Mr. T spoke quietly and calmly. “I remember that. Mia was fine. She wasn’t even hurt. She was merely frightened. Not a scratch or a bruise. Your mom told me how sorry she was that she had put you in that situation in the first place.
“Mia didn’t like to be held back. Even your mom had a hard time holding her if she really wanted to get away. I bet in all the anxiety, and emotion, and even joy that Mia was okay; I bet your mom never told you how sorry she was that she had put you in that situation. She was sorry though. We talked about it that same day. Weren’t you there when we talked about it?”
Viz shook her head. “No. Dad was aware I was super upset. He took me out for ice cream. I think he made a point of talking about other things. To take my mind off almost killing Mia. He never mentioned it. Nobody ever mentioned it again. Until just now.”
Mr. T got up and walked over to Viz and hugged her. Viz cried. It was a good cry. It was a cathartic cry. After a while Mr. T spoke up. “You did not almost kill Mia. You were five Viz. And you were tasked beyond your capability. Even your mom wasn’t exactly at fault. We make decisions all the time. Sometimes we make poor decisions. We’re human. It can all get so ... complicated.”
Viz smiled. “Thanks Grandad. But that’s the point with ROTC. I don’t want to be tasked beyond my capability.”
Mr. T smiled. “Of course not. But you’re not five any more. You truly are a natural born leader. I can’t think of a single thing beyond your capability.”
Sometimes a deep wound can be healed just like that. Not all the time. But there are wonderful occasions such as this. A process started by those who love the people in their life. Over the next few weeks Viz ended up talking to her grandad about the topic a few more times. She talked to her mom about it. She talked to her dad.
They were so sorry that they hadn’t done a better job dealing with the trauma at the time it happened. Viz talked to Para. Para had no recollection of the event. The problem was buried deep, but it had now been brought into the light. That made healing possible. And that is exactly what happened. She did join ROTC. Not because she felt forced into it. With the latent issue resolved, she wanted to join ROTC. She would do anything in her capacity to bring an end to the Darkstar Empire.
Viz was also determined to make the world a better place using that double major in journalism and chemical engineering. Most of her work is taking place at the University of Washington, both the Tacoma and Seattle campuses. Of course, these days most of the work is accomplished online.
Viz decided to focus on an immediate societal need. She decided there was too much waste. Waste and garbage. People needed to understand the situation. That would require journalistic skills. Practical solutions were also needed. That would involve Chemical Engineering.
As is usually the case, knowing the right people can be quite beneficial. Viz had unique access to high-level technologies. She also had direct access to a PhD level research biologist, her very own sister, Para. Combining resource information related to nanite technology, fuel cell technology, and research biology, her company is developing prototypes of small-scale (household) digesters. A large-scale (industrial) matter digester is now in operation. Where does she get the energy?
THE END
THE INTERLUDE WITH ROLL. HIGHLIGHTS.
Roll was not doing well. Rock could recall times when Roll acted as though he was depressed. But he always fought his way back after a few days, maybe a week. This time it was different. Rock tried to remember when he had first noticed something unusual about Roll, this time around. It was hard to pinpoint.
Things had been chaotic of late even without considering Roll. The invasion and all. This time around, Roll’s behavior was more troubling, even bordering on self-destructive. Roll had done one heroic deed after another during the invasion. That wasn’t different. Roll was an amazing person. Even so, some of his actions as a hero were reckless. The drinking was certainly something new.
Rock thought about his mom. He knew she used to drink a lot. But he was so young when she left home. He didn’t remember her very well. His dad didn’t really drink, not much anyway, an occasional beer.
Roll was getting worse. He was showing up late to important meetings. The worst thing, he didn’t seem to care. Any apologies were minimal and even appeared trite. Even his college work was being impacted. Rock had concluded it was time to do something, and soon. Para had been saying the same thing for a while. So had Viz.
It was getting late and Roll wasn’t at the apartment. Again. Rock’s s-loop rang. It was Para. She had called Roll, and he didn’t pick up. Rock confessed he was worried, and that Roll was out late, again. Para wasn’t sure what to do. Viz buzzed into the conversation. It was time to get more involved with the situation, before their break ended, and they all returned to their busy school schedules.
It was time to find Roll and confront him. They walked to the park where Roll often hung with his ... friends. Someone confessed he had been there earlier, but warned them that he wasn’t in a good mood. He had said something about going down by the water.
Rock recalled that Roll had found a nice spot along the beach at Donkey Stream Park. That’s right. Roll had ported Para there during the bug commando raid at Mr. T’s house. It was getting late. It was too far to walk in their present mood. Should we port over? No, it would probably be better to just drive. They arrived at the park and looked around, but Roll was nowhere to be found.
Rock decided to give a shout. “Hey, Roll! You here?”
Roll called back. “No. I just want to be alone.” His friends walked over to his spot.
Rock was insistent. “Come on Roll. It’s getting late. Let’s get some rest before tomorrow’s meeting.”
Roll didn’t turn around. He just sat looking out at the water. “No. I’m fine here. I think I’ll call in sick tomorrow. Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Para was getting a little mad. “Quit feeling sorry for yourself Roll. Your antics are starting to catch up with you.”
Roll grumbled. “Oh great, the whole gang’s here. You’re wasting your time. Go and save the planet again or something.”
Viz was worried. “Roll, we all care about you. Please come with us. You need help.”
Roll mumbled. “Physician heal thyself.”
Rock didn’t know what Roll was talking about but it sure sounded as though he had insulted Viz. That pushed Rock’s anger button. He walked over and hoisted Roll to his feet. “Let’s go home and get you sobered up little brother.”
Roll was getting a bit perturbed himself. Little brother, huh? Oh, that’s right. Two is too much. Why don’t they just let me sink into oblivion? His anger dissipated after that. “Leave me alone ... big brother. Or I’ll three stooges you.”
Three stooges. Even though they had been incredibly busy, with the war effort and all, there were frequent downtimes when they weren’t on duty, but had to be available and were on call. During such times they would often watch old videos to keep their spirits up. One of their favorites, of the old slapstick comedy genre, was the Three Stooges.
Rock wasn’t sure what Roll was talking about. “Three stooges me? Roll, you’re messed. Let’s just go.”
Rock moved to take Roll’s arm again. This is how Viz described the next moment to Mr. T.
“As Rock tried to take Roll’s arm to help him to the car, well, I couldn’t believe what happened. If the whole situation wasn’t so tragic it would have been funny. Roll had told Rock to leave him alone or he would three stooges him.
“Anyway, as Rock moved to take Roll by the arm Roll turned and shoved him. It was a gentle shove, nothing mean-spirited really. Just a good push. But then Roll wasn’t there. He was on the ground behind Rock on all fours. He had ported.
“So, Roll shoved Rock over Roll. And Rock ended up on his backside. Roll started laughing like a hysterical maniac. He put the back of his wrist on his forehead and waggled his fingers and hollered that three stooges taunt, woo-woo-woo. Yeah, I gu
ess the whole thing was a little like the Three Stooges. Then he ported away.”
Viz caught up with Roll the next evening at Snake Lake Loop. She knew of another of his secret spots to be alone, along the trail. She found him sitting on a mossy patch overlooking the lake.
Evidently, she had had enough of his antics. Roll spotted her out of the corner of his eye. He held up the bottle, an invitation for a drink. She pushed it away. “Dude, you’ve got to straighten up. You’re messed.”
Roll sounded irritated. “What you going to do about it? Raise your eyebrow at me? Scold me? You always were good at that.” He laughed. Then he stood up and looked at her as though he dared her to do something.
Viz cloaked, moved behind Roll, and uncloaked. “You better straighten up, or we will be mixing. You want that?” Then she cloaked.
Roll ported just behind the spot her voice had come from and gave a little shove. Viz had moved. Roll was acting more and more reckless. What if she had stepped backward? He may have untangled and killed them both.
She cloaked and shoved him from the side, a light shove. Then she reappeared. “You keep porting around like that, you’re going to kill us both.”
Rolls eyes widened, considering what she had said. Yeah, he thought, I can be an idiot sometimes. He ported away.
Roll had messed around with the wrong crowd. These guys were warriors. More to the point though, they loved him. There would definitely be a confrontation. For Roll’s sake there would be a confrontation.
Roll didn’t show up for the meeting the next day. He didn’t even bother to call in sick. It was past time for a loving intervention. The team put a good deal of thought and research into how they could best confront Roll. Mr. T called Roll and asked him to come to the office. It was urgent. Roll agreed to come in.
Roll showed up at the office later in the day. He was actually close to being on time. As requested, Mr. Peabody notified Mr. T of Roll’s arrival. At the same time, Mr. Peabody informed Roll that he should proceed immediately to the small conference room.
As Roll walked toward the room, he took note the windows had been set to opaque. It would be a private talk then. Roll knocked and entered. He was surprised to see the entire Shockwave team, even Muncle. His dad was there. The door was set on auto-close. Mr. T gestured that Roll should take a seat.
Troubled as he was, Roll was still insightful. “I see this is an intervention.” He turned and looked at the door. “I could just port you know.”
Mr. T acknowledged that. “True. We hope you won’t. It’s time to work this out Roll.”
Roll shrugged. “This is nothing new. I’ll work through it.”
Viz wouldn’t have it. “This time is different Roll. You’re hurting yourself. You’re hurting us too. We rely on you Roll. We need you back.”
Roll snapped at Viz. “We rely on you too Viz. You freeze under pressure. I drink a little. We all have our issues. Like you always say, deal with it.”
Viz looked down but then she looked up and had a little smile. “You’re right. But I’ve faced the root cause of my problem. I wish it could have been done a long time ago. Someone could have been killed. The really sad part is, my problem was based on a stupid misunderstanding.
“It should have been resolved when I was five. But it wasn’t. The problem festered for years, all due to that initial misunderstanding. And it has weighed me down like a millstone. But I’ve been set free Roll. Really, I have. And you can be too.”
It was quiet for a while. It was an uncomfortable silence. But everyone could see that Roll was doing some thinking. He finally spoke up. “How did you do it? Did Mr. T delve you? Whatever your situation, mine is different.”
We were all a little uncomfortable. On top of the general circumstances of the intervention, Roll’s dad didn’t know any specifics about their abilities, like delving. A lot could come out during the meeting. Maybe he would shrug-off any unusual terms as youthful slang. Still.
Roll went on. “I understand my issue. I can read a psychology book. At times I realize it’s stupid to let it bother me so much. I should be able to work through it. But it doesn’t seem to go away. I even know my antics are a cry for help. So, I get this. I can see all of that, but I still act like an idiot.”
He looked at his dad, keeping his features hard, not willing to let a single tear roll. But his voice was sedate. “I heard you and mom arguing just before she left. All those years ago. I understand it’s my fault she left. No doubt, I’m the reason she turned to booze. Two is too much.”
A tear started to run down his dad’s face. “Oh son, you been carrying that all these years? I’m so sorry. Whatever you thought, you got it all wrong. I loved your mom dearly. I did. But she was so troubled. She had a drinking problem before you were a twinkle in our eye. I thought we could get past it. I tried to help her get past it.
“She loved the both of you in her own way. She truly did. But she couldn’t even handle her own life. Looking back, it might be we shouldn’t have had a family. But look at you and your brother. Look at you! And I know more than you think I know too. I’ll just say that...”
Roll’s dad was thinking back to that time so long ago. “Two is too much. I don’t know about that part. You mean something like one would have been okay? But two was too much. Twins.
“I think I understand. Tom is the older, so you thought you were the apple that upset the cart. Your mom went off about all sorts of things. I don’t rightly know what was going on in her mind leading up to her leaving.
“I can say true, having you both was the opposite of what you’re saying. The two of you hardly needed any attention at all. You had each other. You were probably the easiest kids any parent ever had. I mean it. Your mom just ... she was just so lost.
“Any joy she did have, it was mostly because of you and Tom. I would have thought that should have been enough for her. It sure has been that way for me. I love you son. I can’t imagine the world without you.”
Para said without thinking, “There wouldn’t be a world without you. The antimatter bombs? How many times have you pulled the team through? How many times?” Para stopped talking, but she started counting on her fingers. Then she threw her hands in the air. Not enough fingers.
Roll’s dad was still thinking hard about that night. “It was a hard night. Dozed off. Woke up in the same spot the next morning. I’m so sorry Roll. I should have come and checked in on you boys.”
That intervention was a very good start for Roll. Still, his wounded soul would need more attention.
Throughout the years Roll had tried to work through the painful memory. He allowed the terrible memory, with the pain, to surface every once in a while. He understood intuitively he should deal with it. But the pain was deep; difficult to handle. Shove it down, deal with it at another time. Perhaps time would soften the scar. But the hurt did not diminish over time.
A casual statement might be made, a certain facial expression noticed. Those could be misinterpreted by Roll. The hurt lived on and festered in deep hidden places in his soul.
At times he was angry with his mom. He would think, I’m glad she left. Then he would feel guilty about that; about thinking such things. She was his mom. At other times he was sad she left. It was his fault after all, or so he thought.
At other times he was angry with his dad. Why had his dad not fought for him? His dad should have countered his mom’s statement. He should have said: One is NOT enough! And why did he let their mom leave? Couldn’t he stop her?
Way down deep he may have envied Rock just a little. Rock was enough, Roll was too much to handle! To his credit that envy was a small thing. He did know this was not Rock’s fault. Eventually, Roll chose some wrong paths to cope with the pain.
No doubt the constant high level of stress surrounding the war had served to exacerbate Roll’s hurt. But he had good friends. He had real friends. After that day Roll was far along the road to healing. Healing had always been available to Roll. He had known
that all along, deep down. Healing seems to happen best in community. It is difficult to find healing apart from others.
Para had a friend who had gone to a place, was still going regularly, a place called Celebrate Healing. Or, maybe the name involved something about recovery. Anyway, Para suggested Roll might give it a try. Roll wasn’t sure about needing recovery. He didn’t think he was actually addicted to anything. Para said she knew there was help there for substance abuse. But not only for that. The intent was to address much more.
She remembered the short description her friend had given. It was a place for anyone who wanted to effectively deal with hurts, habits, and hang-ups. That sounded pretty good to Roll. He decided to give it a try. His friends will continue to follow up, to make sure he is okay. To help him be okay. We’ll have to wait and see. Be brave in your willingness to help. Be wise in your effort to help.
THE END
***
Viz had opportunity as a fledgling journalist to write some articles while still at University. You might find this short except interesting. It is from one of her early articles entitled, Staying in Touch with Our Emotions.
Have you ever thought about how much damage is done by hiding our traumas deep within? Those hurts don’t just go away. Deep wounds do not heal when hidden away in dark recesses of our mind; our soul.
There, they have an opportunity to fester and spread like an infection. Perhaps the wound breeds misunderstanding. Or the infection promotes another condition such as jealousy, self-doubt, anger, envy, broken relationships, depression, and more.
That is why we should be ever mindful of wounds, even when they have no physical cause. We should be mindful so as not be controlled by them. We should examine our hurts to be sure they are healing.
That will cause discomfort. Most often it is wise to allow someone who has knowledge of such things, to help with the healing process. Healing is best done in community.
Battle for Earth Page 31