by Nicole Thorn
When I entered, I was the only thing Becket looked at, and my hands trembled with terror that he would see too much. If he did, he didn’t say it. So, I guess that meant he didn’t see.
“Have a good day, sweetie,” Dad said, kissing the top of my head.
I tried not to shake when I opened the door.
Then we were outside, and the cold air hit me. I could breathe again, and I stared at the blue sky. Everything was better outside, where the world felt infinite. Not small or trapped.
I inhaled, taking a second to put myself back together.
“What did he do?” Becket asked as we walked.
Without pause, I said, “Nothing. We just talked. He said I have to pick up a shift at the store. I don’t imagine you would want to come along for that.” The thought upset me, that I wouldn’t see him for the rest of the day. He would go home to his father, and that wasn’t good for anyone.
“I do,” Becket said, sending relief and confusion through me.
“What?”
“I’ll come with you.”
“It’ll be a lot of standing around, doing nothing. You’ll be bored out of your mind,” I warned him.
“Not at all. You’ll be there.”
I stopped because I couldn’t help it. Becket stopped too, questioning why I was doing it. I couldn’t answer, so I did the only thing my body would allow.
I attacked him.
My arms went around his neck, and I buried my face against him. He probably didn’t have a clue what was happening but he didn’t say anything about it. He let me greedily take a lot more seconds than I deserved, being wrapped around him. Comfort, I thought, was what I sought. Becket liked me around, just because it was me. While he was so wrong, it still made me feel good.
Eventually, he put his hands on my hips, and they slid over to my back. Becket held me, still not asking why I needed this. I honestly didn’t have a good answer. I needed warmth and someone touching me. Him, touching me.
When I dropped back down, I reluctantly let him go. I had to, or someone would think something was wrong with us. Hugging in the street, what kind of hooligans were we?
I did something selfish again, taking Becket’s hand while we walked. Someone was sure to see, and he didn’t deserve people associating him with me. He should have had a better class of friends but he was stuck with me. At least he didn’t yet realize what a waste I was. I could enjoy him until then.
“I like you in yellow,” Becket said to me. “I like how it makes your eyes look.”
My heart did a weird thing when he said that. Like a little flippy thing, I’d never felt before. Same with my stomach. I wished the feelings away because it made me a little sick and dizzy. It kind of made me want to cuddle Becket more.
It did a silly thing to me, thinking that he thought I looked nice at all. I couldn’t remember the last time someone looked at me, and I wasn’t afraid they were staring because of bruises or cuts. But he saw me for other things. I wanted to say thank you but it felt like it would have been weird. I didn’t want to scare him off. So, I lived with the happy dancing in my stomach that he thought I didn’t look totally awful.
We got to the shop in pretty good time, and I walked in to find Reeth behind the counter. She had been an employee here for the last decade and was well trusted by my parents. She waved to me and greeted Becket.
“This is Becket,” I said, pointing to him. “He’s gonna hang out today.”
As she tied up brown hair into a bun, she said, “Did your parents okay that?”
“Yup,” I lied. “He’s just going to sit behind the counter with me.”
“Fine by me. I have a few fixes for you to do.”
Reeth brought out some pieces that needed mending, and some that needed stones reset. I took them to the counter, and Becket sat in the comfy chair I liked to use for breaks. I supplied him with paper and pens, and he got to work on what I thought was a dragon-y thing. I liked the colors he picked. Green and purple. I’d have to make him draw something else on me.
As I started welding together a very old, very pricey necklace, I started daydreaming. In my head, we were on my bed. I laid on my stomach, topless, while Becket drew on my back. I could almost feel the pen sliding along my skin and smell the ink.
Then I pictured his hand on me, feeling his fingers press against my hip. I hardly had to pretend I knew what that felt like, since last night. I really, really liked the touching. It nearly made me beat myself up for asking him to stop but I didn’t want it to go too far. It would have been such a bad idea, and it would have felt like taking advantage of him. Still, I thought it would have felt nice to have some kind of connection with him.
I was selfish enough to keep daydreaming about it.
The smile on my face had to have been a dopey one, for what I was thinking about. Nothing too bad; just lying with Becket, like we had been this morning. Everything felt easier with someone there. Then he would be gone, and I realized I’d been struggling. How could I have not known it was hard to breathe before him? Every time I drew air in, it felt like a shallow breath. But I could tell him things, and the weight on me was less. What would I do when he was finished with me?
“Why are you humming?”
“Ahh!” I shouted, like a totally sane person.
I looked up to see Reeth staring at me for what I did, and Becket was at my side. Both of his eyebrows were raised, and I realized that I must have been humming to myself. I must have looked really stupid.
“No reason,” I lied. Yeah, not picturing your hand between my legs or anything. I’m not a bad person. “Are you hungry yet?”
“No,” he said simply. “I wanted to show you what I drew.”
Becket handed me a notebook, and I smiled at the picture. A girl in a yellow dress had her head tilted up to look at a dragon-like creature. The creature had wide, leathery wings but a textured body, like it had short, rough fur.
“I love this so much,” I said, grinning at the boy in front of me. “It’s really pretty.”
The corner of his lips twitched. “I made it for you. If you want it.”
I lit up like a little fool, and put the notebook down to give him a hug. I knew I shouldn’t have been touching him so much. It could have made him uncomfortable but I couldn’t help myself.
When I lowered onto my feet again, I kept a hand behind Becket’s neck, and one on his chest. “I can put it up on my wall. Maybe I can eventually have a wall full of stuff you drew.”
I wished I could have done something like that for him in return but he didn’t seem to be aware of how sad it was that his room looked so unlived in. It should have been filled with pictures of friends that loved him, and family, and toys and a hundred other silly things. He deserved so much more than this life.
“You should let me take you to a nice dinner tonight,” I said. “Like somewhere so fancy that it’s gross. I can put on a pretty dress, and maybe we can dance a little.”
His head cocked as he looked me over. “You already look pretty.”
I smiled nervously. “That’s sweet to say but I don’t think so.”
“It’s true.”
I ignored the lie. “So, will you come to dinner then?”
“I have to make sure it’s okay with my dad. He might want me home tonight.”
Suppressing a sigh, I said, “Then maybe tomorrow. You should get a nice dinner.”
Before he could answer, the backdoor opened up. Reeth and I were the only employees in the building, and she was right on the other side of the room, with the set of keys that would have opened up that storage room. The only other way to get in was to find the keypad, and then to know the code. My parents and Lane were the three people alive who knew it.
Three bodies walked in, oh so casual. Two girls and a guy. A girl with white hair had a baseball bat over her shoulder, one with dark hair had nothing at all, and the boy had a rope. They all dressed the same, in black clothes, with stony looks on their faces.
“Reeth?” the white-haired girl asked the lady across the room.
I watched Reeth’s eyes dart to the counter, where we both knew was a button to call the police. She went for it, and a baseball bat came down on the glass counter, shattering it into a billion pieces. Becket grabbed me, pulling me to him and guarding my face against the flying glass.
When I looked up again, Reeth was trying to get out from behind the counter, away from the people trapping her inside. Quickly, I hit the button under my side of the counter, pushing away from Becket so that I could help Reeth.
I ran, unsure of what I was about to do. I probably should have had some kind of plan but it turned out I wasn’t all that smart. The only thing I knew was that I couldn’t let anything happen to Reeth.
In that infinite three seconds from the counter to the group of people, my mind raced along with me. Twice now. Twice people had come here, looking to hurt someone. Last time, they didn’t take anything. All they did was kill a good man and then leave. Reeth wasn’t a bad woman at all. She did her job and went home at the end of the day. She didn’t have this coming to her.
My choice had been a stupid one because the girl with the bat was ready for me. She swung, and it hit me in the stomach. It knocked the wind out of me, and I couldn’t breathe anymore. I stumbled back, falling to the ground and landing in the glass. I couldn’t even scream.
“Back off,” the girl said, holding her bat up. “We’re not here for y—”
She stopped talking, a strangled cry leaving her lips. The whites of her eyes changed, red bleeding through, taking over everything there. The color coated her teeth, trickling out from the corners of her mouth. Then her nose, her ears, her pores. The girl collapsed.
Everything happened so fast that I couldn’t even tell the order anymore. Reeth didn’t escape from behind the counter. That guy had her, his rope around her throat as he held her up. She gasped as her feet dangled in the air. I watched her struggling while I still tried to breathe.
It had to have been Becket that lifted me out of the glass. He picked me up, moving me over to the other side of the store. I gasped out Reeth’s name, hoping he would understand.
“No,” he said. “I’m keeping you safe.”
“She needs help,” I managed to say.
“I don’t care.”
I did, so I focused on the boy’s hands. I sliced his palms, and that got his attention. Only two other people in the room could have been doing it, so he looked our way.
“We’ve gotta go!” the other girl yelled, crouching over the one bleeding on the floor. “Come on.”
“Another minute!” the boy yelled, tugging harder on the rope.
“NOW!” the woman commanded, lifting her bloody friend up. “I need help.”
The man cursed, dropping Reeth. She fell out of sight behind the counter. The two remaining people lifted the broken girl up and started for the back door again. I knew I should have done something more but I didn’t. I should have cut their throats, or their ankles. Something. Instead, I gasped for breath, worthless on the ground.
When the store was empty, I forced myself into a sitting position. I couldn’t help but whimper at the pain in my stomach and press my arm there. I would have a massive bruise there as punishment for being so stupid. Anyone else would have known better but then there was me. My fault for not hiding and keeping myself safe.
“Careful,” Becket said, helping me get to my feet. He had my hand in his, and the other on my back. Every movement was painful but I’d had worse.
I hurried over to Reeth, finding her gasping and sitting up, tears streaming down her face. She shook, and I knelt down to her.
“The police are on their way,” I told her.
“Where... where are those people?”
“Gone,” Becket said. He looked to the back door, where they vanished. “They are gone.”
Chapter Eleven
Confessions Bleed the Soul
Becket
The cops had to call my father, and he insisted that I come home after the interrogations. He had given the police permission to speak with me over the phone. Manny and I had told them everything before showing them the footage from the security cameras.
I thought it was good that she had those because they eyed me like it could have been my fault.
By the time all of that was finished, Manny’s friend had been rushed to the hospital, and her parents had been contacted. The lead investigator said that we were free to go. I shuffled my feet, turning to Manny. “My father wants me home, immediately,” I said. I left out the part where he didn’t sound happy with me.
She nodded. “I figured. I’ll walk with you. It’ll give me time to figure out what to say to my parents.”
“They won’t be upset with you over this will they?” I asked. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She shrugged. “I don’t think they’ll be upset with me. I think they’ll be irritated that this store keeps getting targeted. With Reeth out of commission, there’s nobody to run the store but us.” She bit her lower lip, saying nothing as we left the store. She didn’t lock the doors because the police were still in there, so we just walked down the street.
“I’m sorry,” I said after a few quiet moments.
“For what?” Manny asked, turning to look up at me.
“For not doing what you wanted,” I told her. “I didn’t care about that woman at all, though, and I wouldn’t have changed anything. So, I suppose my apology doesn’t mean much.” I frowned but didn’t take back anything that I had said. I was sorry to have upset her.
Manny smiled at me. “It’s fine, Becket. I’m not angry with you.”
I checked her expression from the corner of my eye. She didn’t look like she was lying, not like she had this morning after coming back from speaking with her father. I hadn’t pushed then because I figured she didn’t want to tell me secrets. It only made sense, considering who I was.
My shoulders relaxed. “Okay,” I said.
We had to pass the school to get to my house. It was Saturday but that didn’t stop the other students from hanging out around school grounds. I didn’t understand why but they liked to climb the gate and do things on school property that they shouldn’t. Like smoke things and have sex, or set other things on fire. It was all very confusing but I didn’t usually have to deal with it.
That wasn’t the case today.
“Hey!?” someone called from behind us. I turned around first, and saw the three girls approaching me. Two of them were Hel’s friends but I didn’t know the third girl. She was puny, with dark hair, and dressed differently than the others. She wore plain jeans and a t-shirt.
The other two girls dressed the same way that Hel usually did. One wore a skin-tight skirt made of some kind of shiny black material. It squeaked when she walked too fast. She had dyed her hair blood red, and her lips matched the color. All the makeup on her face made it difficult to tell what her expression was supposed to be, so I stopped trying. She was too thin, and walked like her legs weren’t quite working.
Her friend had on leather pants and a corset top that pushed her breasts up. It would have been more impressive if they didn’t look partially bruised. Her hair was dyed blue and green and black, and her makeup matched.
The three of them moved in a pack, right up to me. “Hello,” I said.
The one with red hair – she liked to go by Crimson but I wasn’t sure of her real name – smiled. Her teeth looked very white against the lipstick. Or maybe it was the grayness of her skin that did it. “Aw, do you remember me?” she asked, sliding right up to me. Her hands pushed against my chest, and she leaned too close for my comfort.
Manny’s eyebrows popped almost off her forehead. “Hel only introduced us once, so I’m really flattered,” Crimson said.
Jade, the gir
l with multi-colored hair, sidled up against me as well. “It’s so nice to see you again, Becket.” Her hands touched my shoulder, and I wanted nothing more than to remove them. I resisted the urge because it would have been considered rude. I didn’t want to be rude in front of Manny.
“You had to be rushed to the hospital for overdosing,” I said. “It would be strange if I didn’t remember you.”
Crimson raised an eyebrow, and one corner of her mouth quirked up. “The reasons don’t matter, sweetie. Just that you do remember. Right, Jade?”
The other girl smiled, walking around me. Her fingers dragged along my shoulders. Manny’s eyes narrowed on her. I hoped that she didn’t think I enjoyed any part of this but she looked so irritated. Did I do something wrong by not pushing Jade and Crimson away immediately?
The third girl cleared her throat, then spoke in a quietly husky voice. “I’m Merry, in case you were wondering...”
“I wasn’t,” I said.
She nodded, dropping her hand. “Didn’t figure you were. I’m new here, and these are the only people who’ve talked to me.” Her blue eyes shifted over to Crimson and Jade with something like disgust. If she didn’t like them, then why was she spending any time with them? I didn’t understand.
“Yeah, we’re friendly,” Crimson said. She put her lips right next to my ear, and brushed them against my lobe. “Wouldn’t you like us to be friendly to you, Becket?” Manny wouldn’t have heard the low whisper but she looked ready to murder someone.
I pushed Crimson away and stepped aside from Jade. “No, thank you. I don’t want you.”
Crimson blinked, clearly surprised. “What?”
“I don’t want you,” I said. “I’m not interested in having sex with any of you, as a matter of fact.” I looked at all of them, watching the shocked expression on their faces turn into belligerent hurt.
Merry smirked.
“Oh? You got so many offers pouring in that you can reject me?” Crimson said.
“No,” I said. “I just don’t want you.”
“You can stop saying that now, asshole,” Jade warned, taking a step towards me. “What the hell is wrong with you?”