drowning in need. When I’m positive I can’t take it anymore, he trails open-mouthed kisses against my jaw and neck before pushing himself onto his knees.
Hooking his fingers around the neck of his shirt, he rips it over his head then throws it across the room before standing up to do the same to his pants. My mouth waters as I scan all the delicious olive skin covering muscle after rippling muscle.
With a smirk, he jokes, “Like whatcha see?”
My cheeks catch on fire. “Oh. Sorry.”
I drop my gaze to the silky sheets surrounding me, hating how quickly my insecurities always seem to claw to the surface. His footsteps make the floor creak as he closes the distance between us and lifts my chin with his finger.
When our gazes connect, a soft smile tugs at the corn
er of his mouth. “I was joking.”
“Oh.” I wave him off. “Yeah. I know that.”
“I’m serious, Q. You’re allowed to check me out without apologizing.” He leans in and presses a quick kiss against my lips. “You’re allowed to feel lust without feeling guilty.” Grabbing the hem of my shirt, he pulls it up a few inches to reveal my lower stomach. “You’re allowed to let go and like sex.” The cold air brushes against my bare skin as he pulls it over my head and tosses it over his shoulder to join his own pile of clothes. “You’re allowed to choose your partner.” He kisses me again. Only this one is much less innocent and much headier. “And I’m the luckiest bastard in the world because you chose me.”
His fingers make short work of the button on my jeans before he tugs them down my thighs and follows the movement with his lips, peppering kisses along every inch of skin. Other than my underwear, I’m bare to him. And it’s terrifying. Fighting the urge to cover myself up, my muscles tense before Diece’s dark chuckle greets my ears, and he tangles our fingers together.
“You’re beautiful, Q. You’re fucking breathtaking. Now, let me help you let go.” His tongue swirls against the scars along my inner thigh, and he glances up at me as his mouth hovers only a few inches from my core. But he doesn’t dive in.
He’s waiting for permission.
Again.
With a tight smile, I nod.
Then he grins and uses his fingers to push aside the last, flimsy piece of fabric that separates us. Squeezing my eyes shut, I get lost in the feel of his mouth against the most intimate part of me. The part that no one else has touched. Well, other than the last time, anyway. But it’s the part that’s his. And only his.
My orgasm hits fast and hard as he pushes a finger inside of me and sucks the bundle of nerves into his mouth before I come crashing into oblivion. As I catch my breath, he nibbles, licks, and kisses the skin along my stomach, then stops at my chest and sucks my left nipple into his mouth while palming my right breast.
Holy shit.
How does he do it? How does he make me feel so freaking good when, in other circumstances, it’s pure torture?
I squirm and arch my back, begging him to continue as that same, sweet ache starts to build all over again. I can feel his smile against my skin before he gently bites down and pulls a moan from my lips.
“Shit, Diece.”
Another smile, then he sucks a little harder before releasing my nipple with a soft pop. I’m seconds from smacking the guy as he stops at my neck and sucks again. I have no doubt I’ll have a purple mark there tomorrow, but I don’t even give a crap right now. Not when his hands and mouth are roaming my body. Satisfied, Diece meets my mouth with his own and kisses me while lining himself up at my entrance.
“You ready?” he murmurs.
Hooking my ankles around his waist, I quirk my brow and dare him to back out now. Thankfully, he catches my drift. With another dark chuckle, his right hand pins my waist down to the mattress then he carefully pushes inside of me.
My mouth drops open as my vision blurs until all I can see, smell, and feel is him.
Shiiit that hurts.
“You okay?” he breathes, trying to control himself as he gives me a minute to adjust.
“Y-yeah.” I wiggle my hips beneath him and catch my breath. I feel so…full. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
“Good girl.” Dropping another kiss to my lips, he slowly picks up his pace until I’m a squirming mess beneath him.
His grunts mingle with my moans and echo through the otherwise silent room as we push each other closer to the edge. Scraping my nails against his back, I chase the euphoria and finally let go before he follows right after. With his head tucked into my neck, he groans and pulses inside of me.
And it doesn’t disgust me. It doesn’t make me feel dirty or used. It feels…right. Good. Freaking great, actually.
As we both catch our breaths, D rolls onto his back, then tugs me into his side and starts running his fingers along my damp skin.
“Shit,” he mutters.
I laugh but don’t reply.
“You okay, Blue?”
My smile softens before I take a second to analyze my emotions. But for once, they aren’t all over the place. And it feels good to be in the present without my baggage weighing me down.
“Yeah.” I rest my chin against his pec and look up at him. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
His mouth twitches with pride before he presses a quick peck to my forehead. Then he lays back down. “I’ll always keep you safe, Q.”
“I believe you.”
And I really do.
24
Diece
“Hey, man,” a deep voice murmurs as I grab a protein shake from the fridge. The door closes with a flick of my wrist a second later and gives me a view of the culprit.
“Hey, Jack.” I lift my chin in greeting. “What’s up?”
“I just….” He squeezes the back of his neck as his face contorts with discomfort. “I just wanted to apologize.”
“For what?”
“For being an inconsiderate asshole to you and Q.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Jack. I get it.”
“Don’t let me off the hook,” he rasps. “I was being selfish. You guys have let me stay here while the rest of the world searches for me. You’ve been….” He laughs. “Hell, you’ve been generous with your hospitality. More than I would’ve ever expected, and I repaid you by acting like a kid who’d gotten his toy taken away.”
The guy looks like his guilt has been eating him alive ever since Will showed up and Q revealed her true identity. I’d be an ass not to put him out of his misery.
“Like I said, I get it,” I reply. “And it wasn’t a toy. It was your only hope of returning to a normal life after this. You didn’t plan on running from the law in your lifetime like the rest of us. You were fighting for the good guys, yet still found a way to be on their shitlist.”
With his hip against the counter, he rubs his hand against his face. “Yeah. It kind of sucks.”
I can see him slipping back into his thoughts, replaying the last moments of his life before they were ripped away from him. I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like to be betrayed by one of your own. When we found out that Vince, a soldier in the family, had been feeding information to one of our enemies, we eradicated the problem with a bullet to his head. Jack doesn’t have that privilege.
And that’s a bitch to come to terms with.
“Do you want to go back?” I ask, unable to help myself. “If you had the chance.”
Sighing, he looks back at me with bloodshot eyes. “Where else would I go?”
I shrug one shoulder and take a quick swig of my drink while eyeing him casually. Once I’ve swallowed, I offer, “You could stay here.”
You’d think I offered to send him to Mars by the way his entire face scrunches up. “I, uh…I couldn’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“We’re not as bad as you think, Jack.” I slap him on the back. “In a way, we’re set up just like the justice system, but King is the judge, jury, and President,” I point out with a smirk.
“And what are you?”
“Executioner, and VP.”
He laughs. “But the government doesn’t dabble in illegal activities.”
My amusement bounces off the walls as I fight the urge to slap my knee. “You serious? You don’t think they dabble in illegal activities? Come on, Jack. You can’t be that naive.”
Jaw tight, he exhales long and slow before looking back at me. “I know you’re right. It’s just––”
“Like finding out that Santa isn’t real but still wanting to believe for another holiday season or two because facing the truth before you’re ready is depressing as hell? I get it. Just know that Kingston isn’t a bad guy. We do what needs to be done to keep our world spinning and to keep our family safe, b
ut we don’t take any of it lightly. Understood?”
He stays quiet for a second before coming to his conclusion. “Yeah. I get it. If I’ve learned anything while staying here, it’s that you guys aren’t bad guys.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Jack. Just think about it,” I press. “Or don’t. Just know that we’ve got your back.”
“Thanks, D. I’ve got yours too.” The refrigerator door swings open with a quick tug, ending our conversation as quickly as it’d started. He grabs his own protein shake from it, then closes the fridge and lifts the drink toward me in a silent salute before striding out of the kitchen.
I guess that’s that.
I watch him disappear then grab my drink off the counter. With the protein shake pressed against my mouth, I nearly spit it out when Q rounds the corner into the kitchen while wearing my shirt from last night.
My. Fucking. Shirt.
It reaches just below her ass and displays her milky thighs that I had wrapped around my waist the night before. With a few buttons left open at the top, it leaves little to the imagination and makes me so hard that I’m throbbing in less than a second.
“What are you wearing?” I growl as I set my shake on the granite counter.
She grins and reaches around me before grabbing my drink. With a smirk, she presses it to her pouty lips and takes a sip. Her blue hair brushes against the back of her neck as she tilts her head back while a soft purple bite mark plays peek-a-boo with me on the column of her throat. The throat I was sucking on before I pushed myself inside of her. When she lowers the plastic cup, a smudge of chocolate clings to her lips, and her tongue darts out to taste it.
“Good morning,” she greets me with a coy smile. It’s one I didn’t think she was capable of delivering. But damn, it’s gorgeous. I want to bottle it up and keep it for myself. Along with the bare legs she’s sporting.
My eyes narrow, and a growl escapes me. “Go upstairs and change.”