‘Hello,’ Tom replies. ‘I’m Tom.’
‘Good to meet you.’ Ramona thrusts out her hand, and they shake. Two women and a man hang back behind her. ‘Have you come to join the search party? I’m coordinating.’
‘Search party?’ I repeat.
‘Yes,’ she says, turning her attention to me, a grave expression on her face. ‘A man and his young son have gone missing up on the head. We’re here volunteering, trying to find them.’
‘That’s very good of you,’ Tom says. ‘It’s actually my brother-in-law and nephew you’re searching for – Jake and Dylan. This is Jake’s sister, Lainy. And Jake’s wife, Faye.’
Ramona’s eyes widen and she looks a little taken aback before recomposing her features. ‘Oh my goodness. Well, I hope you don’t think it’s presumptuous of me to—’
‘Presumptuous?’ Tom says. ‘No, of course not. We’re grateful. We’ve come up here to carry on searching so the more of us there are looking, the better chance we’ll have of finding them.’
Lainy and I murmur our thanks. I’m touched that total strangers would give up their time to help look for my family, but it also makes me feel uneasy. This whole situation is spiralling out of control. It feels surreal, like I’m watching everything from far away.
‘Don’t worry,’ Ramona says briskly. ‘We’ll find them, I’m sure of it. Won’t we?’ She turns to her little group, who nod enthusiastically while tossing us sympathetic glances. ‘There are thirty-two volunteers so far, but I’ve been told we have plenty more on the way. Word is gradually spreading. We’re a tight-knit community. Unfortunately, we’re only allowed to search on the designated pathways, as the caves and cliffs are too unsafe. But the professionals are scouring the out-of-bounds areas, so don’t you worry.’ Her gaze flits from me to Lainy while she says this, but lands back on Tom, who probably seems the most approachable.
‘Where would you say is the best place for us to start?’ Tom asks. ‘Is there anywhere you haven’t searched yet?’
Ramona purses her lips. ‘Hmm. I’d say the woods up above the headland. I do realise the woods are further away, but we’ve scoured the pathways along here, right up to the lighthouse and beyond, and so far we’ve seen nothing.’
Tom nods pensively. ‘It’s a pity we can’t go down on the cliffs, since we know that’s where…’ His voice trails off.
‘Where what?’ Ramona’s voice sharpens.
I’m sure Tom was about to let slip about Jake’s blood being found, but that information wouldn’t be common knowledge, so I’m relieved he stopped himself in time.
‘… Since we know that’s where they’d most likely be,’ Tom replies, recovering from his slip-up. ‘You know – if one of them had a fall, it was probably on the cliffs.’
‘Maybe…’ Ramona looks at each of us in turn, and I get the impression she’s scrutinising us. Like she’s trying to work something out. But the moment passes and she’s back too being brisk once again. ‘Lisa, can you give them each a whistle.’
A mousy lady reaches into the rucksack she’s clutching and pulls out a handful of bright plastic whistles on cords. She becomes flustered trying to untangle them, but finally passes one to each of us with a nervous smile.
‘Blow loudly on these if you find them, or if you come across anything suspicious,’ Ramona instructs.
A blonde woman hands us each an energy bar, and a man gives us a small bottle of water.
‘It’s hot out, so you need to stay hydrated,’ Ramona says. ‘I’m a first aider, so any problems, please come and see me. We’ll be staying here, greeting newcomers.’
‘Good to know,’ Tom says.
‘Tom’s a paramedic,’ Lainy interjects.
‘Oh.’ Ramona pouts, then nods. ‘Great. That’s great. Very useful.’
‘So, we’ll make our way up to the woods?’ Tom asks.
Ramona points up towards the cliffs. ‘You can either follow the cliff path, and then take a right, or you can turn back and go past the castle and head into the woods that way.’ She starts making notes on her clipboard.
‘Thanks,’ Tom says. ‘And thank you for volunteering. It’s hugely appreciated.’
‘It’s our pleasure,’ the mousy lady says, giving me a sympathetic smile. ‘At least it’ll be cooler in the woods than out on the cliffs.’
We take our leave of the volunteers as they turn to approach some newcomers. I was only up here a few hours ago, but it feels so different now, in the daylight with all these people and the sun pounding down. We head up past the castle and I keep my head bowed as we slip past a group of tourists – or perhaps they’re yet more volunteers. I adjust the brim of my hat and wipe the sweat from my top lip with the side of my forefinger.
‘Are you okay?’ Tom asks, stopping for a moment to look at me. ‘You don’t look too great. Did you get enough sleep? Maybe you should go back to the house and let me and Lainy continue the search this morning.’
‘I’m fine.’ But I don’t even sound convincing to my own ears.
‘And you must be so hot with those long sleeves and trousers,’ he adds.
‘Trust me, I need to cover up – my skin would not turn a pretty shade of tomato in this weather.’ But my attempt at levity doesn’t fool him.
‘Maybe you could go back, have a cool shower and a rest. You could come and join us after lunch.’
While that sounds tempting, I know that it won’t matter whether I’m resting at the house or out here searching. I’ll still feel sick and terrified. I shake my head.
‘At least sit down for a bit,’ he continues. ‘And have some water.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘But—’
‘I said I’m fine!’ I snap.
Tom’s eyes widen and he clamps his mouth shut. Lainy puts a hand on my arm. I shake her off and turn away but a sob escapes before I can stop it.
‘Oh, Faye,’ Lainy says, throwing her arms around me. ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be okay.’
‘But what if it’s not?’ I gulp. ‘What if it’s not okay?’
‘With all these people out searching, they’ll be found in no time,’ Tom says, recovering his cheer.
‘I’m in a nightmare,’ I sob. ‘I don’t know what’s up and what’s down. Everything feels wobbly and strange.’
‘Of course it does,’ Tom soothes. ‘It’s bound to feel weird.’ He glances helplessly at Lainy.
I stumble over to a bench that’s tucked away off the path, in the shade. They make to follow me, but I wave them off. ‘Just leave me here while I get myself together. I’ll be better in a bit,’ I lie.
‘I don’t like to leave you,’ Lainy says. ‘Not while you’re upset.’
‘Honestly, I’ll just sit here for five minutes or so. It’s the heat… and talking to those people. Realising that people are giving up their day to search for my family. It’s… overwhelming.’ I spread my hands wide.
‘I know.’ Lainy gives me a small smile. ‘Sit for a bit. We’ll come back for you in ten minutes or so, okay?’
‘Thank you.’ I brush imaginary dirt from the bench and sit on the edge, feeling mild relief at the instant shade from a couple of leafy sycamores.
As the two of them walk away, towards the nearby woods, Tom says something crossly to Lainy, but I can’t make out his quiet, low words. She snaps back at him, and their disagreement temporarily jolts me from my misery. They’ve already had one argument this morning.
When Tom found out that Cath took Poppy and Annabel, he asked Lainy if that was such a good idea. Her response was to lash out, so I retreated to my room until they’d both calmed down. My guess is that Lainy was already feeling bad about letting the girls go off with Cath, but she didn’t want to admit that to Tom. Before coming up to the headland, we drove down to the beach to check up on them. Luckily, the girls were having an absolute ball, and didn’t want to come away with us. Seeing them so happy (aside from fussing over whether they were wearing enough sun cream – Cath had already re-sl
athered them) Tom relented and said they could stay for the day. But now it seems Tom and Lainy are disagreeing about something again.
‘I’m not hiding anything,’ Lainy hisses. ‘You’re imagining things.’
My self-pity dissipates and my heart begins to thump loudly. Tom thinks Lainy’s hiding something? I’ll have to find out what he’s talking about. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe they’re simply talking about something personal. But what if it’s not? What if Tom thinks she’s hiding something about Jake and Dylan’s disappearance? Should I go after them? Demand to know what they’re arguing about? No. It’s best if I speak to Lainy later. She’s more likely to tell me if we’re on our own.
* * *
Hours later, after another day of searching, Lainy, Tom and I decide to call it a day, pick up the girls, and head back to the house. We get into the sun-warmed car, all of us exhausted and lost in our own thoughts. As Tom starts up the engine a message pings on Lainy’s mobile.
‘It’s Cath. She says the kids are on the bouncy castle and then they’re going to have a barbecue on the beach so she’s dropping the girls home in a couple of hours. Says they’re tired but happy.’
‘That’s good,’ Tom replies.
I’m grateful that he doesn’t add anything about our fruitless day. That he doesn’t say how it will soon be dark and with another day over there’s less chance of a positive outcome. That he doesn’t try to be chirpy and offer up platitudes. We’ve all had enough of those from the well-meaning volunteers. Instead, we travel back to the house in a dark fog of silence. I check my phone for the umpteenth time, but there are no messages.
‘Actually,’ Lainy says a few minutes later as we drive down Scar Point, ‘do you think we could keep going and get Poppy and Annabel now?’
‘I was thinking the same thing,’ Tom replies.
‘Oh good. It’s been a long day for them and I’m missing them like crazy already.’
Tom nudges Lainy. She turns around to where I’m sitting in the back seat, her face a picture of remorse. ‘Faye, I’m sorry. That was so insensitive of me.’ She reaches out a hand and briefly squeezes my leg.
‘Don’t be silly.’ I gulp down a wave of emotion. ‘Of course you’re missing them. Like you said, it’s been a long day.’
Down in the town, the traffic is bumper to bumper as all the holidaymakers head home. Even so, as we crawl along the coast road we can see that the beach is still really busy. People swimming, packing up, or having picnic teas. There are even some people just arriving. Families deciding to have early evening barbeques, and sprawling groups of teenagers meeting their friends.
‘Do you want to text Cath?’ Tom says. ‘Find out where they’re sitting.’
‘She said the kids are on the bouncy castle.’ Lainy gazes out of the window, scanning the beach.
‘There it is.’ I point to a spot on the beach ahead where a giant yellow and blue inflatable structure rises up from the sand like a weird mirage.
It takes us another ten minutes to turn around, find a parking space and get a parking ticket, by which time I feel completely exhausted and spaced out. Nevertheless, I get out of the car with my in-laws, wincing against the heat of the late-afternoon sun.
We walk along the promenade, weaving through the bright crowds towards the squeals and screams of delight coming off the bouncy castle up ahead.
‘There’s Cath.’ Tom points at a red-faced woman wearing a pink swimming costume and matching sarong.
Lainy stops dead, her body stiffening, her mouth falling open, then immediately clamping shut.
‘What is it?’ I ask, the back of my neck prickling.
‘It’s Cath,’ she says. ‘She’s with Kayla.’
Twenty-Seven
‘Kayla?’ Tom asks. ‘You mean the woman from yesterday morning, in town?’
‘What the hell is she doing here?’ Lainy mutters, ignoring Tom’s question.
‘Are you okay?’ Tom asks her. ‘Want me to go and collect the girls from Cath while you wait here with Faye?’
But Lainy doesn’t respond. Instead, she begins striding across the promenade and down onto the sand. Tom and I follow behind. From the corner of my eye I see him look at me quizzically, hoping I can give him answers, but I pretend I haven’t noticed. Instead, I increase my pace to catch up to my sister-in-law.
The sand is soft and undulating, and it’s hard to walk quickly, especially as there are so many people with deckchairs, parasols, windbreaks and beach tents in our path. It’s like a miniature city down here. I briefly wonder whether I should take my shoes off, or whether the sand will be too hot.
Cath’s face darkens for a moment as she spies Lainy. She leans down to say something to the petite, dark-haired woman I recognise from yesterday – Kayla. Then, Cath smiles a broad smile and waves at us. ‘Lainy!’
But Lainy doesn’t reply. She’s still marching ahead of us, her shoulders set in a rigid line.
‘Why is Lainy so worked up?’ Tom asks. ‘Lainy! Wait!’
‘Didn’t she say she fell out with Kayla when they were kids?’
‘Yes, but that was years ago. They should have got over it by now.’ He frowns.
‘Obviously not. Look, there’s Poppy coming down the slide.’ I point to the inflatable where Poppy is squealing in delight. Next up is Annabel, holding hands with an older, blonde-haired girl. At least the kids seem happy.
Lainy has already reached Cath and Kayla. Her arms are folded, but I can’t see her expression from behind. Cath opens her mouth to speak, but Lainy gets in first. ‘Hi, I’m grateful to you for having them, Cath, but I didn’t realise you’d be here with anyone else. I thought you said it would be just you and the children.’
‘Oh.’ Cath’s smile falters. ‘Well, it’s only Kayla. You remember Kayla, from school?’
Kayla shifts uncomfortably, glances across at me and Tom and then drops her gaze to the sand.
‘Yes, I remember Kayla. But she didn’t seem that thrilled to see me in town yesterday. She had a real go at me. I thought you didn’t even want me here in Swanage, Kayla?’ Lainy throws her hands in the air. ‘And yet now you’re here at the beach hanging out with my children? What’s all that about?’
Cath’s face darkens. ‘I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but I don’t appreciate you coming here and having a go at me after I’ve looked after your kids all day – who are lovely by the way, but that’s not the point!’
Lainy’s back stiffens. ‘Well, thank you, Cath, I’m grateful to you for looking after them. But I don’t appreciate you letting them hang around with random people after you specifically said you would be here on your own with them.’
‘Kayla isn’t a random person!’
‘Lainy…’ Tom tries to take her arm, but she shakes him off.
‘It wasn’t planned!’ Cath huffs. ‘If you must know, Kayla just happened to be walking past with her two boys and I asked them to join us.’
‘Just happened to be walking past?’ Lainy shakes her head. ‘That’s a bit of a coincidence, isn’t it, Kayla?’
‘Not really,’ Kayla mutters. ‘It’s a hot weekend in the summer holidays so I came down to the beach with my kids.’
Cath’s face is beetroot now, and I can’t help feeling a little sorry for the woman. It’s not really her fault. Lainy’s outburst is probably making no sense to her. ‘Do you know what, Lainy? I wish I’d never bothered offering to have them for you. No good deed goes unpunished.’
Lainy turns to face the inflatable castle. ‘Poppy! Annabel!’
‘Mummy! Daddy! Aunty Faye!’ The girls’ faces light up as they catch sight of us.
‘Did you see me slide down?’ Annabel cries.
‘Come on,’ Lainy says. ‘It’s time to go!’
‘But we’ve still got four more slides left,’ Poppy wails. ‘I only went down it once.’
‘Sorry, we’ve got to go now.’
Tom turns to his wife. ‘Surely you can let them have a litt—’<
br />
She cuts him off. ‘I said, we’re going.’ She turns back to the girls. ‘NOW!’
Several people stare our way, and Cath’s face is like thunder. Kayla looks less certain of herself than she did yesterday. She almost looks as though she might cry. I want to support Lainy, but she looks like she’ll bite the head off anyone who talks to her, so instead I tap Tom on the shoulder. ‘Let’s just take the girls and go.’
‘Do you know what all this is about?’ he murmurs. ‘Because I’m at a bit of a loss.’
‘We’re all tired and worried. I guess she’s just being protective. And it was Kayla who came over and starting yelling at Lainy yesterday. So it does seem a bit strange that she’s here with your girls today.’
Tom shakes his head but decides to go along with Lainy. ‘Okay, girls. Time to go!’
My nieces do as they’re asked, but it’s sad to see their previous joy squashed into disappointment. Not that I’m blaming Lainy. She’s under pressure too, and she’s had the added worry of being without the girls today. I think it must all be getting too much. For the millionth time, I wish we’d never arranged this trip. Our lives are imploding.
Once the girls step past the barrier, Lainy hugs them tightly and kisses their red cheeks. ‘Okay, let’s find your stuff and go back to the house.’
‘Aren’t we having a barbecue on the beach?’ Poppy asks, her chin wobbling.
‘We’ll get pizza at home.’
‘But—’
‘Come on.’ I take Poppy’s hot little hand in mine. ‘Listen to your mummy, let’s get your stuff.’
We spend an uncomfortable five minutes gathering the girls’ sandy belongings while Poppy and Annabel hug the two dogs – who are panting under a parasol – and say goodbye to their new friends, who seem a little confused by their sudden departure. Kayla has taken herself off somewhere else, and Cath stands tight-lipped, watching us without saying a word. Her arms folded across her chest.
The Marriage Betrayal Page 12