by D. J. Manly
Ramsay’s hands moved up his belly as he took his cock in his mouth and began to suck. Ramsay closed his eyes, letting his head go back. Hunter dug his fingers into Ramsay’s baby hair and got religion. When he started to come, Ramsay swallowed a good part of it before he fell back on the bed laughing, and exclaimed, “It’s too much … even for me.”
Hunter was somewhat embarrassed until Ramsay moved up close to him and wrapped his arms around his hips. He kissed his still sputtering cock, and looked up at him with those blue eyes. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered. “Fuck me … if you want.”
“If … if I want?” Hunter swallowed. He could hardly breathe. He wanted him so much. As soon as he laid down on the bed and Ramsay began to touch him, he was hard again. He dragged Ramsay’s body on top of his and Ramsay straddled him, taking his cock into his ass, inch by inch. Hunter was sure his cock would split him apart. He looked so delicate, but he was far from it. His cock fully erect was at least eight inches.
His own cock felt like heaven in Ramsay’s ass. Compressed inside of him, it was suffering from a sublime aching pleasure which Ramsay took his time alleviating. Slowly, he moved up and down Hunter’s shaft, using it, wringing every last ounce of pleasure from it. They came together, Ramsay shouting out, “Oh baby … oh baby … yes…” while all he could do was lie there and stare up into the seraphic face, and wait until Ramsay’s body flooded with his essence, which was ecstasy.
Hunter couldn’t go on. His bottom lip was trembling. He almost shouted when Scott reached out and touched his hand. “Hunter,” he said. “Then what happened?”
“We were inseparable, of course. Ramsay came back, and back again, off the clock. We went places together. We were falling in love.”
“And?”
Hunter stood up. This was painful, more painful than anything else in his entire life. Even being despised in Jamaica for his color, or lack of it, and for his sexual orientation, was easier to rehash than this. “Five months. We were together almost three months. I thought … yeah … this is love.” The tears threatened. He swallowed hard. “I’d never felt it … I mean, my mother loved me well enough but we were pretty poor, and…” He stopped. “My father, well, he had another family, and he didn’t want his new family to know about me. When he came to tell me Thompson was coming back, he seemed relieved to get rid of me. He tried to give me money … a few grand. I threw it at him.”
“I’m sorry,” Scott said.
He shrugged. “That wasn’t the worst. I guess I expected that. What I didn’t expect was that Ramsay would…”
Scott stood up. He came to stand beside him.
“When I told him the truth, he got really quiet. Then he told me that it was over.”
“Why?”
“He wants to find a … well, a rich man who will take him under his wing, I guess. He wants to live in luxury, be kept. He had it hard on the streets, damn near starved to death. He’s terrified of being poor.”
“But he does love you.”
“Yeah,” Hunter said, turning around and meeting Scott’s eyes, “or he did until he decided he loved money more. From that moment on, he told me he’d help me in any way he could, but that there was no more us, because you see, I wasn’t the nephew of a rich man. I was some poor fuck from Jamaica who would never see a cent of his father’s money anyhow. So, I was out on my ass. Ramsay told me he’d take me to the Agency, introduce me to Jacques, and then it was out of his hands. I didn’t want this, Scott. I really didn’t, but it’s the only way I have to stay close to Ramsay. Then when Amanda chose both of us to be together like this, I couldn’t turn it down because…” He sighed. “Christ, it’s like knocking my head up against a brick wall.”
Scott put his arms around Hunter and pulled him close. “Love sucks,” he hissed, then he laughed. He released him. Hunter noticed the one tear which was running down his face, and suddenly he wanted to kiss it away. “Scott,” he said hoarsely.
He reached out to touch him and Scott shook his head, taking a step backwards. “I don’t think I could, Hunter.”
Hunter nodded. “Tell me about Ciel now?”
Scott began walking back in the direction of the house. “Ciel is … he is the one who causes my heart to beat. My body, my very soul, belongs to him.”
Hunter felt shaken by those words. There was nothing left to say. They walked in silence until they reached Amanda’s door.
Chapter Nine
Dinner was delicious. Amanda was having a great time, although she was a bit concerned with Scott’s drinking. When he got drunk, he could get belligerent and she was afraid he’d piss off Chase, who seemed to be on alert every time Scott got within a few feet of Jordon. On one hand, it was kind of cute, but on the other, Amanda knew that Chase’s stepfather had taught him to box as a teenager, and that he could knock Scott on his ass, especially in his inebriated condition.
After dinner, Amanda suggested they play charades. Jordon tried to bow out, but Chase wouldn’t let him. Hunter and Ramsay sat on opposite sides of the living room, hardly acknowledging each other. In fact, Ramsay barely said two words all night. Hunter stayed close to Scott, and they played on the same team with her, against Chase and Jordon, who kept pleading with Ramsay to help them out.
It was hilarious, and they were all having a good time until later when it was again Scott’s turn to act out something. Amanda knew she should have suggested they stop playing before it was Scott’s turn again, because he was very drunk by the time he got up and stood in the center of the room. In hindsight, she knew she had underestimated how far he could go when he was suffering.
“Now,” he said, draining his glass, “let’s play a different game. Let’s play … a reality game!”
Amanda narrowed her eyes. “Darling, why don’t we call it a night now? I’m tired, and…”
“No, no, Amanda,” he said, smiling at her. “You can all go to bed after my turn. It’s my damn turn.” His voice rose a bit, causing everyone else in the room to pay attention.
There was total silence.
“Good,” he said. “Now that I have your attention. You know, I was thinking Amanda, this is quite a little party you have here. All of your boys … together … except Ciel, of course … but fuck him. Did you know that your sister,” he said, looking over at Jordon, who was reclining back on the sofa, Chase’s hand on his upper thigh, “went on a quest to find the most beautiful man on earth?”
“No,” Jordon replied gently, “I didn’t know that.” Jordon looked at Amanda. Amanda could see the compassion in Jordon’s eyes. He was perceptive enough to recognize pain when he saw it.
Scott’s eyes stayed on Jordon and Chase. “Do you know what you have there, Chase?”
“Yes, Scott,” he said sincerely. “I do. I know what I have and I thank God every day for it.” He squeezed Jordon’s thigh. Jordon kissed him gently on the mouth.
Scott shook his head. “Don’t ever fuck around with that. If it’s love, don’t fuck with it.”
“I won’t,” Chase said. “Scott, why don’t you come outside for some air?” He stood up, holding out his hand.
Scott put up a hand. “Look at us.” He turned to Ramsay. “Look at you, you pathetic piece of shit hiding out, waiting for some rich old fart!”
“Scott!” Amanda protested, looking at Chase, who had moved closer to Scott.
“Wait,” he said, pointing at Chase. “I’m not finished yet.”
Chase paused. He cast a look back at Jordon, who stood up now too.
“You look at Hunter,” Scott growled under his breath. “You look at him and…”
“Scott, don’t,” Hunter said. He shook his head, and disappeared from the room.
Ramsay’s gaze followed him, then returned to look at Scott. “What is this all about? What in hell have I ever done to you? Just because your lover doesn’t want you anymore, you don’t have to…”
“Ramsay,” Jordon cut him off sharply. “Enough. He’s drunk. He doesn’t kno
w what he’s talking about.”
“I know more than you think.” He pointed at Jordon. “I’ve had to learn the hard way. Everyone in this room is afraid … afraid of getting their hearts torn to threads. We fuck and we fuck, and if we don’t love, then it’s okay. We walk away untouched. But if we love, we don’t survive, our hearts don’t…” He stopped. He looked at Amanda. “I love you, Mandy, but I had to leave you. I had to go after Ciel … he was the one who, I wasn’t alive until I looked into his eyes. Now that I’m alive, I want to die,” he said. “Jesus, I just want to die.” When he reached down and picked up the coffee table and tipped it on its side, Chase and Jordon lunged for him. He struggled, fighting them tooth and nail but they quickly overpowered him, pressing him down onto the sofa. When Scott finally went motionless, Jordon glanced at Chase, and said, “Let me. Go to bed.”
Chase nodded. He motioned to Amanda and Ramsay, and they quietly left the room.
*
Jordon was grateful that Chase hadn’t challenged him on this. Earlier today, Jordon had told him that no matter what he’d done in the past and with whom, he would never love another. Chase had his heart, and he knew that this Ciel had Scott’s.
He pulled Scott up into his arms and held him. He smelt of gin and sweat. “I’m not letting go,” Jordon told him.
An agonizing sob rose from Scott’s depths, and he gave in to it for a few minutes. The agony was too much for Jordon. He found himself choked with emotion, suddenly afraid, afraid that this could be him if Chase ever stopped loving him.
Finally Scott lay quiet, and Jordon thought that maybe he’d gone to sleep or passed out. Jordon was surprised when he heard him speaking. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“What are you apologizing for exactly?”
Scott raised his head. He met his eyes. “I’m a fucking mess.” He laughed a little, wiping the tears off his face.
Jordon nodded, then smiled. “Yep, no argument there.”
Scott’s hand came up and touched Jordon’s hair. He searched his eyes. “God, you feel good. I’d forgotten how good.”
“Scott, I…” Jordon wiggled a little as he felt a hand cover his thigh.
“I’m so horny,” he whispered. “I miss Ciel so much, Jordon, and I still remember.” A hand clamped on Jordon’s neck and before he knew it Scott was kissing him. It was a deep, sensuous kiss meant to go much further.
Jordon was lulled into that hot man kiss for a moment before he suddenly woke from its spell and he pushed him away. “Scott,” he said, breathless. “What in fuck are you doing?”
Scott turned around on the sofa and put his face in his hands. “I don’t know.”
“Listen to me.” Jordon yanked his hands away from his face. “There’s only one man that’s going to scratch that itch of yours, and it’s not me.”
He nodded. “I know that.”
“I love Chase.”
“I know that too. It’s only a fuck.”
“You’re right. It’s only a fuck, a fuck which wouldn’t mean anything to either one of us, except that it would kill Chase. You want me to change places with you on that sofa?”
“No,” he groaned.
“Where in fuck is this Ciel now?”
“I think he’s at home. I don’t know.”
“Listen to me, Scott, listen. You can drink yourself into a stupor and fuck every man in this house, but it isn’t going to help. You’re still going to wake up tomorrow morning without him. You need to go to him.”
“I can’t … I’m a total fuck-up, Jordon,” he said. “You know that.”
“No, I don’t know that. But if you believe it, then it must be true. Do you love him or not?”
“Do you have to ask? Jesus Christ!” He stood up.
“Does he love you?”
“I don’t know,” he said, walking over and looking out on the lonely night. “That’s just it, Jordon. I can’t ever be sure. I feel it in my heart, but my head has these doubts.”
“Well, I guess you’ll have decide which part of you to listen to. You need to find him, talk to him.”
“Yeah, I know.” He nodded. “I’m just not ready for that.”
“When I hold Chase in my arms,” Jordon told him, “when I look in his eyes, when I feel him tremble from my touch, it’s not my mind that believes, it’s my heart … my soul.”
A faint smile touched Scott’s lips. “Go upstairs and hold that guy, will ya?” He turned around and looked at him. “Tell him I said he’s one lucky son of bitch. And don’t think I don’t remember what a good fuck you are.”
Jordon smiled. He stood up. “I think I’ll leave that last part out.”
Scott waved him away. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”
Jordon paused for a second at the doorjamb and looked over at him. “Oh, Scott,” he said, his eyes twinkling with mischief, “I seem to remember a few things about you in that department as well.” He rolled his eyes and shook his hand in front of his chest, which caused Scott to give him a slow smile.
“Better go to bed, stud.”
“Um”—he licked his lips…”before I decide a quick roll around on that sofa might be worth it.” He raised a hand at him, and hightailed it upstairs to where Chase was waiting.
* * * *
Jordon’s birthday party went off without a hitch. Take-out pizza and a big chocolate cake. He was pleased. Everyone sang “Happy Birthday” and went out of their way to be cordial.
When Chase and Jordon were just about to leave the next day for their flight to Europe, Amanda held on to her brother for a long time. Jordon stayed with her at the door, holding her, kissing the top of her head. “You know I love you, Amanda,” he said. “I always have.”
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, and nodded. “Me too. I’m sorry for all the time I wasted. I could have been a better sister, a better…”
He shook his head. “It’s okay now. Let’s just look forward to the future.”
She nodded, running a thumb over his cheek. “Handsome,” she said with a smile. “You look like Daddy.”
He made a face.
“He was a miserable old bastard, but he was handsome enough to stop traffic.”
Jordon kissed her again.
“Will you stop on the way back?”
“Maybe. I’ll call you from Europe. Love you,” he said, kissing her again, then running down the steps to get into the taxi beside Chase. They both waved at her.
She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind. Scott kissed her cheek. She turned around and cried a bit against him.
“He’ll be back,” Scott said. “I’m happy to see how much closer you’ve grown. I remember how it was before.”
She nodded, putting her arm around his waist and walking back into the dining room. “Daddy liked to keep us separated. He didn’t want us to get close. But he’s dead now, and Jordon and I have years to love each other.”
Scott nodded. “I’m glad. Jordon is a nice guy. And Chase, well, they really love each other. It’s great to see.”
“Yes,” she said as she poured them each a cup of coffee. “And how are you?”
“I’m feeling a little better,” he said.
“You and Jordon had a talk last night?”
“Yeah. We almost had more than that.” He grinned and raised his eyebrows.
Amanda looked alarmed. “Scott! Chase!”
“I said almost.” He smiled. “He’s too hung up on that big brute, unfortunately.”
She nodded, sipping her coffee. “Good. Jordon makes Chase happy. So, now I find out that you had broken the rules when I was out of town.”
“Huh?”
“You had sex with my brother when I was gone.”
“Oh, that,” he laughed.
“Not ‘oh that.’”
“Amanda, it was years ago.”
She nodded, then grinned. “I suspect it wasn’t the first or the last time you broke the rules.”
&nbs
p; He grinned again, and changed the subject. “I’m going downtown today. Can I borrow a car?”
“Sure.”
“I’m going to try and get my job back, and find a place to…”
“Stay here, Scott. Don’t go back to that place.”
“Amanda, I can’t.”
Their eyes met. “What about Ciel?”
“I have to learn to live without him, because I can’t live with him. I know it’s me now, not him. Ciel told me I was damaged. He was right.”
Amanda couldn’t speak. With her heart in her throat, she watched him get up and walk out.
* * * *
It was late afternoon. Amanda had fallen asleep by the pool. Hunter had asked Amanda about some personal trainer Scott had mentioned to him, and she had set him up with an appointment. He had gone with the driver an hour ago. Ramsay told her that he wanted to watch some movie on television. The house was finally quiet.
When she felt someone nudging her, she blinked her eyes open to see Ramsay leaning over her. “Amanda,” he said. He looked flushed.
“What?” What is it?” She sat up.
“I just saw the most beautiful man. I don’t know who in hell he is, but he’s a walking hard-on … dark hair and eyes like…”
“Ciel,” she said, pushing Ramsay aside. “Where? Where is he?”
“Hello, Amanda,” said a deep male voice with a faint echo of a French accent.
Amanda’s mouth fell open. There he was. He was standing near the open patio door, less than a few feet away, wearing dark sunglasses, his straight black hair blowing softly about his broad shoulders. His square jaw was adorned with a rough shadow, giving the beauty of his exquisite face a sensuous accent. A loose-fitting white tank top profiled his muscular biceps to perfection, hanging over a strategically ripped pair of faded jeans and scuffed black boots. God, she had forgotten what a feast for the eyes he was, and she knew what he kept inside those pants.