He thought of what it might be like if Abigail were still alive. Of course if she were, none of it would be happening to begin with. But in every problem he had faced with her by his side, it had been made durable by her presence. She had the sense of humor to turn every negative to positive and the sensibility to understand that whatever it was, it could be gotten through. He sensed those same qualities in Evie. She had been through some things in her past and yet she remained a person of good temper. He admired that.
Thaddeus began to return somewhat to normalcy. He answered his correspondence confidently, insuring all who inquired that he was unshaken and remained as always in control of his affairs. He even dared to return to London, although with different intentions. Instead of taking to cards and the gaming table, he instead went to the theatre and met with associates for dinner. Some continue to speak on the scandal, but he dismissed it as the prattle of confused older man who mistook a minor incident for something far graver.
He felt that word was beginning to turn in his favor. Although it seemed that people no longer believed that he had attacked Lady Teresa, there were still the problems of the other matters, which were known to be true. Drunkenness and gambling were also questionable behaviors and he would not be allowed to dismiss those opinions as easily. He simply changed his behavior and hoped that would be enough to return his name into its former standing. He rather enjoyed being considered at times eccentric, but harmless.
Although his own socializing had decreased, he found that Evie’s did not. He began to wonder if she were not being courted. He did not feel it proper to ask. It was quite possible that she was simply engaging with friends. Lady Grace was hardly to be found home, so her duties were greatly lessened. It seemed that she was either accompanying Grace on one of her trips or making some journey of her own.
Along with the upcoming party, Thaddeus began to make plans for a more substantial trip to the seaside. He knew how much Grace loved to visit the sea and he too was quite fond of it. There was something about the beach and seaside air that seemed to have healing qualities. In his final journey with a seaside resort had been among their stops. He found it to be one of his favorite moments of the two of them. The sun reflecting off of her skin, the placid smile on her face as she closed her eyes and faced the sun, and the way she held his hand as they toes touch the water’s edge. It would not be the same without her, but he thought that perhaps being there might make him feel closer to her.
As Grace return and the intensity of scandal passed away behind them, Thaddeus felt a renewed sense of livelihood. He wished to explore. He wanted to return to sports as he had in his youth and rekindle his love of art outside of collecting the most valuable pieces he could find. He had unconsciously fallen into the life that he felt his father had cursed him to. He had thought that his brother seemed happy in his position just because of his allegiance to his parents. It occurred to him that his brother was simply of a different frame of mind than he.
He had spent his life rebuffing his position. It was due time that he accepted the finer points of his position and made others better. He thought that the remainder of summer may hold for him a promise that his best times were not all past. At the summer’s close he would find a bride and move back into stable life.
Chapter 20
Evie had felt so terrible for the Duke. She had known from the start that he was not guilty and hoped that the paltry talk would soon move on to consume some other. She had often heard rumor of the like, not ever fully connecting the words with actual people. Seeing the effect that such talk could have made her think that it was not so idle talk. She wondered how many others had suffered the consequences of the chatter she had giggled at.
It seemed that the Duke had come out of it all the better. She was glad. She had begun to worry that he may be heading towards ruin. His behavior made her think of her father. It had been through his own negligent actions that he had been forced to forfeit his title. As she understood it, he had drank and gambled as well. It was no life for a proper gentlemen. She knew many more common people in London lived lives full of gin and such debauchery. She did not believe it possible for a Duke to lose his position, yet she believed that there were other more dire possibilities for Thaddeus. He could fall victim to some highwaymen or other criminals who sought out unsuspecting, vulnerable nobility to perform treacherous acts.
While the Duke had drawn back on his own social time, Evie remained very active. Not only did she frequent house parties and balls, she had been gently courting. Sir Simon Drake had sent many letters to her, to which she responded. He seemed greatly interested. While Evie also had interest in him she felt as if she could not seriously be courted by him. He believed her to be a woman of higher rank. There would come a time when he would learn the truth. It did not seem wise to allow things to go on.
Lucy had tried to convince her that it was not wrong because their family had been one of rank. Yet those days were behind them. Their husband had no large sum to add to their own. There were times in which the minor nobility were known to marry with middle class ladies, however, being that he was pursuing her under different ideas she did not believe that his mind would not change once the facts were brought into light.
Still, she responded to his letters. Although she was less about the manor, she still prized the moments she was able to share with Thaddeus. He was far more pleasant a companion than she would have formerly believed. As a Duke, he had been so cold and removed. Nobility did not deem it proper to display emotion. It was the younger members of the class who were known to display kindness. While they were not all cruel, they were not likely to be friendly.
Evie felt that she had gained the confidence of the Duke. As Lady Grace spent more time elsewhere, Evie felt that she should make attempts at kindness toward His Grace. Although he and Grace did not seem to speak at great length at any time, she was the only relation of his in close proximity. Lord Cornelius had come to visit with more frequency, but otherwise Thaddeus was left to himself.
There were feelings that Evie did not wish to acknowledge becoming more and more clear by the day. She reveled in the presence of Thaddeus. She sought any reason to speak with him at length, often inquiring about subjects which she knew he would speak about expansively. She felt as if he too enjoyed her company. He would appear in the library or around the grounds when she was there and she felt that it was not a coincidence.
While with her sister Lucy, they began to talk about the relations between them. Her sister inquired, “You are now spending a great deal of time in the manor without Lady Grace, correct?”
“Yes.”
“What is that like?”
“Quite nice. We often speak amicably.”
“About what?”
“All sorts of things. Whatever subject shall spring up. He is such a learned man. He had much to say on many things.”
“You are smitten with him.”
“I am not. I simply find him a pleasant acquaintance.”
“Your manner says otherwise. Need I remind you of Lord Charles?”
“As if I could forget.”
“It is important that you do not. I do not wish to see you hurt.”
“And you?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“You continue in your pursuit of Lord Oliver. Do you not recall what Isabella said of him?”
“She does not know him that well.”
“And you do?”
“He and I have exchanged a number of letters. He has even sent poetry. It was very pretty. He has a great grasp of language.”
“Lucy, he knows what your position is. Do you truly believe that he will propose marriage?”
“Do you think the Duke will marry you?”
“I know he shall not. Just as Lord Charles will seek some other bride. Lucy, you are a wonderful woman, but nobility is nobility.”
“They are not all the same.”
“No, but their obligations are. This is why
I will not be carrying on correspondence with Sir Drake.”
“Evie, we are of the lineage of Barons and other such nobility. It is no fault of ours that we are no longer recipients of our rites.”
“It may not be our fault, but it is our status.”
“This is what we must do in order to have our hand taken by men of proper status. This must be our season to wed.”
Evie tried to put that from her mind. She felt that she were being social enough to garner the necessary attentions. She did not wish to use deception to meet those ends. She did not believe it could happen that way. All she wanted was to find a gentleman with which to settle down and leave her worries behind her. She felt that she was good enough for that. The complications of societal life could prove to be overwhelming.
All the same, Evie remained optimistic. She worried for her sister’s well-being. With Hannah to be wed soon, the pressure was on for the other two to follow in her footsteps. The social season continued on and Evie only hoped that some prospects would materialize so that a courtship could properly begin.
On one afternoon with Lady Grace out for the afternoon, Evie happened upon Thaddeus in the drawing room. He seemed to be having a private moment and Evie tried to slip away before she could interrupt. However, Thaddeus perceived her presence
and looked up to her. He seemed to be greatly diminished and she rushed to his side to comfort him. She said, “My Lord, what ails you?”
He said, “Although I have recovered some from recent events, I fear that some damage does remain. Lord Cornelius has sent word of some difficulties on his part with regard to associations. I know that I am a troubled man. Only Abigail saved me from myself.”
Evie became deeply concerned. She had never before perceived such anguish from the Duke. She placed a hand gently upon his and said, “I assure you, my Lord, that you are a far more superior man than it seems you know. It is an honor and privilege to be in your presence.”
At the moment the two of them locked eyes. Without realizing it Evie had leaned forward, intently attempting to provide comfort in the Duke’s time of weakness. They hovered very close to one another, lips just beyond reach. His lips smelled of brandy. Thaddeus moved forward to close the space between them. He touched her arms with just the tips of his fingers. She felt tingles upon her skin where he touched. There was a heat generating between them. Evie found herself drawing near him. Her mind fought the desire, but her body submitted.
He trailed his finger along the side of her face, looking into her eyes intensely. Evie felt paralyzed, dueling with herself. She knew they should not be so close, yet she reveled in his touch. She could feel the heat of his body mixing with hers and the increase in his breathing. His lips brushed against hers before she pulled away. She looked about in surprise, as if afraid someone might enter and see. She then got to her feet and took a few steps away from him. She said in a small voice, “I do hope that you feel better.” Before he could offer any reply she had rushed from the room.
Over the next few days, Evie avoided him as much as possible. She entered breakfast early before he came down and made efforts to be anywhere upon the grounds that he was not. Lady Grace required her accompaniment in the days to follow and she was glad of it. She kept busy as much as possible and was greatly relieved when the Duke returned to the city.
Their last moments together kept replaying in her mind. Evie was not sure just how things had spun so hopelessly out of control. She had only meant to offer him comfort, she was in no way seeking to offer herself to him. They had maintained a proper distance from one another up until that point. She was able to tell herself that he had operated gentlemanly and that there was no impropriety. She no longer felt as if that were true.
She felt as if it were her own fault. She had intruded upon him in a private moment. She should never have entered the drawing room while he was in such a state. It was not her place to try to comfort him or any such thing. She was to operate as a steward for Lady Grace; that was all. Any other interaction within the home must remain of the utmost professionalism. She felt as if she had demonstrated extremely poor behavior.
Unfortunately, there was to be a soiree at Wellington Manor. Evie felt as if her misbehavior would somehow be exposed in such high company. She thought of quitting the place for the entire affair. Yet, Lady Grace wanted very much for her to attend. So she would have to maintain some dignity and persevere. As the days went on it occurred to her that it was not only she who wished to avoid interaction. She neither spontaneously come upon Thaddeus, nor he to her. They never seemed to be at the same place at the same time and she felt that was purposeful.
Initially she felt relief, but then she felt worried. Was he dissatisfied with her? Would she soon be casted out? He had not expressed any desire to do so through his steward. In truth, he expressed nothing at all. It seemed that their pleasant acquaintance was through. Evie told herself that it would be for the best.
The afternoon arrived for the party and it took no time at all for the place to become filled. There was a game of nine pins set up among the grounds, while the men played at cricket along the other side. All about there was conversations and games of some sort. Lady Grace convinced Evie to accompany her in song and Evie once again became swept up in the music. She received enthusiastic applause and was drawn into a circle of ladies who sought to praise her. She then sat down to a few games of whist, losing, but enjoying herself all the while.
She caught glimpses of Thaddeus and he did not appear to be as pleasantly occupied. Whenever she saw him he was walking about singularly, watching as the others socialized. Once again, she felt compassion towards him, but did not dare to seek him out. She had made the mistake prior and would not be repeating it. As the evening wore on, she lost sight of him and for a while quite forgot him. She became engrossed in a conversation taking place in the drawing room amongst a group of slightly older ladies.
At some point in the night she was called upon to have a word with Lady Grace. Lady Grace simply asked, “Do I appear quite right? I worry that I am coming undone.” Evie checked for her and assured that she was still together. She then moved off down the hall to relieve herself. As she went to return to the party she heard a sound off to her right. It was just outside of the guest quarters. She thought that all of the guests were either about the public parts of the manor or spread along the grounds. She peaked around to see who was hidden away to make sure that nothing was wrong.
Evie did not immediately perceive what her eyes fell upon. Initially she saw a lady, engaged in what she could not be sure. She thought that perhaps someone had some misfortune with their clothing and was attempting to redress it. Until she was able to see Thaddeus, intimately entangled with the woman. Evie backed away quickly before she was seen. She went back down the hall to rejoin the party.
Evie was very much disturbed by what she had seen. She had thought that following what had taken place before that Thaddeus would no longer like to be caught in the midst of such behaviors with ladies. It seemed that she was quite wrong. She became angered and could not immediately understand the emotion. Why should it affect her that Thaddeus remained a hapless scoundrel? However, all she could think about was her own father. Through his impulsive behavior he had completely derailed the livelihood of both himself and his daughters.
They should be of rank, with guaranteed salaries and many high ranking prospects. Yet they continued to face the consequences for his indiscretions. She felt that the Duke was taking for granted how his actions may cause trouble. His title was in no danger, but his reputation was and with it that of Lord Cornelius and Lady Grace.
Thaddeus was like so many peerages with no regard for how they impacted the lives of others. Was this soiree not to overcome his last indiscretions and yet he added to them. She hoped that no one would become the wiser. Once the guests had taken leave Evie retired to her room, still shaken with discontent at the audacity.
Chapter 21
Thaddeu
s could perceive a coldness emitting from Evie towards him. She addressed him with a cool politeness that was uncharacteristic of her usual warm, inviting air. He began to avoid her whenever possible and she did not seek him out either.
He believed that Evie was distressed at his display of weakness. He had a vulnerable moment and from then on she developed an aversion toward him. He could hardly think of the touch of her lips, not only because it had been so brief, but because it was shrouded in unpleasantness.
He knew that he should not have kissed her, but in the moment it had seemed like the most natural thing to do. She was so close, with such intensity upon her face. Yet, she had moved away immediately and he knew it was best. There would be so much more regret had more followed.
Thaddeus decided to focus his attentions elsewhere. He began frequenting the sporting club, playing cricket and tennis. The physical assertion offered a tonic to his ailing spirit. No two days passed without him venturing to the clubs.
The Roguish Ways of a Hopeless Duke Page 15