* * *
Hayden had to force himself not to throw his phone across the field. A smashed phone wouldn’t fix his and Riley’s relationship. Correction, ex-relationship. Instead, he shoved it in the pocket of his khaki pants, feeling a seam in the fabric rip. He didn’t care. The fury inside him took over his innate ability to gather his emotions and set them aside. His greatest fear had come true.
All this time he thought he was making headway with Riley. That she felt the same about him as he did about her. That they might have a future together some day. Of course he knew he had his work cut out for him, and she was not only worth it, but he’d hoped he was getting closer to her heart. Then she wrecked that hope with a few choice words. She was going to leave Maple Falls the same way she’d arrived—closed, distant, self-protected. The only thing left for him to do was piece his heart back together.
He paused, wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his hand. Not all of his perspiration was due to the heat and humidity. He took in a couple deep breaths and counted to ten. That settled him a bit, cleared the red flames of anger in his brain so he could sort out his thoughts. He pulled out his phone again and texted Doug. He used his personal number only in emergency situations.
Having a bad time. Can we set up an appointment this week? Hayden
He stared at his cell phone, not expecting an answer right away. Just reaching out to his counselor calmed him enough that he was able to see how much Riley was hurting. And what had he done? Piled on the hurt. He’d seen the pain in her eyes before she left, which was why he turned his back to her. He didn’t want to cave in. Not this time. It was time for him to face reality. He’d wanted to earn her trust, but how could he do that when she refused to give him a chance? She wasn’t the only one who was in pain.
His phone pinged and a text popped up.
Sure. I’m free tomorrow morning at 8.
Hayden responded, then set a reminder of the appointment in his phone and another to tell his father he would be going to work late. He probably didn’t need the reminders. How could he forget any of this happened? But he was used to doing it for his counseling appointments, and old habits died hard with him. He put his phone back in his pocket and waited for Tanner, who showed up a short while later in his Jeep. Fortunately his friend didn’t say anything as he drove him back to the church and parked next to his Subaru.
“Hey, dude, if you need me, give me a call,” Tanner said.
Hayden turned to him and nodded. “Thanks.” Then he got out of the vehicle and opened his own car door. Instead of leaving right away, he turned on the air and sat there, letting it cool his skin.
He knew Riley would follow through on her promise to leave. She probably had one foot out the door the moment Tracey showed up. He believed love could overcome a lot of things, but not if the other person wasn’t at least willing to meet partway. Riley obviously couldn’t. Or wouldn’t. Either way it didn’t matter.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” he muttered as he shifted into gear and left the church. Cutting the cord now would save a lot of heartache.
He couldn’t imagine his heart hurting more than it did right now.
Chapter 16
Erma faced her daughter for the first time in fifteen years. She sat on one side of the kitchen table, Tracey on the other. Riley was right: her daughter looked awful.
If she was sober, it was a recent sobriety. Erma could see the drug scars on her arms that she tried to hide with a too thin burgundy sweater that was obviously secondhand, if not third. Her heart started to break, but then she shored it back up again. Tracey had made her own decisions, and she had to face the consequences.
Still, a mother’s heart could never be completely hardened toward a child, and that was why Erma had agreed to talk to her after the service today, despite the doubtful looks of the BBs, who had surrounded her the moment the service ended.
“How is Riley doing?” Tracey asked, pressing her fingers against the vinyl tablecloth.
Erma noticed her short, dirty nails and wondered when her daughter last had a real bath or shower. It was hard to tell from the scent of smoke wafting from her clothing.
“Riley is well. At least she was until you showed up.”
“You didn’t tell me she was here the last time I called. I thought she was still in New York,” Tracey said.
“How did you know she was there?”
Tracey put her hands in her lap. “I have ways of keeping tabs on my daughter. Not everyone in this town has turned their back on me.”
Guilt and manipulation. Erma was used to it, but it never failed to rile her. She calmed her emotions, briefly wondering who in Maple Falls was still in touch with Tracey. Then she realized she didn’t want to know.
“I’m glad to hear that you have some support,” she said, meaning it.
Tracey averted her gaze, her thin shoulders slumping. “That’s more than you ever gave me.” She wandered around the kitchen. The walls were bright and fresh, thanks to Riley, who had spent Friday night after work applying the light, bright-yellow paint to the walls. “House looks nice. So does the shop. Obviously you’re putting a lot of money into both places.”
Erma steeled herself for what was coming. Tracey couldn’t get through to her on the phone, so now she was here to manipulate her in person.
“What do you want, Tracey?” Erma knew the answer to the question already. Her daughter wanted money. Money that she would probably blow on drink, drugs, and men. She’d done it enough while raising Riley, leaving the child to her own devices. Erma’s heart pinched. I should have acted sooner. “I’ve already given you plenty of money.”
“You mean my inheritance?” Tracey met her gaze, some of the steel returning to her eyes. “It wasn’t that much.”
“It was a large sum of money.” Erma clenched her jaw.
“And it’s been fifteen years. How did you expect me to live off a few thousand dollars?”
“It was more than a few, and I expected you to get a job so you could support yourself.” She fought for composure. “You still haven’t told me what you want.”
“Believe it or not, Mother, I don’t want anything from you. I came here to tell you that I’m living in a halfway house in Hot Springs.”
Erma nodded. She’d heard this before, too, more than once. “I see.”
“I promise I’m going to get clean this time. I swear.” When Erma didn’t respond, she scoffed. “You don’t believe me. You never do.”
“How can I? You’ve lied to me too many times to count. Not to mention how your choices and behavior affected your father.”
Tracey pulled on her fingers, not looking at Erma. “I should have known you’d bring him up again.”
“He was your father—”
“I never knew my real father. Or my real mother. But I’ll admit, Dad was the better parent.”
An arrow straight to the heart. Gus had always had a soft spot for Tracey, and there were a few times when she was growing up that their relationship had been decent—when Erma was the stricter disciplinarian. Then Gus had died, and that affected Tracey deeply. Which was the only reason Erma didn’t tell her to leave right now. Her daughter truly believed Gus was the better parent. In hindsight, maybe he was. Maybe things would have been different if he were still here. I wish you were, my love.
Tracey rubbed her nose. “Look, I didn’t have to tell you what was going on with me.”
“No, you didn’t. So why are you now? And why were you calling me before?”
“Because I need some help.”
Erma leaned back against her chair, her leg aching more than it had in weeks. For a short moment she actually thought Tracey might have changed. That her daughter was here to reestablish their relationship, not to ask for more money.
“Just a few bucks,” Tracey continued, leaning so far against the table Erma heard the legs of the chair scrape against the wooden floor.
“The halfway house should cover your needs
,” Erma said, keeping her voice as emotionless as if she were talking to a piece of wood.
“It’s not enough.” Tracey shot up from the chair and started to pace, rubbing her stubby fingers together faster. “I have court fees to pay. Restitution to some people I stole checks from.”
Erma shook her head. She couldn’t handle hearing a list of her daughter’s most recent crimes. Not right now. “Tracey, did the court order you to the halfway house?”
She nodded. “It was either that or jail. If I don’t go, then it will be jail. But if I pay off my debts and have a solid place to live, then they might let me go free.”
Her daughter looked so forlorn that Erma almost lost her senses and got up and hugged her. But she had to be firm, just like she was fifteen years ago. “Then go to the halfway house. Get clean. Get a job. Then you can pay back the court fees.”
Tracey threw up her hands. “I can’t believe you’re so selfish! You’re rich and you can’t spare anything else for me, your only daughter.”
“I gave you what you asked for!” Erma sprang up from the chair, a blast of pain shooting down her leg. She ignored it. “I gave you the money you wanted, and you promised me you would never come back for Riley. You swore you would never see her again.”
“What?”
Erma spun around, horrified to see Riley standing there. Oh God. “Riley . . . Sweetheart.” She moved toward her granddaughter. “Let me explain—”
“She paid me off.” Tracey walked over to Riley, smiling fully for the first time, revealing several gaping holes where teeth used to be. “She said she would give me the money they had set aside for my college fund, plus some of Dad’s inheritance, if I left you with her and never came back.”
“Is that true?” Riley’s eyes filled with shock as she turned to Erma.
“Yes, but there were reasons—”
“She thinks I’m a bad influence.” Tracey laughed. “And she’s right.” Then she moved closer to Riley. “But I’m getting straight now. I need a little help. You’re an artist, right? Living in New York—that has to be expensive. I’ve never been to New York, but it sounds exciting. We could get an apartment together. Hang out. You can show your old mother the sights.” She kept smiling. “We could get to know each other again.”
Riley recoiled. “No.”
Tracey’s smile turned into an ugly straight line. “Eh, I can’t cross the state line anyway.” She turned and looked at Erma. “Are you gonna help me or not?”
Tears welled in Erma’s eyes. “No, Tracey. The only person who can help you, is you.”
She kept her hard gaze on Erma for so long, Erma thought her daughter was trying to stab her with her eyes. Before she could stop her, Tracey turned to Riley.
“Did she ever tell you the truth?”
Riley’s eyes, so much like Tracey’s, turned to stone. “About the money? No.”
“I’m not talking about money. It was mine anyway. She owed that to me.” Tracey shot a vicious look at Erma again. “I’m talking about how she and Gus weren’t my biological parents.”
“What?” Riley’s expression morphed into confusion.
“That’s right. They adopted me.” She laughed, and it sounded unhinged. “I guess you’ve been lied to twice. Not a very parental thing to do, is it?” Then she turned to Erma. “If something bad happens to me, it’s your fault. You understand? It will be on your head, Mother.” She stormed out the back door.
Erma stared at the door, flinching as it slammed shut. She closed her eyes, trying to get her bearings. She was too old for this. She had gone through it too many times. Then the reality of what just happened hit her like a stone to her chest.
“Riley, let me explain—”
“I heard enough.” Riley backed away. “You didn’t want her to see me anymore. She wanted money. You made a deal with your adopted daughter.”
“I love you, Riley. I was happy to have you here with me at long last.”
“Then why didn’t you come get me before? And why didn’t you tell the truth about Tracey?” Riley cried. “If you wanted me here so badly, why didn’t you . . .” She gasped. “Why didn’t you save me?”
Erma started to cry. “I wanted to. More than anything. And I should have. I should have gotten you sooner. But she had the courts on her side. I hired a lawyer, paid thousands in legal fees, only to have them tell me that you weren’t in physical danger, and that if I took Tracey to court, she would win. I didn’t want to put you through that.”
“You should have.” Riley’s voice turned cold. “Just because she didn’t hit me doesn’t mean I wasn’t abused.”
Her granddaughter might as well have stabbed her in the heart, her words hurt so much. “I know, sugar. I know. And I’ll live with that for the rest of my life. But you must believe me. Tracey’s adopted, yes, but that didn’t mean your Poppy and I loved her any less. She had problems . . . lots of problems. We tried to deal with them the best we could, but we failed. Then when Tracey showed up with you on my doorstep, it was an answer to prayer, not a deal or a payoff. Not to me.” She started to sob. “It was a miracle.”
* * *
Riley’s heart didn’t budge. She had shut it down almost completely after she left Hayden, intending to come here and go straight to her room to start packing. She’d even searched on her phone for an available flight, only to find out they were full until Tuesday. She would have to wait until then, but she would at least have her bags packed. If they were, she wouldn’t be tempted to change her mind and stay in Maple Falls.
Then she’d overheard her mother and grandmother arguing, and her world crashed around her again. Mimi, the one person she thought she could trust in this entire world, had betrayed her.
A part of her wasn’t surprised Tracey was adopted. That explained a lot of things, especially the fact that Tracey wasn’t anything like Mimi, in looks or personality. But there had been plenty of opportunities for Mimi to tell Riley the truth. Not just about the adoption, but about the money.
A volcano of emotions erupted inside her. The memories of the times she’d cried alone in strange places, wishing her grandmother would rescue her, only to be disappointed again and again. This was just another in a long list of disappointments and pain. That she could feel anything at all right now was a marvel.
Then suddenly everything shut off inside until she was numb. She looked at Mimi, who was leaning against the table, pain evident on her face.
“I’m leaving Tuesday,” Riley said, the chill back in her tone. “I already booked my flight.”
“Riley, please.” Mimi held her hands together, almost begging. “Sit down. We need to talk this through.”
“No, we don’t.” She turned and went upstairs, quickly packed her things, and came back down. Mimi was in the living room, wincing and limping more than usual as she made her way to the recliner. She practically fell into it.
Seeing her grandmother suffering almost stopped Riley. But she firmed up her resolve.
“Where are you going?” Mimi asked.
“I don’t know.” She opened the door. “I’ll figure it out.”
“Riley—”
She let the door shut as she walked out.
Her eyes were dry as she walked down the road, the suitcase dragging behind her. As she made her way down her grandmother’s road in the muggy heat, her mind began to clear a bit. Where was she going to go? She still had to figure out how to get to the airport, although that would be solved easily with an Uber. But her flight wasn’t until Tuesday. And she was almost back to where she’d been financially when she arrived in Maple Falls. She’d only received two paychecks from Mimi and was slated to get a third this week. Most of that had gone to buying an airline ticket on short notice, and she had put a little bit more into buying art supplies and canvases for the artwork she was going to make for the store. That was never going to happen now.
She walked at least another mile, until she was so hot and sweaty and thirsty she had to stop. S
he couldn’t walk aimlessly around Maple Falls for the next two days. She pulled out her phone and dialed.
“Riley?” Bea’s confused voice came out of the speaker.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” She’d figure out where she would land tomorrow night later.
“Is something wrong with Erma?”
“No.” What was one more lie in a lifetime of lies?
A pause. “Well, of course you can.”
“Would you mind picking me up?” She gave Bea her location.
“I’ll be right there, honey. Won’t take me but a jiff to jump in the car.”
“Thanks.” She turned off her phone and stuck it in her pocket. Emotionless, she moved to a shade tree on the side of the street and waited for Bea. Her heart had been so filled with pain after pushing Hayden away. It was empty now.
She felt . . . nothing.
* * *
The next morning, Riley woke to a huge breakfast spread, more than she could possibly eat. Bacon, eggs, sausage, fresh biscuits slathered in butter, orange juice, coffee, milk, apple turnovers, and blueberry muffins.
“I fixed you a little something,” Bea said, plopping a platter of hotcakes on the table.
“I see.” Riley blanched, still full from the huge meal Bea made last night. One thing she had forgotten about Bea was that the woman cooked when she was upset or nervous. Riley’s suspicion was confirmed when Billy, Bea’s husband, who had somehow stayed thin and wiry for the fifty-three years he and Bea had been married, walked into the kitchen and put his arm around her plump shoulders.
“Looks good, honey.” He kissed her round cheek, then sat down at the table. “Doesn’t it, Riley?”
“Very good.” She didn’t know how she was going to force down even a fraction of this food, but she wasn’t going to reject it either. “Thank you, Bea.”
“You’re welcome.” She sat down and mopped her brow with one of the napkins on the table. “Now, let’s say grace, and then we’ll eat.”
Riley bowed her head, but her mind was as empty as her heart. When the prayer was over, she saw Bea piling food on a plate. She handed it to Billy, who promptly dove in as she began adding food to another plate, then gave it to Riley.
Hooked on You Page 22