by Dean, Ali
I’m in the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, and Camila waves goodnight to me in her itty-bitty pajama shorts and barely-there top. It’s the last night before the final competition, and I remember thinking, this part at least is too easy. Unless something wholly unexpected happened to me out there the next day, the house would be mine. I hadn’t really let myself spend too much time daydreaming about what that might be like, knowing the house was too much to really want to live there forever. The skatepark though? A private park that rivals some of the coolest ones in the world? That was what had been getting me up every morning and through each day.
After all, if I’d lost early on and gotten kicked off the show, I would’ve been able to go visit Jordan sooner. But even knowing now what had been waiting for me when I’d finally gotten to see her, I don’t think I would’ve been able to purposefully lose. I don’t have it in me.
Anyway, the next scene doesn’t show us out there on our skateboards the next morning. No, it shows Camila sneaking out of her bedroom from the opposite wing of the house, wearing the same pajamas we saw her in a second ago. A moment later, she’s in the hallway on my side. There’s a framed painting of Riptide at sunset that I recognize all too well. It was next to my bedroom door for three months while we filmed, and it was bittersweet to see every day. The same place where I saw Jordan for the first time is also where she crashed and got the head injury that brought her so low.
Camila pauses by the door next to the painting, and I sit up straighter in my seat on the couch. She has this little smile of anticipation on her lips right before she puts her hand on the door handle. Then she opens the door and slides inside, as if she’s done it a million times. I hear someone watching beside me gasp.
Before I can wonder what is going on, a series of footage assaults me. Camila rubbing up against me as I reach for something in the pantry. Camila whispering in my ear as she passes me on the back porch. Camila dropping a note in my lap while I’m sitting at the kitchen counter eating lunch with some of the others on cast. There are several more of her passing me somewhere when I didn’t know we were being filmed, leaning close to tell me something privately or whisper so no one else can hear. The cameras must have been hidden with no audio, because it’s only music in the background, a song I’m now registering the lyrics to, about a secret love affair. With each encounter, Camila flashes that same smile of anticipation they showed before she went in my room.
It shows her going in my room one more time as one of the narrators, who rarely comes on, asks, “What will it be like for these two secret lovers to go head to head tomorrow? At least they can share the house no matter who comes out on top.”
I’m too stunned to say a word as the competition footage begins to roll. All of the footage they’ve shown of me up to this point, I knew there was a camera on me at the time of filming. Even the hot tub scenes, there wasn’t a person holding a camera around, but we all knew we were being filmed. The cameras weren’t well hidden. They told us that bedrooms and bathrooms were the only places off-limits, and I’d assumed there were a few throughout the house that I hadn’t spotted. It looks like they were holding off for the perfect moment to present the most enticing story to the viewers. They’d already shown one scene of Camila straddling me as I sat on a chair out back. They hadn’t shown how I’d stood up and she’d tumbled to the ground, which I actually thought would have been funny for viewers. Apparently, they had a different plan in mind and were planting the seeds for it with that scene. I had no idea this was coming, and I have to admit, they did a decent job making it look real.
As the closing credits come on, everyone is quiet. It’s not the celebratory vibe I thought we’d all be enjoying together. No, it’s awkward as hell. Everyone in this room knows I’m in love with Jordan, and have been for nearly a year. Everyone also knows things were rocky between us for a bit there, around while I was filming. Do they actually think I was secretly messing around with Camila? Even Mom looks rattled.
“You guys know that was all bullshit, right? She was trying to get with me the entire time, but we weren’t having some secret affair.”
“Boy, they sure do a good job of making it look a certain way, don’t they?” I can hear some relief in Mom’s voice, but it’s a little shaky too.
“The music definitely set a certain tone,” Marco says thoughtfully.
“Good thing Jordan wasn’t here,” Summer states the obvious.
“You said she wants to watch the whole season?” Naomi asks with a cringe.
“She can handle it. She trusts me. She’ll know it’s all just for viewing numbers.” I’m trying to convince myself more than I am my little sister at this point.
“Well, Camila definitely won’t be repping Brazen now,” Griff says. “She’s a piece of work. I never trusted her, but damn, didn’t realize what a schemer she was either.”
“Wait, you were considering her for Brazen?”
“Yeah man, she reached out to me before the show aired. At first it was a hard no, but her popularity has skyrocketed with each episode. I couldn’t help but consider it. She’s probably the hottest female skateboarder out there right now. And after that little stunt,” he nods at the TV, “people would go crazy with you two as the primary brand reps.”
“You just said you’re not considering it though, right?” Naomi confirms, her voice a little threatening. I love this girl.
“Nope. Give me some credit, I might not be quite the sacrificial lamb as Beck here, but I know where my loyalties lie.”
Moses stands up to stretch. “I was there. It’s all bullshit. Our boy spent half his time on the phone with Jordan, or looking at his phone waiting for her to text or call.”
“Hey, no one’s said it yet, but congrats, man. You won.” Taylor gets up and gives me a hug.
“You already knew I won. But thanks.”
Conversation switches to the housing arrangements, but my mind is only half there. I thought tonight’s episode would finally be just about skateboarding, drama free, but that was naïve of me. How the hell am I going to talk to Jordan about this? If she comes back to compete, Camila’s going to be right there, along with others on the show. Not to mention everyone in the skateboarding community watched the show and will think I had some secret love affair.
Then again, when we announce we’re together we’ll have to say it’s a new thing to avoid a contract breach. So at least people won’t think I cheated on her. Oh man, the speculation about whether we were together before all this, about her and Griff, it’s going to be brutal.
“So, what do you think?” Griff asks, and I realize he’s talking to me.
“Huh?”
“It’s a ten-bedroom house. If the four of us live there, plus Brie, that’s only five. We could convert the other bedrooms to Brazen offices.”
“Aren’t you going to need more space than that for Brazen?”
“Eventually, but it’d work pretty well for a while. Just an idea.”
It’s not a bad one. The place is humongous and I’m not real eager to fill it with roommates. But then I remember the main reason I was motivated to win in the first place. At first it was for Brazen, but that changed. Jordan’s private skatepark won’t be so private if half the house is an office building.
“Let’s hold off on that for now. That place in downtown Jay Beach with the offices above the storefront looked pretty promising. Have you followed up with them?”
Griff starts talking about lease possibilities. There still isn’t a physical location for Brazen, which is crazy given how big it’s become in just six months. Griff wanted to minimize initial overhead, uncertain whether it would take off, and all sales so far have been online. There isn’t even a warehouse for merchandise. He’s been storing it all in his parents’ garage. It’s time to open an actual store, get offices where employees can set up shop. Griff wasn’t sure he wanted to do it in Callaway, which is mostly a residential suburb. Summerside had some promise, bu
t there’s no skatepark right around campus. Now that I’ve got a giant house in Jay Beach, a popular surfing and skateboarding town, it seems like we’ve got our answer.
In some ways, everything is coming together. I just hope Jordan still feels that way after she watches the show.
Chapter Nineteen
Jordan
When I wake up Tuesday morning, there’s a text waiting for me from Beck.
“Call me if you’re still awake. Love you.”
It came in after I crashed last night so I text him I’m awake and would love a ride to a skatepark before a couple of afternoon job interviews later today.
No one else in the house is up yet, or maybe they stayed at Coby’s after the “viewing party.” I’ve been taking advantage of the gym in the complex, trying to build up strength and balance. After a solid workout, I return to the condo an hour later, looking forward to eating breakfast and contemplating whether it’s worth taking a quick shower. I’ll need another one after skateboarding in the hot sun, so maybe not worth it.
I open the door to find all three of my roommates, plus Sydney, in the kitchen. Their conversation stops and instead of saying hello, they stare at me with funny expressions on their faces.
“What is it? Do I have something in my hair?”
I take a few cautious steps.
“You worked out already?” Lucy asks.
“Yeah.” I eye her suspiciously. I’ve always been an early riser, she knows this.
“Did you get any job interviews?” Ellie asks.
“A couple this afternoon.” I cross my arms and wait for someone to tell me why they’re all acting weird.
“You know you could still get a job at Happy Beans. They trained you and there’s no hard feelings about you quitting so soon after starting. Happens all the time with college employees.”
“Yeah maybe.” The thing is, I’m hoping that at some point I’ll get another pro deal, and maybe that will mean I won’t have to work weekends or I won’t have time if I’m competing. But I don’t want to explain that just yet. It seems a bit presumptuous. After all, it was only luck that Brazen wanted me and couldn’t yet afford a real pro. Now they can take on whoever they want. My only accolade so far is from one contest, not to mention I don’t even have social media now. Right, so it’s ridiculous to think about getting a pro deal of any kind at this point. That’s why I’m applying to all sorts of jobs.
“How was the viewing party last night?” I ask as I fill up a glass with ice water from the fridge.
No one answers right away and when I spin around I find them all in a silent conversation with their eyebrows and hand gestures.
“I already know he won,” I tell them. “I haven’t started watching the episodes yet though. Maybe I’ll do that tonight.”
“So, um, have you talked to Beck?” Zora asks.
“Talked to Beck? When, this morning?’
“Or last night.”
“No, he texted but I was already asleep. Did something happen?” My phone’s upstairs in my room. “You’re starting to freak me out. What’s going on?”
“Maybe you should talk to Beck about it.” The hesitancy in Zora’s voice is so unlike her. “What did he tell you about the filming anyway? You said he told you a couple girls came on to him but he didn’t hook up with them, right?”
I start to nod, but there’s a loud knock on our door. We all glance at each other and shrug. No one’s expecting anyone. I’m the closest to the door so I check the peep hole and find Beck himself on the other side. My mood instantly improves as I open the door.
“Morning,” I greet him with a smile.
He gives me a once over as I lean up on my toes for a kiss, but the expression on his face has me frowning.
“All right, what happened? What’s going on? Why are you looking at me like a ticking time bomb?” As the questions leave my mouth, possible answers start to form and panic begins to settle in my stomach. I take a step backward.
“Uh, you know what? I really need a shower. Can you wait like ten minutes? I’ll be right back.” As I practically sprint up the stairs and into the bathroom, it hits me what I’m doing. I’m running. This time, literally. I almost turn around and confront him, face my friends. But they’ll still be there after I’ve had a minute to regroup. I just don’t like being caught off guard like this. Showering and changing first gives me this tiny illusion of control, over what exactly, I’m not so sure. Whatever I’m about to find out, it can’t be good.
Beck
My eyes move from the top of the stairs to the scene in the kitchen. Awesome. She’s left me with her friends, who have definitely watched the season finale, if the expressions on their faces mean anything.
Lucy’s drips with disappointment, Ellie’s disapproval, and Zora’s got some fierce mixture of anger and annoyance. I don’t know the other one, Sydney, well enough to read her. If anything, she looks simply curious.
Zora’s the first to walk around the kitchen island and get in my face. “So, what really happened with Camila Gonzales on Shred Live? Let’s hear it.”
I’ve gotten this question or a different version of it with another girl’s name so many times since the show started airing a couple months ago, I almost recite the same response I’ve memorized. “You know I can’t discuss those details. The contract prohibits it.” But there’s no way that’s going to fly with these girls, and besides, they deserve more.
“She was all over me, but I didn’t hook up with her.”
“What about when she came into your room at night?”
“Yeah, that was fucking scary to watch. I had no idea she came in my room. All I can think is maybe it happened when I still had a roommate, before Romeo got kicked off. Maybe she was going in for him and I didn’t wake up or something.”
Zora’s eyes remain narrowed, even as her expression softens just a touch. “It doesn’t look good. At all. I mean, she was wearing the same thing that she was wearing when she said goodnight to you earlier. When it was just the two of you left in the house.”
“Yeah, but then why would she wait until later to come in my room if we were supposedly together? No one else was at the house by then.”
“Duh. Because like they showed, you two were trying to keep it a secret and didn’t know that the cameras following you around weren’t the only ones. They had them placed all over the house.”
“I know it looked bad. I watched it too and was just as shocked. Even my mom wasn’t sure what to think at first. But there was nothing going on with Camila, besides her offering to meet me somewhere like three times a day,” I add. That’s what all those little “secret” conversations were. Her walking by whispering she was about to take a shower. Her dropping me a note telling me her roommate would be gone for the next hour. Shit like that.
“You and Jordan were broken up then, weren’t you?” Sydney, the one I’ve only just met this past week, asks.
I don’t really want to share my private business with this girl.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about all this with someone I don’t know very well,” I tell her. I trust Lucy, Ellie, and Zora. I know them. And sure they trust this Sydney girl, maybe, but she’s already given me the vibe she’s jealous of Jordan. It’s understandable, Jordan basically took her spot in the group, is acting as her replacement in a way or whatever. I’ve got serious radar when it comes to jealous girls, after dealing with Kelly and then Camila on the show, so I’m not taking chances with this one.
“So honorable,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I already know all the ‘confidential’ details from these guys, and Jordan.” She air-quotes “confidential” as if my relationship with Jordan isn’t nearly as sacred as I’m making it out to be.
“It doesn’t really matter what the official status of things has been between me and Jordan since filming started. Or even since I met her. I know it’s only been her from the moment I saw her skating at Riptide that first day we met. That’s all that should mat
ter.”
I put an end to the questions and skepticism I see brewing from her friends. After my statement, they don’t try to stop me as I take a step to go around Zora. She gives me the tiniest nod, showing a glimpse of respect. Ignoring Sydney, I glance at Lucy and Ellie before going up the stairs. They don’t hound me with questions about the filming details. Maybe they’re saving it for later. I do see some understanding and acceptance cross their features, even if it’s shaded by the earlier disapproval and disappointment.
Sure, this is between me and Jordan first and foremost. The opinions of others will come, and we’ll be ready to dismiss them. But some opinions, like her friends’ down there, I can’t pretend they don’t matter.
I hesitate a second as I hear the shower turn off, but opt to go wait in her bedroom. I might want to bust in there and make my case, but she wants to do this on her terms and I can give her that.
Chapter Twenty
Jordan
I already know he’s going to be inside when I open my bedroom door. He wasn’t in the kitchen when I glanced downstairs, and while there’s a chance my roommates kicked him out, I just don’t see Beck letting that happen. Besides, my friends have always been Team Beck, or Team Beck and Jordan I guess. Not including before they knew about him and wanted me to get kissing practice with Griff.
Right, my mind is spinning as I prepare myself for whatever is coming. Sure enough, Beck is pacing my tiny bedroom when I step inside, shutting the door behind me.
He comes to a stop and his eyes meet mine. That’s the first cue something is up, because normally the sight of me in a towel would have him doing a sweep, and then he’d have trouble focusing. Instead, Beck is all business.
“There were some surprises on the season finale.”
“I figured that much out from the way you were looking at me, and the girls were acting funny.”
I have the strange urge to go over and comfort him, even though I don’t know what he’s got to tell me. Instead, I grip my towel to my chest and remain in place. It’s amazing to me how strong the pull is to go to him now, distract him, and get him to touch me. But I know it’d only be to stop him talking about something that’s definitely going to be painful for both of us.