“I’ll ask again. And try to answer me this time. Are you attracted to him?”
I swallowed hard. Butterflies were dancing around in my stomach and making me regret the large raw steak I had before heading to the library. “I…”
He waited for an answer with unflinching eyes.
“The curse forces it. I can’t control it.” I hung my head in shame.
“The curse?”
I guess it didn’t matter anymore if I was supposed to keep the curse a secret. And like Lothar said, we weren’t going to keep secrets. At least not the ones that were ours and didn’t belong to other people. Rodrick could hardly claim ownership of a curse meant to help destroy all Blackatters.
I opened my mouth to speak a few times before I could collect the right words in my mind. “I learned recently that the Dolch Erbe cast a spell on all Blackatters to make them especially attracted to one another so they would procreate. It helps to prevent their bloodlines from going undetected so they can become an easier target. And when we have children, they can acquire them for the Dolch Erbe to learn our secrets and hunt down more lycan. If Alina’s theory is true, this might be why my brother was targeted. And for your information, the only reason I found out was because I was researching how to prevent being attracted to other Blackatters. I don’t like feeling this way all the time and I’d prefer not to get involved with the Dean of L.I.T. and potentially get expelled!”
I watched as he drew in his bottom lip, considering my words and trying to decide how to process them.
“Rodrick is certain this curse is real?”
“Yes. It’s real. He thinks it might be why my father decided to marry my mother. She was human. And she might have helped to prevent the Dolch Erbe from finding our bloodline. At least until Dirk showed up here.”
“What is Rodrick having you do when you should be with the Vontex?” he asked.
I took a deep breath, knowing that telling him would betray Rodrick’s trust. But then again, Rodrick had willingly withheld the truth from me. Lothar promised not to. I needed to do the same for him in return. So against my better judgment, I told him everything. Well, not everything. I left out the dream where Rodrick and I caved to our more carnal desires. He didn’t need that detail. Not that it would have changed anything. I could see his jaw clenching the more details I gave him about my upcoming trip with Rodrick.
“Do you really think it’s a good idea for you to be alone with him?” he asked. “Especially if this curse is real?”
“What are you saying? That I need some sort of escort? This isn’t the 18th century.”
“Stop with the attitude.”
“This from the man that swiped my book away and gave me the silent treatment when he discovered I wasn’t coming along with the Vontex this time?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. His muscles tightened under his trench coat. “If what you say about this curse is true then we might have a real lead on what happened to your brother. It could be why he was targeted. But if more answers come at the expense of you placing yourself in harm’s way then yes, I’m going to have a say in it. I’m your mentor. I have been from the start and I will continue to be so until you’ve been inducted into the Vontex properly. But if there’s one thing I won’t tolerate from you it’s treating everything as if its some sort of adventure. A game that won’t end up affecting your entire life.”
“You think I’m being trivial while I run around searching for who did this to my brother and potentially murdered my mother?”
“No,” he said, leaning in closer and placing his hand to the back of my neck. His touch took me by surprise but not nearly as much as the heat from his skin. It was always warm. Only now it was scorching. And my body liked it. Every single lycan sense I had caught fire and heightened to a degree that made me excited. And yet, it was different from how Rodrick felt when he touched me. It was manageable. It didn’t consume my every thought and make me prone to complete distraction. “I think you’re denying to yourself that your attraction to Rodrick could end up getting you in a situation that I won’t be there to protect you from. Rodrick has his own ambitions. A set of goals he’s determined to accomplish. He didn’t become the Dean of L.I.T. because he lacks ambition. No one does. It’s a highly coveted position because of the benefits it brings. He’s allied with the vixra and they permit him special privileges. His priorities will always align him with the vixra and he will do their bidding above all else.”
I searched his eyes for more answers only to find that I couldn’t see them. Was he being intentionally vague? Or did he want me to come to the same conclusion as him without being led to the answer?
“I don’t know what you mean, Lothar.”
“I know,” he said, removing his hand and backing away from me. “Just remember that not everything Rodrick does is in your best interest. It’s in his own. The vixra give him their bidding and he follows it. Every time.”
“Are you trying to tell me that I won’t be safe with him?”
“I think your instincts will allow you to believe you’re safe even when you’re not.”
The door to the library opened and I dodged away. Lothar pulled me around the corner as we watched two students leave and head to the dining hall. Neither of us spoke again until they were out of sight.
He lowered his hand from the back of my neck but didn’t move away.
Of all the knowledge I possessed, the one thing that remained true was my instincts when a man wanted me. I had to test Rodrick because he wasn’t giving me any hints. I only knew now that his actions were deliberate. He didn’t want me getting too close. Lothar was different. My instincts weren’t betraying me. Lothar wanted me on some level.
If I was right and he was jealous, I needed to know for sure. Lothar kept me at a distance. He was formal and professional. Especially when he wasn’t sure if I would pass the trials. Alina lied to me and said he might have feelings for me. But was she really lying? Did she see something there that I didn’t? I decided to test the theory and placed my hand directly on his chest under his trench coat, feeling his heartbeat a little faster when my skin touched his. He didn’t push me away. I veered my eyes up at him through my thick lashes, waiting to see if he would do something. Anything!
He didn’t disappoint me. His other hand came up to my waist and pulled me in closer until he was pressed against the wall and I was pushed up against him. His forehead touched mine. He brought his hand up to caress my hair. His scent was intoxicating. It made me want to submit to him. The same way Rodrick’s scent did. Only Lothar’s scent didn’t consume me. It invited me. I could say no. With Rodrick, I wasn’t certain if I would even know the word no existed in my vocabulary if he decided to turn the tables on me.
Lothar’s lips were dangerously close to mine. I thought he would bring me in closer. And part of me wanted him to. I needed to know more. Was his concern for me just jealousy? A need to control his student? He barely knew me. And yet, the first time we met he saved my life. He saw something in me. Something I didn’t even see in myself.
I drew my lips up close to his, letting him know that if he wanted to kiss me, I would let him.
He pulled away and withdrew his hand. A brisk breeze assaulted my body and tore through my trench coat as the heat of his skin abruptly lost contact with mine. I watched him walk away from me without looking back. He wasn’t playing it cool. He was angry with himself. I could sense it. He let things go too far. And maybe, so did I.
I stood there like a fool as Lothar disappeared into the distance through the courtyard only to have a less pleasant face greet me when I moved to leave.
“So I was right!” said McKenzie, appearing from around the corner with her arms folded across her chest. “You’re tagging along with the Vontex.”
‘Really? Lothar and I nearly kissed and that’s the part you clued in on?’
“If you have a problem with my extracurricular activities, maybe you should take it up with Ellinor P
rescott,” I said with a victorious smirk. “That is if she’ll take a meeting with you. It was her idea. Not mine.”
I stuck around long enough to see her face contort into a scowl that didn’t suit her delicate features before brushing up against her shoulder and pushing her out of my way. I had more important things to worry about than McKenzie constantly feeling the need to pry into my business.
At least the girl had her priorities straight. She seemed to care more about my outings with the Vontex than Lothar showing me more attention. Maybe she really did want to become a Vontex. Only one problem with that. If she was assigned to the same Vontex pack that I was, we’d have to work together.
‘What a harrowing thought.’
12
Two essays, an exam, and one oral presentation of my newly developed shifting abilities in my classes and I was nearly through my mid-term exams. I was also more exhausted than I had been in months. The amount of physical preparation was endless. The mental focus I developed was getting better each week. And I was beginning to think that I might come out the other end of this semester at the academy in shining colors.
That was before I walked into my dorm room after an evening walk through the gardens outside the fortress to see a note pinned to my pillow. It was sealed with a fancy gold wax stamp and the crest of the academy. I opened it to see some of the best penmanship I had ever seen. It was a note from Rodrick.
We leave tonight. Gather enough belongings for the weekend. Meet me by the front gate at sunset.
-Rodrick
I checked my watch to see the current time and let out a sharp gasp.
‘Sunset? That’s only a few minutes from now!’
If I didn’t hurry I would be late. And the last thing I wanted was to be late to meet Rodrick. I missed our usual meeting time for a lesson by four minutes one night and he hung it over my head for the following week. If there was one thing he truly valued, it was punctuality.
I didn’t exactly have an overnight bag. So I rolled up an extra shirt and underwear into the giant pockets of my trench coat and hoped my blue jeans would get me through the weekend. I didn’t have much of a choice otherwise. I could always buy a toothbrush and soap in Paris.
I left the room, walked down the spiral stone steps and quietly closed the door behind me without disturbing Alina. Then when it was clear that only a few students were awake to see anything, I walked through the main courtyard, passed the Bloody Tower, and toward the front entrance of the fortress. And all the while, I did my best not to think of Devon. It wasn’t long ago that I was fooled into following him to the unknown so he could betray me with a knife to my gut. When I saw Rodrick waiting with his leather trench coat pulled over his head and an expectant look on his perfectly chiseled face, I stopped dead in my tracks. He hadn’t seen me yet. I was free to stand back and take a deep breath before he caught a glimpse of me.
‘Breathe. Just breathe. I can do this.’
My heart was racing. The memory of my dream came shooting back into my mind. The sight of his bare chest, the pressure of his body pushing into me, the taste of his kiss when he pressed his lips against mine… I could recall it all with perfect clarity. Even at a distance, his scent struck me. The same alpha scent that Lothar possessed. But so much stronger.
‘I won’t let anything happen,’ I silently promised myself. ‘I’m in control. I can say no. I need to say no. Only pain will follow if I don’t.’
I lowered my shoulders, refusing to let tension gather between my shoulder blades. I had to remain casual.
I walked up to Rodrick to see his piercing blue eyes settle on me. When I reached him he didn’t speak. He simply turned around and walked away, expecting me to follow. I did so in complete silence, not wanting anyone to hear us conversing if they might be around and catch wind of what was going on.
We walked through the path over the moat then down the dirt road leading to the bridge. He didn’t say a word as I trailed along behind him to the other side. There was only the sound of the Thames rushing below our feet with splatters of water crashing into the sidelines.
Once we were nearing the forest where the Vontex hid their motorcycles, Rodrick took out a small piece of paper with a red spot on it.
‘Vixra blood.’
I watched as he placed it on his tongue and let it dissolve, fully expecting that he wouldn’t give me any.
He closed his eyes and waited for the effects to take hold of his body. I watched as his posture changed. He breathed deeper and opened his eyes after a few seconds, relishing in the sensation. One that I fully understood now and felt a twinge of jealousy that he wasn’t going to share some with me.
He raised his hand before him and pointed a finger toward the sky. Then he dragged it downward in the same way I saw Lothar do when we went back to the ritual site in the Czech Republic. The space before us glowed bright gold as the line where his finger once was opened up like a zipper unfolding to the unknown. I squinted my eyes as the luminous gold light got brighter by the second.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said to me, breaking the silence between us.
“I’m not,” I said.
“Oh yes, I forgot. You have a little experience.”
I could hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice, reminding me that I disobeyed his orders when I used the tunnels with the Vontex.
‘Point taken.’
Then in an unexpected turn, he took my hand into his and wove his fingers through mine, holding me tight with trust just as he had when we walked through the mirror. He stepped across the opening of the tunnel and took me with him. We walked over the bridge and I did my best not to look down. Not only because it made me nauseous but it was still a bit terrifying. When I looked down the world went by with such torrential speed that I might lose my footing if I spent too much time staring. So I kept my eyes forward until we made it through to the other side. Rodrick set one foot out and brought me along, holding tight to make sure I didn’t trip on my way out.
When I stepped out of the tunnel and heard it seal up behind me, it took several seconds for my eyes to adjust to the darkness again. Even with lycan eyesight, the bright glow of the magic inside the vixra tunnels was too spectacular for words.
By the looks of it, we did nothing more than step into another forest. Only this one wasn’t quite as green or lush as the one we left behind.
“Where are we?” I dared ask. “I thought we were going to Paris.”
“We are.”
He let go of my hand and walked away once more. I followed to see a small platform and an opening in the trees. It was a train station. A small one, but a station nevertheless.
“Not one for using the tunnels to go direct?” I teased.
“I prefer caution when using vixra magic. There are many witchlings in Paris and I don’t want any unnecessary attention. Especially regarding our reason for being here. If what you say about Margaux is true, witchlings will be watching their territory with great diligence. They’re more than willing to use aggression to defend their territory.”
“Paris is their territory?”
“It is if you’re a member of the Sorlin-Vontaine. One of the most powerful vixra covens in Europe. All due to Margaux Carville’s hard work.”
“And I take it we can’t be aggressive back if they get a bit too nervous?”
“If you’re asking if you’re permitted to shift without my permission, the answer is only if you feel your life is in immediate danger. Is that understood?”
“Yes,” I mumbled.
I heard screeching on the railroad track. The RER train was headed our way. I knew the train lines well enough to know we had to be several zones out. We were in for a small journey across the suburbs into the city. But if Rodrick was right and the luxra were watching the area, it was best not to use excessive magic once we reached any urban areas.
I took a seat next to Rodrick and folded my hands on my lap, trying my best to make it clear that the hand holding would onl
y be appropriate if for some reason we needed to open a vixra tunnel again to make a great escape. I wasn’t used to them yet and needed a helping hand. Otherwise, I was perfectly composed on my own and didn’t need my hand held like a child.
‘Who am I kidding? His skin is smoldering when it touches mine. Even more than Lothar’s.’
I winced as the thought hit me and forced my mind to focus on anything else but Rodrick.
We got off near the Latin Quarter and exited the train station. I was dying to see Paris again. Even though part of me always wanted to live in the country and I unintentionally inherited my father’s love for the forest, I still had a soft spot for Paris. Along with many of the smaller towns my mum took us to. Only tonight the streets weren’t alive with tourists or Parisians walking about. The streets were quiet. Too quiet. I couldn’t smell the scent of fresh food or wine in the cafes. The lights didn’t appear as radiant. There was a sadness to the area. Even as we walked over the cobblestones of the Latin Quarter and passed various bistros, I wasn’t tempted to enjoy any of the sights and smells Paris had to offer. They brought back too many memories of my mum.
“What is that?” I asked, feeling the air getting increasingly oppressive as we approached the more expensive area of the quarter.
“The entire street has been spelled to repel strangers. I don’t think Margaux’s coven wants visitors.”
“Is it safe for us to be here?”
Rodrick walked up some steps to a large door with a huge iron lock. Before he wrenched it open with his bare hands he stopped to glance back at me. “You don’t feel safe with me?” he asked as though he was insulted.
I threw my hands up in my defense. “You were the one who said the local luxra coven is rather aggressive when defending their territory.”
“I also told you not to be afraid. I’m with you.”
‘My dreams tell me that might not be for the best. Along with Lothar.’
I walked up the steps to the large decorative front doors, feeling as though each step was leading me up to a hanging noose. The entire area was ominous. Not bubbling with tourists like it normally was. And certainly not where I imagined a powerful luxra witchling living out her days. It was by far one of the more expensive areas.
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