by Maggie Cole
We hadn’t left the house, but we also hadn’t been alone. When the nurse finally left, I walked out of the bedroom in heels and turned to Jack. “Go grab the sunscreen.”
He raised a brow at me in question.
“It’s a beautiful summer day, let’s go for a swim.”
He laughed. "Let’s go get our suits on.”
I laughed harder. Grabbing my phone, I hit the music button and Nelly’s “Hot in Here” came on.
Jack stared at me in surprise, as his dimple peeked out.
I slowly removed my shirt and threw it on the couch, sauntered over to the staircase that led to his rooftop pool, and swayed my hips. “Since when do we need our suits?”
With a sly grin on his face, he licked his lips.
I sauntered up the stairs, and one by one, threw different pieces of my clothes off. Jack stared at me, enjoying the show.
At the top, I stepped out of my panties and threw them over the rail to him. He laughed, then quickly ran up the stairs.
I tossed my heels to the side, ran to the pool, and dove in. Jack quickly undressed, then jumped in. He pulled me into his body and embraced me for a long kiss.
“Mmm, I missed this,” I stroked his hair.
“Swimming naked or my naked body?” he teased.
I pretended to think about it, and he tickled me.
The sun felt good. The noise of the city was far below. The cool, crisp water made me feel weightless. I floated on my back for a few minutes and felt the warm sunshine on my face. Then I dipped underwater and started doing handstands and somersaults.
Jack laughed. “Maybe we should put you in synchronized swimming?”
“Ha, ha!” I plunged into the water and did another handstand.
We swam for maybe an hour. We made out now and again.
I pulled back from a kiss and grinned.
“What?”
“I like making out with you.”
He gave me his dimpled grin. “Feeling is mutual. But I’m becoming a prune. You want to get out for a bit?”
“Sure.”
We went to the cabana, laid in the bed, and I snuggled into Jack’s arms while he stroked my back. I turned to face him and grazed his hard-on.
He kept caressing my back and smiled at me.
“Jack, what’s up?”
He raised his eyebrows at me in question.
“Since when do you let me only lie in your arms naked, unless we’ve just had a mind-blowing orgasm?”
“You’re recovering. I don’t want to hurt you more. Trust me. This is kind of torturous for me.”
“I’m fine, Jack. Let’s play.”
Jack wasn’t sure. I rolled on top of him. “I’m serious.”
“Maddie, I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t think it’s a good idea while you are still bruised up.”
I put my forehead to his, and gazed at him in the eyes, as I had so many times before. We hadn’t discussed anything since the hospital. We kept things light...easy. Numerous times, I woke up with night terrors, but I refused to talk about it when Jack would pull me in his arms.
I choose my words carefully. “I need to feel you, Jack. I need to know you are mine and nothing has changed.”
“Nothing has changed. I love you. I just don’t want to hurt you.”
I fidgeted with my hands. “I know you love me, but I need you to fix my internal bruises.”
There. I admitted out loud that the pain I felt outside couldn’t even compare to the pain I felt inside.
He pulled my chin up. A slow realization overtook his face that I wasn’t okay.
“I need you to bring me back to life, Jack.”
He scanned my eyes, nodded slowly, and pulled me into his lips as I slipped into a crouched position and almost brought him into me.
He stopped me and whispered, “Not yet, baby. I want to see your eyes roll first, and feel your body shake in my mouth. I need it as much as you do.”
“Okay,” I whispered and moved my body away from his bulge. My body pulsed, wet with desire for what I knew only he could give me.
He flipped me on my back and started to nibble on my ear gently. His lips fluttered on my neck, and he gave me butterfly kisses on my collarbone. Like always, Jack knew all my sweet spots and made my insides tingle with every kiss, every touch, every caress.
I moaned loudly. It had felt like forever.
“That’s my girl,” Jack praised me. His lips fluttered over my breasts, as he carefully avoided the area where Mike bit me. I pushed it out of my mind and pushed him into my bruise. Jack jerked his head to look at me.
“I need it, Jack.” I pushed his head back to my bruise. He hesitated, then gently licked it with his tongue, and sucked it gently with his mouth.
I arched my back, and wanted him to take in more, as his lips on my bruise sent a sweet pain through my breast—pain that I wanted—what I needed. I pushed his head on it harder and tried to erase the memory that anyone, besides Jack, had ever touched me.
As I inhaled sharply from the pain, a single tear shed on my cheek. I released my hand from his head and quickly wiped it away, so Jack wouldn't see it and stop. "I've missed you," I whispered.
"I've missed you." He moved to my other breast, lightly caressed my areola with his tongue, and sent a thrill of signals through my body, as my bruise slowly stopped throbbing.
Jack brought his face to mine to check on me. He took my lips in his and reminded me that I was the only person in his world.
I ground my body on his dick. “You feel so good, Jack.”
He nibbled my ear again, “You’re so delicious, Maddie.”
His fingers moved gently in me—one, then two, then three—and caused me to lose my breath.
“That’s my baby. You need more?”
“Please, Jack.” I drilled my eyes into his, as I wanted to see the familiarity of his face when I begged him.
Jack’s thumb swiped my clit.
“Ahh.” My breath hitched.
Jack slid his fingers into his mouth.
“Taste your deliciousness.” He put his fingers in my mouth where I desperately sucked and tried to push the flashback, of Mike jabbing his fingers in my body and then my mouth, out of my mind.
He removed his fingers and kissed my mouth. The taste of my wetness on his tongue made my cunt clench with desire.
Jack moved gracefully down my body as he kissed my stomach and mound. Skillfully, he began to lick and suck my sex, while I moaned and called out his name.
He brought me to the edge, then stopped me from falling. My body ached and ached, as it waited for my high, and I begged him, “Jack, please, I need it so much.” I greedily snatched his head in my hands and forcefully pushed it into my body.
Groaning, he swiped his finger over my G-spot, slowly sucking while he flicked his tongue, creating a lazy ripple that sped up, and became a hurricane within me.
Over and over, my nerves spun in sweet ecstasy, as my body soared higher and higher, flying as only Jack knew how to make me.
He kissed his way back up and let me relax from my orgasm. But I wanted to feel whole and needed all of him. As I slipped my body onto him, I whispered. “I need more, Jack,” then pulled him into me to claim his mouth and taste my orgasm.
My body throbbed against his fullness, and he immediately started to hit my sweet spot.
Slightly dizzy, I closed my eyes and held on to him, digging my nails into his back, trying to forget that anything had ever happened to me and that any evil existed.
"Open your eyes, Maddie."
I opened my eyes.
He pushed my feet to my buttocks, just like the first night we met. "I want to feel you tremble under me."
Like always, Jack knew exactly what I needed. And what I needed was to feel Jack's body on top of mine as I lost all control and forgot about what Mike's body felt like on me.
"Closer," I whispered as I grabbed his ass and pressed him further into me.
"So delicious,
" he whispered in my ear and sucked a bit harder this time on my neck.
"Jack, I'm close." My voice was hoarse.
He lifted his face to mine. "Stay a bit longer."
My breath was labored, and I refocused.
His forehead pressed to mine. "You feel so good, Maddie."
"I missed you, Jack." A single tear ran down my cheek.
"I missed you," he whispered, as every cell in my body raged with heat, ready to explode, but couldn't fully forget that anyone but him had ever touched me.
"Jack...I..." My eyes started to roll, my body convulsed, as Jack pumped hard into my body. Our bodies trembled together as one, as we cried out each other's names, and at that brief moment, only Jack and I existed.
When it was over, he slowly pulled out of me and rolled onto his back while he held me in his arms.
We didn’t say much at first. Jack stroked my back, and his heartbeat slowed. His strong arms kept me close, and I felt like there was no one else in the world besides Jack and me.
Jack spoke first. Slowly, carefully, he found his words. “I’ve been thinking.”
I gazed up at him. “Hmm?”
“I think I need to see someone, and I think you should too.”
He wants to see someone else?
“I don’t want to see anyone else,” I blurted out, as my heart raced in panic, and tears formed in my eyes.
Jack sat up. “No, that isn’t what I mean. I don’t want anyone but you.”
I blinked back my tears. "I don’t understand.”
Jack, very carefully, admitted, “I have a lot of flashbacks...baggage I need to get past. I never went to therapy after the break-in...when we lost the baby and...” he swallowed hard. “I can’t get images out of my head of the night I discovered the trafficking...”
He stopped. I knew there was more.
“Go on.”
“And you...”
A tear slipped down my face. Jack kept picturing whatever he saw Mike do to me on the camera. “So you don’t see me the same?”
“That’s not it, Maddie. If anything, I know, without a doubt, that if I lost you, I would die. But I don’t want to keep living in fear and pain. I think I need some professional help and I’m worried about you. It won’t hurt to talk to someone just to see if it helps.” Jack stroked my hair.
“I’m fine, Jack. Just keep loving me, and I’ll be fine.”
The last thing I want to do is have to talk to a stranger and relive that nightmare.
Jack shook his head. “You aren’t okay, and I can’t fix it. As much as I want to...I would give anything to...but I can’t. I’ve been through this before, Maddie. I’m scared to death that if we don’t both deal with our pasts, then I will lose you. I can’t handle that.”
I continued to fidget with my hands in my lap. Jack softly tilted my chin up. “Will you go to a few sessions for me? You don’t even have to talk when you get there if you don’t want to.”
Jack’s eyes begged me to say yes.
I closed my eyes; the different parts of my abduction flashed through my head, like a slow-motion movie reel that kept playing over and over.
“Please, Maddie.”
Do I really want to talk about all this with a stranger? I opened my eyes. “Why can’t I just talk to you about it?”
Jack sighed. “You can talk to me about anything, Maddie. But you aren’t able to. Every time you have a nightmare, or I see you have a flashback, I ask you about it. But you won’t talk to me about it.”
“That’s because I don’t want to hurt you,” I blurted out.
Jack stroked my cheek. “I know, and that’s why we both need to go see a professional, sweetheart.”
Fresh tears bottled up in my eyes, and I sobbed uncontrollably. “Hey... shhh…” He wrapped me into the cocoon of his body.
“It hurts so bad, Jack.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
He kissed my head. “I know, baby, I know.”
I cried in Jack’s arms for a long time. He patiently held me and repeatedly told me how much he loved me.
I finally picked my head off his chest. "Jack, I’ll go if you want me to.”
“Thank you. I do.”
26
Jack
With clammy hands and a flipping stomach, I opened the door and motioned for Maddie to enter.
Maddie promised me she would go to counseling, and I went as well. We both had a few appointments on our own, and the counselor wanted us to start having joint sessions in addition to our individual ones.
Halfway through the door, Maddie stopped and put her hand over mine. "Jack, your hand is shaking."
I hadn't even realized.
Maddie stepped back outside and grabbed my other hand. "We're early. Let's go sit down for a minute."
Blowing out a big breath of air, I let her lead me into the quiet courtyard and over to a bench. She sat down and patted the seat next to her.
Once I sat down, she stood up and repositioned herself on my lap. Taking my face in her hands, she stared into my eyes. "What's going on, Jack?"
"I'm nervous."
She smiled at me and ran her hand on my head above my ear. "I can see that."
"You aren't nervous?" I asked her.
She kissed me quickly. "A little. What are you nervous about?"
I looked away from her, blew out more air, and tried to stop my leg from bouncing.
She pulled my face back toward hers. "Jack?"
I blurted out, "I'm afraid you might see how dark my thoughts are."
Maddie adjusted her body, so it was on both my legs, and I couldn't bounce anymore. She was quiet for a moment but continued to stare into my nervous eyes. Finally, she said, "Jack, there isn't anything you can say that’s going to scare me away."
"You say that, but you don't know what goes through my head, and every session I go to, more and more darkness comes out."
"It's the same for me."
I squinted my eyes at her. "There's nothing dark about you, Maddie."
She laughed softly. "You need to take me off your pedestal. I stayed with a human trafficker for six years who verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually abused me. Oh yeah, don't forget I was kidnapped." She winked at me.
"That's not funny."
Smiling at me again, she stroked my cheek. "I know it isn't, but my point is that we all have some darkness in us. We all are living life, and stuff happens that molds us into who we are. Just because you have dark thoughts based on experiences you've had, that doesn't make you a dark person."
"Maybe it does."
She shook her head. "No, it doesn't. And don't for one minute think I don't know who you are, Jack. I know the real you, the one who no one really knows. Besides, you've already shown me your safe room, so I know dark thoughts are running through your mind. Plus, after what happened to me, there is no doubt I've added more."
I pulled her forehead to mine. "You haven't added anything but light into my life."
"And you've added nothing but light to mine. Nothing you can say in any session or outside of any session will ever change that." Her blue eyes drove into mine, and I saw her light, her honesty, and her love for me.
A calm started to sweep over me. I leaned in and kissed her as she grabbed the back of my head and pushed me into her.
We sat on the bench, softly kissing each other. Between kisses, I whispered to her, "So you know, I'll never take you off my pedestal."
She laughed. "Well, you're on mine."
"I'll never stop putting you first, Maddie."
She pulled back. "I was wrong to tell you to put me first."
"No, you weren't."
She put her fingers over my lips. "I was. You shouldn't be number two."
"I've never felt like number two."
"You haven't?"
I shook my head. "Never. You always make me feel like the most special person on earth."
She looked at me like she didn't believe me. "Really?"
"
Yes. I think we are each other's number ones."
She kissed me again. "I like that thought."
My alarm started to go off, indicating that our joint session was about to begin. I took another big breath. "We need to go or we’re going to be late."
Maddie got off my lap, and I put my arm around her waist. We walked back to the front door. I went to grab the door handle, and she put her body in front of mine to stop me.
Looking down at her, I waited for her to speak.
She reached up, pulled my neck down to hers, and put her forehead against mine. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in close.
"Remember the first night I met you, when I told you I would take whatever you'd give me?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"That won't do anymore. I need all of you, Jack. The good, the bad, all of it. Every single ounce."
As I stared into the eyes of the most beautiful woman on earth, I wondered for the millionth time how I had gotten so lucky. And at that moment, something impossible happened. I fell more in love with her.
"I love you, Maddie. More than anything on earth, I love you more."
She smiled at me. "I already know that. And that's how much I love you."
The door opened, and our counselor stood in front of us. "Everything okay? Are you ready for your session?"
I kissed Maddie, then looked at our counselor. "Everything is perfect."
Epilogue
Over the next few months, I started to feel better. Jack and I both kept going to separate and joint sessions, with Sarah Shepard, the Domestic Violence Counselor, that Tom recommended to Jack.
Apparently, Tom had encouraged Jack, for quite a while, to see Sarah, once he found out about the human trafficking party Jack witnessed.
It was fall now, and New York was full of beautiful colors, and the air had turned crisp. As I walked around Chelsea absentmindedly, I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks, as I realized I was in front of my apartment and hadn’t been back since my abduction. I had subconsciously moved into Jack's.
My heart sped up. My mouth went dry. I started to turn to walk away but stopped. Slowly, I turned and walked in.
The same security officer that ran the day shift was there. “Well, hello, Ms. Burns. It’s so nice to see you back.”