by Holly Jaymes
He nodded. “That’s a good idea.”
For a moment, we just stood there, looking at each other. His gaze drifted down to my lips like he had the urge to kiss me. I definitely had the urge to kiss him.
Instead, his gaze lifted back up to my eyes. “I should go.”
“Yes, of course.”
He turned, opened the door, and with a sheepish smile and a wave, he walked out. The door closed behind Theo Wolfe, and with it, it closed on my heart.
Eye on the Prize
Theo
I’d done some hard things in my life such as standing up and defying my father or investing all my money and reputation into a production company. But for reasons I didn’t understand, walking out on Madeline felt like the hardest thing I’d ever done.
It was ridiculous how relieved I felt when she said she wouldn’t be going out with other men. It was a signal that I was getting too attached to her. And so as much as I hated the story coming out, I had to wonder if maybe it wasn't a good thing. She was an enjoyable distraction but a distraction that I couldn’t afford. I needed to focus on this movie and on my production company. I couldn’t have all my hard work dismissed because people thought I was just a celebrity playboy.
We only had six to eight weeks more of filming, and there weren’t very many more days that Madeline and I would film together. That meant it should be easier for us to stay apart. I rubbed my hand over my chest at the twinge of pain I felt at that idea.
I hated it even more that I was going to have to go out and pretend to womanize just to get this story out of the tabloids. For one, it didn’t sound fun to me and two, it seemed like a pretty shitty thing to do to Madeline. She accepted that that was what I had to do, but I could tell she didn’t like the idea of it. Perhaps maybe she was getting too attached as well. Which brought me back around to the fact that this story going public and forcing us apart, at this point was a good thing.
That night I called Blaine to go out with me to the club. He knew the purpose of this outing and would be a good wingman. He would help me look the part of the swinging bachelor but would also be able to help me get out of a sticky situation with a woman expecting to go home with me.
The music was thumping loud. The lights were too bright. But I did my duty and drank and danced. There were many women in New York who didn’t give a shit that I was supposedly seeing Madeline Fox. A couple of them even told me they would be able to make me feel better than Madeline ever could. I tried not to roll my eyes and instead smiled and I tried to waggle my brows like that sounded intriguing when inside I felt like puking.
The whole thing made me feel dirty and disgusting, and the more I drank to get rid of that feeling, the more it seemed to grow.
“Okay, lover boy, we should probably get you home,” Blaine said, hoisting me out of my seat when I downed another shot.
“I need to make goo-goo eyes at women,” I said. At least I thought I said it. I couldn’t understand my own words.
“Your eyes are too glassy to goo-goo. You’re three sheets to the wind, Theo. Let’s get you home and into bed.”
I was drunk. Well, that explained my inability to stand up straight. It also might have explained the feeling like I needed to puke. It didn’t explain why my chest felt like a boulder was sitting on it.
We got into a car and the driver drove us back to my condo building. Blaine walked with me, or more accurately, held me upright and dragged me into the building and elevator, riding up with me to the twentieth floor. I looked at the eighth-floor button longingly, wishing I could stop and see Madeline.
When we reached the twentieth floor, Blaine hauled me out toward my apartment. I gave him my key and he let us in, dumping me on the couch.
“I’ll make you some coffee and get you some water,” he said, leaving me on the couch as he walked to my kitchen.
“Why does the world give a shit about who I fuck?” I asked, laying my head back on the couch and willing the room to stop spinning.
“It’s the nature of the beast,” Blaine called from the kitchen.
“It's creepy,” I called back to him. He returned to the living room, carrying a glass of water and a bottle of pain medication.
“Men want to be you and women want to fuck you. That’s the cost of being Theo Wolfe.”
“I’m tired of paying.” I took the water and the pills that he handed me, swallowing them both and then once again laying my head back on the couch. Blaine sat in a chair across from me, studying me for a minute. “What?”
He shrugged. “I’m just trying to decide if this thing between you and Madeline Fox is real and that’s why you’re acting like this.”
“No. It’s not like that. I’m just sick of having to act all fucking day, every day of the week. I act in the movies. I shouldn’t have to act in my real life.”
“Then don’t. You didn’t seem to mind it before when you would march around town like a tomcat. You’re a big enough star now that it doesn’t matter anyway. Unless you murder somebody or something, almost nothing you do will hurt your career.”
“What about her career?”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You sure have a lot of concern about Madeline Fox’s career. Are you sure there is nothing going on between you two?”
“I just don’t want to hurt her career before it has a chance to get going again.” I scraped my hands over my face and let out an expletive. “Look, man, I’ve to go to bed.”
“Does that mean you don't want the coffee? Because I think it’s about done brewing,” Blaine said, standing.
“I’ll take a cup and then I’m going to bed.” I managed to stand. I wavered a bit, but Blaine was there to steady me.
“Get a good night’s sleep, Theo. You’re on the home stretch of this project and I think you have a winner here. So keep your eye on the prize and your head in the game.”
I kept his statement in my head as I finally managed to get myself in bed, gripping the sheets as the room kept spinning. But along with keeping my eye on the prize and head in the game, I couldn’t help but think of Madeline. If this movie was going to be a hit, she was going to be a big part of it. The story about us in the tabloids and my reputation would only make it harder for her, so I needed to do more to make sure that that didn’t happen. I had to let everyone know what a tremendous job she was doing. What a spectacular actor she was.
It was fortunate for me that the next day the scene I had to shoot was one involving the aftermath of getting my ass kicked and feeling like shit because I really did feel like shit. I wanted to blame the hangover, but I knew it was more than that. I felt like a fucking asshole going out and pretending to schmooze with women when where I really wanted to be was with Madeline. I hated that because of my crazy libido, I might have done damage to her fledgling career reboot.
Blaine’s words came back to me, so I focused on keeping my eye on the prize and head in the game as I walked onto set and into the makeup room to get my fake bruises, black eye and scrapes.
“So you and Madeline Fox, eh?" the makeup guy asked.
I closed my eyes and willed for calm, because what I really wanted to do was turn around and throttle the guy. “Now, you know how the gossip rags are.”
“So that picture of her going home with you, that wasn’t anything?”
“She’s staying with her sister who lives in the building. So no, it’s nothing.” I glared at him in the mirror.
“That’s good to hear,” Corrine’s voice came from behind him. I looked up to her reflection in the mirror as she moved to stand next to me. “Of course, there are also these pictures on the Internet of you getting wasted last night. What was that all about?”
I shrugged.
“I thought you were done with those wild ways,” she said.
“You know how it is.”
She studied me for a moment. “I do know how it is. So was last night about you sowing your oats or were you trying to offset that story about you and Madeline?”<
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“The latter.”
She gave me a nod and apparently accepted my story, since she started to walk out of the makeup trailer. “See you on the set in twenty.”
I wasn’t sure how I did it, but I made it through the day. I actually made it through the next couple of days of shooting. But then I noted that Madeline and I had another scene coming up that we were filming in the morning. It wasn’t a very long scene. I wasn’t even sure it was significant and I considered cutting it.
But I missed seeing her, and it would give me a chance to check on her to make sure she was okay. I’d been hearing that she was doing good work on the set. She didn’t seem to be affected like I was. That was a good thing, right?
On the morning that we were to film together, when she showed up on the set, it was clear to me that there was awkwardness and distance between us. We’d have to get past it or it would show up on screen.
I walked up to her. “How are you?”
She smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. “Good. I’m leaving today after filming to go visit my grandparents.”
I nodded, hating how awkward this felt. “Good, I hope you have a good time.”
“Thank you.”
We stood there in uncomfortable silence for an inordinate amount of time. But then Corrine called us to the set to do a scene where Madeline’s character and mine were playing a game of verbal cat and mouse while having coffee at a café.
We got through the scene, but I knew something was missing. Corrine had us do the scene several times. We did more takes than we had done in any of our previous scenes, so I knew for sure Corrine noticed that there was something missing between me and Madeline.
Finally, we broke for lunch and I guessed Corrine decided to use one of the many takes she had of the scene, or maybe she decided in the end, she’d cut it, because she said it was a wrap, which meant Madeline could leave.
I wanted to walk Madeline off the set, but instead, I went to my trailer and she went to hers. By the time I was back on set later in the afternoon, she had gone.
I worked the rest of the day, keeping Blaine’s motto in the back of my head; keep my eye on the prize and my head in the game.
At the end of the day, Corrine came up to me. “So what’s up with you and Madeline? I thought you said everything was okay.”
I shrugged. “What do you mean?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, Theo. You know what I’m talking about.”
“So we were a little off today. It’s alright. The scene isn’t that important.”
Corrine put her hands on her hips. “Every scene is supposed to be important, Theo. Otherwise, it’s not in our script. So what’s going on with you two? There was actually zero chemistry. It was like I had two dead pieces of wood acting for me.”
“You know how it is. Some days we’re just off. It’s alright.”
“Okay, so you don’t want to tell me what’s going on. But you two need to get whatever it is back. You need that mojo. The next time we’re filming you two together, I want to see it. If you need to schmooze her or whatever, do it. The movie requires it.”
I held my hands up in surrender. “Fine. I’ll work on it.” I walked away because I knew I was lying. I wasn’t sure that we could get the chemistry back, at least not without risking the reputations we were trying so hard to maintain.
Home Again
Madeline
I’d been feeling really good about the work I’d done on the movie so far. I felt validated as an actress and confident in my skills. But after today’s disastrous performance, I had to wonder if maybe I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. All the work I’d done thus far was only due to the chemistry between Theo and me, and not because of my ability to act. If I were a better actress, I would’ve been able to deliver the same quality of performance today despite feeling disconnected from Theo.
Inwardly I kicked myself as I was sure this was the sort of lackluster performance that he’d been afraid of when I was hired. And today I proved that he might have been right about me. Regardless of how I was feeling, I should have delivered the same energy and drive and quality of performance that I had up until this point. After all, wasn’t the saying that the show must go on?
I left the studio that afternoon, not just feeling in a funk over what happened between Theo and me, but also disheartened by the low-quality performance I gave today. I was glad I made the decision to drive to Woodstock to see my grandparents. I could use time away, out of the city, to regroup, so that when I came back, regardless of what was going on between Theo and me, I could deliver the quality of work I’d achieved up until today.
On the drive home to the condo, I sat in the back of the car and called my sister to let her know of my plans.
“I just need a few days away to go see Gran and Pop-Pop,” I explained.
“I'll come with you,” she said.
“Can you get away?” I asked.
“Yeah. Only a long weekend, right? I have some time coming to me and I could use a trip to Gran and Pop-Pop’s too. Besides, I have a car, and you don’t. How were you going to get there?”
“Rent a car.”
“Now you don’t have to,” she said.
I was glad that I would have her company, so I readily agreed.
When I arrived back at the condo building, I rode up in the elevator and of course, couldn’t stop all the feelings that came whenever I stepped into the car. Memories of bantering with Theo, and of course, all his sizzling kisses. But I pushed that away when the door opened on the eighth floor and I walked down to the condo and inside to pack for my trip.
Forty minutes later, my sister entered the condo and went to her room to pack a bag, and twenty minutes after that, we were in her car with bottles of water and snacks, heading out into the Manhattan traffic to make our hundred-mile journey to Woodstock.
Once we got out of the city and the traffic lightened a little bit, my sister turned on her eighties music. It always made me roll my eyes, but I had to admit, it was good music for driving.
“So, is this impromptu trip because something’s going on with you or just for fun?” Nadine asked.
“I just needed some time out of the hustle and bustle of the city and I don’t have to work until mid-next week, so now was a good time.”
She cast a glance at me like she didn’t quite believe me. “Are you sure this doesn’t have to do with all that stuff in the news about you and Theo?”
“I told you that was nothing. Theo and I are friends. We’re working together well, but that's it.” Maybe if I said it enough, I would believe it too.
She was quiet for a moment and I thought perhaps she let it go, but then she asked, “Why are you hiding things from me?”
“I'm not,” I lied. Normally, Nadine and I were very close, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her about Theo and what had happened between us. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t trust her or had concerns that she wouldn’t give me good advice, because I knew I could and she would. Mostly I wanted to put him behind me. In talking about it, I would be reliving it which was the opposite of moving on.
To get the focus off of me, I turned the tables on her. “Plus, you’re never home. In fact, you’re the one that’s being secretive and keeping things.”
“I am not.” She swiveled her head at me quickly with her brows furrowed, and then just as quickly turned back to watch the road.
“You can’t possibly be working all those nights you say you’re going to be out late,” I argued.
“Why not? Being an entertainment lawyer in Manhattan is a lot of work. It involves long hours.” The way she shifted in her seat and how her fingers flexed and then gripped the steering wheel made me think that I was on the right track.
“So what’s really going on?” I asked.
“What’s going on is that I feel like you’re hiding something from me. And yet here you are, poking at me for hiding something from you.”
“So, yo
u admit hiding something.”
She made a growling sound of frustration. “There’s really not much to tell. I am working, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t mixing a little bit of pleasure with the business.”
I grinned, all of a sudden feeling cheered up that my sister was having an office affair. “So who is he? And why is it such a secret?”
She was quiet again for a moment, but I could tell she was contemplating what she should tell me or maybe how much she should tell me.
“He’s my boss.”
“Your boss, meaning one of the big partners of the firm?” I asked, surprised.
“No. He’s not that high in the food chain. But he is above me. I work directly under him.”
I snickered at her choice of words, which was immature but I couldn’t help it.
She smirked at me. “Grow up.”
I was filled with so many questions like how long had her affair had been going on, and how serious was it?
But instead, I asked, “Is that why it’s a secret, because he’s your boss?”
“Yes. It’s against the rules for someone who is directly in charge of another person to engage in any type of personal activities.”
It occurred to me that I was in the same situation with Theo. He was head of his own production company that was producing the film. As such, he was my boss, and could fire me or impact my career. Not that I thought he would, but still, I realized that by seeing him, the situation was even much more complicated, and potentially disastrous, than I’d initially thought. He was in a position to make or break my career.
I ignored the wave of concern that brought and focused on Nadine again. “Are you feeling something for him?”
Her head see-sawed side to side. “I suppose I am.”
I nodded. “I figured.”
She glanced at me again. “Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re smart. You wouldn’t put your career on the line just for some fun office fling.”